I love my bunny (:




*trying isn't gonna work if it's only a one way situation..

3 hours

I was up since 4 till now. Im still feeling wide awake. Gonna go catch some rest before I wake up for work later, in another 2 hours time?.
I've tried cutting down on the whining but it doesn't seem to be the case.

Gonna get some rest.

nights.

Crossroads

Standing at the crossroads not knowing which way to go.
I was lost from there on, and I chose a path to follow.
Now I'm stuck in it, not sure of where to go.
It's neither here nor there, and I'm hanging in the air.
Looking out into the sky tonight, it looks so gloomy, and the stars are out of sight.
Where's the light to guide me out of this tunnel?, to show me the way...
out of this struggle.

Up till now, I'm still thinking of what I wanna do after my 5 years. Time is wasted, and I'm still thinking of my future. Can someone please show me the light?. I don't wanna do "Fish or Chicken?" for the rest of my life. Some point in this career, I need to go. The conversations I had with my friends today, all gave me the same look, "I don't know what's next.." I'm left with only another 2 and half years. This is really freaking me out real bad. Who can I seek to help me out with these?. I need advises, and I need directions. geez`

The weather looks so threatening right now. Wasted my morning snoozing 5 mins away each time my alarm goes off. Left with another hour before I prepare for work. Standby on Sunday wasn't activated \m/, more like I cheated. =X

Need to head down HQ this week, before the course resumes.

And for the time being, Im mad broke. Like BROKE!!! I've to think twice before I head out. So besides work and the weekends, I consider the rest of the days HELL. Really, it's getting to me freaking bad. What have I been doing with my money man. Guess I'll start my little cashbook from..TODAY. Damnit, when I ask myself where has all the $$ gone?, I haven't been dining at expensive places, or party out..and the funny thing is, my $$ GONE!. Mad broke, drives all the negativity to it's best. Everyone's getting my ill treatments, my emotions getting all screwed up. 5 more days. Bear with it.

L.O.V.E

This 4 letter word means a whole lot to a person. It can make you or break you. It triggers your feelings, stirs up great mess. If you're in love, then everything works like miracle, even the slightest things will make you feel as though you're flying without wings. When love leaves you, your whole world crumbles, anything and everything brings you down, straight to hell.

Through these experiences, one either learns from it, or turns it into hatred. It's how one thinks of it, and their perspective. The leaving part, is one that always creates the most impact, so much greater than when love first started. Following the hurt process, will be stages of relentless cursing, cries and sometimes hatred.....

I'm feeling sleepy already..shall continue when I've got the time..

Sometimes revenge just doesn't work. It's just another stab to your heart.

nuff said..

jo

Rain check

Rain as much as you can, so that the weekends wouldn't be affected..

WAS planning to head down HQ, but look at the weather ): guess I'll just head down to TM in the evening. Can't wait for my XMN tomorrow, with ah lam!! hahaha, we had so much of grievances to whine about lol, goodness.

For the first half of this year:

-Clear all the rubbish on my table
-Dump the old clothes
-Clear the pile of letters
-START SAVING for NZ!!!!

As of the time being, these are the few goals that I've set for myself, I don't wish to disappoint myself once again for setting up too much stuffs to accomplish. It'll be more like spring cleaning for me before CNY. Apart from that, saving has always been a problem for me, since I spend most of what I earn. Which indeed got me into various problems.

And the things that I've to cut down on...

-STOP SHOPPING SO OFTEN (spend within my means)
-MCs

Though it isn't of great significance, it's a way for me to kick away the lazy bones.

I'm finally off today and I've catch up on the sleeping that I've lost for the past 2 days. Feeling pretty much refreshed (:

Met up with the ladies yesterday at Ehub with little Alvena, had dinner over at Magic wok and there after dessert at Gelare (:
Baby Alvena was so cheeky, smiling to every guy that walked past us..LOL goodness!!
We had so much fun catching up (: so much to talk about.

I'm still feeling a little tired.. nap time a while more..LOL

Realism

If getting back at others meant so much for you..
There's more to life than this, if back then you were unhappy about the jokes made, you could have said something.

I may not be as good as you guys when it comes to such stuffs, to lay down the facts and talk about it. I feel the sting, thanks for sharing the experience.

Freaking hurtful.
Thanks for bringing me down.

swings

I'm having the swings, and it's making me feel so cranky tonight. Emotions got the better of me. And it irritates me because I hate feeling this way.

Words just cant express how much it meant to me, for you to make your way down just to company me for dinner. It's always the aftermath that I realise how dumb it was of me to behave in such manner.

you make me feel important.. (:

Thanks for the feedback

When it happened?, I've not a clue. It's been going downhill since then. The more I tried to be cool about it, the more it got worse. Everyone has their own point of view, so if you're unhappy about the thoughts of others, you can just jolly well not view anything that links to them.
You can simply delete the person. Save the trouble. Do yourself a favour there. Simple as that.

