study week

I've got my notepad, so I guess revision gonna start this week. Study khakis any out there?. I thought I was carrying the "why bother" attitude to lesson, which doesnt seem to be the case. Im quite affected by the assessment of my result. UGH! *Deep breaths..* More effort please!.

On a lighter note, I went on a little spree today for myself to cheer myself up =) I've cut my fringe and coloured my hair-ash brown. But I see nothing! lol!! what an idiot. Caught a little of crayon shin, cant stop laughing hahas!! irritating but cute!.

Super random thoughts in my head, Im gonna have a 2 weeks break from school after next week, woots! and hopefully get to rent car next month.. =) needa drive a bit, else Im losing my skills already.

Ciaoz for now~

Xoxo,

Jojo

Bullshit

I'll be freaking lying through my teeth if I said I was fine. I feel so imbalanced right now this instance. That image still couldn't get out of my head. I asked for it seriously. Months of suffering, maybe weeks, it aint that long either, have slipped away from me. I took so much effort to make myself forget, but within split seconds I stabbed straight back into my open wound once again. I aint Holy Mary. Worse of all, I cant cry it out. I cant even word vomit, why am I allowing all these to happen on me?. This virus attacks me only at night, and at such hours. I'm awake right now and I'm suppose to be preparing for flight.

Am I that weak?. I feel like screaming seriously, like using all that I've left in my black lungs, scream it all out. I wanna evict this "castle" in my head. Get it out of my system, I was so strong when I had my conversation with Cheryl, where have it gone to? I feel as though Im going crazy. How can I allow this to happen to me?

You're so happy with your life, after damaging one after the other. Sorry really doesnt work. Is this what Im suppose to learn Dear God up there? that it's my KARMA this has to happen to me?. I need an outlet, I dont know what's next on my mind that I wanna do.. it feels as though there's a split personality in me. I dont wish to hurt people around me, seeing me in this state.
I need to vent this evil feeling in me.

For those that has a weak heart and aint no game, please dont come near me, for the moment my heart has turned bad once again. It feels like vengence.. sounds so scary. But it's just words.
All in all, Im only good at whining..

Typing it out does helps to a certain extend I guess.. I feel slightly back to normal now.
I guess no one understands this, except myself, please pardon this pretty long entry, I just wish tonight will be last time I have such feelings. Once the sun comes up, I should FORGET about this bitter sweet nightmare.

A leopard will never change it's spots.

Im being bias right now, Im thinking only about MYSELF.

Taking NO MORE BULLSHITS AS OF 12.03.10 MARK ME!

bong!

A fulfilling day spent today. I followed the schedule I've planned, and it feels good. Something Im proud of =) cus I dont usually keep to my plans, due to unforseen circumstances.

Went over Van's place after flight with Aud to see the little princess Jaylene. =) A replica of Jayden I'll say, sleeping peacefully without worries, no sadness, .. I feel at ease when I see the young ones..after which I left for school. The journey there was tormenting. I need a mini pillow, I'll take it with me when I head for school..LOL!! I was leaning against the panel, and was side head banging all the way till Cityhall. So embarrassing balls... =( hiak hiak hiak .. I DONT CARE!!!

Everyone seems restless today, it was funny, as though I've not seen my classmates for a while,
I'm uttering nonsense, very sleepy already..

All in all, through all that had happened lately, I've learnt some stuffs, maybe grew from it..I just wish that people around me dont get nonsense treatments no more, let them lead it the way they want it happily.. life is short, stop being so petty, let bygones be bygones.. no point biting on to it, what's the point?.. I rather have a table of people filled with laughters and nonsense, when was the last time that ever happened?..

Good nights..

Ultimate

Literally torn into pieces. It's the second time.
Useless me.

Darkness prevails

Going to Hyderabad tonight, you monkey better not fly kite!

Was doing my summary for like 3 whole hours? and it's not even 500 words! omg. This makes me feel crappy, I could have done better! ugh. Bloody swine, now I got to relax, clear my mind, paint my nails and prepare for work. This feels so good. So occupied. Im gonna try the $10 massage at T2 one of these days..

Now I know what Teresa meant by it's uberly hair torturing.. I can feel my hair getting thinner each day.. where's my saving grace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOINK-ED.

Helipad

It was my first time over at Helipad last night. The ambience was good, relaxing. Scenery wise was filled with Clark Quay's colourful lightings that went on throughout the night. Thoughts ran through my mind. Had a glass of Lychee Mojito, first sip will be the sweetness of the lychee, followed by the minty lime after taste. It feels refreshing.

A month plus has passed, it just makes me wonder sometimes..

Busy

I've never felt this kinda feeling whereby I'll sit infront of the squarish emotionless monitor and typing on and on. This habit is starting to kick in, and Im getting the hang of it. One down, five more assignments to go. 2 weeks break doesn't seem so comforting for me no more. Submissions and more. I need more than 24hrs!
Besides assignments and work, I've not bought myself any decent CNY clothes! but Im not very bothered by it, not in the mood as well and $$ is running low. Crap.

Rest time up..
heading back to assignments.

Adios~
Jo

Far away

I'll be departing at 910am today to Kathmandu.

This vicious cycle still lives within me. A part of me concentrates on school and the other, lost. I thought I was able to handle it, but it keeps haunting me. I cant seem to focus. Bits and pieces kept recurring in my mind. I have to smile and maintain positive when Im outside . Can I turn around this time? can I hide away for a while?.

I dare not think of anything, I just kept myself busy, to make myself exhausted. I cant have silent moments like this. Im scared. Really. How long this has to go on?..

Have a great weekend.. =)

Stress

Coincidentally my English assignment is to create a flyer for students in SIM to teach them on how to relieve stress or release stress, when I havent come up with a method for myself to relieve stress. Yesterday was madness, I literally felt like jumping down with the Maths book man. geez~

Time literally slips away balls. Im no longer within grasp of my time management. Crazy. It's driving me up the roof. Having to juggle with work and school, I cant even spare a weekend this week to do my assignments with my group, it is definitely giving me a hard time. I can feel how equally anxious they are bout the projects and I've got long flts on weekends!! This is so terrible. With the holidays coming up real soon, I hope I'm able to fork out more time to meet my mates and storm the assignments!.

I need a maths tutor, please :(

Second week

It's my second week of school, so far not that good. LOL. But slowly able to catch up with the pace. Though Im not as experienced as my classmates that has the experience in their jobs easier for them to relate. Im definitely not saying that I wish to drop out now, not exactly. Unknowingly, it's coming 3 weeks since I fell. Slowly standing up. At least now I can touch the wound and clear it slowly. No more tears rolling.

My nonsense died down, more quiet now?, or Im still using mask around. It feels quite handicap sometimes, when I stare at my phone, it just doesnt react the same way anymore. I just feel that I should just turn it off since no one will call cept for rostering.. nah, not gonna blabber on anymore..

