Morning Angels

Long time since I had my randoms on my blog. Been kinda busy lately, most of the time catching up with the sleep that I've missed out on. Well, been busy catching movies and companying the silly monkey. It's like a long holiday for me.

Updates on my daily life would be back on track I guess...

First and foremost, IM OFFICIALLY TEWNTY-ONE!! Legal!! hahas..looking forward to movies at Yang Ze, or something. Hahas, I dont know the actual spelling for that specific theatre. Well, Im just glad that people I've miss have turned up my celebration, a small one. Disappointed with some, but I shall keep the comments to myself. Im glad for those that turned up and made my day a better one. Thanks for all the wishes =) Special thanks to Pei Shi, Mantianal- Lily, Cactus, Kiku, Lavender, Sheryl, Jun, Dennis, Kelvin, Wei Jie, Feng Chang, SOP-Sherry, Nicole, Ying, Chantelle, Jason, Jeff, Nel ( Bday boy as well ), Mark, Reuben, Terrence, Cong, Lao Da, Collin,.. My ITE mates- Ah zek, Lion, F word, Handsome Ed, Minghan.. HD peeps-Andy,Ym,Daphne..5N2 gentlemen-Josh, Kenneth,JH,Nicolas,Willkie,Mas,Irvin.. Seniors-Cher, Kuan and post celebration by HD peeps-Fen,Ym,Andy,Hannah,Mingwei,Cecilia,Qiaofen,Clark thank you everyone, appreciate it alot, my family, Gynn and her bf, and most importantly Bi-Daryl.


Without his persistance, I wouldn't had initiated any birthday celebrations. Thank you so much bi. It ended off well..

Thank you my ladies for being with me the whole day..Mantianal. Sherry,Jason,Nicole and Jeff. Thank you so much..

And so, I've finally attended Midnight Mass, and finally gone down town to see the Christmas lightings.
This year came and gone so fast, I never caught a good glimpse of everything that past me.


I wish everyone best of health, happiness and fortune for the coming 2009.
Cheers~

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! =)

HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! PEACE YO!!

Untimely

I woke up at this untimely hour cus Im feeling a little hungry and I've got some cravings for CHOCOLATES!!!!! UGH!! I miss the hot chocolate!!

Gonna search my fridge later, this craving is kinda strong, feel like going to the 7-11 to get a bar of it. UGH. Curb this temptation... Boo.

I'm actually home on a Friday, no Saturday early morning already. But it felt good to be able to sleep in. My Xiamen flight was tiring though. Like to the extreme, not sure if it's due to lack of sleep or something, but when I touched down, I felt so drained. Exhausted.

Yipee!! Chocolate is on the way =))
TWIRL!!!!

Tv time..

Tired of explaining.

I've come to a point where I grew tired of explaining. I know that's not healthy, but I guess not everything I do got to be accounted for?. I HATE people yelling at me, showing their anger on me. How great are you?.

For instance, I was filling in some form. Which to me, is kind of personal so, Mr KC came out from the room, immediately my first reaction was to flip the form over. Puzzled, he asked what was it, so I said nothing and straight into his face I said I dont like it. For that he went into a rage flaring up slamming the door and everything. Now I know how that feels. I do need my own privacy, I aint small kid no more. Give me my own space. Maybe I should choose my words these days, it's been quite offensive.

Finally I went for circuit driving today, it was horrible. I was kind of impatient cus I was so used to driving on the road, that when I went into the circuit, it felt so unbearable!! I couldnt drive more than 20km/hr!! the place was too packed. Geez. Saw Uncle Gordon today, hahas, ah pa! I miss your teaching!!..not that my current instructor is bad alright. Just my own preference. Impatient in the sense that everything be it to stop here, or to turn here, etc.. everything was like so last minute, made me so angry. Should have like told me, for circuit you need to drive slow, there will be lots of turnings to do, you will have to pass through .... so on and so forth. At least PREPARE me.. Hais. But it went well after a few rounds, plenty of roll backs today..hahas.

After which, headed down to the stadium for a 2.4km jog, tired now.
Bedtime.

Classroom

I miss a classroom filled with familiar faces, people that brightens up your day be it the skies of grey.. I miss those moments man, be it ITE days or Sec sch days.. I miss being that wilful brat, talking nonsense and laughing so hard.. till our stomach couldn't take it..

Down

I can't feel my stomach cramped up with laughters these days. Cloudy skies are here to stay, and it's been quite a while. My mood fluctuates with the colour of the skies. It's gloomy skies these days.
Buckle up Jo, a storm is coming this month. Monsoon season.

I need more haunted inn clips or something..

Earful

Hearing the same things but harsher. Im at the edge right now. Either ways it's death.
I seem to be a little confuse and it's not really helping with the weekly war.
"Through" has been a frequent word used. Like it has lost it's meaning, instead it became more like a threat to a kid.

How does hate and love coincide?.
I can't rant no more, cus it'll just create more negative vibes..
Now Im tired. I lost the struggle, it only lasted for 2 days and I picked it up again.

Waiting

As per usual, when Im done with preparing and I've still got time to spare before I leave home for work. I'll surf the net, check out my horoscope, check out my facebook and maybe like now-blogging. Ugh, it's really a chore to wake up early. But nevertheless, I'll get to go home early. Can't wait to head back home. Hahas.

So many things going through my mind, be it the negative or the positives. I've got to weigh them correctly, cus my heart and my head doesnt seem to coincide with each other. Which I guess is ALWAYS the case. Gotta reach airport by 0530. Boo. Im lazy seriously. In fact, extremely lazy. Bummer. December is coming, confirmation for the seventy's is coming. Doubt I'll be getting mine.

I've got to start inviting. But who can I invite?. No one seems to be free, and some didnt reply me. But I cant blame them though, I know I've disappointed some, so I have no say on whether Im disappointed in them or not. But yea, this is how far my friendship with them have gone. Time really drifts everyone away from me. And to my own doings, it's getting worse. Somehow or rather I forsee bad premonitions. Blame it on my own doings. Call this K A R M A.
Im merely on this thin line. 21 aint my kind of fun no more.

