A very good morning to all, I'm bloody tired right now, cus I couldnt sleep last night; tossing and turning, I just cant fall asleep, so eventually around 3plus am I went out to the living room to use my com.
So how will you feel satisfied with the term of " cherish every moment of your life?"
Are you cherishing every moment of your life right now? or are you sulking away on what had happened last week or yesterday?..
I'm still learning..
Man I'll be working at Katong today, luckily I have Drey to company me, but I wonder how's her eyes, poor girl hasnt recover from her eye infection yet..
This is gonna be a long weekend..
Apart of me feels sad.
Out for medical..Byeee
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Same old story
Knowing that eventually I'll bound to get hurt, I still went head in.
Knowing that the hurt will be even worse, I still chose to head in.
I simply cant stop myself. I chose my path.
One tends to forget what they lost, and not remember to cherish.
Whereas Im one that tends to cherish too much, I held it too tightly.
As silly as I am, as silly as how you will call me.
I've fell back in.
This is the same old story.
I've chosen another path which is coming along my way very soon.
See where my limits can go.I'm beyond recovery.
Knowing that the hurt will be even worse, I still chose to head in.
I simply cant stop myself. I chose my path.
One tends to forget what they lost, and not remember to cherish.
Whereas Im one that tends to cherish too much, I held it too tightly.
As silly as I am, as silly as how you will call me.
I've fell back in.
This is the same old story.
I've chosen another path which is coming along my way very soon.
See where my limits can go.I'm beyond recovery.
Monday, January 28, 2008
I failed
I cant express myself well, but if you need to talk to me, just tell me, dont keep it inside of yourself. I know you're good at hiding your feelings. I wanted to talk to you but I dont know where to start, as a sister I failed.
I feel lost, like totally. As though Im crumbling down instantly. So many things in my mind, it's all jumbled up.
It's as though..
Im mentally breaking down.
I cant stop crying.
I feel lost, like totally. As though Im crumbling down instantly. So many things in my mind, it's all jumbled up.
It's as though..
Im mentally breaking down.
I cant stop crying.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Tarot Card
Was late for work once again today, turned up only at 1.30 when I was suppose to start at 1pm
Hahas! Damn, but luckily there wasnt much for me to key in mostly just changing of destination.
I learned how to do airway bills today. I was kind of blur at first cause I was suppose to attach this document with that document, Des nearly killed me.LOL. But as a newbie you cant really blame me can you?..hmm, even photocopying of stuff was a difficulty to me. Zul tried to help but we made things worse, LOL!! Oh well :p
After which, Mum,Des and me headed down to Bugis for lunch, we had KFC's family feast! LOL.
It was extremely FILLING till I was on the verge of exploding.WAhaha.Kris came to meet us, and I was getting all excited cus Des had a deck of Tarot Cards, so I was looking forward to his readings.
We settled at Sketches, didnt really like the place, but their Tiramisu was SUPERB!!, yummy, sadly, no picture was taken cus my phone died on me. =(
Patiently I waited for my turn. Kris went first cus she was rushing..followed by mummy, after which it was finally MY TURN!! =)
I was the only one that had the "bad" cards, mum and Kris both had triumph cards whereas mine was more on the down side, so my reading was kinda bad..
But I got to work hard to change my fate, shall see bout that..
hmmm,
may the fat woman and best man wins. LOL!
Hahas! Damn, but luckily there wasnt much for me to key in mostly just changing of destination.
I learned how to do airway bills today. I was kind of blur at first cause I was suppose to attach this document with that document, Des nearly killed me.LOL. But as a newbie you cant really blame me can you?..hmm, even photocopying of stuff was a difficulty to me. Zul tried to help but we made things worse, LOL!! Oh well :p
After which, Mum,Des and me headed down to Bugis for lunch, we had KFC's family feast! LOL.
It was extremely FILLING till I was on the verge of exploding.WAhaha.Kris came to meet us, and I was getting all excited cus Des had a deck of Tarot Cards, so I was looking forward to his readings.