Maybe cus there's some injustice along the line that a ITE graduate like me draws home a relatively higher pay. Am I very proud of that? Have I thrown money at your face, or made fun of you in any ways before? Calling me names like domestic servants/ glorified high flying cleaners. Call me names, just because you ASSUME that people looked down on you. If you have something that you're unhappy about, you can trash it out. In my face.

So do you feel great now making fun of people/ me? what have you gain from it? does it feed your ego now? do you feel like a better man now?

Seriously, it hurts alot. I hope this makes you feel damn superb and up there.
To come to this level, to make fun of me. Do you feel elated? On top of the world? Why go through so much just to make fun of me?

The reason why I wrote this entry, yes, I am affected. And yes, I'm finally reacting. Yes, you're making me feel like shit.Yes, you've got better brains than me, yes you're a graduate that can draw much higher pay than me, yes you can get your own transport, and then? what's next?

All these assumptions, I dare you to speak to me in my face. Since you're seeking revenge, why not do it straight into my face?. Hurt me and see me cry, won't it make you feel better?

Cloudy Day

Been feeling lethargic since morning till now. It feels like my bone will break any moment. The weather looks so good, for me to sleep in hehehe. Ohh well, I'm feeling super tired. I merely had 3 hours of sleep?. Body please wake up soon..

SEKUPANG

Anytime any day, as long as I'm not working and it's not the weekends and the money ain't tight, I'll go back there just for the spa and massage. The view was so serene, so peaceful, so carefree. A place for you to hide away, just for a day. Now I know where I can go, it's not that difficult, just that we've got to be extra careful, walking around there.

This is the second time back there, a year ago, I was filled with fear, for it's the first time I've gone to Batam, and the people there scare me. This time round when I'm back there, though the people there STILL scares me, I've kinda got use to their awful stares..

Thank you ladies, you know who you are (:

Thanks Drey.. (: I had a sumptuous breakfast. ='))

Good nights <3>

The more one tries to perfect something, the more she stumbles..

So it goes

I was all excited before I came back home. Was planning to take myself out for a nice lunch/dinner, walk around and all. But ended up sleeping my day away. All I did after I woke up was sitting in front of the monitor and seeing the many incoming birthday wishes.. (:

This year's birthday has been nothing but silence. I can't help it cus it's night time, and when night falls, emotions just gets to me. I'll just need to get use to it (: In another 3 hours time, it'll be the 21st already. Just another day has past. This is something new for me, I'll just need to get use to it.

It's surprising no one is home now..not even Daddy. Ohh well (: any day could be a birthday.

Time for tv and ice creammm (:

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday to Me!! (:

I'm finally 23 now, and it's 11 more days to the New Year! I wanna go for some countdown thingy since I'm OFF on the eve (:
Birthday this year has toned down alot, nonetheless thanks to FB that people wishes me on my bday, my phone doesn't ring like hotcake in the past anymore, they're all on FB. hahaah. Except Ah lam surprisingly, who msg me at 12mn LOL so cute.. then followed by Bi who called at around 12plus to wish me and sang me bday song where I cut him mid-way saying that I wanna record it down and he stopped singing. Not forgetting Ku who came all the way down to bi's block and waited for me with the birthday cake and her priceless scrap book for me (: which I really like alot! It's nothing fancy or expensive, I just enjoy receiving scrap books, dont ask me why..really.

Thankew everyone, be it you remembered, or it was FB or after reading my blog or somewhere along that line..thanks for the wishes

2010 is coming to an end real soon, as per usual there will be many thoughts and feelings about it..will write that maybe in another entry. In the meantime, I need to prepare for work..I've got called up!! at least I'll be back from flight at 2 plus..still not so bad I guess..at least it aint somewhere FARAWAY..hahas..

ciaoz~

Eat and eat and EAT!

Woke up real early this morning, getting all excited for the outing. Had my hair treatment done at RM90 hmm and my nails with nail art at RM61, I did classic pedicure with 3D nail art on my toes, love the look of the flowers on my toes (: had yummylicious pork's spare parts kuay teow in the morning before we headed to the salon and there after the pedicure session, we headed over to get barangs, lots of snacks!! (: mine was only RM75!!..last stop was the prawn noodles at Jalan Eunos Merah, if Im not wrong?.. talking about it makes me so hungry!!!!

Waiting for Mr Tan to get me fries for my dinner..LOL cus I just woke up like half an hour ago. I'm already addicted to the nail art, I foresee more damages in the near future.. LOL uh ohhh..

