bueno-ing

Im bored to death right now, woke up too early like 6 plus 7?. Received a morning call from Daryl and afterwhich I got up and started using the com. Was feeling damn hungry thus went on a food rage and found Kinder Bueno =) I'm kinda craving for chocolates these few days, had like Kit kat chunky's yesterday and the day before was Hershey's cookies and cream. I tell you, my best friend definately wont be showing me very nice numbers. ( Runs to the weighing machine... )




Okay, so both aint telling the truth, both are SPREWED!!! =( I guess I needa head down to Ikea to get a new one. Anyone up for some Ikea shopping?, I feel so bored RIGHT NOW!!! and the fact that Im on standby is not going to make anything better for me. Boo!

Maybe I'll just head back to sleep a little longer...

Random pictures for this morning including my little sunshine.



[ Random stuff I've been drawing lately...]

[ The new road which I'm not sure where it's gonna lead to..]


[ Jo preparing for school.. and my useless weighing machine]






















XOXO,

Gastric

Finally went to the doctor this morning, and it's said that it was due to my gastric. Been skipping too much meals, thus it has caused to much stomach acid that eventually led to the shortness of breath. Somethin like " hot air rises?.." those kinda theory. So it explains why I've been feeling so breathless lately.

Half of the day is almost gone, this is usually the time when I just woke up but for today I woke up at 0615 hrs. Body clock screwed. And the time that I slept was like 2am? geez. Freaking unhealthy. Doc gave me an advise, to quit ... I was like... Ermm.. I try my best. Hahas.

Wth, I feel exhausted right now, will be heading down to KTM with my mum later on, back to meet those old fellas hahas, and also to help out a little since they're short of typist today.

Gotta crash now~
Ciaoz

PS: J.Co's donuts and ice chocolate are my LOVES for now.. =))

Take a deep breath

Been having shortness of breath lately, feeling better to do. Felt that it was a lil troublesome to head to the doctor's maybe tomorrow or something. Went out with Daryl to celebrate his friend's 21st at Tapas located near Dunlop St-Little India. Very nice chill out place, just that the weather was killing. Extremely humid.

Happy 21st birthday Marcus!

Headed over to Daryl's place after the mini gathering and had a few rounds of snake and ladder and Dynasty Warriors. LOL. I'm literally STUCKED to that game. =)

I've got to prepare for work now, most junior today =(

Back at 2200 hrs.

Injury Prone

Too efficient I guess, LOL. Burnt my stupid hand while I was rushing for that "special order" - Vege C noodles. The burning sensation is still there, my poor right hand ; pretty colourful.

My fringe is so difficult to handle these days. =( Clip it upwards was my only solution at work.

Alright the tv is attracting my attention already..
Shall continue other time.. =)

Ciaoz~

Breathless

Cramps was reacting real badly and I didn't have medications to curb the pain. Rolling in bed for like 3-5 hours, cant really remember, didn't have much rest due to the pain. Luckily I had chocolates to curb it.

I feel so bad today, like I've did a crime.
My head is feeling so weird right now, it feels like migraine but then again it feels as though someone used a brick and literally hitting on my head, even to the extend of vomitting. Everything came at once, like a time bomb.

I never liked the feeling of hurting people. Yes, some might say it's BULLSHIT. Or maybe most of the readers that reads my blog. hahas.
I cant seem to afford to cry anymore these days, the after effect feels fucked, like 10x worse than a hangover.

Im feeling giddy as I'm typing away.

Anyways I've finally tried L4D, it was fun. Now I know why Daryl got stuck to it for a while. Hahas.

It's good night and out for me,
too much thinking, too many thoughts, I need a big secret chest to store all these, to unload from my head.

Good Nites.

Leave coming to an end..

7 days of leave sure is fast. It's coming to an end in another 2 days time. =( Sadded.

Been lazing around, meeting up with the KU's done some shoppings, meeting ups and getting some errands done. Went for a dance class yesterday, and it kinda got me addicted, but sadly, due to my working schedule, I might have to miss some lessons. =(

Now both the Ku's are in Huttons-Property agents, both earning like triple or more than that of my pay. I'm so lucky hahaha, to have 2 sugar mummies with me. WAHAHA. Waiting for my treats to come along.. hiak hiak hiak.

Getting a lil sleepy already..*yawns*

Tsunami?

Saw the news on Yahoo page, bout Singapore might meet with the Tusnami on the 22nd of July, which happens on the same day as the solar eclispe. Sounds scary, like if we're able to pass the eclispe everything will be fine. Like such a news on a Tuesday morning, though it's said that even if Singapore were to meet with one, it'll only be about 1m high. But Hong Kong will meet with one that is 10-15m high. Imagine that! omg. That's like scary shit balls. Deep!! 5 levels?

Finally curb my cravings for CHoco Pops. But cant seem to stop thinking about it, all thanks to Daryl for recommending that ice cream from Swensen to me. Now Im stuck to it. Damnit.

Gotta go prepare now, heading out to run some errands.

Ciaoz.

Black Friday

I cant freaking remember my pw for my blogger. It's merely a few weeks back. GAWD.
Nothing surprising/significant has happened to my life, so I wasnt that intertested/bothered to blog about it. I just felt like writing randoms since Im still awake for god knows why, when I feel so tired, Im screening my eyes while Im typing this entry. Ms Wai Mun has finally passed her TP and I got to sit her car! hahas, what a waste ying couldnt join us, else it would have been a blast!! We drove to places so far away, that I myself never drove to, okay Marina Barrage, that was Sherry's virgin visit to that place. HAhas! =P Congratulations!! You have higher points than me! BOO! =( hahas..

I've been talking alot to myself lately, not literally, more like questioning myself in my head, and sometimes, unaware of it, I answered myself aloud. Geez, freaky. I grew extremely quiet. I speak only to selective people. And Im slowly shuttting people out.