Too many things, it's bringing me down.
Too many thoughts..
Too many IF's..
Too many doubts..

This little things are all pilling up. Will you catch me if I fall?..

Bleeding love..

Down the slumps

My mood is definately not in the right state. Like as though I had a little too much to drink. Like as though I predict something.

And this time round, something bad. If you have something to say, can you just let me know?. I feel weird. This feeling is overwhelming me, and it's making me upset. Is this the season of falling into (emo-ness). It's like I dont know you anymore.

Finally an end to my holidays. Back to work, gotta wake up at 4am for a morning flight.
Went on a spending spree. Burned a bigger hole in my pocket. Treat my mum to a classic mani and pedicure plus colouring of her hair. She's happier now, I've a little lesser to spend.
At least I've done my part on pampering her. At least something for her, so I guess once a while burning my pocket for my them is fine with me.

Im dreading. I dont like feeling this way.

I better tone down lately.

Goodnights.

December

I hate December. Seriously, so many freaking problems. It's always a vicious cycle. I hate this kinda feeling. I HATE IT. I HATE YOU!! why must it always got to be YOU!!! Can't you just vanish?. Or maybe I should just vanish. Sometimes I really regret making this decision. Or am I just too narrow minded. One way or another, it's driving me up the walls. I can't express myself in words, it always ended up making me feel like im a control freak or something. Woman, sensitive creatures by nature. Or it's just Joanne's nature. Either you stick with it or get out of her life.

I've tried changing and Im glad I changed. No point sticking to the old me, when nothing I did was appreciated. Till it was gone that people learn to cherish. I'm going bonkers seriously. Is this KARMA on me already?.

Lately my sensitivity level has been increasing. I guess it's due to the lack of sleep. I hate feeling depress. It feels so stupid.
Especially when Im depress everything that goes through my mind seems like some mixed up jigsaw. My feelings and thoughts are all jumbled up like scrabble. I wish to make my point clear, but it always ended up with another meaning. I don't ask for alot, I just want the basic, the simplest. Yet, it all blew up. POOF!!.

I'm grumbling all my randoms, it's seriously driving me crazy. I can cry for hours over matters that dont mean a thing at all. How silly is this. I hate DECEMBER seriously. Give me a reason why I shouldnt or why am I behaving in such behaviour?. WHY!! Do I not know how to compromise?, am I really so irritating?, what am I suppose to do?. I feel so pist off so freaking pist off!!! It's not like someone triggered me, it's like the time bomb in me just exploded by itself.

This post is extremely random, I guess it's due to my PMS. It's really driving me up the walls.
I guess I need a sandbag, for me to release my anger, no one seem to be able to understand this. NO ONE. Not a single person, no one. How pathetic this is.

My eyes look like a pair of goldfish. Still no calls.

The cramps are killing me. Nothing seems to be going smoothly.

Im giving up on myself.

Useless.

2 more days

2 more days till Im officially back to work. Can't wait man.
Just woke up, imagine how screwed my body clock is working. I practically bummed around during my leave with nothing done. Becasue of money issues, I held back all my projects. My intention was to:
1- clear up my clothes, so that I can stock up with new ones
2- clear my study room so that my new bed can come in soon.
3- clear my dressing table ( currently a computer table.. with a huge mirror) so that I can get a proper one.

that's about it man. But sadly NONE accomplished.

Ran through my old albums back then in secondary school, I couldnt believe my eyes man. I looked freaking bloated but tanned. I miss the tan. With the weather like this, it aint helping much though. Hopefully I can get to do some decent tanning some time soon, Im sick of being fair. My veins looked freaking scary, like railway tracks all over my body. EEeeww.


December's coming, and I've got no plans but another 5 days leave. I don't know what to do with a 21st celebration, any ideas? my 1st intention was to hold it at my void deck, LOL. I find it pretty cool, but some of my friends objected to it. Then came the MacDonald thought, but I was thinking who will come man, not like I have alot of friends, and not everyone is free, they'll definately give me a " err..I dunno eh" answer, and I cant give a confirmed no. of people attending. ARGH, I hate planning for birthdays. Haven't seen Mantianal for quite a while now, the last was Cactus's birthday. Like in Aug...Geez, everyone's so busy. I'll be back with my busy life too. I have ran out of plans for my birthday, maybe from the 18-22th I'll just do small gatherings with all my friends that are free. A continuous 5 days celebration with different groups of people. UGH. Boring. Else to save everyone's trouble I'll just give you my account no. donate any amount as you wish. A donation drive to save Joanne. Hahas.

It's peanut butter jelly time!!!

Bummer

Been bumming around for 4 days now, if inclusive of the weekends it would have been 6 days already since I last did any flights. The last was an overnight to CKG, which was also when I got my 3rd check. Geez.

3 more days for me or should I say 2 1/2 days before I hit back to flights. I kinda miss the hectic life once a while, it feels a little boring when Im home doing nothing and no income coming in. It feels horrible.
My sis came back from Taipei yesterday, she bought a wallet for me =) brown in colour..AWESOME!! =) It doesn't have to be expensive though, I love the compartments it has inside, it's brown, and it's unique. =) Jealousy boiling inside of me..I wanna go there too. PATIENCE. I'll wait for April'09. PATIENCE.

Confirmation in Dec. Ugh. I wonder how long I'll be extended. =( Geez.

FAT.FATTER.FATTEST.

I wanted you by Ina

Since everyone's been uploading mtv's onto their blog, I find this song kinda nice. Introduced by Joleen.

Couldn't find the MV .. the base a little overpowered too..





Just the beginning..

Unbelievable

Read 2 sets of newspaper on board, the flight was too draggy with too many details which Im too lazy to go into details with.

Thoughts and feelings for what had happened to be in the headlines. Questions surfaced.. same reactions. Why so silly? It was considered quite a detailed description of the whole incident, apart of me was thinking, Damn why wasnt I there..geez.

Tired.Shag.HEADACHE.

Toodles.