My Ipod died on me! forgot to charge. I'll listen to the commuters on the train today I guess..

Ciaoz~

Assume

Thought it can work out. Im just driving myself crazy. Endless crying has caused blur visions and it's getting irritating. I cant see clearly and my eyes are getting smaller each day.

Will be having lesson again today. Bought my necessary stuff for school, found my bag pack and bought my foolscap paper and files from Popular.

No one asking where am I, what's taking you so long, you only like to drag till late...etc. Kinda miss that. Hahas, I promise myself not to cry today. Enough of it already.

Hope you can make a decision soon. At least let me know something. Dont leave quietly.

Test of patience

Just when I've settled with school, Emirates is recruiting!! #$^#@$%
Yes, like what Aunt said, it's always something better planned for me. For a split moment I wanted to go for the interview and get out of here. That's stupid. I'll just stick to my studies since MI has approve my studies.

2 and 1/2 years aint that long. Must not let myself down, it aint easy getting the money for studies. Give me the strength, be it good times or bad.

New challenges

School has officially started yesterday. It's like information overload, but should be fine after reading it through again from the textbook I got from Ken. Thanks dude!. I feel the pressure on me. Lucky there's a primary school mate in my class! Im happy for that already. I've formed up my group members for projects and I've got 2 assignments on hand already. Will be heading to do some research on my assignments.

Never listen should never be in my dictionary again. Devastating.

JIAYOU to me!

so near yet so far

It's merely a day or two. I lost the confidence I had. Im dropping at an alarming speed to the bottomless pit. Im turning blind real soon from this. What am I thinking?. Please stop already. Why it hurts even more now?. I lost it. Losing myself.

water tap

I feel the intense sadness. It's getting to me quite badly right now. Give me the strength please. I dont want to break down.

Hungry

I was feeling too hungry when I woke up. I ransacked the fridge and found my birthday cakes!! yes not one or two but A FEW!! I was really hungry, couldn't help it and took the smallest box of it consisting of a slice of black forest and mango moose. I finished the black forest hoping it doesnt comes up with any reaction later in the day. I dare not touch the mango moose, it tasted a little weird so all in all my cakes are going to a waste, I threw it away. I've still got the chocolate cake and one more dunno what cake..omg. I guess they've all gone bad by now. =(

Im still hungry. UGH.

unique

Recently I was being introduced to this new milkshake store, " once upon a milkshake" it is SUPERB! super fattening but nice. LOL, I went back there again to get another try. hahaha. I wanna try more unique stuff in this small lil island of Singapore. But at the same time I've put on quite a lot weight. Damn depressing. How to fit my uniform like that!!! UGH!.

My leave is coming up, school is starting soon, money is running low and my tummy rumbles after every 2 hours!!!! WTF?! Im back to the original FAT JO. Mum has reinstated my name "Ah pui" again. %$#^#^$

Got to go prepare for work now..
Ciaoz

depress entry Day 1

im fat and depress now with full of pimple outbreak! #$@#%#^$ CRIES!!!!!

TODAY!

Had been going to STC for the past 2 days for my recurrent and Im glad everything is over. It was tiring but fun, especially the second day whereby you get to do more hands-on. Not much of batchgirls doing the recurrent together this year, only Ziana and Sarah. The rest are mixtures of CICs and other batches. But it was fun. =) and the coolest part of all, I get to have lunch together with my 2 uncles at STC!! hahahaha! one of them was having recurrent as well and the other was in office doing ground duties for a while.

The weather is so good this morning <3 I literally slept through the alarm. Guess I better go prepare soon and head down to SIM. Making my payments today. Orientation would be on the 18th which is like next week?. Cant wait man. =) Back to school. It feels good in a sense. Test of my endurance.

The weather is making me lazy. But nahh, not gonna waste my off day. Have a pleasant day people! =) Ciaoz!

minimum

Im really tired. It' my 3rd day today. I cant even wake up earlier to prepare. Look at the time now. I got to go bathe already. My eyes are shutting and my body is aching mad. SAVE ME! =(

Happy thoughts

Happy thoughts shall be my 2010 resolution. =) short and simple.

The closure of 2009. The grand finale. =)

Im glad 09 is going to be over soon. It was a mad roller coaster ride for me. Tough patches here and there. But Im glad, it's still considered a happy ending for everyone out there. There has been so much that went on the past few months, regrets, guilt, and lots more that words cant explain. I've lost quite a number of important things in my life from where I am now. Some stuff just couldnt be brought back again like my lost camera with my memories in it, and my Levis watch. Both which happens to be my 21st gift. I was devastated. Hurt. And plenty of other things that happened.

I've made selfish choices along the way which I know hurt plenty. I blame myself pretty much, it haunts me every now and then. Times when I gotta struggle with my conscience. Not that I've killed someone or something. It might be something small, but to me every little stone, setback gives me quite a massive attack. It took me quite some time to get over it, but Im really glad everyone is fine now. I see pretty much a happy ending.

This happy thought in me will last for a while Im sure. Im happy that people around me are happy. That there's no more grudges amongst the whole. It's the process of everything. And it's playing like a flashback in my mind as I sit here thinking of every single moment of 2009. Be it if Im still considered a friend of your's or not. I wish for peace and happiness for all of you out there!! \nn/

As long as people around me are happy, Im more than contented. The ride still has to continue.

Happy 2009 everyone.
Thank you people for entering my life.. <3

XOXO
JOjo =)

almost

My tooth is almost done now. Left the crowning part and it'll all be done. But Im kinda lazy to do the crowning. It'll cost me $XXX so Im considering delaying it. I've got better things to do than spending more than 1K on my freaking tooth. =(

Im starting my "mang ka li routine" very soon. I've got to start to be ngiao. Something I hate alot! UGH. But I've got no choice. I've got to do some sacrifices to save my ass. To save for my studies.

Im going back to my old survivor mode. Back to secondary school days. The way I spend money.

JIAYOU!!

xoxo
Jojo.

Sunshine

Little Ms Sunshine just brightens up my day. Watching her as she sleeps so soundly in my arms, nothing to fear. How I wish I could turn back into a baby myself once again..

Xoxo,

gotta prepare for work once again..oh ya! Avatar 3D RAWKS!!!!! \nn/

in a flash

Everything seem to happen in a flash. Im back from my Batam trip like so last week, and Christmas has just passed with now-it's boxing day. Many things happened in between, situations where I was left feeling stupid, and confuse.

It all happened on Christmas eve and early Christmas itself. My sister and myself attended the family gathering. Whereby there were tons of food, moutains of dessert. And I finally had a taste of the blue cheese. It gave a weird smell, which is difficult for people to have a liking for. But it was nice. Okay, it aint that perfect but it goes real well with wine. Had a few cups too much to drink, cus my uncle kept refilling. The second dosage of sparkling red wine, was kinda killer. Couldnt really hold wines that well. So I had my cut off limit for it. It was a silent killer. After gathering there for a good few hours, we left earlier as we've still got other programs on.