We settled at Sketches, didnt really like the place, but their Tiramisu was SUPERB!!, yummy, sadly, no picture was taken cus my phone died on me. =(
Patiently I waited for my turn. Kris went first cus she was rushing..followed by mummy, after which it was finally MY TURN!! =)
I was the only one that had the "bad" cards, mum and Kris both had triumph cards whereas mine was more on the down side, so my reading was kinda bad..
But I got to work hard to change my fate, shall see bout that..
hmmm,
may the fat woman and best man wins. LOL!
I know I aint thinking too much
Knowing too much aint helping too much either.
Am I to chuck this thought aside? I'm having mixed emotions, I hate my self-confidence.
Just when I thought I got over the fact of some unreasonable thoughts, it came straight at my face.
Distance.
My thoughts are slowly turning negative, and this time it seems my intuition is true.
Help me. I dont wanna sink anymore.
I dont wish to see things that I dont wish to see, but it still happened.
I brush away the thoughts but yet another surfaced.
If the one you love doesnt appreciate you as much as your past, why cling on to her?..
maybe she isnt the one for you at all, it was only the nonsense she does that makes you happy.
Look around you, while you were depressed and thought you only needed her, it's actually cus you kept yourself cooped up in your room, you were so joyful with your friends, she aint that great afterall, dont cling on to her. She's just a lost soul now, she thought she felt happy, but she's having mixed emotions again, are you really sure she's the one for you?..
Because she just felt that it isnt, something is missing.
Mr Paul Frank..U STOLE MY FAG!
Ha.
Now the emotic girl surfaces once again.
Fucked up.
Dont talk to me.
Am I to chuck this thought aside? I'm having mixed emotions, I hate my self-confidence.
Just when I thought I got over the fact of some unreasonable thoughts, it came straight at my face.
Distance.
My thoughts are slowly turning negative, and this time it seems my intuition is true.
Help me. I dont wanna sink anymore.
I dont wish to see things that I dont wish to see, but it still happened.
I brush away the thoughts but yet another surfaced.
If the one you love doesnt appreciate you as much as your past, why cling on to her?..
maybe she isnt the one for you at all, it was only the nonsense she does that makes you happy.
Look around you, while you were depressed and thought you only needed her, it's actually cus you kept yourself cooped up in your room, you were so joyful with your friends, she aint that great afterall, dont cling on to her. She's just a lost soul now, she thought she felt happy, but she's having mixed emotions again, are you really sure she's the one for you?..
Because she just felt that it isnt, something is missing.
Mr Paul Frank..U STOLE MY FAG!
Ha.
Now the emotic girl surfaces once again.
Fucked up.
Dont talk to me.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
NAFA
ARGH!. Good Morning!
It's finally TUESDAY!, a day which I dread the MOST.
We'll be having NAFA today @ 2pm. BOOOO!!!
Seriously, cant they just do off with that?, it feels so secondary school man. Damn.
People are telling me to take the 2.4km as a slow jog..when I got to clear before 15mins, else I got to retake!! eeeeyur, damn.
My fruit diet didnt started afterall, in the morning I had OILY CHICKEN CHOP, followed by flavour bust raspberry again when I met up with AUd and dinner was GRILLED CHICKEN! @ Cartel..OMG.
I've SINNED. I broke my own promise to myself. DAMNIT!
And I didnt attend vball training! eeeyur.
I was laughing so much when I met up with Aud ytd to study, ahahas.
Cash budgeting was giving us the headache, but the laughters cured them. I was laughing so hard, till I felt the cramps in my stomach. LOL.
We took pics from Aud's macbook and I was laughing awaay, our dumb faces, shall get the pics from aud and upload them soon!! wahahas.
Enjoy!! =) wahaha
It's finally TUESDAY!, a day which I dread the MOST.
We'll be having NAFA today @ 2pm. BOOOO!!!
Seriously, cant they just do off with that?, it feels so secondary school man. Damn.
People are telling me to take the 2.4km as a slow jog..when I got to clear before 15mins, else I got to retake!! eeeeyur, damn.