I feel mentally exhausted, and physically weak. I feel my body aging each day,feel so lifeless each day. I've lost enthusiasm. If that's how you spell it.

Family aint making anything better, not that there's any changes, but Im starting to feel the hatred growing, like I never belonged. This is depressing, maybe cus I've lost alot, so much so that, everything is turned into hatred. So yeap, dont bother being nice to me. It's not working. I dont feel anything cept hatred.

Nights`

3rd Day

It's the 3rd day today, I'm heading to work today after 2 days of off. No one was free to head out, or maybe I just wanted to stay home. 11 more days I guess. Haven been having much appetite for food. Didn't have the mood to do anything. Even work. Im like dragging myself to work each time. I need some slacking session, but I dont seem to be asking anyone out. Contradicting shit.

Tomorrow would be another working day, then followed by an off. At least there's something for me to do on Saturday. Then after which it'll be work again. Weekends....... what am I suppose to do?. Anyone has craving to head down to the theme park for those freaking rides or something?. I just felt like going there. Or maybe Haw Pa Villa or something. LOL. Damn.

Lately, I just love the silence.

Start of the Trip

Just sent Daryl off, he's going to Brunei for a 2 weeks training. It's not even counted as Day 1 yet and Im dreading already.
Luckily his friends were around, so the atmosphere was lightened. Else I would have felt real awkward with only his family. It was jokes throughout that 2 hours before he entered the gate. =( I managed to put on a smile throughout, I know how crappy that feels. To be away, not for holiday but training. Let this 2 weeks past fast. And that he comes back safe and sound.

It's also a time for me, myself and I to reflect once again..

I will never fall.

Cleanup!

Bathed Coco Baby today, she smells nice now okay, will be sending her for grooming on Sunday. And I make sure it happens! She is currently lying on her smelly green pillow, her favourite instead of the bed Daddy bought for her from Ikea. Hahas. Silly piglet.

Have been having nightmares lately, bad ones. Last night was the worst!
I dreamt that I was doing a flight, not sure where it's to but it got screwed. It was a coming back sector, then I was doing some stuff in the galley and one of my collegues was checking the toilet when suddenly I heard a loud burst then Cap came on the PA. "Ladies and Gentlemen... he didnt finish his announcement then the windows burst, everyone was suppose to bend down cause it was a crash landing. I dont know why but it landed at Pasir Ris. I couldnt bend down in time, I only manage to run to the last row, and squat between passengers. The next thing I know, everyone was running out of the aircraft. I was badly injured, the glass sunk deep into my right arm, I felt the excruciating pain. It felt so real, my legs were all injured. Then the next scene I was in the hospital, waiting for people to treat my injuries. Then the next moment, my friend just pull out the broken glasses from my arm, it was a freaking long one. The cut was deep, till blood was gushing out.

I woke up in cold sweat. It felt too real. And it happens that I'm sleeping with the comforter again. Hais, mum said it wasnt a good sign, and that she has to wash the comforter. She felt uncomfortable with my new comforter. Hais, I chose not to believe such nonsense, but it has been giving me lots of nightmare, eversince I bought it..

Will be heading out to get my Coco baby's food.

Cry On My Shoulder

If the hero, never comes to you

If you need someone, you're feeling blue

If you wait for love, and you're alone

If you call your friends, nobody's home

You can run away, but you can't hide

Through a storm and through a lonely night

Then I'll show you there's a destiny

The best things in life, they are free

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder

If you need someone, who cares for you

If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder

Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey oh let me know

There's a place in heaven, where we'll go

If heaven is, a million years away

Oh just call me and I'll make your day

When the nights are getting cold and blue

When the days are getting hard for you

I will always stay by your side I promise you, I'll never hide

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder

If you need someone, who cares for you

If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder

Yes I show you what real love can do

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder

If you need someone, who cares for you

If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder

Yes I show you what real love can do

Drive,Driven,Drove

Had been driving these few days, getting the hang of the Fiat Punto. Rented it from turfcity, $200 for 5 days. Relatively cheap?. Bout $40 for a day, no extra charge for people that just got their licence.

Went for Ivan's wedding yesterday, hmm, we felt kinda out of place, cus our table only had Weiliang, Eric, Daryl, myself and 2 other couple. Then the other tables had like Roger, Eugene, Ling jie.. blah blah. Those younger people. The food was okay, Ivan looked damn tired, not much photos taken cus when the couples marched in they seemed like rushing for time. Hahas.

Then the day before, we headed to Marina Barrage and sadly the gallery closed when we arrived. =( Nothing much there, just some decoration ornaments and scenery. Lunch was at Kenny Rogers, we miss their food =) I miss the corn muffins. Yummylicious!!

Okay my post seems a little jumble up. Yesterday on the way to Maz's place, cus Daryl wanted to collect some stuffs from him, we withnessed an overturned vehicle at the junction outside Simei ITE. It was an oil tanker. No explosions. Just loads of foam on it from the fire fighters.

All the randoms

How to make it big?, to have a more comfortable life for my family and myself.

This is how realistic the world is for the 20th century. No matter how much I wish to lead a simple life, there are bound to be setbacks.


Goodwill

Some people lead such fulfilling life, just by doing good things to others. Giving out almost everything of what they have left for themselves. Not trying to be boastful here, but I was once in such position, whereby I just want others around me to be happy at all cost. But lately, I've seem to lost that compassion. I've become someone which I find scary.
I've become so unreasonable, so tempremental, so crazy, too into my own life. SO selfish.


Work

Has been going smoothly for me. I've got used to the environment and everything. That subconciously, I'm somewhat influenced by it. That's my weakness. Not being able to be myself, been putting on this mask, that it sort of got into me. That eventually, I lost myself.



I miss what I lost.
And Im gonna bring it back.
Watch me.

Sweets.