Total damage for today: RM226 = $97.20 (:

waiting

I'm waiting for the call, I know I'll be called up for flight, be it a long or short one, Im ready for it and all I need now is a call from them. I've been waiting for my phone to ring for the longest time. Not that Im complaining that the "my space" time has worn off, I just can't seem to stay home for more than 24 hours. Been pacing around at home today, been constantly checking the crewlink hoping for someone to report sick so that I can be activated.

I've paint my nails and ironed my uniform.

Ate so much today, had muffin at 6ish then went back to sleep at 7ish. Woke up at 11ish, had 2 bowls of choco pops and a sandwich. Then I had dinner at 5ish didn't finish my box of rice, which consists of veggies and lots of meat which dad bought for me. I guess only mummy knows me best when it comes to getting dishes for me. And that's about how I spent my day today. I read a little of my novel, ended up searching for food again as I was reading on the pizzas and what nots in Italy. That made my tummy roar so loudly. I just got to look for food. Mummy surprised me with sesame ball =) just in time to curb my hunger but sadly, I'm still feeling HUNGRY. I have weird cravings at weird hours. For instance, I'm having craving for soup now. Where the hell to find soup at such hour, unless Im talking about maggie mee soup. Which is not the case. I'm craving for mushroom soup...UGH.

Italy has been on my mind for quite a while now, may I strike 4D enough to tour Italy. ( cus it happens that dad switched to some random channel and it's showing ITALY )

Anyways, there's so much running thoughts in my head now, like when I was bathing and looking into the mirror, I was trying to picture myself with different hairstyle, it just feels too mundane, I wish to change it, but I have no idea on what hairstyle to go for. I can't go like those pixie short hairstyles, neither can I go for those vogue hairstyles, because my face will be exceptionally big. But I hate how the curls look on me, I wonder how..
Christmas is round the corner (: can't help it but I'm hoping for lots of nice food!!! wonder if there is any family gathering this year, kinda missing the blue cheese, the cakes and I wanna have TURKEY for Christmas!! all those yummylicious.. and the Christmas decorations.. for once, for the longest time, I feel for Christmas..

enough said, I'm sleepy already..lol.

xoxo

Jojo..

Christmas..

Home to rot Part 2

I've yet to prepare and head out to run my errands, cus I'm enjoying "my space" currently cus there's no one home cept Coco baby and me (: She gets to laze around while I get to watch drama after drama (:

I still have the crave for Rapunzel.. anyone?

Craving for bubble tea hmmm slurps..maybe later =P

miss you baby` (:

GREAT

GREAT, just great. I'm feeling superbly tired but I couldn't get back to sleep. Insomnia is back. My body is aching mad right now, and my tummy is roaring loudly.

Should I make my way down office later?, or should I just write an email?. I'm feeling really tired today. Have no plans for nothing. My hands looks horribly red and sore right now ): and my right index finger feels as though the nail is gonna fall off any moment now. ARGH!!! my mind is so active right now, but my body is crying for more rest. I've been tossing and turning since 3:30.. hmm should I order Mac breakfast?.. or try my luck and head back to "sleep"?.. what an off day! zZz

It's going to be a lethargic Tuesday. Maybe I'll just run some errands then spend the rest of the day at home, rot away and watch some shows on channel 856/855 since it's been a while I've watched those sitcoms.

I'm chatting away online with Flo who's in EU now..enjoying her last few hours before she heads back home..it's already 6:17am!!! should I get my mac breakfast?..lol

amazing

When you're enclosed in an area, 14000 ft above, when you have no where to run, where you can't avoid what you don't wish to see or do. There's no "I try" only "I can do it". It's amazing how I can push my limits, like doing more than what I see myself doing.

I realize I need alot of pressure added to me if I need to get something done. Just like today, I was given the task of being "in-charge" at the back as I was the most senior. All the responsibility came to me, and I would say I'm impressed with the way I handled stuffs. Though not perfect, at least I didn't shun away from the responsibility, or maybe put it this way, I'm cornered. It's a one way traffic, no way me saying it's okay we can do without the service. In my head, I was giving myself some of my own pre-flight briefing, my thoughts were running mad crazy, so I told myself, one way or other, Im in this flight, the passengers got to reach their destination, I can't just shriek away from my responsibility. I calmed myself down, took a deep breath, and we took off.
Everything went smoothly.

I never see myself being able to lead, because I always tell myself I can't and in me, I'm scared of having to make decisions, but today, I broke the curse, it's all in me. It's just a matter of whether you wanna do it, or not. I could have chose to take MC but I didn't. (:
Do it once and do it good.

I'm still learning each time,
think fast act fast..

When obstacles/challenges comes along, mentality plays a huge role, if I were to sulk and whine even before heading to work, it's definitely going to be a sucky day.
I'm enjoying the challenges I've to face, it's like a sense of accomplishment, in a way boosting that tiny little confidence of mine..

Loving it in a new light..

xoxo

jojo' over and out

good nights all!! (: