Far away

I'll be departing at 910am today to Kathmandu.

This vicious cycle still lives within me. A part of me concentrates on school and the other, lost. I thought I was able to handle it, but it keeps haunting me. I cant seem to focus. Bits and pieces kept recurring in my mind. I have to smile and maintain positive when Im outside . Can I turn around this time? can I hide away for a while?.

I dare not think of anything, I just kept myself busy, to make myself exhausted. I cant have silent moments like this. Im scared. Really. How long this has to go on?..

Have a great weekend.. =)

Stress

Coincidentally my English assignment is to create a flyer for students in SIM to teach them on how to relieve stress or release stress, when I havent come up with a method for myself to relieve stress. Yesterday was madness, I literally felt like jumping down with the Maths book man. geez~

Time literally slips away balls. Im no longer within grasp of my time management. Crazy. It's driving me up the roof. Having to juggle with work and school, I cant even spare a weekend this week to do my assignments with my group, it is definitely giving me a hard time. I can feel how equally anxious they are bout the projects and I've got long flts on weekends!! This is so terrible. With the holidays coming up real soon, I hope I'm able to fork out more time to meet my mates and storm the assignments!.

I need a maths tutor, please :(

Second week

It's my second week of school, so far not that good. LOL. But slowly able to catch up with the pace. Though Im not as experienced as my classmates that has the experience in their jobs easier for them to relate. Im definitely not saying that I wish to drop out now, not exactly. Unknowingly, it's coming 3 weeks since I fell. Slowly standing up. At least now I can touch the wound and clear it slowly. No more tears rolling.

My nonsense died down, more quiet now?, or Im still using mask around. It feels quite handicap sometimes, when I stare at my phone, it just doesnt react the same way anymore. I just feel that I should just turn it off since no one will call cept for rostering.. nah, not gonna blabber on anymore..

My Ipod died on me! forgot to charge. I'll listen to the commuters on the train today I guess..

Ciaoz~

Assume

Thought it can work out. Im just driving myself crazy. Endless crying has caused blur visions and it's getting irritating. I cant see clearly and my eyes are getting smaller each day.

Will be having lesson again today. Bought my necessary stuff for school, found my bag pack and bought my foolscap paper and files from Popular.

No one asking where am I, what's taking you so long, you only like to drag till late...etc. Kinda miss that. Hahas, I promise myself not to cry today. Enough of it already.

Hope you can make a decision soon. At least let me know something. Dont leave quietly.

Test of patience

Just when I've settled with school, Emirates is recruiting!! #$^#@$%
Yes, like what Aunt said, it's always something better planned for me. For a split moment I wanted to go for the interview and get out of here. That's stupid. I'll just stick to my studies since MI has approve my studies.

2 and 1/2 years aint that long. Must not let myself down, it aint easy getting the money for studies. Give me the strength, be it good times or bad.

New challenges

School has officially started yesterday. It's like information overload, but should be fine after reading it through again from the textbook I got from Ken. Thanks dude!. I feel the pressure on me. Lucky there's a primary school mate in my class! Im happy for that already. I've formed up my group members for projects and I've got 2 assignments on hand already. Will be heading to do some research on my assignments.

Never listen should never be in my dictionary again. Devastating.

JIAYOU to me!

so near yet so far

It's merely a day or two. I lost the confidence I had. Im dropping at an alarming speed to the bottomless pit. Im turning blind real soon from this. What am I thinking?. Please stop already. Why it hurts even more now?. I lost it. Losing myself.

water tap

I feel the intense sadness. It's getting to me quite badly right now. Give me the strength please. I dont want to break down.

Hungry

I was feeling too hungry when I woke up. I ransacked the fridge and found my birthday cakes!! yes not one or two but A FEW!! I was really hungry, couldn't help it and took the smallest box of it consisting of a slice of black forest and mango moose. I finished the black forest hoping it doesnt comes up with any reaction later in the day. I dare not touch the mango moose, it tasted a little weird so all in all my cakes are going to a waste, I threw it away. I've still got the chocolate cake and one more dunno what cake..omg. I guess they've all gone bad by now. =(

Im still hungry. UGH.

unique

Recently I was being introduced to this new milkshake store, " once upon a milkshake" it is SUPERB! super fattening but nice. LOL, I went back there again to get another try. hahaha. I wanna try more unique stuff in this small lil island of Singapore. But at the same time I've put on quite a lot weight. Damn depressing. How to fit my uniform like that!!! UGH!.

My leave is coming up, school is starting soon, money is running low and my tummy rumbles after every 2 hours!!!! WTF?! Im back to the original FAT JO. Mum has reinstated my name "Ah pui" again. %$#^#^$

Got to go prepare for work now..
Ciaoz

depress entry Day 1

im fat and depress now with full of pimple outbreak! #$@#%#^$ CRIES!!!!!

TODAY!

Had been going to STC for the past 2 days for my recurrent and Im glad everything is over. It was tiring but fun, especially the second day whereby you get to do more hands-on. Not much of batchgirls doing the recurrent together this year, only Ziana and Sarah. The rest are mixtures of CICs and other batches. But it was fun. =) and the coolest part of all, I get to have lunch together with my 2 uncles at STC!! hahahaha! one of them was having recurrent as well and the other was in office doing ground duties for a while.

The weather is so good this morning <3 I literally slept through the alarm. Guess I better go prepare soon and head down to SIM. Making my payments today. Orientation would be on the 18th which is like next week?. Cant wait man. =) Back to school. It feels good in a sense. Test of my endurance.

The weather is making me lazy. But nahh, not gonna waste my off day. Have a pleasant day people! =) Ciaoz!

minimum

Im really tired. It' my 3rd day today. I cant even wake up earlier to prepare. Look at the time now. I got to go bathe already. My eyes are shutting and my body is aching mad. SAVE ME! =(