That's when my spasm neck started to give me some problem. It literally tilted to the left, freaking gave me a shock of my life. And I was suppose to meet Daryl for midnight mass. Imagine that scene, anyone who was with me, would have like died laughing at me. But no. Daryl was extremely pist. He felt that I was showing disrespect to his religion. C'mon it wasn't really on purpose. But yea, the night when horribly wrong. And I felt horribly guilty. It was all due to the drowsy effect I had from my food poisoning jab I had earlier in the morning. =(
Everything went haywired. It was a horrible scene, which I hope it will never happen in the near future. And Im definitely not showing any disrespect.

In the end, everything went picture perfect. And the whole incident became a joke for us to fall back on and laugh. GEEZ~ what a night I would say. Whereby I had to rush to the clinic at the airport like twice on the same day. GEEZ~ Damnit.

Christmas day was well spent. I had hell of a time laughing my lungs out. And I caught Cyril the magician on AXN. His moves are so great that I seriously salute to him. He's moves changes right in front of your eyes!. He can change a bowl of chicken noodles to Laksa and the stack of card to literally stick to the ceiling revealing only the card that you had in mind. Just simple illusion tricks caught me real fascinated. Geez~ =)

Received santa mail at 11plus. Slot beside the flower pot of my neighbour!! LOL!! wth. Thank you santa claus! =)

Alright enough bulls,
gotta go prepare for work alr..

Merry Christmas once again people! =)
Xoxo,
Joanne.

Dilemma

Im stuck in this situation whereby $$ is such a big issue. I guess this problem has been consistantly stucked with me. It gives me a bigger headache now.

Im in debts, SIM has accepted me and what else.. my bloody tooth cost me a bloody big bomb!. I need a bank loan. This is so shitty.

Another will be, Im tired already. I feel like leaving. But this shouldnt be what I should be thinking. I'lll be totally out of my mind for wanting to get out. Im stuck here. Been enjoying so much so that I've not saved a penny. And Im paying more shit these days. Im drowning in debts. I feel like seeing the dental and to ask them to just pluck out my tooth, forget bout the freaking root canal shit. I aint no rich mofo to spend on a tooth. I see a huge obstacle infront of me now. The letter in my hands.

What am I suppose to do?
Crazy.

Feels like the 21st!!

Updates of my birthday celebrations will come up real soon, for the mean time, I've got tons of Xmas stuff to do. Just wanna thank everyones wishes,gifts,presence,msges,Fb's..etc. MAN I FEEL SO LOVE!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!!

And a big thank you to Daryl for giving me an unforgetable 22nd that feels like 21st!!!! MAY I STAY AT 21ST ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA. =)

MANY THANKS I WANNA MAKE!!!

A VERY BIG THANK YOU TO:

My Haagen Dazs friends for celebrating my bday.

-Pei Fen

-Yiming

-Andy

-Xiao Kel

-Mw

-Cecilia

-Qiao Fen

My Ku & Mr Ong - for the mini celebration at Marche =)

-Ms Nicole goh for attending my celebration though you gotta work early the next day.

My SecSch BItches!!

-Shihui

-Peishi

-Yanlin

-Kenneth

-JiaHuang

-Willkie

-Josh

The Riders

-Nel

-Mark

-Cong

-Collin & Chantelle

B.O.S.S

-Joel

-Thierry

So many special thanks.. =)

And if I missed out your name, aint because I forgot bout it, it's cus I haven totally wake up while writing this.. =)

I seriously feel so love this December..really so many surprises that made me cried okay!!! this feels more like my 21st than last year!!!!

For the first time I felt your effort so greatly. Im really touched, it feels so sweet. Thank you so much Daryl. =)

Sunny little island

In another mere 5hours we got to bid goodbye to tis small little island. First day was hell for me when there was so many bites all over me given by e blood sucking mosquitoes of Batam..the weather varies like Sg rains and at times extremely hot weather..and today,our small little hut that we're staying had a little electricity trip. Lol! We've experienced almost everything..even candlelight dinner was accompanied by fireworks! I'm lucky or wad? Hahas..okay e electricity man has fixed e prob out fer breakfast and tanning soon :)

non-stop crying

Went out with Nic today. She gave me a call bout 11 plus in the mornin when Im still in a half awake mood and said something like " meet you 1.30pm in town.." I was like HUH!! HAHAHA

GOt ready and headed out.
Her bf came nt long after and we proceeded to Marche. Nic killed me as well, appeared with a slice of chocolate cake, and a Coach wristlet!!! bloody hell, once again my tears rolled. DAMNIT!!! stop pulling stunts on me already!!! I cant take it I have a weak heart man..

Thankew so much Nic. Thankew for the contribution as well Keke Tan! hahaha.
Im really touched man, damnit. =)

Omg...
FAINTING ALR.......

Touched to tears

It's been so long since I felt this way, I was never such an all out friend that deserved such gift from the HD fellas. I literally burst into tears. LITERALLY. MAN I CRIED CUS I WAS TOUCHED. MY GAWD.. It's been so long since I felt this way.. I CRIED!!!!!

They got me a 16GB Ipod Nano! in GREEN!! <3
man, I wanna faint when I saw the gift. And nonetheless, before getting the gift I had 2 other boxes to choose first. It was a pair of BIG EARS and plenty of colourful hair extensions, pictures should be up soon I guess waiting for Andy and fEn to upload.

And I LOVE THE MANGO MOOSE CAKE! NICEEee =) sweet enough to kill me <3
Thankew so much people..

Special thanks to :

-Pei Fen
-Andy
-Yiming
-Kelvin
-Ming Wei
-Qiao Fen
-Cecilia

THANKEW SO MUCH!! OMG. (:

Panda with Red Nails

BLEAH...I feel so blah right now.. Nails ar nails faster dry ar..

Pineapple Tarts!!

I've got pineapple tart cravings!!. I've got myself hooked onto it since my sissy bought it back from Taiwan last year, my cravings for it never ceased! whenever I see any malls having those Taiwan fairs, I'll never fail to search for the pineapple tarts. Lately Tampines One is having it and I've already bought 2 boxes!! hahas, more to come I guess since I've finished those already. Currently muching on the mango tart. HAHAHAHA Im feasting like crazy. Really turning into a bum, since the bet was called off by the organiser HIMSELF!! HAHAHAHA! U SUCK LA CONG! hahaha.

Alrights, gotta go lie down on the sofa a little preparing for work soon!

*I just cut my own fringe, and it looks so freaking THICK!. Geez~

second session

Today ( 07.12.09 )

The root canal treatment for my second session today went smoothly. There wasnt much pain and it made my ache go away. =)

Was out with Fen and Ym to Summer Breeze. Love the view and ambience there. It made me felt peaceful and calm, as though my troubles were chased away by the sea breeze. It felt good. Just laughters and positive people. I'm glad I've met them in my life and still will!. =)

Nothing beats good company and laughter to clear your troubles.