All to myself

Jo's leaving for Taiwan tonight, the room will then be only mine all the way till the 19th. Woots`

I'll be going to Chongqing tonight, back only tomorrow morning bout 0525hrs.

Pictures will be uploaded soon into my multiply for Qiaofen's birthday celebration. Stay tuned.

Got to go now.

It's misses.

Gain back what I lost

The carbs are all running back to me all at one go. Im back to my original FATNESS!.
This is crazy, I thought changing a new job would bring my weight down. Apparently, I forgotten the fact that Im a food lover. OH GEEZ~

Freaking 51.2kg GONE! =( It's back to 53 LAGI SAD!!!!!!!!! Like to the extreme. =(

Gotta cut down on supper, CHOCOLATES, SWEETS, POTATO, FAST FOOD. The list just bloody goes on. =( Just today's flight, for the 4 sector, I ate all the way man. CRAP!
Met nice people at work today, enjoyed myself though it's really tiring. Like I feel the ache on my shoulders man. UGH. Seriously I hate the 3rd sector, like to the CORE MAN! But I've got no choice do I? hais. It was a freaking tiring flight, not the crew bt otherwise.

Drive me up the walls balls.
Geez.

I'll be back with post bout my uncle's wedding.. another day. Cus people say Im FAT. So I dont wish to be reminded. HUMPH!~

MOF

Just a short post before I head to bed, went to MOF for dinner. Laugh my ass of man..

Let the pictures do the talking.


Babe if there's anything, be it good or bad,anytime of the day. I'm just a call away.

Dont worry..



[ Premium New Zeland Beef.. ]

[ My claypot Ebi Udon ]

[ The tea..apparently I didn't ask for ice water..]

[ Trying out ways to clip my dull hair..]

Toodles. =)

Nonsense

10 Worst Company Domains


Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com

Alone

It feels empty when everyone's asleep. Stupid EMO shit. hahas.

My "off" days are coming to an end. Back to the real world, been escaping from it time and again. Something which I should be facing head on with. Work. Adulthood.

Adulthood,
It's nearing me. Catching up with me real fast. How did my freaking 20/21 years of life just left me like that?. Geez.

My uncle's wedding coming up next this Sunday, Fatty hasn't shed a single weight man. UGH. Hate this, they're going to say Im fat again. UGH. With more questions to dig out from me. Please make me busy that day.

Bored.Bored.Bored.

Ponder on it

This was another big row.

For the benefit of the doubt it was my fault. The last minute me heading to the airport clinic. But besides that. I don't wish to say further. It's another row that's all.

From now on, no more last minute, I'll go solo.
I hope even it's your last minute, at least I know what's going on. Even if it's an attempt.

Gastric Flu

Went to watch High School Musical 3 at PS. LOL. Daryl was literally keeping his eyes focus on the screen cus he was like dozing off quite a bit. Yea, I agree it was bad. Still preferred the first one. Then dinner at Hunky Tori.. Erm.. I guess Tori Q would be of a better choice.

Met Nic later on for dinner/dessert at Hougang Mall. Slacked around some void deck, and we left bout 11 plus. On my way back , I felt like vomitting cus I thought the cab driver drove badly. In total I puked 8 times at home and 1 time at the airport. It seriously felt like crap. Geez. Doc said it was gastric flu and he gave me a jab to prevent me from vomitting. 2 days MC. GREAT. Now I'm defiantely down for extending of my probation. =( SHIT.

Intense

It's been a long time since it just came rolling down.

Crashed

Eventually I headed down with Nic to Dbl O.

The crowd was crazy, I saw one of my friend posed as Catwoman. Nonetheless, her figure fits well to it. I saw Van and Janet, Eric, Nic's friends, Terry, Ros!! and alot more..

I guess I'll just sink back to seclusion. I feel best there. No more asking for company anymore.

Enough.

Dream

The freaking dream felt so real, it felt so familiar. Like it'll actually happen. Must be too much mentioning of it already. I feel damn affected by it.

Can I just say dont go?. Apparently not.

Im sinking already. I seriously hate this feeling. Im looking forward to my off day.
Which I hope it's a good one.

Fucked up.

Flo Rida

LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW.

Happy Halloween to everyone out there who loves to dress themselves up when they already look like crap. =x

Contradicting shit. Just cause I wont be able to enjoy it Im insulting it. What a loser.

Sometimes, I really wonder why. It slapped me hard on my face. It tore me down.
I wanna see that sunrise again.

Welcome to the fight club.

Nights.

Tired. Grumpy. Hungry

The wind is howling outside as I'm typing away. How I wish I'm still sleeping right now. UGH.
Today's to Solo. Back by noon =) but apparently I've got some halloween errands to run, Bras Pasar. Hmm, where's that man?. Just to get a MS uniform, DOUBLE UGH!. Hopefully it's near Beach Rd or something. At least I can get something for myself just in case I wanna go out and party away tomorrow after my 4 SECT. =( Tired to the max.

I HATE drunkards. REALLY.

Driving yesterday was terrible, I stalled total : 3 times. =( For a freaking right turn. UGH. Where have the fun of it gone to?. I prefer driving without my shoes on =)) and it's okay to be barefooted when you drive during your test. BUT, the disadvantage of being barefooted is that, you tend to use your toe to step onto the clutch, which apparently happened to me and I almost cramped. Hahas, what an IDIOT.

Hais, clock is ticking.
Got to go, got a flight to catch.

Toodles,
Hungry Jo.

TLC

Maybe I've been a lil too much lately. A lil more confidence, a lil more self-esteem, thus it gave me a lil boost and Im starting to voice out.

I dont ask for much do I ?
It's just a small little thing which I believe could have been a joke. Instead it turned the other way.

To EVERYONE please, when you happen to call me on the phone, please do have PATIENCE with me. I'm having a little problem with my hearing, must be due to the loud engines. Either that or my phone is giving way soon. So I'll tend to "HUH?" quite often. Do bear with it. Many apologies.

Im tired. Really.

Another working day for me again tomorrow. A long day. How to pass it?.. =(
I've not even rant out my day for today, nono I mean yesterday cus it's already past midnight now.