Happy Valentine's Day to all the readers out there and everyone in the whole wide world. =)

Busy

Been busy lately. Today will be my 3rd day for the 2nd consecutive week. Geez, my backs going to break.

My nerve near my eye area is giving me problems. It feels as though it's gonna burst any moment. The ache was unbearable. Wonder what's the cause of it.
Eitherways, I'll just go for work then maybe tomorrow or something then I'll head out to see the doc.

When it slips away, it'll just turn to dust.
Nothing seems to last.

3rd Day

Finally =) today's my 3rd day, and a deserved off. Hahas. My body clock is screwed. I wake at odd hours and sleep when everyone is bustling down the streets. Happy belated birthday to everyone yesterday. =) Ren ri on Chu 7th of CNY.

Plain

CNY was a very simple and plain one this year. Due to the fact that recession is here to stay for a while, and that everyone is kinda avoiding CNY, and the fact that I was working. So yea, each little stuff contributes to it. So far, I've only been to my Ah Mah's place, Daryl's place, Reuben's place, Jason's place. Upcoming would be Sherry's place, Daryl's relative's place. I didnt go over to my Great grandmother's place this year, moo year seems so quiet. I dont really feel the CNY excitement.

Should be preparing now, as I'll be heading over to Sheryl's place =) Primary School meetups! =)

Adios`

Da Chu Yi

It's the first day of CNY. Xin Nian Kuai Le =)
Im quite surprised that Im all ready to go to bed anytime now. Im in my PJ's and Im feeling sleepy already. Today everything went well and work was smooth. =)
Tried fake lashes today, and it was stucked to my eyelid throughout. Had an early reunion dinner today at my grandmother's place. There was ABALONE!! but I only had like 2 pieces. Dont really appreciate it though =p. Preferred the longan with red date drink. That's my favourite =)

Will be heading back to grandmother's place on Chu Er (day 2), and it's gonna be a very busy day. Can't wait! =) till then, I'll head to rest now, having another flight tomorrow.

Nights everyone.
Hong Bao Na Lai!!!!

Contradicts

May all those that got to work on CNY to gather around and congratulate each other on a good job well done that we are not going to take MC for it.

Hais, as contradicting as it may sound, Im quite affected that Im not going to gather with my family members to enjoy some steamboat and catching up session. To just sit around and hear the laughters in the hall. Looking at my aunts and uncle, taking group photos. Sit around to gamble and eating ba kwa. But on the other hand, I get to avoid answering questions avoid showing the fat side of me. Ha!. This year I didnt do much shopping. I bought only a red tube dress for my second day ( my only off day ), a simple black and white dress- not meant for CNY, 9 sets of new "DKNY" hahas.. if you know what I mean, ya that's about it. Kinda cost a bomb as well. Geez.

Hopefully I get to celebrate CNY next year..

Dont feel depress about it, not everything will go our way though. It's okay to not be around for CNY, just chill relax dont let it affect your working mood, put a smile on your face, these days will pass faster when you dont brood over it.

Cheer Up!! =)

Weekends =)

Your long days in camp, or long office days is finally ended and it's the weekends once again. =))
Time to sit back relax, play your PSP, watch some CSI series or just GO OUT!! well, Im heading for my "fun" now, back in the evening.. till then..

Xoxo
Jojo.

KRAZY!!!

This week is madness. Totally. My pay came in, but my bank statement now looks so disappointing, there's a hole in my account! my money's gone. And I dont see any new stuff on me. Damn those bloody food!! My freaking old school weight is back, it's so damn irritating!! New year's like next week and im looking like crap! =( Lucky Im working this year, so I kinda get to avoid alot of visitings. Lesser visitings = lesser income. Geez.

My new year shopping isnt complete. I've not got a single thingy yet!! Im planning to head down Haji Lane later, see if I could grab something from there. My shopping list is filled! but I wonder if the $$ is enough. Can someone drag me to the stadium to run or gym? Please?.. just drag me, keep reminding me of the fats i've accumulated. =( UGH! Damnit.

Crap.
Fats signing off`

Dream

I had this very weird dream once again, I guess in that dream I lost my job and went back to studies. Not a private school but, back to ITE. HA!. This time around it's not Simei ITE it was somewhere else, somewhere kinda run down. And my subject was some mechanical shit! hahas, geez. Then in the dream I totally regretted studying mechanical, cus I know nothing bout it, I joined only like second half of the semester or something, loads of things to catch up on.. then I was asking myself in the dream why wasn't I in Simei's Beauty therapy?.. hahaha. WTH right. Then my dream changed scene.

I was in this big hall, filled with students, then Wani was in my dream, like how she usually crack me up with her jokes, I was laughing so hard in my dreams I guess subconciously I felt myself laughing out loud. Luckily no one was home, else my sis would have given me a slap on my face. HAhas, then the scene jumped again, this time it was Shi hui, I dreamt that I was walking along the shop houses when I passby this cafe and saw her with the usuals, in the dream I was boiling, I literally screamed at her, I said something like.. " so that's how you wanna treat me la.." well, I don't know why I was that furious.. Geez.

And now..
I got to head back to the clinic to have my second round of drawing my blood once again, cus the doctor said the blood he drew wasn't sufficient........ I've already a blueblack for my first draw, now another one. UGH. So much for having obvious veins. Doctor said my veins are very fragile, the minute the needle went in, he said it punctured/burst..

I'm having second thoughts of getting a new phone. Yes I know I just bought LG ice cream, but....
I'll get slaughterd if I attempt to get a new one. =p SAVEEEEEEEEEEE...

more updates coming up soon, in the meantime I gotta go for my jab..

Toodles,
anne.

Ponders

I wonder what I'm actually doing. Been working, and stayed home, most of the time hogging the computer if Im home and only head out during the weekends, my life has turned mundane. Everyone around me has got their own stuffs to do. It's not easy to maintain friendships. I miss Ang Lin Lin, I wonder where the hell she went, the last contact no of her's cant even get through. Wonder how is she doing right now. It sounds like work has tied me down alot.