Thank you people that cheer me up =)
you know who you fellas are!

Bad bad month

This December, seem to be so gloomy. Bad things kept happening, Im trying my best to remain optimistic. The toothache is going on and off so badly these days, that fever never fails to attack me in the night. Kinda tired of it. I got to rely so much on the painkillers.

Unlucky encounters:
-UOB card got retained in the cash deposit machine together with my money..
-Camera stolen
-Bad toothache and wisdom tooths
-Arguments
-Ulcers on my tongue
-Aud's phone stolen while she was studying below her block with Jas..

I didnt heed advise to save for the inevitable. And now I suffer. Karma back to me all at once?.
I guess so.

I woke up and felt that my right side is swollen. The toothache is killing me. My surgery for the tooth will take place on the 14th. Hopefully the cost doesnt kill me, or there isnt other complications or whatsoever. How to save for this freaking December, I hope it can change for the better soon.

Great grandmother was admitted into CGH last night. She had high fever, mum said she cant communicate anymore, she can only stare at you. She is very ill already. Waiting for mum to let me know when we can visit her.

Please..not now....

Ulcers

I have like 4 ulcers on my tongue now. Feels so good. Cant even chew on my food properly. UGH. This is so irritating! =(

Congratulations to Adelina <3
Baby girl!! =)) A saggitarius baby like me! hahaha.

Finally watched 2012, man I cried like so many times, and people can still make fun of me..zZz cant I be an emotional wreck for movies?..

Gotta go prepare now..
Ciaoz!!

I wish

I really hate myself. Utterly disgusted by myself. With how Im handling with stuffs lately. This one got me bad. Made me cry like a child. I lost my camera. Which happens to be my 21st gift. It's not even a year old, and I've lost it. How I wish someone did prank me or something. Yes say whatever you like. Be it childish or whatsoever. I have plenty of memories inside there. All gone with the wind. GONE! =( and I never realise it till now. It might have been lost a few days already and I didnt realise it. I dont wanna suspect people, it's not a good thing to do. Im really upset. Seriously.. where did I lost my camera. =(

"It's only a camera, why must cry over it..."
Please.. seriously.
Use your brain before you speak to me.. it got me bad. Real bad.

Aching Mad

Doc gave me bad news, I have so many problems with my tooths!.. First I need to get a root canal done, then extract wisdom tooths, followed by filling.. OMG. $$ drop from sky? how do I spit this huge sum of $$!! I have to force myself to eat proper food.. it's really making me lose my appetite. This feels so shitty. My right side feels numb now, and Im running a tempreture. How great is that. UGH!

Can someone just punch me already.,!!

FINALLY

Finally a slot for me at 2pm for dental later. Im having butterflies in my tummy. This tooth gotta go, and there after.. =( I cant laugh like how I use to anymore. Cus I'll be "BO-GAY!!" =( and it so happens that it's gonna be a position whereby once I open my mouth it'll be so obvious that there is one big hole. UGH! Gotta quit my addictions already. No more sweets for me. =(

Gotta go prepare now. Ciaoz~

Toothache

This toothache is getting me so tempremental. Feel like using a hammer to knock it out. The panadol extra aint working!!! =(

Why am I being ignored?.
Stabbed.

Good news?... not.

21.11.09 10:30pm

For the first time in my life, my atm card got retained in the machine! and best of all, it was at the cash deposit machine. =( My $$ and card gone. I've got to make a new card, and apparently it was my UOB NOW card. I can no longer get a replacement for that debit card cus they've got a new kind. My favourite red card. =( eitherways, Im only able to head down to the bank on Monday. Though Im not really bothered bout it anymore.. there's nothing I can do about it anyways. But for that instance when my card got retained. I was petrified! I almost broke into tears. Luckily Nic was with me. Imagine if that happens when Im alone. What will I do? I bet people reading this will come up with all kinds of reason and definitely be laughing at me. So mean. LOL.

Edited-22.11.09 2:43am

Literally bored to tears. Im suppose to be sleeping right now but Im WIDE AWAKE.
I've officially owned the titled- Facebook addict. What a life!
Cant wait for 2009 to come to an end. Looking back at my resolutions, which I dont really dare to check back. Random thoughts started sipping in..if I were ever to leave, will I be able to find someplace better? December is coming along real soon. Holidays, Christmas, work.. and more work. 2010.. ...... .... ..

2010 has plenty of stuffs planned ahead. Am I really prepared for it?. Though I feel nothing of it now. But when it does approaches. What will I do?. How to overcome it?. Will it drift away. Do I really bother about it?. I feel too comfortable now that it actually scares me. It feels so stagnant.

Will you still be the same?

town

Heading to town for physio today. Appointment at 2pm. Doc gave me a shock, cus at first he msged me and said that it was at 1pm when the time now is like 12:57pm?

The sun is finally out today or should I say it's finally my off day today. Guess I'll just head for physio then there after do some shopping to stock up for my midnight cravings. Last night was bad, I couldnt find food and I've no mood for Macs. I drank only a campbell soup and a bar of Hershey's chocolate.

Alright enough of crap. Gotta prepare already. PHYSIO!. Hopefully this is the last session.

Weird.

Pathetic

Sitting on e bloody floor. Air-con blowing straight at me. Thanks.

Op

Finally Coco has done her operation. That lump on her forehead is gone, but left with an ugly stitch and she has done her abdominal surgery as well. 2 ops on the same day. =(

When I got home last night, mum said she just manage to lie down, so I went to look at her, she was shivering badly, as though in pain. =( And she turned around as if to show me her stitches. Mum was real shocked, cus they didnt manage to see her stitches. The stitch was done nicely. Woke up this morning to check on her, she's lying down even though I walked into the kitchen. Doctor said she needs plenty of rest. =(

Aunt did a research and said that soya is bad for dogs, so we're changing her food to white fish. =)

Faster recover.

Second Attempt

I tried curling my hair again today, this time around it lasted for the whole day =)
sort of accomplishment?. LOL. And because of this I was late for my physio like 1 hour. zzz




After physio, I went Ion to walk around and happened to see S.H.E!! LOL. I was once a big fan of them.. LOL!!

Jia Hao Yue Yuan

Finally finished watching this heart warming show. =)

cloudy

The sky looks real dark outside and I needa head out soon. Meeting Nic for lunch and there after for my physio again.

Rainy day.
Where is the sun hiding?

2010

YOU

I hope you make the decision that's best for yourself which you wont come to regret in the near future. No one decides your future except yourself. I believe my emotions got the better of me today. It takes lots of self discipline to be able to control what I wanna think about.. but apparently it went kinda off today.