TLC.

Jo, what have you done again?..

Drunk

You weigh more than a ton man. Hahas. Currently at my place, he is dead drunk. Sleeping like a log right now. Thankful for his friend to send him to my place and helped me carry him up. Else I'll be spending the night downstairs together with him beside his puke.

To ERIC TAN!. You better WATCH OUT!. Dbl O right, I'll go there to find you some day. IDIOT!.

I can only laugh at your silliness. Your're so wasted.
But I'll never believe what a drunkard says.

571 post

Nothing significant about it. I'm just bored, cant think of anywhere to go. Currently he is doing some stuff to his laptop. So yea, Im sitting here using his com to blog. Half a day gone, oh wells. Weekend gone. Crew scheduling calling me anytime now I guess, wonder what flight I'll be doing tomorrow.

Bored.Bored.Bored.

Girls

Sensitive. YES.

I've always been sensitive bout stuff, though Im known for having a lil elephant. Hahas. I'm sensitive especially if I feel like I've been misunderstood or otherwise when it comes to issues with friends. Never the less, I apologise if I was giving attitude of what not.

Cause I was being wronged before and it felt like shit. It just reminded me of other stuffs. Anyway, hope problems has been resolved.

Concentration

My concentration this morning was off. SO off.
Couldn't fall asleep thus I used the com all the way till 4am. Therefore felt like shit. I was so tired at work, the load was freaking full. UGH. It's all over. =) Sigh of relief.

Today was nothing but the norm.

I believe in what I see for myself. I'm sick and tired till Im immune to it. I don't feel hurt, I don't fear neither do I bother anymore. If you loathe me that much, then you can jolly well dont turn up. What's the use of turning up and showing a face?. No point acting nice to me, when you don't mean it. I dont need that crap from you. You can choose not to answer me too. I tried explaining to myself maybe it's my fault, but that was back then. Things hasn't change one bit. You're still the same. I can't be bothered with you anymore. Do whatever you like. I don't care.

Im tired.
Needa rest.
Nights.

Point noted

Going to have a long sleep.

Point noted.

Been there felt that, I know how it feels. I've not been sensitive bout it. But I'll make it right. I believe in what goes around comes around. Been too selfish lately, got to spare a thought. Insecurity risks are never an easy issue to handle. I know how that feels.

Deceived?

Apparently I still don't get it. Am I really that simple minded till the extend that I can't even tell if this person is good or bad. Im not talking about 1st impression. Maybe more like how much you understand this particular person.

To me, I only see skin deep that's all. I trust too easily. That's my downside. Till it literally slaps me in the face, then I will realise what I am facing. I don't feel any bad vibes seriously, but I do have my doubts.

Looks can be deceiving. I've heard this many times, still?..

What say you?.

First Hand Experience

It was close shave with death last night, but not close enough yet. Till the next time.
Off to prepare for work once again.

My weekends burnt once again. Lucky there's Vi today =)
I bought Ettu Sai's acne concealer, hope it can create miracle. $36! and 2 MANGO tank tops =)
love loves.
Seafood platter for 2 was a killer, I feel so bloated now.

Now they are calling out to me. Eh ah pui. zzz
Thanks so much for that mum and dad. IDIOTS.

Off to work`

Gullible.

Apparently, I trust people too easily till it backfires. How great can that be, it's like the saying goes " people farts and you Tarik ".

At least the tide is over.

Good nights.

Edited--

Preparing for work now, just take a look outside the window..Oh man.. I wanna sleep in too.. Nic is sleeping so soundly that she is snoring right now..Hahahs!! yeap she came over my place to meet up for a while. Oh God I dont really ask for much, but at least a decent load for today, Im so nervous once again. And apart from that, Im feeling sleepy!!!!!! zzz. =(

It never gave me the accomplished feeling. Like it's finally a dream come true!, to me it's just another shift job. Whinning Jo.

Alright, I guess I need to be a little positive, a little more positive. Im looking forward to today's flight and that letter Nic said she dropped into my mailbox. I wonder what it is =))) hehe. It's not a love letter from her, please dont misunderstand, it's from the office. Keke, I wonder and wonder.. =))

Off to prepare now..
Ciaoz`

Blink of an eye

Just with a blink of an eye, my leave is coming to an end. Tomorrow would be back to square one. WORK. Man, I feel as if my leave should have been a longer one, hais. Greedy me. At least it keeps my mind off stuffs, looking forward to Friday/Saturday. Okay maybe Sunday, cus Saturday would most prolly be a sleeping day. Or should I join after work? which is like past midnight?.I guess not. Let him be. Else I'm like a 24/7 glue that sticks to him everytime he books out.

Had another nightmare, this time it was me wanting to leave Mantianal. Holy crap. I can't remember why, but I was devastated in the dream, for reasons I don't know why.

I guess I'll just do some read ups, tomorrow would be my JCL SNY, like FINALLY they planned me a day. To Phuket.

I asked myself that question, and I dont know how to reply.
So dont bother asking me, I'll tell you the same thing that I told myself too.

Jo.

I dont understand

Why?. I thought this phase has long past me, and it wont come back for good. Why? why is it bumping against me again?, what have I done wrong again to be reminded of it once again?. Can't you just find someone else to talk to? Yes. If you have not known, PARANONIA is back.

I cant be bothered anymore. Seriously. Enough is enough.

Grief

So many unhappy events happening around me, till I'm suffocated. I need a breather. My mind has to stop thinking for a while. New problems added, I know I cant help everyone solve everything, but I guess it's my nature, Im simply concerned nosy about everything. Headaches been bad lately, I don't know why. Been popping painkillers, doesn't seem to be of much help. I need to relax..rest. This upcoming 5 days leave would be a breather for me. Hopefully I recover.

Headache is killing me.

Iron and broken nail

Woke up with bad headache this morning, thus I skipped driving. Hais.