Im not really complaining about it, this is life. Some things come some things go. It's a give and take. Can't have the best of both worlds. My life is a little stagnant right now. THough it's only like 8 days into the brand new year, changes are catching up so fast, that Im breathless sometimes. To reach for the goal, you gotta go all in. And when you actually slowed down to take a look around, everything, everyone has slowly left you. Till the time when you actually slowed down to take a look, the people you've once known might just change into someone you dont know or understand anymore.



THoughts are running in my head once again, people that use to have so much nonsense to talk with like PS,SH, the 5N2 ladies and gentlemen. Wow, if I've got to write down everything, I doubt one entry is enough.



Im becoming someone I dont know anymore, I hate being so serious. Why does everything got to be so serious?. I miss having fun and loads and loads of nonsense. Like times when me, Van, Aud, Zara.. just laugh at the toilet bowl that was flushing continuously like a tornado, or just laughing at some random shit be it from Aud, Van or myself. Im more quiet these days, and by writing this entry it's making me emo. Ewwwwww



On a lighter note, I've got myself a LG Ice Cream =) it's white in colour. Love it =) simple and sweet.

It's a love/hate situation with my career. It's like a relationship. Hahas, anyways I just miss having big group of friends having lunch/dinner, walking around the malls, having somethings in common to do..just hang out.



Things I feel like doing..



-Picnic
-Sentosa Beach Vball
-Shopping
-Singing
-Spa/Massage
-Club
-Prawning
-** secret

Alright Im feeling sleepy already..Toodles =)

Drop dead like a BOMB

Finally my off day once again. Im exhausted, running up and down the aisle. Anyways it's over. I still get to see the sunlight and only half a day gone, I've still got 1 and 1/2 days more to R&R =))

My nails are in a very horrible state now. Even typing kinda kills me. MS G please call me soon. I need an appointment!!.

Considering the feedbacks that I've got for G900, I've changed my target to LG Ice cream =) just a simple phone will satisfy me. Need no sophiscated ones.

Im pretty exhausted now..shall continue some other time.

Time to crash!.
Nites everyone =)

New Year 2009.

Another year has past and it's year 2009. Alot of changes in my life looking back from 2008 till now.. finally some accomplishments . A stepping stone. New year eve this year was a quiet one. Not like crazy parties I use to love back then. Eitherways it's a brand new year all over again, and Im 21. Geez, tell me more about things a grown up need to know and handle.

A new year a new start, hopefully a better person. My resolutions are simple.

Welcoming 2009:

-Save more money.
-Stop taking MC's
-Be more hardworking
-Stay positive
-STOP SNACKING
-Jog more often
-Hopefully my jeans can down 2 sizes.
-More meetups with friends..

Pink of health for my family and friends.

Morning Angels

Long time since I had my randoms on my blog. Been kinda busy lately, most of the time catching up with the sleep that I've missed out on. Well, been busy catching movies and companying the silly monkey. It's like a long holiday for me.

Updates on my daily life would be back on track I guess...

First and foremost, IM OFFICIALLY TEWNTY-ONE!! Legal!! hahas..looking forward to movies at Yang Ze, or something. Hahas, I dont know the actual spelling for that specific theatre. Well, Im just glad that people I've miss have turned up my celebration, a small one. Disappointed with some, but I shall keep the comments to myself. Im glad for those that turned up and made my day a better one. Thanks for all the wishes =) Special thanks to Pei Shi, Mantianal- Lily, Cactus, Kiku, Lavender, Sheryl, Jun, Dennis, Kelvin, Wei Jie, Feng Chang, SOP-Sherry, Nicole, Ying, Chantelle, Jason, Jeff, Nel ( Bday boy as well ), Mark, Reuben, Terrence, Cong, Lao Da, Collin,.. My ITE mates- Ah zek, Lion, F word, Handsome Ed, Minghan.. HD peeps-Andy,Ym,Daphne..5N2 gentlemen-Josh, Kenneth,JH,Nicolas,Willkie,Mas,Irvin.. Seniors-Cher, Kuan and post celebration by HD peeps-Fen,Ym,Andy,Hannah,Mingwei,Cecilia,Qiaofen,Clark thank you everyone, appreciate it alot, my family, Gynn and her bf, and most importantly Bi-Daryl.


Without his persistance, I wouldn't had initiated any birthday celebrations. Thank you so much bi. It ended off well..

Thank you my ladies for being with me the whole day..Mantianal. Sherry,Jason,Nicole and Jeff. Thank you so much..

And so, I've finally attended Midnight Mass, and finally gone down town to see the Christmas lightings.
This year came and gone so fast, I never caught a good glimpse of everything that past me.


I wish everyone best of health, happiness and fortune for the coming 2009.
Cheers~

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! =)

HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! PEACE YO!!

Untimely

I woke up at this untimely hour cus Im feeling a little hungry and I've got some cravings for CHOCOLATES!!!!! UGH!! I miss the hot chocolate!!

Gonna search my fridge later, this craving is kinda strong, feel like going to the 7-11 to get a bar of it. UGH. Curb this temptation... Boo.

I'm actually home on a Friday, no Saturday early morning already. But it felt good to be able to sleep in. My Xiamen flight was tiring though. Like to the extreme, not sure if it's due to lack of sleep or something, but when I touched down, I felt so drained. Exhausted.

Yipee!! Chocolate is on the way =))
TWIRL!!!!

Tv time..

Tired of explaining.

I've come to a point where I grew tired of explaining. I know that's not healthy, but I guess not everything I do got to be accounted for?. I HATE people yelling at me, showing their anger on me. How great are you?.