Physio was okay, my back doesnt hurt that much after today's physio. Nic has been so sweet to company me down for my 2 physios.. I've another session tomorrow and I'll be headin back to work on Saturday. Some thoughts just went through my mind. Maybe that explains why Im kinda down today. Am I ready to change vocation?..change my life..

How well do I adapt to changes?..

Can I take another heartache?..

Can I still remain as cheerful as ever?..

xoxo

Jo.

scared

Im scared. It feels even worse after physio. I can feel that it's painful than usual. And my legs feels numb easily.. I really hope it's only a strain..

Eating Habits

This should be 1 week of me abstaining from the nicotine and have been munching like mad eversince. I was surprised that I actually stopped myself from taking any. =)

But I get hungry easily from time to time. Like now, Im extremely hungry it's growling like mad. UGH. Might get BK or something when I reach later.

Alright Im gonna book for physio tomorrow. Hopefully there's slots for me. My back cant take it anymore. UGH crap.

GTG.
Xoxo.

=)

no matter how little time spent, how seldom we meet.. we're always there..

Laughing is contagious

It's been a while since secondary school girls met up. Went for dinner at the Taiwanese cha chan ting at Citilink. Thought of giving it a second chance. This time around I tried the coffin toast with the same pearl milk tea. The toast doesnt taste that bad, but the "cream" like kinda chowder form is a little "mua/gelak" after a few mouths.

There after was parkway for a supposedly " Cotton on megastore" last minute shopping, but was under renovation. Popped by Joycelyn's company, and down to Mustafa with Sh's bf and their friends. We laughed so hard, till my stomach hurts. It feels like good old days, especially when sh is there. Though it sounds disgusting, but her nonsense never fails to brighten up people's day. =) I bet Joycelyn had fun too! =) those monkeys that didnt turn up, you ladies missed the fun!!!!

Have fun at BKK tomorrow Ms Heng!! =)


Oyasumi..
xoxo.

2 days

Doc gave me 2 days of mc to rest my back, she wanted to give me 3 days but I refused considering that I've took like 3 mc's this month. I've done the xray but yet to book an appointment for the physio.

Sad

As I'm with this company longer, there seem to be this bond that grows with me each day. Though there were rantings and all, the whinings, the laughters, the VRs, the caterers, people that's working with you. I realise I grew fonder of going to work. Though I have those lull periods.

I'm affected especially when people that I enjoy working with left the company. I wont press them for the reason, just wish them all the best and hopefully they remember the nonsense Jo that worked with them before. Gonna miss you babe! Take Care!

accident once again

I'm seriously accident prone. =(
My palm got pierced by the bloody safety pin thingy. Dont know the exact word to describe it. BLOODY SWELLED!!! =(

gonna see the doctor tomorrow.. boo! =(

Twist

It was a turn of event. It wasnt as bad as I thought it would had been. Instead it was enjoyable and fun =)

Been getting lots of bruises around my arm and leg areas, unknowingly. Can't seem to get these bruises away from me. Today it got worse, must be due to the cabin air, too drying. Thus causing some slight peeling and bleeding on my right hand. Uglified. =( It's depressing to see so many scars on myself. Clumsy!!
















Bought the big tin of Redondo Wafer sticks ;) it consists of 3 flavours; Choc, Vanilla and Choc Mint. I'm gonna give daddy the choc mint because it's not nice..HAHAHAHA!!! wanted to get just the vanilla only since it's on sale but cant find it so might as well just get that combo tin.









FOOD.FOOD.FOOD.

I'm dying to do something to my hair, after the failed attempt of getting my hair coloured, I've thought of waving my hair or maybe cut it short like Sonia! together with my sis..HAHAHA!! I need someone to die together with me..HAHAHA!! all these are just my random thoughts cus I cant manage my long hair, and it looks so dull on me..

gotta go now..

xoxo

Freaky Sunday

I thought it wasn't gonna take long, but I'm so darn wrong!. But I'm not going to backout. I've promised to go. Hope this positive feelings stays inside me long enough.

December is nearing.. got to reach my aim!. Dont wish to see flying punches to my face balls! be it literally or not..

RANDOM!.

Nights.. ;)

Nightmare

Woke up rudely by a nightmare. Dreamt that we're hit by Earthquake too, and it was in freaking bad condition. Everywhere was in a mess and I woke up groggly. Damnit. Look at the freaking time!! I'm off!!! yet I wake up as though I've got flight!! =( Mum thought I had flight. zZz

WARNING!

It's best that you give yourself at least 2 days of off before you burn your tongue and stomach with the " Buffalo Wings ". Bloody hell, my tummy is having a royal rumble, not sure if it's due to the wings or is it cus the fan was blowing directly at my tummy the whole night..

SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

not going to torture myself anymore. I'm in pain!! ahhhhhhhh!!! :(

Pictorial mode..

Finally found the bloody buffalo wings.. LEVEL #7!!! Set the tongues wagging alr!!




















Still gotta head back there to submit some documents that I've missed out.. =(

GOOD NIGHTS!!!!!! =)

Stiff back

" Have you done any strenuous exercise lately? " with those cheeky looks..LOL!! that question came so abruptly that I almost burst out laughing. What a humourous doc.. Yes my back got worse, gave me stronger dosage of medication to cure it. And a vitamin.. Im full of illness.

This aching back is seriously getting on my nerves, Im going to the sinseh no matter what!. Lazing the whole day, the new sofa feels so comfortable, I can just sleep there, it can be my new bedroom.

My digital camera charger is lost. Im freaking sad about it. =( Will be heading to challenger later to see if I can get a third party charger or something. So crappy.

Be back to rant later, mooncake show starting!!! ;)



--Edited_ @ 5:45pm


Im back, gonna prepare now and off I go to the sinseh. Hmm, kinda scared though. Alone okay! Very lazy. =P
Finally found my camera charger, it's in Dad's drawer!!! how silly!! hahas.


See ya!

Drving

I hate driving seriously. It became a phobia to me.
I know you meant well, you got to be harsh on me so I'll learnt. Instead of making you feel that I understand the importance of safety, it made you feel otherwise. 1st day back and these happens.


All I wanted was just happiness, laughter. Not reminding me of the "long time ago".....

Drving is always an obstacle between us.
I hate myself all over again. And I'm hurt as well.
I know you meant well, how many times have I told you as well to try to be more patient to me and dont shout?. Tell me a few times patiently, I just need you to be a little more...patient.

My heart is aching.
badly.

Bored like hell!

ROAR!!

Randomness

I've finally slept for a whole 10hours!! woots~ =) It feels so good.

What a lazy afternoon, what should I do today, since I'll definately be called up tomorrow for flight. Hmmm..