This morning felt weird. I had difficulty waking up, as those something is surpressing me. Guess I was too tired, I'm not sure if it was a dream or im subconciously awake, but I remembered hearing noises coming from the living room, that's why I tried to wake up but it was so difficult. I tried shouting but to no avail. No voice came out even though I used all my might, it took me a while maybe a good 5-10 mins? Im not sure but I was struggling. I kept shouting, till finally I hear myself. I woke up both arms numbed, and my head felt heavy. Too tired I guess.

Met up with Nic for lunch at TM - Tori Q =) been a long time since I had that, and it's still good. The tenderness of the chicken and the pickles and the sauce for the rice. It all blended perfectly =) more KGS added. Slacked with Nic at level 4 gossiped and more gossips. hahas. Nothing better to do, we just go on and on, till it was bout 2 plus when she had to make a move. Proceeded to Courts on my own and bought the new iron, as the one at home gave way this morning. My nail broke half way and it hurts like hell. The acrylic came off, and now it's my own nails that's left, freaking ugly.

[ The one that gave way.. ]
[ Pink is the new love =) ]


[ Just look at that fugly nail. ]


A call that caught me offguard.

Thoughts

I wonder if I'm really sensible enough, reasonable and neutral enough?

Many past memories had been entering my head lately, how this happened how that happened, how I went overboard with it, how they treated me. So many flashbacks.. all jumbled up. Worried, sad, angry all filled up in me. Worried of what's happening around me, sad when I had no one to turn to, angry when people vent their anger on me. Many more. I still can't see what my future would be like. But enough is enough, many said my motivation lifespan is way too little, no self discipline on that. And I can see for myself if Im not working on my life, it's not going anywhere in the future.

I need to slap myself up. I've lead an aimless life and it's enough for me already. 20 years of having fun. It's time to buck up and work for something that I want in the future. My aim is simple, just to lead a well to do life. Well to do as in able to provide, to shop, to tour around once a while, my own home. Okay maybe I can stay with my family, just revamp the rooms will do. =)

Step by step I guess.
Nites.

If you just realise what I just realise...

Problems aside

Problems aside for now. I wish I have my own room, I've decided to take the study room as mine. I will start changing it during my leave. Which is coming very soon. 11 Oct-15 Oct.

Think ahead. Think for the future.

Long

It's been a while now since I last updated and I almost forget what was my password.
Many things have been happening lately and it's still ongoing.

My head has been hurting like mad lately.

Departure..Not

My khaki is leaving, both sad and happy. More of the sad though.

Happy that at least she's not stressed up anymore.

1 thing I learn from drifting. It drifts further. Im afraid this would be another drifting friendship. Hais. It's always like this. When Im really comfortable with this person, some reasons have to happen and people starts drifting.

True we can plan something and maybe meet up and all. But I've heard it too many times. I'm one person that cant stick to the plans, always having something coming up at the very last minute. I've lost touch with my secondary school babes. Even that handful is difficult to meet up with them. I've tried planning to meet up, but same thing goes again, something crops up. Or I went awol without any msgs.

Independent loner I guess.

Got appointment for my nails. Got to go prepare already.

Ciaoz.

The call

Received an unexpected call. But I didn't answer, no point.

Last night Chelsea vs Man Utd.
It was so exciting! Chelsea nearly lost! whew, close shave luckily Chelsea scored else the botak would be so upset bout it. He wore his camo helmet running around the living room, it was so hilarious, he's abck in camp :( come back soon.

Tomorrow would be our J class training, batchgirls!!! :)
Picture taking session. GOssips!! hahas. Can't wait.

Prepare for work now.

Ciaoz =)

My Best Friend's Girl

I love it! =) I like this show alot. Dane Cook is good. He fits the role perfectly. Anyways, I just love slacking out on Saturday Nights. Though the initial plan was clubbing but we were kinda lazy so Movie was decided. And Im glad I chose to watch it. Because it was worth it.

Not too much of details here, I ain't no spoiler. Go catch it. =)

Im still eating alot, but surprisingly I couldn't finish the popcorns for once! for people who knows me well enough, will know that at the end of the movie, Im always left with popcorn all over my seat and myself. LOL. I don't know why, but yea. =p

Edited.--
Im changing my daily routine =) see how it goes.

Alright good nights people.
Have a good rest Joanne. Let your god damn mind rest for once.
Peace out.
xoxo,
Jo.

Pain

It's hurting so much! Crap. The tummyache is killing. =(

Para

I fucking hate it. I cant stop thinking bout it. No point yelling either.
Fucking why must what they say be true. What the fuck am I suppose to do now?

Thanks for playing this over me over and over again GOD.
Why put me in such situation. If Im gonna lose it, Im not gonna fucking brood over it anymore.
It's not te same anymore. I knew we lost it.

Weight issues

Seriously, it's getting on my nerves, the munching just goes on. Is this a problem or it's just me that is having problems controlling myself. Im binging man. ALOT. Till it's pretty bad. I've gained so much since he POP-ed. Im not trying to put the blame on someone but yea. Im eating alot, maybe cus my stress level has gone down like way and alot and Im more optimistic lately, that everything I do got to do with food. It's been such a freaking long time since I had weight problems, and now it's back to HAUNT ME again! Freaking crap man, where's my gym sessions and all gone to! PRocrastinations, blame the weather, blame the mood Im in. Everything boils down to me. Why am I popping food into my mouth! is there any alternatives?! Im gonna goggle and see the reasons to why Im binging.



Just last night, I bought black pepper seafood pasta from Swensen's to Dar's place. 2 set. 1 for him and 1 for myself. I ate more than him! ARGH!
He looks freaking slim right now, I wonder where that belly went. UGH!
This is so irritating, the tummy is bulging out already yet I still cant stop EATING!!
This is the side effect of quitting from........but if you wanna live a healthy lifestyle you got to quit that. CRAP THIS SHIT MAN!

LOL. Omg, Im going on and on bout my weight problems..haha.
Oh yea, watched that " Forgetting Sarah Marshall " movie at his place



seriously they are motivating me to work out like real soon, okay i believe people that knows me know the fact that when I say it motivates me, last for maybe the most 3 days, and Im back to square one.



FAT CHUBS is back, I hate it when he calls me CHUBS. Like I rather people say Im slim and all.
Stupid. Nothing will work when Im just ranting.