For instance, I was filling in some form. Which to me, is kind of personal so, Mr KC came out from the room, immediately my first reaction was to flip the form over. Puzzled, he asked what was it, so I said nothing and straight into his face I said I dont like it. For that he went into a rage flaring up slamming the door and everything. Now I know how that feels. I do need my own privacy, I aint small kid no more. Give me my own space. Maybe I should choose my words these days, it's been quite offensive.

Finally I went for circuit driving today, it was horrible. I was kind of impatient cus I was so used to driving on the road, that when I went into the circuit, it felt so unbearable!! I couldnt drive more than 20km/hr!! the place was too packed. Geez. Saw Uncle Gordon today, hahas, ah pa! I miss your teaching!!..not that my current instructor is bad alright. Just my own preference. Impatient in the sense that everything be it to stop here, or to turn here, etc.. everything was like so last minute, made me so angry. Should have like told me, for circuit you need to drive slow, there will be lots of turnings to do, you will have to pass through .... so on and so forth. At least PREPARE me.. Hais. But it went well after a few rounds, plenty of roll backs today..hahas.

After which, headed down to the stadium for a 2.4km jog, tired now.
Bedtime.

Classroom

I miss a classroom filled with familiar faces, people that brightens up your day be it the skies of grey.. I miss those moments man, be it ITE days or Sec sch days.. I miss being that wilful brat, talking nonsense and laughing so hard.. till our stomach couldn't take it..

Down

I can't feel my stomach cramped up with laughters these days. Cloudy skies are here to stay, and it's been quite a while. My mood fluctuates with the colour of the skies. It's gloomy skies these days.
Buckle up Jo, a storm is coming this month. Monsoon season.

I need more haunted inn clips or something..

Earful

Hearing the same things but harsher. Im at the edge right now. Either ways it's death.
I seem to be a little confuse and it's not really helping with the weekly war.
"Through" has been a frequent word used. Like it has lost it's meaning, instead it became more like a threat to a kid.

How does hate and love coincide?.
I can't rant no more, cus it'll just create more negative vibes..
Now Im tired. I lost the struggle, it only lasted for 2 days and I picked it up again.

Waiting

As per usual, when Im done with preparing and I've still got time to spare before I leave home for work. I'll surf the net, check out my horoscope, check out my facebook and maybe like now-blogging. Ugh, it's really a chore to wake up early. But nevertheless, I'll get to go home early. Can't wait to head back home. Hahas.

So many things going through my mind, be it the negative or the positives. I've got to weigh them correctly, cus my heart and my head doesnt seem to coincide with each other. Which I guess is ALWAYS the case. Gotta reach airport by 0530. Boo. Im lazy seriously. In fact, extremely lazy. Bummer. December is coming, confirmation for the seventy's is coming. Doubt I'll be getting mine.

I've got to start inviting. But who can I invite?. No one seems to be free, and some didnt reply me. But I cant blame them though, I know I've disappointed some, so I have no say on whether Im disappointed in them or not. But yea, this is how far my friendship with them have gone. Time really drifts everyone away from me. And to my own doings, it's getting worse. Somehow or rather I forsee bad premonitions. Blame it on my own doings. Call this K A R M A.
Im merely on this thin line. 21 aint my kind of fun no more.

Too many things, it's bringing me down.
Too many thoughts..
Too many IF's..
Too many doubts..

This little things are all pilling up. Will you catch me if I fall?..

Bleeding love..

Down the slumps

My mood is definately not in the right state. Like as though I had a little too much to drink. Like as though I predict something.

And this time round, something bad. If you have something to say, can you just let me know?. I feel weird. This feeling is overwhelming me, and it's making me upset. Is this the season of falling into (emo-ness). It's like I dont know you anymore.

Finally an end to my holidays. Back to work, gotta wake up at 4am for a morning flight.
Went on a spending spree. Burned a bigger hole in my pocket. Treat my mum to a classic mani and pedicure plus colouring of her hair. She's happier now, I've a little lesser to spend.
At least I've done my part on pampering her. At least something for her, so I guess once a while burning my pocket for my them is fine with me.

Im dreading. I dont like feeling this way.

I better tone down lately.

Goodnights.

December

I hate December. Seriously, so many freaking problems. It's always a vicious cycle. I hate this kinda feeling. I HATE IT. I HATE YOU!! why must it always got to be YOU!!! Can't you just vanish?. Or maybe I should just vanish. Sometimes I really regret making this decision. Or am I just too narrow minded. One way or another, it's driving me up the walls. I can't express myself in words, it always ended up making me feel like im a control freak or something. Woman, sensitive creatures by nature. Or it's just Joanne's nature. Either you stick with it or get out of her life.

I've tried changing and Im glad I changed. No point sticking to the old me, when nothing I did was appreciated. Till it was gone that people learn to cherish. I'm going bonkers seriously. Is this KARMA on me already?.

Lately my sensitivity level has been increasing. I guess it's due to the lack of sleep. I hate feeling depress. It feels so stupid.
Especially when Im depress everything that goes through my mind seems like some mixed up jigsaw. My feelings and thoughts are all jumbled up like scrabble. I wish to make my point clear, but it always ended up with another meaning. I don't ask for alot, I just want the basic, the simplest. Yet, it all blew up. POOF!!.

I'm grumbling all my randoms, it's seriously driving me crazy. I can cry for hours over matters that dont mean a thing at all. How silly is this. I hate DECEMBER seriously. Give me a reason why I shouldnt or why am I behaving in such behaviour?. WHY!! Do I not know how to compromise?, am I really so irritating?, what am I suppose to do?. I feel so pist off so freaking pist off!!! It's not like someone triggered me, it's like the time bomb in me just exploded by itself.

This post is extremely random, I guess it's due to my PMS. It's really driving me up the walls.
I guess I need a sandbag, for me to release my anger, no one seem to be able to understand this. NO ONE. Not a single person, no one. How pathetic this is.

My eyes look like a pair of goldfish. Still no calls.

The cramps are killing me. Nothing seems to be going smoothly.