Some random shit happened yesterday, met Nic after I've seen the doc. Have an aching back recently, doc said was cus of my posture. It's slightly aching as Im typing away. Kind of lazy to go to the sinseh which is only 4 bus-stops away. Bought my favourite pineapple tart at Isetan yesterday, like it lots! :) though there's only 8 packets in that big box. Afterwhich to the KTV at Serangoon Gardens. Drama mama part happened. While I was alighting from the cab, there was another vehicle at the back sounding it's horn. So we were kinda rushing out. Jumped out of the cab as soon as possible and happily slammed the door assuming Nic had alighted from the other side.."BAM! the door slammed straight into her.." The moment she came out of the cab, she was laughing and laughing, the next moment tears trickle down. " WTF!! sorry!! is it painful??!!" and her bloody reply was.."it's not painful I'm crying cus I was shocked, and it's so funny!!" wtf right.. this SHA DA JIE!! Omg..
Then followed by the heartless fella who finally called after like 5days later..and the joker can still joke with me. I cried a river balls..LOL. Thanks ar Daryl.

I wanna watch "The Ugly Truth" and " Inglorious Basterds".
I'll never forget "The Proposal". The funny incident that happened.

Can someone plan an outing soon?!! Im rotting.

Im tired of life's struggle that permeates my life constantly.

Can I?

I felt better after the encouragements from those I've least expected. It was funny, sitting in front of the monitor and laughing away. Those were the days..

Can I get back those days, when nothing bothers me. Just enjoying all the time spent with friends, family, Dar.. this small little stone seems to be stucked to me. It made me stop in my track.

I needa get some laughing gas need it badly.

Town

Will be heading town later to do my nails. Apart from that, nothing else. AHHHh crap.
Tummy feels like crap now, it's the 4th time Im heading to the toilet. UGH!. No programs for today as well. Daryl will be going out with his friends for bingo night. And I forgotten about it! geez~

Not whinning or anything. Just nothing to say. Guess I'll just walk around in town hmm, maybe I'll bring a book with me, just chillout at starbucks or something and just read away...

gonna prepare now..

speechless.

literally.

This aint consequences that any of us will do.

Who really understands me?.

I just lost 2.

Dark Circles

My eyes looks as dead as a fish's eye. And surrounding it are dark dark circles. =( Insomnia is the result of it all. I feel like shit.

It's finally my 3rd day for today, cant wait for tomorrow.

Had a dream recently, that got me to open up my diary to read through. Warm tears trickle down as I flip through. Just rewinding, nothing else. It's like reading a novel, in Singapore's well-known "singlish" writings. There were so many grammar mistakes,those days; when I tried to indicate a "." after every word. Those were just early phases of my life, times when I was in my world, the "lala" lands. HAHAS!!

This world is full of unexpected changes, that sometimes it scares us or should I say ME to be exact. I feel disappointed that I cant stand firm on my grounds. Whatever that I say. I contradicts myself. Easily being stepped on, knocked down. But when I try to. I got overboard and people shun away from me.

UGH, just pms-ing again.

Shall open that longan bought from prime. Haha!

No surprise

Yeap, woke up by Daughtry's-No surprise. Im called up for a long flight ( Lombok ). Regretted not calling in earlier to report sick, I still feel the shivers and irritating cold sweat. But I've got no choice hopefully I'm functional today.

Feeling kind of hungry right now, but dont seem to have the appetite to eat anything not even the Redondo-Vanilla wafer sticks that never fails to keep me munching. :( this is so irritating. Will be back only about 10 tonight. Wonder if there's anything I'm able to get at Lombok?..hmm.

I guess I better go rest a while more before I prepare for work.

Ciaoz.

down

Eventually Im on MC for today but tomorrow standby. I cant sleep!! that's the irritating part! I cant fall asleep.. =(
I feel as though Im floating when I walk and my head weighs more than a ton. This is unbearable. SO IRRITATING!!!!

I've gulped down like 2litres of water already. I feel so bloated and green. LOL.

Nights.

SICK =(

Im seeing stars, Im running a temperature. This feels like shit.

simple minded?

What have I done?.

It's crumbling me inside.
Why things got to be so complicated?.
I dont wanna choose sides.

Everything I had, is slipping away..

Just merely a week, so much had happened.

" There are things we can't see eye to eye with, things that are of different perspectives. Maybe it's just a mere week, I sensed a whole different feeling all over."

stucked.

Judgemental

As much as I tried not to be one. I failed. I was judging.
Someone made me realise it while working today. I realise I fumbled, blurred out. Total knockout when I was working. Reason being.. " cus you've heard too much and judged, before you gave it a chance..". I was guilty of it. It got me so nervous and everything, I kept reminding myself to be precise in my service and all, but it made it all worse because I was too concentrated on my performance, I didnt wanted to be picked on. When everything tenses up, everything I did screwed up. Given the benefit of the doubt, I would have been killed on the spot but I faced it.

Aint gonna make this blunder again.
Aint judging no more. Just treating people the way, I want people to treat me back.

I've faced my fears.

Bad weather

Though it has been wonderful nights for everyone. People that have got to work above land, 30 000 feet above at night got to go through bad turbulence. I've had my fair share and it was rather bad last night. Do take care people!

My head feels very heavy right now. Fever is on it's way.

I see red skies, lightings and thunder right now. It's gonna last for the whole of 7th month.. pros can cons.. hais.

Borrowed my sister's Renoir for a day tomorrow. hehe :) hope it kills my temptations.
Got to get rest now.

Good nights.
=) Jojo.

ooohh chilly morning.

Good morning people! this is absolutely due to the new games in the DS that made me wake up so early in the morning. Im having an evening flight later so yea. Got to reach briefing room only like 7:30pm? it's an overnight flight, will be back only the early morning of tomorrow. Hopefully by then, my emails have been replied!, I've been waiting and waiting for the reply, it got me so impatient seriously.

I want a change of phone. I want LG Renoir. =( yes, this IS base on impulse. Therefore I'm waiting to see if this temptation is gonna die off any time soon. Hopefully by this week, else Im gonna get it. I'm trying to quit this habit of changing phone so regularly. I dont remember any phone that stick to me more than a year. That was the past I hope and that Im able to stick to this for a longer period even if problems had surfaced. It was due to my own carelessness. I've forgotten to turn off my phone onboard for the 3rd time this month, and everything is going haywired. It either stays in a particular page for a long period of time or everything appears in reverse dual screen.

Another news has been heard. Though it doesnt really affect me, it just make me feel that 2009 isn't a great year for all. Like literally. It's been affecting me in a way or another, but Im trying my best to remain positive. I believe you should too. I pray that everything will go smoothly for you.

Back to my ds..

unexpected.

Life has many unexpected changes.

Please pull through..

problem stacko

YES!. Tons of problems.