Fuckomofo.

BORED!

Today I feel a little tired, a little lazy. What a week, this week is bad. On a lighter note =) POP LO! hahas.

Shall upload the pictures soon.

Happy belated birthday GIRL =)

Goh Pei Shi.

PS: This is your 20th birthday.

Sorry wasn't able to celebrate ur 21st this yr, but nonetheless, hopefully there's a meetup soon. =(

Tired

Basically I just feel a little tired today. A little less motivated to work today. =p
But eitherways, Im leaving home soon, be back in the evening.

That's all folks. Im BEAT.

Random

Been reading her blog for quite some time now. Each time I read it, my heart aches, everyone's supporting you girl please don't give up. It seriously tears me apart whenever I read her entries, she is so brave to pull it through till now, if it were to ever happen to me, seriously I wont be able to continue. Hang on girl, the rainbow will reappear soon, dont despair, we're all here for you.

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Went for a haircut at Gatomore today. Hahas, cute name and a cute hairdresser.HAhas. =x
Im like so excited, will be doing my nails tomrrow. Needed a little pampering for myself lately. I need to stand up for myself, these words kept repeating itself in my mind. Enough of people worrying for me. I need to be firm, no more Ms Nice.

Had my long gossip session with Nic today, awesome. My bottled up thoughts all unleashed. hahas. Man it feels good.
Another off day tomorrow, then followed by a Kuching flight.

This week is coming to an end, as in the weekends are approaching. =) and the weekend getaway. It feels good to be alone for a while some time.
These are just some random thoughts, nothing much.

Suicide is not chosen;
it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.

quoted from her.

Golden Bride

Been sick for 2 days now, with fever that's running at 38.3 degree celcius.Stucked at home so might as well watch something to let time pass faster.

Im currently stuck at Episode 35 waiting for it to load finish. It's so infuriating, it's so realistic. I know attractive people always attracts loads of attention.

Apparently this show is about a 21yr old Vietnamese girl who married a Korean man just by looking at his picture as she wanted to go over to Korea to find her father. Eventually she fell in love with her husband, who is handsome but down with a illness that's haunting him for 3 years. "Obsessive disorder". She- Vietnamese girl "Jin Joo" helped her husband " Kang Jun Woo" to overcome this sickness, and he was able to pull himself out of the nightmare.

Now the episode that I'm watching is all about "JEALOUSY". THe killer of all relationships. As Jun Woo is working in a company called " C&P " which his junior "Chan In Kung" is working in. They are sort of like team members at work, she did so much things that seriously made my blood boil. LOL.

ARGH! Im lazy to type out the things she did. But I can so relate to it. It's because of such woman that at times makes the victims lost confidence in themselves, thus doubting in their relationship and all. And the men, always clueless of what's happening. We woman, when faced with such problem, usually would be sensitive, we pick up signs fast but guys always push our signs aside and said we're overreacting.
Now I know. It really reminds me of alot of stuff. SO much. Too much.

Anyway, it's just a show. Im not saying Im facing anything now, it's just something I felt like sharing, hahas. Oh well, this kind of vicious woman, woman with BIG ambitions, to me I think that this woman "Chan In Kung" is nothing. So what if she's a uni grad. She is doing such ... how do I describe such person?! hmm, DESPICABLE!, pain in the ass! hahas, she is playing mind games with Jin Joo, hurting Jin Joo,UGH!

Okay the loading should be done now, back to the show =p

UGH. There goes Taiwan.

No doubt I dont get to alight and walk around, but at least Im going there. Now my anticipation for it is DASHED. They returned me my off day on my freaking Kao Shiong flight!!!! BOO!! =(( now I'll have to keep waiting once again. KHH flight is like so rare to me man. =( The only flight Im looking forward to! and now it's dashed. WTH! =(

APPLE STRUDEL!! Ease my anger!! HUMPH!

Ching!

There goes my $$. I've spent it on
-Biotherm Men's facial wash
-Biotherm traveler's set for combination skin. ( Wanna change brand =p )
-ZA's concealer
-Johnson Bb powder
-Lipbalm
-Cotton Wool from Watson
-Dove Bodywash

G!! no more shopping with you! lol. I thought it was just to get my toiletries and I'll be done, but I guess I overspent. =(

Was late for dinner =x met Sher at Tamp for some Sushi dinner =) Had sushi craving for the whole of today, and it felt great to satify my cravings. It was a major discussion today, which I enjoyed alot. Never ending discussions on what the future has to bring and what do you expect of it. We're expecting almost the same criteria's, just that Sher's are definately of higher standards.

Thoughts,lingers in my head.

Lately

There's been a lot of floating thoughts in my mind, will the plan we had work? Am I working it the right way, did I miscalculate anything. I'm like stuck at the junction once again, to turn left or to turn right? or worst still, U-turn?

My ring broke yesterday, so i got to head down Perlini Silver later, hopefully it could be repaired. It's so fragile. I know how I want my future to be like, but I don't see the improvement, or any effort that I've put in. WHy am I still that insensible, not understanding?..That's me is it?, why do I need so much attention hmm?. Am I stuck now? how to clear the obstacle?. Self-talks lately.

My memory is failing me drastically. Like it's so extreme. I can't even remember the conversation I had with Daryl over the phone, or what my mum just told me a few minutes ago. It's not registering into my head. " Bird Brain".

I was feeling unwell last night, I guess it's the apple juice. I vomitted out all the apple juice and my tummy still feels weird now. The outcome of being greedy, I drank the whole carton yesterday hahas. Was watching "Golden Bride" for the whole of yesterday after my flight. HA!
Kind of addictive when I start watching drama series, I just cant wait for the cable to show the next episode at night, I just chose to find it on crunchyroll. =p

There's one more carton of apple juice in the fridge, should I try it again? hmm. =p

Alright I got to go prepare, it's a long evening later =)
Byeee.