My fruit diet didnt started afterall, in the morning I had OILY CHICKEN CHOP, followed by flavour bust raspberry again when I met up with AUd and dinner was GRILLED CHICKEN! @ Cartel..OMG.
I've SINNED. I broke my own promise to myself. DAMNIT!
And I didnt attend vball training! eeeyur.
I was laughing so much when I met up with Aud ytd to study, ahahas.
Cash budgeting was giving us the headache, but the laughters cured them. I was laughing so hard, till I felt the cramps in my stomach. LOL.
We took pics from Aud's macbook and I was laughing awaay, our dumb faces, shall get the pics from aud and upload them soon!! wahahas.
Enjoy!! =) wahaha
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Edited--
I remembered what I wanted to blog initially..
It was a bad dream I had that woke me up this morning.
It's like a past haunting me once again, must be too much of such nonsense jealousy talk that I dreamt of that whoever and that whoever together.
I'm like wtf in my dreams, like that stupid betrayal feeling.
I hate that so much. TOO MUCh.
And to think that she wasnt that decent afterall.
She was smoking in my dreams, LOL like WTF!!!!!!
Okay this is yet random but haunts me.
Pouts.
Morning =)
I feel so weird right nw after taking the diet pill..my heart is beating so fast and it seems as though I cant really control my limbs, my arms feels so gittery. :(
Omg, I dont think Im gonna continue with this pill.
I feel so lazy to have to work again. =(
Kay, gotta go prepare alr..
I remembered what I wanted to blog initially..
It was a bad dream I had that woke me up this morning.
It's like a past haunting me once again, must be too much of such nonsense jealousy talk that I dreamt of that whoever and that whoever together.
I'm like wtf in my dreams, like that stupid betrayal feeling.
I hate that so much. TOO MUCh.
And to think that she wasnt that decent afterall.
She was smoking in my dreams, LOL like WTF!!!!!!
Okay this is yet random but haunts me.
Pouts.
Morning =)
I feel so weird right nw after taking the diet pill..my heart is beating so fast and it seems as though I cant really control my limbs, my arms feels so gittery. :(
Omg, I dont think Im gonna continue with this pill.
I feel so lazy to have to work again. =(
Kay, gotta go prepare alr..
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Long Day in Heels!
A very long day spent with my heels, killing me with each step I took.
Damn the heels man! Fuck Mo**o!! Stupid heels of theirs.
Made a few friends today, namely-Adeline,Michelle and Rosline and a few others which I cant recall their names.
They were extremely friendly and out-going. =)
This is gonna be so random, okay therafter I went to roam around MS,Citilink,Raffels City,back to MS and Suntec, before I finally decided on Swensens at Suntec.
That explains why my feet hurts so much now.
I went to have my lunch alone at Swensens while waiting for time to pass, as I was suppose to meet Fang,Sheryl and Gela for our "waxing session!!!!!!" ahhhhhhhhh!!
hahahs, it's located at Dhoby Gaut-Dhoby Express, not sure what's the salon's name.
Yes you're eyes arent playing tricks on you, we went for WAXING!!! ahahas.
At first I was making fun of them as they started first, then at last it was my turn!! oh damn!! it was freaking painful I would say!
The lotion or the "waxing cream" lol, the minute the lady apply it on me, I can feel the "heat" sensation, lol. Then she'll paste a strip of paper or what sort then she'll say breathe in! then "zzzzzzzzzzzziiiiaaaahhhhhhhh" the tingy came off with your facial hairs on it..........
Oh yea, I didnt said what waxing it was.. lol
It was..........
UPPER LIP WAXING
Cause of faggots that made fun of me bout the cute lil "moustache" I had, I decided to do off with it.
You better SHUT your mouth from now on FAGS!
hahas, Damn, it's painful..but I had some means thoughts, if guys were to bully me, this shit is gonna land on ur face, and I wont feel sorry for you. LOL. GOOD LUCK.
I'm tried..
Nites =)
Damn the heels man! Fuck Mo**o!! Stupid heels of theirs.
Made a few friends today, namely-Adeline,Michelle and Rosline and a few others which I cant recall their names.