Grandpa is in hospital now. But I wont be able to visit him. Due to the H1N1 and what nots. My name is not reflected on the visitors list. So I wont be able to visit. So now hospitals restrict the amount of visitors visiting patients.
He had a fall, his hand was badly scalded. He fell in the toilet, scalded himself while he tried to grab hold of something. Mum said he was crying badly when she went to visit. He couldnt make out his words, mum said was kinda slurring and he has to see a speech therapist. I hope it's not stroke again. The new place doesnt seem "clean". Hope you get well soon grandpa.

I just dont know how to bring myself to face you.
It's just something that can never be erased from my heart.

understand?

I just need a listening ear/ a shoulder to lean on.

3rd Day

It's my 3rd day of work today, going to get prepared for work after this entry.

Went over to Adelina's wedding last night after my flight, all the way at Woodlands okay. Hahas, rushed down after work. The freaking cab cost me a bomb! could have bought a top with that money! lol. It cost me about $35! cus the taxi driver aint familiar with Woodlands as well. Geez~

Ade looked real pretty in her white kebaya. It's been extremely long since I last met her. She's still the same, still as crappy. LOL!! Missed her so much, so much to catch up. Hopefully I'll be able to meet her while she's back at Pasir Ris. So happy for her. Congratulations girl =) Joc was there as well, I miss playing vball with them. Time flies, we're all 22 and moving on.




















My bond is coming to an end real soon, I got to decide now. =(
Feeling so hungry right now. Today will be off to Lombok back only bout 10 tonight hopefully earlier =P

I had so much on my head to think for these past few days, happy ones, sad ones, basically I'm in a dilemma now. Work is definately important for me at this point in time. Studies got to come along. I need that but I lack the capital. UGH, crap. Hadn't the time to talk to Daryl, since most of the time we clash, as in I come back from work; tired, or maybe he's asleep and all, so didnt have the time to talk about my studies. HUM BIN!!!!! ~

got to go.
Jojo.

Blue

I woke up feeling refreshed as though the storm is over. Looking out of my window, looking up onto the clear blue sky as I leaned back and have a good stretch, this feels good. My own space. I love this kind of afternoon and the flow of wind that sweeps past my face as I lay down on my sofa, a moment of serenity. I love this =)

Im not alone

I'm leaving tonight once again for another overnight, will be back tmr morning. I hope tonight will be a smooth one. No troubles for any of us. Imagining what's gonna happen later tonight freaks me out. But I've got go through it, to overcome my fears. To do it once and do it right. To proof myself wrong.



Woke up early this morning despite sleeping only at 5am just to watch the news about the solar eclispe thingy. It might sound a little dumb to some people, but in a way Im more or less very interested in such phenomenon. It would have been the greatest gift for me if I were in India,Japan or China to watch this spectacular event which will never happen in our lifetime till another 100 odd plus years later?. I wonder if they have the meteor rain thingy happening ever again?, since I stupidly missed it back then when I was like Sec 2? cant really remember but I know I was at Pasir Ris Park, hoping so badly to see it, but it started raining thus I headed back home. I only managed to see one shooting star when I gaze up at my window before I slept that night. When my friend actually called and told me she saw the whole astonishing moment right outside her balcony. Like wth....oh well.



Im invited to go back to HSC to play vball tomorrow, but it's during the boys training. Which I dont feel comfortable with. Unless I can find khakis to go with me tomorrow.. any takers?, any itchy backsides feel like playing vball tomorrow?, msg me!! I'll try to reply asap once I've touchdown tomorrow. It'll be about noon time around 3 plus?..will see about that. I just miss playing vball. It brings back lots of funny memories.



Off for my power nap now.

ciaoz.

Survivor hardcore.

Try going for an overnight with a mere 3 hours rest. HIOUGHZ to the MAX!.
Freaking bulls wasnt helping. I was like a souless fella walking in the cabin, plus the peeling from the sunburnt aint helping much, I had to freaking spray the moisture surge thingy on my face like thousand and one times when I looked at myself in the mirror, it looks as though there were saliva stains all around my mouth. Imagine that. Yucks to the core. And I had to touch up like thousand and one times. So all in all it was thousand and one to the power of ten balls. Yeap, Im yeak-ke-dy-del-dy with all the what nots. Hahahha. Literally TOH!

I panic for like 5 mins outside my house just now. Fearing that my keys wasnt with me. For a moment I really wished Coco could open the door for me. LOL!. I had to like fumble with my bag to find the keys. I was on the verge of tears balls. The thought of sleeping outside my house was like so gonna happen. IMAGINE THAT!!! LOL. CRISPY TO THE MAX!!!

This is my most HARDCORE ever time taken awake balls.
The cold water is calling out to me now, ciaoz!

Who stole the cookie jar?..

Step down for 4 days

Received a msg from my cabin crew manager after my flight yesterday that, I've got to be taken off from my flights until the 7th of July. I was extremely happy at first cus Im more of a slacker. =X but then again, the sad part came. I've got to stay home to rest and avoid going out to crowded places. So yea, my weekends are still burnt. Worse of all, I cant meet people, as I've got to be responsible on my part. In case anything were to happen to me, at least I was responsible enough to keep away.

Daryl was real sweet this afternoon, he surprised me with a box of duck rice for my lunch =) when I was actually angry with him for not calling me or even leave me a msg. He didnt came into my house, just passed me my meals and left for home. I cried. It was his thoughts that touched me. Thankew so much sweets =)

I guess I'll be blogging quite frequently these days. Maybe I'll just slack today, then maybe tmr or something I'll start clearing my stuff, sorting out my cupboards and all. Or maybe do some online shopping, hahas.

I need a proper holiday. =(

Sometimes it's just a thin line.
Sometimes the tension is so strong, but when I tried to bring it back it let go.
Now it's back to the past.


Priorities fails.

My all time favourite. [ You are not alone ]

Rest in peace.

Sweet Bitterness.

Firstly Happy Birthday to my baby sister JOLEEN TAN HWEE SAN, finally her sweet 16th birthday. Sadly, it's also my 1st day of work after 1 week of leave. I feel so half hearted suddenly.

It's been a long time since Im talking to my sister on our bed, side by side. Been missing out quite a bit, but I've caught up with her. =) It feels good, like someone you're really comfortable with to relate everything ...cus we're blood sisters. Like DUH~
Im glad the bond is still as strong as ever. Feeling a little emotional right here right now.

Although people admires my family, I feel that it's all surface. Yes, there's time when I really felt the warmth, but lately, I guess cus of my absence from home, it felt cold. I love my family alot I really do, but can you believe it?, it's the hardest to express your feelings to them. Especially me. I'm a very emotional fella these days. When I talked to my sister, my tears just literally rolled down.

[FAMILY= Father and Mother I love you. ]

This is freaking corny I know, but it's really what Im feeling. Although there were times when I got irritated, times when I just wanna scream my lungs out. But the thought of them, when they get older and when they have to leave us one day. Im scared. Really.

Sometimes some stuffs are really too late, though I always encourage people to do something for their family, dont neglect and all....