MAX

Totally exhausted to the MAX. Just came back from Cochi not long ago. Freaking tired I must say. I didn't sleep at all throughout the flight, but it was a good flight. The crew were very funny =)

Update later, resting now. Drop it like it's hot!
Madness overwhelms me when Im freaking @!$%#@ TIRED.

Adios suckers.
LOL.
Nites.

Oh ya..I'll end with a joke of the day..

" if an egg takes 5 mins to boil, how long will 5 eggs takes to boil? "
Please tag your answer ya.. =))

Monday

It's Monday once again.
Weekends was madness. After the flight from Friday 15 Aug.

Friday was supper at 126's Dim sum and DURIAN!! omg. Believe it or not, did I mention in my previous entry?, yeap I had DURIAN's! lol. Mum and sis liked the durians alot. Freaking cost $46.80 for 3Kg. Hmm.





















16Aug.
After the flight from Yangon. Met up with Dar for dinner at NYDC and movie at PS. =)



































17Aug.
Woke up late, wasn't able to go for our breakfast. Headed down to Siglap for some Javanese Massage and lunch at Cartel. =)

After which it was driving lesson down at Ubi. =)) It was extremely fun! can't wait for the next lesson. I've stalled my car once, but it was funny. =) The instructor was so noisy! he made so much noise during driving, trying to distract me aye..HAHAS. Back to Dar's place after driving, had dinner and it's his book in time. =(

18Aug. Today.
I'll be on flight to India again. Back tomorrow morning, 0615 hrs. BOO!!

Got to prepare now..
Byee~

Xray/MRI

Went to RMG yesterday to find out what's happening to my knees but to no avail. All they did was referred me to do an xray which shows no problem, and thereafter they insisted on A&E. Doing an MRI scan that freaking cost a BOMB. I guess I'll just continue taking the medication first and see how it'll go. The MRI is not worth it, 900 plus ain't no joke. Where the hell to fork out that amount man. =(

Thanks Nic for companying me to the Doctor yesterday.

Had 126 for dinner, and believe it or not I had DURIAN after. LOL.
I only had 2 and that's it. Hahas, too creamy. I couldn't take it. It tasted horrible, slightly bitter. Not sweet.
We're feeling very tired, thus the temper was kinda bad.

It's another working day for me, please don't let me be S2, I can't bear the pain.
GMT +6 1/2 =( what am I gonna do. Lucky Sheila's working with me today. =))

I'm feeling down. Can someone cheer me up/ crack some joke?

What I want?
What do I see?

I wont back down.

I will never this time around. So what if your name appears again. I want to face you. And see what's up your sleeve this time around. Might be cus I'm lack of sleep that Im cranky right now, but I won't be afraid to face you straight in your face.

We shall see who has the final laugh. I wont back down. Not with you.
You made me feel like shit. Like what they say. Make friends not enemies.

I WONT BACK DOWN.

Edited.
Shit Im having dizzy spells. Leaving for work in 15mins time.
I feel weird like im blacking out soon.

Roster Check

I'm gonna make sure I check my roster before I do a flight from now on. Now I know what it means by after doing an evening flight, you can't operate a morning flight unless you have alot of energy. I touchdown at bout 2035hr yesterday, and I'm suppose to operate Manado which departs at 0925 hrs today. I only slept at 12 yesterday, cus I washed my hair, and I was watching tv. =p
Now I know why Dad drinks red wine before he sleeps, it's so COMFORTABLE!, like you won't have to toss and turn till eventually you fall asleep. Red wine's like an instant sleeping pill, you feel warm and cosy, so all you wanna do is just fall in. LOL.

I feel so exhausted now. Today's my 3rd day of work, I MUST PERSERVERE!!!!!.
I'll operate another 10 hrs, that including me returning home and bathed and everything. I will knock out till maybe bout 2200 hrs?, and wait for my 2230 hrs show, and then it would be THURSDAY!!!!!! GOSSIP DAY!! lol. Can't wait. Nic's meeting me for Cartel's Breakfast. YOu bettter not fly kite alright! HUMPH! hahas.
Okay I feel so much better now, prepare for work! =)

Lucky day

Sher's says Im super lucky today, and I believe it too! hahas. Cus SB's on MC today!! WAHAH! And I was so prepared for the flight, like what I'll expect from it, then it came out fine. =) The crews were VERY NICE =) all was good. There happened to be a birthday crew on board today, and I wasn't aware of it till she told me herself. Anyways, Happy birthday to you girl =) At least today's flight was a good one. =)

Waiting for the call, and the 10.30pm show!! woots! tomorrow's my 3rd day of work followed by an off day. Can't wait can't wait!
It'll be gossip day on Thursday!! =))

TOmorrow would be Manado back bout 1710 hrs. I'll be back with more updates.
Cheers ;)

Red wine, my love. =)

Choices, Changes, Expectations.

People make choices everyday, but not every choice we make are the right ones. Changes nontheless, comes along. As you grow, your mentality changes, follow suit your expectations. Adaptibility comes into place, it's either you adapt to the changes or it'll take you a long time to digress it. All these takes time, it's whether long or short?.

Habit- is a killer to me. I've got loads of bad habits that are difficult to change, but it's possible, I'll just take a longer time. A change for the better I would say.

Attitude- mine has been quite bad lately. Very negative. But it doesn't last long, it happens mostly when I'm preparing for work, I'll release tension like what Dar said. I'll just curse and swear, hahas. This is me, I aint no dainty girl caring bout what's glam or unglam, I'm at HOME, so I'll just be myself, and do what's BEST for me. Scream and shout. hahas. At least I feel better at work =) . It's not that I've got bad crew or what, it's just those you know, days when you just feel like running away from everything?, yea. I'm a bummer, a bummer that prefers working for 3 days and have one month's rest. LOL!. I'll definately be working for nothing if that happens. Hahas.

Forgetful- I've a tendency to be forgetful. So I tend to jot down stuffs be it on a tissue, or anything I can find, as in at work. Just so that I dont screw up my side orders or anything. Maybe it has it pros and cons. The positive one would definately be that I wont be angry with that particular person for long. No matter how angry I could be. After a while I'll forget why I was angry. LOL. Blessing in disguise?, hahas. Here comes the negative, some stuff people taught me, I tend to FORGET too!!, oh my.. hahas. Any idea how to improve on my memory?.. it's not absorbing much.