Im giving up on myself.

Useless.

2 more days

2 more days till Im officially back to work. Can't wait man.
Just woke up, imagine how screwed my body clock is working. I practically bummed around during my leave with nothing done. Becasue of money issues, I held back all my projects. My intention was to:
1- clear up my clothes, so that I can stock up with new ones
2- clear my study room so that my new bed can come in soon.
3- clear my dressing table ( currently a computer table.. with a huge mirror) so that I can get a proper one.

that's about it man. But sadly NONE accomplished.

Ran through my old albums back then in secondary school, I couldnt believe my eyes man. I looked freaking bloated but tanned. I miss the tan. With the weather like this, it aint helping much though. Hopefully I can get to do some decent tanning some time soon, Im sick of being fair. My veins looked freaking scary, like railway tracks all over my body. EEeeww.


December's coming, and I've got no plans but another 5 days leave. I don't know what to do with a 21st celebration, any ideas? my 1st intention was to hold it at my void deck, LOL. I find it pretty cool, but some of my friends objected to it. Then came the MacDonald thought, but I was thinking who will come man, not like I have alot of friends, and not everyone is free, they'll definately give me a " err..I dunno eh" answer, and I cant give a confirmed no. of people attending. ARGH, I hate planning for birthdays. Haven't seen Mantianal for quite a while now, the last was Cactus's birthday. Like in Aug...Geez, everyone's so busy. I'll be back with my busy life too. I have ran out of plans for my birthday, maybe from the 18-22th I'll just do small gatherings with all my friends that are free. A continuous 5 days celebration with different groups of people. UGH. Boring. Else to save everyone's trouble I'll just give you my account no. donate any amount as you wish. A donation drive to save Joanne. Hahas.

It's peanut butter jelly time!!!

Bummer

Been bumming around for 4 days now, if inclusive of the weekends it would have been 6 days already since I last did any flights. The last was an overnight to CKG, which was also when I got my 3rd check. Geez.

3 more days for me or should I say 2 1/2 days before I hit back to flights. I kinda miss the hectic life once a while, it feels a little boring when Im home doing nothing and no income coming in. It feels horrible.
My sis came back from Taipei yesterday, she bought a wallet for me =) brown in colour..AWESOME!! =) It doesn't have to be expensive though, I love the compartments it has inside, it's brown, and it's unique. =) Jealousy boiling inside of me..I wanna go there too. PATIENCE. I'll wait for April'09. PATIENCE.

Confirmation in Dec. Ugh. I wonder how long I'll be extended. =( Geez.

FAT.FATTER.FATTEST.

I wanted you by Ina

Since everyone's been uploading mtv's onto their blog, I find this song kinda nice. Introduced by Joleen.

Couldn't find the MV .. the base a little overpowered too..





Just the beginning..

Unbelievable

Read 2 sets of newspaper on board, the flight was too draggy with too many details which Im too lazy to go into details with.

Thoughts and feelings for what had happened to be in the headlines. Questions surfaced.. same reactions. Why so silly? It was considered quite a detailed description of the whole incident, apart of me was thinking, Damn why wasnt I there..geez.

Tired.Shag.HEADACHE.

Toodles.

All to myself

Jo's leaving for Taiwan tonight, the room will then be only mine all the way till the 19th. Woots`

I'll be going to Chongqing tonight, back only tomorrow morning bout 0525hrs.

Pictures will be uploaded soon into my multiply for Qiaofen's birthday celebration. Stay tuned.

Got to go now.

It's misses.

Gain back what I lost

The carbs are all running back to me all at one go. Im back to my original FATNESS!.
This is crazy, I thought changing a new job would bring my weight down. Apparently, I forgotten the fact that Im a food lover. OH GEEZ~

Freaking 51.2kg GONE! =( It's back to 53 LAGI SAD!!!!!!!!! Like to the extreme. =(

Gotta cut down on supper, CHOCOLATES, SWEETS, POTATO, FAST FOOD. The list just bloody goes on. =( Just today's flight, for the 4 sector, I ate all the way man. CRAP!
Met nice people at work today, enjoyed myself though it's really tiring. Like I feel the ache on my shoulders man. UGH. Seriously I hate the 3rd sector, like to the CORE MAN! But I've got no choice do I? hais. It was a freaking tiring flight, not the crew bt otherwise.

Drive me up the walls balls.
Geez.

I'll be back with post bout my uncle's wedding.. another day. Cus people say Im FAT. So I dont wish to be reminded. HUMPH!~

MOF

Just a short post before I head to bed, went to MOF for dinner. Laugh my ass of man..

Let the pictures do the talking.


Babe if there's anything, be it good or bad,anytime of the day. I'm just a call away.

Dont worry..



[ Premium New Zeland Beef.. ]

[ My claypot Ebi Udon ]

[ The tea..apparently I didn't ask for ice water..]

[ Trying out ways to clip my dull hair..]

Toodles. =)

Nonsense

10 Worst Company Domains


Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com

Alone

It feels empty when everyone's asleep. Stupid EMO shit. hahas.

My "off" days are coming to an end. Back to the real world, been escaping from it time and again. Something which I should be facing head on with. Work. Adulthood.

Adulthood,
It's nearing me. Catching up with me real fast. How did my freaking 20/21 years of life just left me like that?. Geez.

My uncle's wedding coming up next this Sunday, Fatty hasn't shed a single weight man. UGH. Hate this, they're going to say Im fat again. UGH. With more questions to dig out from me. Please make me busy that day.

Bored.Bored.Bored.

Ponder on it

This was another big row.

For the benefit of the doubt it was my fault. The last minute me heading to the airport clinic. But besides that. I don't wish to say further. It's another row that's all.

From now on, no more last minute, I'll go solo.
I hope even it's your last minute, at least I know what's going on. Even if it's an attempt.