They were extremely friendly and out-going. =)
This is gonna be so random, okay therafter I went to roam around MS,Citilink,Raffels City,back to MS and Suntec, before I finally decided on Swensens at Suntec.
That explains why my feet hurts so much now.
I went to have my lunch alone at Swensens while waiting for time to pass, as I was suppose to meet Fang,Sheryl and Gela for our "waxing session!!!!!!" ahhhhhhhhh!!
hahahs, it's located at Dhoby Gaut-Dhoby Express, not sure what's the salon's name.
Yes you're eyes arent playing tricks on you, we went for WAXING!!! ahahas.
At first I was making fun of them as they started first, then at last it was my turn!! oh damn!! it was freaking painful I would say!
The lotion or the "waxing cream" lol, the minute the lady apply it on me, I can feel the "heat" sensation, lol. Then she'll paste a strip of paper or what sort then she'll say breathe in! then "zzzzzzzzzzzziiiiaaaahhhhhhhh" the tingy came off with your facial hairs on it..........
Oh yea, I didnt said what waxing it was.. lol
It was..........
UPPER LIP WAXING
Cause of faggots that made fun of me bout the cute lil "moustache" I had, I decided to do off with it.
You better SHUT your mouth from now on FAGS!
hahas, Damn, it's painful..but I had some means thoughts, if guys were to bully me, this shit is gonna land on ur face, and I wont feel sorry for you. LOL. GOOD LUCK.
I'm tried..
Nites =)
Friday, January 18, 2008
My rantings..
I feel tired, having to wake up each day to think of a way to handle my fringe, that fringe made me felt horrible. And I horribly miss my long hair. This is my HUGE mistake, to horribly went to the salon to get it snipped off.
2yrs of keeping it and now it's gone for good, I just kept convincing myself that my hair will be better when the new ones grow out. At least it's not frizzy anymore.
It's painstaking to start all over again, to wait for my once "long hair" to grow back again. Yes, people might think that Im being a retard whining bout hair that could be grown back, maybe because I'm too concious of how I look in others eyes, in other word- VAIN. Who isnt vain AT ALL? hmmm?.. =(
But I got to surpress that thought and not go for hair extension.
I'll just stop looking at myself so often in the mirror,reflections etc, etc.
I'll feel better that way, maybe wear a cap for a change, or maybe just find new ways of styling my hair, yea maybe new ways.
Freaking rebonding costed me $200. Money that literally went down the drain.
Horrible lesson learnt. I'm $200 poorer, and that means I'm gonna work more this month I hope or maybe next month.I'm trying my best to cut down on spending, today I spent $1 which I felt kinda guilty cus it was spent on flavour bust-Raspberry.
I've been dying to have an ice cream so I bought myself one on my way home from work just now.
Speaking of work, OCS has shifted to a new location, it's at the old Gan Eng Seng School, which is kinda ... hmmm it's not accessible, mum is trying to persuade me to quit, but..I'm not considering that as of yet. Maybe when I found another better paying job.
I'm beginning to aim higher, as in the usual average pay I get now, doesnt seem to satify me anymore. Maybe cus Im starting to buy stuff which I use to find them pointless to get. Or maybe it's cus my shampoo and all are no longer sponsored by my mum, just base on my dail necessities is already around $30 odd, that doesnt include my facial wash, or body wash. It's only shampooo!!. =(
Hais,the monetary issues again..
This looks like a rather long entry..
tired.
2yrs of keeping it and now it's gone for good, I just kept convincing myself that my hair will be better when the new ones grow out. At least it's not frizzy anymore.
It's painstaking to start all over again, to wait for my once "long hair" to grow back again. Yes, people might think that Im being a retard whining bout hair that could be grown back, maybe because I'm too concious of how I look in others eyes, in other word- VAIN. Who isnt vain AT ALL? hmmm?.. =(
But I got to surpress that thought and not go for hair extension.
I'll just stop looking at myself so often in the mirror,reflections etc, etc.
I'll feel better that way, maybe wear a cap for a change, or maybe just find new ways of styling my hair, yea maybe new ways.