Apparently, I'm the one that lacks the courage to shower my love to my family. Because we have neglected it for so long, that it became so foreign to me, that I feel so uncomfortable. Like we're strangers living under the same roof, I miss the times when I just sat down with my family watching some nonsense show on the tv, and laughing it out.I miss that warmth.

There's so much more to say, but nah.
Every family has their little secrets. This is something I need to overcome and put in more effort.


I love my family.



People, please dont neglect your family members because they are the ones that sticks to you till the end.

Dont misunderstand me. I dont hate any of you.

Moment

For a moment I just felt like giving up everything. This is crappy.
What means the most now?, what is it that is causing me to falter. When some stuff diminishes.

I need that holiday so freaking soon.

Understand me please..

Thinking cap

Been a down period lately, like a landslide that came so abruptly, that there's no escape. It has covered up everything. Life brings many unpredictable changes, how have you managed? Is it suffocating you already?, has everything bottled up till it's brim already?..

Hang on, this tidal wave is gonna die down soon. For the meantime, hold on tight.

Im having a whirlwind inside me now, and Im so tired now, yawning away. Hahas.

Good nites people =)
Xoxo,
Jojo.

* A tiny wish for everyones trouble to slowly fade away, and that the happiness could be felt again..




Chuck Norris doesnt sleeps, he waits.

Heartfelt condolence

As more bodies were found, my heart sank, been reading about the news, hoping for a miracle. It was a devastating news. Since the day it went missing till the sightings of debris of the plane, till bodies now found. No matter how slim the chances are, I hope the people that manage to survive held on. When the report came out that there were babies on board. It killed me.

Imagine a full flight, filled with happy holiday goers.. geez.

I WANT!!

There were so many I wants when I headed to town today.

The list goes on. Be it mentally noted or spoken out loud.

-MacBook Air
-Addidas Jacket
-New Bag!!
-Slippers
-Fred Perry shoes
-PSP!!!!!!!!! ( Can someone just give it to me please, best in Ver.2000 )
-A good tan
-Slimming machine ( unrealistic) freaking ex.
-Tour around Europe.

My mental notes for GSS.
It's too wth.. I doubt any would be accomplished.

I'M FREAKING BROKE!!!!!!!!!!!! =(


Kimgary is my new love! <3

PS: Thankew lazybones for bringing my stuffs over to my place ;)
hahaha.

Low

Down period. The red alert is getting nearer. Affecting so many stuff, was all positive when I was at work today although I was tired. I was extremely polite. And was even complimented on my good service. =) reason being, Im off as of today!! 04/06/2009. HAHAS. =))

Had an arguement after my flight, now Im in a more stable state, time for my brains to process, but apparently, Im physically tired. Exhausted, I'll think about it after my good night's rest. Met up with the usuals for a while, my ku partner has finally passed her FTT =))) CONGRATULATIONS!! =) her 1st attempt. Now Im waiting for her to drive me around! hahas. Dont worry, Im very patient. HAHAHA.

I hope it rains heavily tonight, so that I get to sleep peacefully. =) Currently Im wide awake cus I've just bathed in cold water. The freaking weather is driving me NUTS.

Im cutting down on sweets and chocolate for the time being. LIM BEI TOOTHACHE IS BACK!!! %#@%!^$ hahaha. And my bloody big sweep TIO JIA!!!! =( damnit. No luck siol.

Enough said,
I'm gonna turn in soon..

I will overcome my weakness.

Sweet memories

It's good to know that no one is forgotten or left behind..

The kitchen madness..











I chose the consequences. Feel the pain.

SINFUL!!!!

This sinful little thing made me gained 2kg!! =( Feaking disappointed. So much for a strict diet, Im still a sucker for chocolates eventually.






Cherish whatever you have..

another day

It feels apart. When did it felt like that.
Losing it.

Lazy Saturday

It's a lazy Saturday for me, no call ups =)
Im gonna take a nap now, ate loads of nonsense in the morning, and it feels horrible. FAT ALERT! Too much sweet indulgence lately, so much so that, it's gone beyond limits. Daily dosage of chocolates. Makes me a happy person and the extra calories!!!!

It feels good to be able to cheer friends up =)

Nap time!!

sometimes

I feel so exhausted though I've slept like half a day away. I feel so SICK. My throat is killing, my headache is pounding, my heart is fuming and my nails are chipped. Ha! that's random.
Weekends are here and it feels like crap. I wonder what else is there to be said. Sometimes I wish to be nice, sometimes I choose to remain silent. Sometimes I just hate being forced, sometimes I'm all game for it. Apparently for today, I feel like a murderer. Or maybe, I wish, "we" didnt exist.

Too many thoughts in my head, some kept lingering, some just floats away.

Some says:
When love and hate collide.

Emotional wreck

Friendship.
Any one that enters your life, made an impact.

WOAH!

MY HEAD FEELS LIKE A FREAKING YAGERBOMB!! CHAOTIC!!

Moody

I've got no mood for work today, I have a feeling Im gonna fall sick soon, but the thermometer shows 35 degree celcius. Damnit. Aint human. Hahas, back to back Phuket followed by off on Monday. I'm gonna be very busy on Monday, to do some collection of stuffs and some other errands for myself.

I feel so lazy right now. =( BOO!. At least this is a chop chop flt.

Ignorance is bliss.

Nothing's fair.

I can blame no one but my own doings. For landing myself in this half fucked situation. Now that Im so freaking motivated to give my best shot. It just kills me on the spot. Like a freaking headshot. No chance given. No mercy. This stupid system. My stupid brain. It's freaking driving me nuts.
Not that there is no hope for me, but, it's more like something I dread doing. And I dont wish to see myself slogging my life for that. I've chose the wrong path once and I dont wish to go on it again.
Now that I've finally made up my mind, the door just shuts on me. I need to know, but Im afraid of rejection. Im ready for it, but is it gonna give me a chance? CRAP.

I dont have the upperhand.

Stressed out.
Wo yao du shu.. =(
Without that stupid 5 O's credit..

Where's that chocolate bar...

Gastric Reaction^10

There's some reaction in my tummy now, and I kept burping. I can taste that sour,awful feeling. It's horrible. I guess the gastric is reacting, time to take that medicine, I've neglected after seeing the doctor the other day. Im trying not to FORGO my meals, but it doesnt seem to work. After abstaining from food for like 2 hours, the growling dies off and I just feel fatigue. I've been replacing meals with sleep these days.

I'll definately suffer on the weekends, being stuffed with loads of FOOD.
OMG. Pukes at the thought of it.

Ps: There will be moments when you start to doubt your worth, but it's all just a thought and coincidence that things happened. Be it for a reason/not. You shouldn't be brooding over it, instead look at it from a different perspective. Take it like a pinch of salt/ a motivation drive to kick you up where you've left yourself.

I gotta crash, this freaking gastric shit is killing me.