Gastric Flu

Went to watch High School Musical 3 at PS. LOL. Daryl was literally keeping his eyes focus on the screen cus he was like dozing off quite a bit. Yea, I agree it was bad. Still preferred the first one. Then dinner at Hunky Tori.. Erm.. I guess Tori Q would be of a better choice.

Met Nic later on for dinner/dessert at Hougang Mall. Slacked around some void deck, and we left bout 11 plus. On my way back , I felt like vomitting cus I thought the cab driver drove badly. In total I puked 8 times at home and 1 time at the airport. It seriously felt like crap. Geez. Doc said it was gastric flu and he gave me a jab to prevent me from vomitting. 2 days MC. GREAT. Now I'm defiantely down for extending of my probation. =( SHIT.

Intense

It's been a long time since it just came rolling down.

Crashed

Eventually I headed down with Nic to Dbl O.

The crowd was crazy, I saw one of my friend posed as Catwoman. Nonetheless, her figure fits well to it. I saw Van and Janet, Eric, Nic's friends, Terry, Ros!! and alot more..

I guess I'll just sink back to seclusion. I feel best there. No more asking for company anymore.

Enough.

Dream

The freaking dream felt so real, it felt so familiar. Like it'll actually happen. Must be too much mentioning of it already. I feel damn affected by it.

Can I just say dont go?. Apparently not.

Im sinking already. I seriously hate this feeling. Im looking forward to my off day.
Which I hope it's a good one.

Fucked up.

Flo Rida

LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW.

Happy Halloween to everyone out there who loves to dress themselves up when they already look like crap. =x

Contradicting shit. Just cause I wont be able to enjoy it Im insulting it. What a loser.

Sometimes, I really wonder why. It slapped me hard on my face. It tore me down.
I wanna see that sunrise again.

Welcome to the fight club.

Nights.

Tired. Grumpy. Hungry

The wind is howling outside as I'm typing away. How I wish I'm still sleeping right now. UGH.
Today's to Solo. Back by noon =) but apparently I've got some halloween errands to run, Bras Pasar. Hmm, where's that man?. Just to get a MS uniform, DOUBLE UGH!. Hopefully it's near Beach Rd or something. At least I can get something for myself just in case I wanna go out and party away tomorrow after my 4 SECT. =( Tired to the max.

I HATE drunkards. REALLY.

Driving yesterday was terrible, I stalled total : 3 times. =( For a freaking right turn. UGH. Where have the fun of it gone to?. I prefer driving without my shoes on =)) and it's okay to be barefooted when you drive during your test. BUT, the disadvantage of being barefooted is that, you tend to use your toe to step onto the clutch, which apparently happened to me and I almost cramped. Hahas, what an IDIOT.

Hais, clock is ticking.
Got to go, got a flight to catch.

Toodles,
Hungry Jo.

TLC

Maybe I've been a lil too much lately. A lil more confidence, a lil more self-esteem, thus it gave me a lil boost and Im starting to voice out.

I dont ask for much do I ?
It's just a small little thing which I believe could have been a joke. Instead it turned the other way.

To EVERYONE please, when you happen to call me on the phone, please do have PATIENCE with me. I'm having a little problem with my hearing, must be due to the loud engines. Either that or my phone is giving way soon. So I'll tend to "HUH?" quite often. Do bear with it. Many apologies.

Im tired. Really.

Another working day for me again tomorrow. A long day. How to pass it?.. =(
I've not even rant out my day for today, nono I mean yesterday cus it's already past midnight now.

TLC.

Jo, what have you done again?..

Drunk

You weigh more than a ton man. Hahas. Currently at my place, he is dead drunk. Sleeping like a log right now. Thankful for his friend to send him to my place and helped me carry him up. Else I'll be spending the night downstairs together with him beside his puke.

To ERIC TAN!. You better WATCH OUT!. Dbl O right, I'll go there to find you some day. IDIOT!.

I can only laugh at your silliness. Your're so wasted.
But I'll never believe what a drunkard says.

571 post

Nothing significant about it. I'm just bored, cant think of anywhere to go. Currently he is doing some stuff to his laptop. So yea, Im sitting here using his com to blog. Half a day gone, oh wells. Weekend gone. Crew scheduling calling me anytime now I guess, wonder what flight I'll be doing tomorrow.

Bored.Bored.Bored.

Girls

Sensitive. YES.

I've always been sensitive bout stuff, though Im known for having a lil elephant. Hahas. I'm sensitive especially if I feel like I've been misunderstood or otherwise when it comes to issues with friends. Never the less, I apologise if I was giving attitude of what not.

Cause I was being wronged before and it felt like shit. It just reminded me of other stuffs. Anyway, hope problems has been resolved.

Concentration

My concentration this morning was off. SO off.
Couldn't fall asleep thus I used the com all the way till 4am. Therefore felt like shit. I was so tired at work, the load was freaking full. UGH. It's all over. =) Sigh of relief.

Today was nothing but the norm.

I believe in what I see for myself. I'm sick and tired till Im immune to it. I don't feel hurt, I don't fear neither do I bother anymore. If you loathe me that much, then you can jolly well dont turn up. What's the use of turning up and showing a face?. No point acting nice to me, when you don't mean it. I dont need that crap from you. You can choose not to answer me too. I tried explaining to myself maybe it's my fault, but that was back then. Things hasn't change one bit. You're still the same. I can't be bothered with you anymore. Do whatever you like. I don't care.

Im tired.
Needa rest.
Nights.

Point noted

Going to have a long sleep.

Point noted.

Been there felt that, I know how it feels. I've not been sensitive bout it. But I'll make it right. I believe in what goes around comes around. Been too selfish lately, got to spare a thought. Insecurity risks are never an easy issue to handle. I know how that feels.

Deceived?

Apparently I still don't get it. Am I really that simple minded till the extend that I can't even tell if this person is good or bad. Im not talking about 1st impression. Maybe more like how much you understand this particular person.