Freaking rebonding costed me $200. Money that literally went down the drain.
Horrible lesson learnt. I'm $200 poorer, and that means I'm gonna work more this month I hope or maybe next month.I'm trying my best to cut down on spending, today I spent $1 which I felt kinda guilty cus it was spent on flavour bust-Raspberry.
I've been dying to have an ice cream so I bought myself one on my way home from work just now.
Speaking of work, OCS has shifted to a new location, it's at the old Gan Eng Seng School, which is kinda ... hmmm it's not accessible, mum is trying to persuade me to quit, but..I'm not considering that as of yet. Maybe when I found another better paying job.
I'm beginning to aim higher, as in the usual average pay I get now, doesnt seem to satify me anymore. Maybe cus Im starting to buy stuff which I use to find them pointless to get. Or maybe it's cus my shampoo and all are no longer sponsored by my mum, just base on my dail necessities is already around $30 odd, that doesnt include my facial wash, or body wash. It's only shampooo!!. =(
Hais,the monetary issues again..
This looks like a rather long entry..
tired.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Mind over Body
Im just very tired, my visions are starting to blur.
Yet, my body and mind refuse to rest, I'm just thinking of the negative.
The negatives and the "what if's"..
I dont feel the way I should be feeling..
Some stuffs which I dont know how to describe. I just felt like doing so manny things at a time that most of the time I'm just staring blankly..just plainly thinking of what to do more than what are the stuff that got to be done.
Am I not making sense..hais.
Anyway as I was saying..
It still feels best to have things not within your reach, because when you eventually did..there will be 2 outcomes..
It's either:
1. You'll feel accomplished or whatsoever..or
2. You'll feel that it should not had happened.
See, Im back to the contradictions.
And, I still have my doubts.
This is not what I'm suppose to be feeling right now, but damnit why is it so??..
Yet, my body and mind refuse to rest, I'm just thinking of the negative.
The negatives and the "what if's"..
I dont feel the way I should be feeling..
Some stuffs which I dont know how to describe. I just felt like doing so manny things at a time that most of the time I'm just staring blankly..just plainly thinking of what to do more than what are the stuff that got to be done.
Am I not making sense..hais.
Anyway as I was saying..
It still feels best to have things not within your reach, because when you eventually did..there will be 2 outcomes..
It's either:
1. You'll feel accomplished or whatsoever..or
2. You'll feel that it should not had happened.
See, Im back to the contradictions.
And, I still have my doubts.
This is not what I'm suppose to be feeling right now, but damnit why is it so??..
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Home-ed
Was literally home the whole day today. Oh wells, reason being- I overslept once again, I was supposed to go jogging at the Tamp Stadium with the fellas, and I nearly missed it. Ha!
All in all, I've received 17 missed calls =p Sorry MH & Ed
So we jogged, hmmm they jogged, mine was the combination of jogging and more of walking..ahahas, and I've only managed 3 rounds. Pathetic! Damn.
After which it was Subway! I had their " Oven toasted Chicken Breast Meat Salad".
Yeap, I had SALAD. It was "not bad" but I'll still prefer Swensen's Salad.
Walked home, and tada! I'm stuck to the com till now..
Alright, I'll go watch tv, my favourite show is coming up next! ;)
All in all, I've received 17 missed calls =p Sorry MH & Ed
So we jogged, hmmm they jogged, mine was the combination of jogging and more of walking..ahahas, and I've only managed 3 rounds. Pathetic! Damn.
After which it was Subway! I had their " Oven toasted Chicken Breast Meat Salad".
Yeap, I had SALAD. It was "not bad" but I'll still prefer Swensen's Salad.
Walked home, and tada! I'm stuck to the com till now..
Alright, I'll go watch tv, my favourite show is coming up next! ;)
Sunday, January 13, 2008
I'm home =)
Like Finally!! ahas, mmm mum brought back ayam masak merah and nasi brani and pineapple tarts that are extremely DELICIOUS OOOOO la la =p
okay im lazy to blog further,
jus uploaded some pics I took for the past few weeks or days..
