Almost forgotten

Call me dumb or whatsoever, looking at my friend's pictures, it just reminds me of the dream that I've set out for. My path aint blurry yet. Im still working towards my ultimate goal, maybe I should print some pictures to remind myself of what I wish to do. It's a love hate situation, but I tend to appreciate my job more and ironically, it's because of the people there that motivated me. I'm glad I've managed to pull through. Today marks exactly 2 years of flying from which I've learned good and bad stuffs from.

I enjoyed the process, and as the day goes by, I feel a kind of bond with my job. Though I dread it at times, times when I became complacent and only wanna be able to play to the max. I dont want to stop now. Not yet. Im moving on.

I believe I'll be able to make it to international someday. And as of now, Im working towards my goal.

Peace yo~
xoxo

NEVER EVER

I will never ever do mask when Im feeling sleepy. Im so wide awake now!!!!!! the freaking black mask is so painful, it feels like sunburn. OUCH! The removing of the mask was the worse part, it almost made me cry..GEEZ! pffft.

Finally feeling sleepy once again after like 20mins?.. heading back to bed..
Nights.

Xoxo

Bored

I just got this very bad habit, and it's like a must have. I just wanna get my hands on this phone though it's like so back then..did I mention im a sucker for flip phones.. LOL. Anyone wanna sell me?

morning

Aint no different from other mornings, just another day. Feeling a little tired and a little lazy. But I wont skip work, not gonna be that mean. But I need this small little space alone for a while. Though I've said that I've got over it.. all I can say is, it feels as though someone has pass on in my life. And that I need to keep myself occupied today. It's slightly affected, slightly only.

As long as Im able to distinguish which is to let go and which is not.
I'll be fine.

Thanks for the memories which I cant really remember..but thanks anyway.

Retard

Im being retarded I know. This sucks. BIG TIME.

Kose Blackmask

I've got hold of my mask from Aud, am experimenting on it now. It's gives a cooling feel when applied, waiting for it to dry off. It's hilarious when you listen to Aud explain the details of using this mask, important note to rememer: Do not apply near or onto your brows, unless you wanna get rid of it.. LOL! ( starts to imagine the state of it when someone accidentally applied it onto their brows..)

Hung out the other day at Van's place. Baby Jaylene is just so adorable =) she's so small and cute. Took a few pictures with her, will upload maybe later. Will be seeing her again this Sunday for her full month which means mummy Van is free!! ;) was talking to Aud about how our life's has been changing, we grew out of the clubbing era, and entering mid 20's pretty soon. More responsibilities, more committments. Wow, and how much we fear the thought of friends around us getting married. Freaky... school break is coming which means EXAMS are nearing. MATHS MATHS MATHS!!!!

Went out with mummy as well for lunch at MOF, look at her delighted face over her dessert :)

Changes happen all the time. Just like a fallen star.

Out-

study week

I've got my notepad, so I guess revision gonna start this week. Study khakis any out there?. I thought I was carrying the "why bother" attitude to lesson, which doesnt seem to be the case. Im quite affected by the assessment of my result. UGH! *Deep breaths..* More effort please!.

On a lighter note, I went on a little spree today for myself to cheer myself up =) I've cut my fringe and coloured my hair-ash brown. But I see nothing! lol!! what an idiot. Caught a little of crayon shin, cant stop laughing hahas!! irritating but cute!.

Super random thoughts in my head, Im gonna have a 2 weeks break from school after next week, woots! and hopefully get to rent car next month.. =) needa drive a bit, else Im losing my skills already.

Ciaoz for now~

Xoxo,

Jojo

Bullshit

I'll be freaking lying through my teeth if I said I was fine. I feel so imbalanced right now this instance. That image still couldn't get out of my head. I asked for it seriously. Months of suffering, maybe weeks, it aint that long either, have slipped away from me. I took so much effort to make myself forget, but within split seconds I stabbed straight back into my open wound once again. I aint Holy Mary. Worse of all, I cant cry it out. I cant even word vomit, why am I allowing all these to happen on me?. This virus attacks me only at night, and at such hours. I'm awake right now and I'm suppose to be preparing for flight.

Am I that weak?. I feel like screaming seriously, like using all that I've left in my black lungs, scream it all out. I wanna evict this "castle" in my head. Get it out of my system, I was so strong when I had my conversation with Cheryl, where have it gone to? I feel as though Im going crazy. How can I allow this to happen to me?

You're so happy with your life, after damaging one after the other. Sorry really doesnt work. Is this what Im suppose to learn Dear God up there? that it's my KARMA this has to happen to me?. I need an outlet, I dont know what's next on my mind that I wanna do.. it feels as though there's a split personality in me. I dont wish to hurt people around me, seeing me in this state.
I need to vent this evil feeling in me.

For those that has a weak heart and aint no game, please dont come near me, for the moment my heart has turned bad once again. It feels like vengence.. sounds so scary. But it's just words.
All in all, Im only good at whining..

Typing it out does helps to a certain extend I guess.. I feel slightly back to normal now.
I guess no one understands this, except myself, please pardon this pretty long entry, I just wish tonight will be last time I have such feelings. Once the sun comes up, I should FORGET about this bitter sweet nightmare.

A leopard will never change it's spots.

Im being bias right now, Im thinking only about MYSELF.

Taking NO MORE BULLSHITS AS OF 12.03.10 MARK ME!

bong!

A fulfilling day spent today. I followed the schedule I've planned, and it feels good. Something Im proud of =) cus I dont usually keep to my plans, due to unforseen circumstances.

Went over Van's place after flight with Aud to see the little princess Jaylene. =) A replica of Jayden I'll say, sleeping peacefully without worries, no sadness, .. I feel at ease when I see the young ones..after which I left for school. The journey there was tormenting. I need a mini pillow, I'll take it with me when I head for school..LOL!! I was leaning against the panel, and was side head banging all the way till Cityhall. So embarrassing balls... =( hiak hiak hiak .. I DONT CARE!!!

Everyone seems restless today, it was funny, as though I've not seen my classmates for a while,
I'm uttering nonsense, very sleepy already..

All in all, through all that had happened lately, I've learnt some stuffs, maybe grew from it..I just wish that people around me dont get nonsense treatments no more, let them lead it the way they want it happily.. life is short, stop being so petty, let bygones be bygones.. no point biting on to it, what's the point?.. I rather have a table of people filled with laughters and nonsense, when was the last time that ever happened?..

Good nights..