To me, I only see skin deep that's all. I trust too easily. That's my downside. Till it literally slaps me in the face, then I will realise what I am facing. I don't feel any bad vibes seriously, but I do have my doubts.

Looks can be deceiving. I've heard this many times, still?..

What say you?.

First Hand Experience

It was close shave with death last night, but not close enough yet. Till the next time.
Off to prepare for work once again.

My weekends burnt once again. Lucky there's Vi today =)
I bought Ettu Sai's acne concealer, hope it can create miracle. $36! and 2 MANGO tank tops =)
love loves.
Seafood platter for 2 was a killer, I feel so bloated now.

Now they are calling out to me. Eh ah pui. zzz
Thanks so much for that mum and dad. IDIOTS.

Off to work`

Gullible.

Apparently, I trust people too easily till it backfires. How great can that be, it's like the saying goes " people farts and you Tarik ".

At least the tide is over.

Good nights.

Edited--

Preparing for work now, just take a look outside the window..Oh man.. I wanna sleep in too.. Nic is sleeping so soundly that she is snoring right now..Hahahs!! yeap she came over my place to meet up for a while. Oh God I dont really ask for much, but at least a decent load for today, Im so nervous once again. And apart from that, Im feeling sleepy!!!!!! zzz. =(

It never gave me the accomplished feeling. Like it's finally a dream come true!, to me it's just another shift job. Whinning Jo.

Alright, I guess I need to be a little positive, a little more positive. Im looking forward to today's flight and that letter Nic said she dropped into my mailbox. I wonder what it is =))) hehe. It's not a love letter from her, please dont misunderstand, it's from the office. Keke, I wonder and wonder.. =))

Off to prepare now..
Ciaoz`

Blink of an eye

Just with a blink of an eye, my leave is coming to an end. Tomorrow would be back to square one. WORK. Man, I feel as if my leave should have been a longer one, hais. Greedy me. At least it keeps my mind off stuffs, looking forward to Friday/Saturday. Okay maybe Sunday, cus Saturday would most prolly be a sleeping day. Or should I join after work? which is like past midnight?.I guess not. Let him be. Else I'm like a 24/7 glue that sticks to him everytime he books out.

Had another nightmare, this time it was me wanting to leave Mantianal. Holy crap. I can't remember why, but I was devastated in the dream, for reasons I don't know why.

I guess I'll just do some read ups, tomorrow would be my JCL SNY, like FINALLY they planned me a day. To Phuket.

I asked myself that question, and I dont know how to reply.
So dont bother asking me, I'll tell you the same thing that I told myself too.

Jo.

I dont understand

Why?. I thought this phase has long past me, and it wont come back for good. Why? why is it bumping against me again?, what have I done wrong again to be reminded of it once again?. Can't you just find someone else to talk to? Yes. If you have not known, PARANONIA is back.

I cant be bothered anymore. Seriously. Enough is enough.

Grief

So many unhappy events happening around me, till I'm suffocated. I need a breather. My mind has to stop thinking for a while. New problems added, I know I cant help everyone solve everything, but I guess it's my nature, Im simply concerned nosy about everything. Headaches been bad lately, I don't know why. Been popping painkillers, doesn't seem to be of much help. I need to relax..rest. This upcoming 5 days leave would be a breather for me. Hopefully I recover.

Headache is killing me.

Iron and broken nail

Woke up with bad headache this morning, thus I skipped driving. Hais.

This morning felt weird. I had difficulty waking up, as those something is surpressing me. Guess I was too tired, I'm not sure if it was a dream or im subconciously awake, but I remembered hearing noises coming from the living room, that's why I tried to wake up but it was so difficult. I tried shouting but to no avail. No voice came out even though I used all my might, it took me a while maybe a good 5-10 mins? Im not sure but I was struggling. I kept shouting, till finally I hear myself. I woke up both arms numbed, and my head felt heavy. Too tired I guess.

Met up with Nic for lunch at TM - Tori Q =) been a long time since I had that, and it's still good. The tenderness of the chicken and the pickles and the sauce for the rice. It all blended perfectly =) more KGS added. Slacked with Nic at level 4 gossiped and more gossips. hahas. Nothing better to do, we just go on and on, till it was bout 2 plus when she had to make a move. Proceeded to Courts on my own and bought the new iron, as the one at home gave way this morning. My nail broke half way and it hurts like hell. The acrylic came off, and now it's my own nails that's left, freaking ugly.

[ The one that gave way.. ]
[ Pink is the new love =) ]


[ Just look at that fugly nail. ]


A call that caught me offguard.

Thoughts

I wonder if I'm really sensible enough, reasonable and neutral enough?

Many past memories had been entering my head lately, how this happened how that happened, how I went overboard with it, how they treated me. So many flashbacks.. all jumbled up. Worried, sad, angry all filled up in me. Worried of what's happening around me, sad when I had no one to turn to, angry when people vent their anger on me. Many more. I still can't see what my future would be like. But enough is enough, many said my motivation lifespan is way too little, no self discipline on that. And I can see for myself if Im not working on my life, it's not going anywhere in the future.

I need to slap myself up. I've lead an aimless life and it's enough for me already. 20 years of having fun. It's time to buck up and work for something that I want in the future. My aim is simple, just to lead a well to do life. Well to do as in able to provide, to shop, to tour around once a while, my own home. Okay maybe I can stay with my family, just revamp the rooms will do. =)

Step by step I guess.
Nites.

If you just realise what I just realise...

Problems aside

Problems aside for now. I wish I have my own room, I've decided to take the study room as mine. I will start changing it during my leave. Which is coming very soon. 11 Oct-15 Oct.

Think ahead. Think for the future.

Long

It's been a while now since I last updated and I almost forget what was my password.
Many things have been happening lately and it's still ongoing.

My head has been hurting like mad lately.