[ Went CANELE with Fang, Nana and Kiku.. hmmmmmmm yummm! :p ] 
[ FUCKD UP..] align="center">
[ Was Left alone waiting for the rain to stop at Tanjong Pagar...]
[ Ah Gong ]
[ Me and my lovable ah mah <3>
Like Finally!! ahas, mmm mum brought back ayam masak merah and nasi brani and pineapple tarts that are extremely DELICIOUS OOOOO la la =p
okay im lazy to blog further,
jus uploaded some pics I took for the past few weeks or days..
[ Went CANELE with Fang, Nana and Kiku.. hmmmmmmm yummm! :p ] [ FUCKD UP..] [ Was Left alone waiting for the rain to stop at Tanjong Pagar...] [ Ah Gong ] [ Me and my lovable ah mah <3>
Exhausted
Im drained out, extremely exhausted, for the next few days coming up, I'll try to be a good girl.
Attend lessons, and sleep in more often!.
Yes, this will be my temporary short goal for the upcoming events..
-27th Jan ( Jayden's 1 month )
-7th Feb 2008 Chinese New Yr!! & Nana's Birthday!
-16th Feb ( OCS CNY Celebration )
-20th Feb ( Kiku Tuang's Birthday )
Before all these, I got to make sure I :
-Am eating lesser
-Get my hair extension done.. ( hmm, got to negotiate this..)
-Get my "Chu 2" clothes
-*My secret wish come true
-Get a memory card for my Camera!! ( ROAR! )
-Repay my debts
-Get my nails done
Hais, but above all these..
I WANNA QUIT MAHJONG!! LOL
It has cost me alot of investment, lol. Very little income, therefore, I'm gonna quit that for "a while" hahaha.
Was extremely angry yesterday over 2 issues, one was that monkey had shaved his bloody head and joined the army, so...my $$ got to wait all the way back to the 27th!!!! I believe he's gonna come out with another freaking lame excuse, hais. Must be my KARMA man.UGH.
And second..hais, I dont wish to comment further, it'll just make me age faster..
I have a hintch is that how you spell it, that my day for today will be a LONG one. =(
Boo, Im extremely tired, not enough sleep!!!
NO MORE MAHJONG FOR THE TIME BEING!! I WANNA SLEEP!!!
Oh yea oh yea, MY HAIR SUCKS TO THE CORE MAN!!!
Kay, Im off to work..
toodles!
Im fucking FAT NOW!!!! freaking 55kg!!.
Attend lessons, and sleep in more often!.
Yes, this will be my temporary short goal for the upcoming events..
-27th Jan ( Jayden's 1 month )
-7th Feb 2008 Chinese New Yr!! & Nana's Birthday!
-16th Feb ( OCS CNY Celebration )
-20th Feb ( Kiku Tuang's Birthday )
Before all these, I got to make sure I :
-Am eating lesser
-Get my hair extension done.. ( hmm, got to negotiate this..)
-Get my "Chu 2" clothes
-*My secret wish come true
-Get a memory card for my Camera!! ( ROAR! )
-Repay my debts
-Get my nails done
Hais, but above all these..
I WANNA QUIT MAHJONG!! LOL
It has cost me alot of investment, lol. Very little income, therefore, I'm gonna quit that for "a while" hahaha.
Was extremely angry yesterday over 2 issues, one was that monkey had shaved his bloody head and joined the army, so...my $$ got to wait all the way back to the 27th!!!! I believe he's gonna come out with another freaking lame excuse, hais. Must be my KARMA man.UGH.
And second..hais, I dont wish to comment further, it'll just make me age faster..
I have a hintch is that how you spell it, that my day for today will be a LONG one. =(
Boo, Im extremely tired, not enough sleep!!!
NO MORE MAHJONG FOR THE TIME BEING!! I WANNA SLEEP!!!
Oh yea oh yea, MY HAIR SUCKS TO THE CORE MAN!!!
Kay, Im off to work..
toodles!
Im fucking FAT NOW!!!! freaking 55kg!!.
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