Expectations- I expect alot from myself, but at the same time disappoints myself alot. So I start off with small expectations like cleaning of my dressing table, vacuum the floor once a while, go for jogs, etc. Small expectations, and slowly move up from there, at least it's at a comfort level for me to improve, because I'm a procrastinator too, so if it's small stuff, I'll be able to push myself to complete it.



Changes- I believe that from years of trying to understand myself, I do see a change in me. I'm somewhat stronger, fatter HAHAS!, more conscious of what I say to people, but to people that know me, I wont bother to think before I speak =p My patience level has slightly increased?, my sleeping hours decreased, hahas. My expenditure increase, so does my commitments. Come what may, it's part and parcel of life. Learn to overcome it, not skip it.



So the morale of the story is..
I'll not take MC today! hahas. It's a secret =))




Just for laugh, me when I was in Sec 3. LOL.

Bad things comes in 3

Watched "Love Guru" after my Friday's flight with Daryl. The show was so-so not as hilarious as I thought it would be. Had Shokudo Pasta before the movie, it was delicious! I had the prawn and eel pasta, while Dar had the cabonara bacon. Mine was better off than his. Hahas, had Macha ice cream!! =)) hmm, what else, hmm, had the mashed potato pizza which wasn't that appealing. Should had tried the prawn,scallop and squid pizza instead..the clam chowder tasted like MISO SOUP hahas. And it was arcade thereafter. The basketball game, we scored 225 ptns thus wasn't able to hit stage 3. We were so close!! 25 ptns away only! Argh! hahas.

3 consecutive days, 3 bad flights. 3 spillage. =(

Dar went back to camp on Saturday. =( So I'm left alone for Sunday. But it was a very tiring day for me. Had facial early in the morning, wasn't able to meet fang and the rest for the BW. hahas. And thereafter facial, I headed back home to rest till evening. Off day wasted!.. Facial yesterday was weird, Auntie Anna had this tool that sounds like those "mosquito killers", hmm you know? those look like a racket which is actually meant to kill the mosquito. Well, aunt Anna had this that looks like a highlighter, but produces that noise!, that going onto my pimples!!! The feeling was so .. I can't explain that feeling. But I felt the little jolt of electricity when she dots it onto my pimples. Hahas. It was said to prevent the pimples from coming out that easily..hmmmm.

Driving lesson was cancelled yesterday, like what Sherry mentioned; Human Error. =(

The instructor thought it was 6pm when his initial message that he sent me was 7pm. =( BOO! and I was so looking forward to it.

Met up with liying a few days back with Sher, and we headed for Swensen at Bugis. Ahahs, and thereafter Keppel Bay is it?, where you get to see nice yatch and stuff. Very cosy area, better than cosy bay. =)

And now, I've got to prepare for flight again. To PHUKET once again. Tomorrow would be Kota Kinabalu. I'll be flying with SB tomorrow! wow, scary shit.

[ Friday night out ]
[ Sher, Myself and Ying ]

=)

I'm so glad you're here once again. =) But it's gonna be a short one. Back there on Sat. =( BOO!

Phuket. I'm loving it. Back to back. 3 days roster. How great. My weekends are ruined. They use to give me so good rosters. Man, what happened. I'm looking forward to Nov/Dec, hopefully something more delightful will happen to me. Maybe for now I still dont fall under the catergory of " Shower Joanne with all your love, bring her joy and chase away her tears. " LOL. What bulls. I'm stilll a troublemaker at work, lol. Still so clumsy, but enough is enough, enough of me with my stupid lack of confidence. Be it right or wrong, I'm gonna voice out. Enough is enough.

TGIF.

I'm a happy girl this weekend. =)

Preparing for work.

Just finish preparing and I'm good to go. But I'm just too stubborn to be early for work. I feel so lonely suddenly. Must be my PMS once again. My temper has been very bad lately. Everyone got it from me. Hahas, I felt bad about it. And what Nic said made me think a lil harder.
"Reflect on yourself first, think through if this person deserves being scolded/hurt by you." So now I'm trying to control my temper, and try to talk nicely to my family members. '

It's been so long and I'm lost without you..
What am I gonna do..

Off to work.
Ciaoz.

Looking forward to tomorrow..It's an OFF DAY! =)

Nightmare-Genting

I believe my nightmare happened at Genting. I guess it's a holiday/tour thingy. Cus I dont see familiar faces with me on this trip. I witnessed the faulty tracks of the mini roller coaster, hearing a weird screeching sound and when the cart was doing the upside down turn, the whole cart which consists bout 6 people dropped down instantly like those you see in cartoon. It happened straight infront of me. And the next one happened on the viking. I guess it's either the viking went out of control or something that people started jumping out of the viking. 2 mens survived, they manage to swim away. Oh ya the viking was somewhat in the water. And a few others followed. It was fucking freaky. I hate this nightmare.

Crap.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 more days and counting. I'm going bersek.

Miss you like crazy.

3 more days to be exact. Im waiting patiently.
It would be disastarous if they call me later. Cus I'm still awake. Standby for the whole of 4 Aug.
Please don't hit the jackpot. NOOO =(

Time waits for no one

Last night, the ladies met up and headed down to Central Mall for Fang's Bday dinner. I forgot the name of the restaurant! lol. Azibo Shabo is it?, hahas. Anyways it's at level #1. The food was okay. The serving was just nice. I didn't know bout the bento set, but mine was adequate. Been spending my days/nights out all day. As long as I've got time to spare, I'll just head out. Till I feel so tired. Exhausted. Even cactus said I looked "qiao cui" = shagged. LOL. Oh no..not a very good sign. I need sleep already. Woke up late as per usual today. Damnit, I still couldn't find the gloves that I've lost. Crap. Is it that difficult to search for one?..hmm. Anyone have any idea where to get one?..It looks like this just that I want it to be in yellow colour.







I'll upload more pics when I've got the time, as for now, I'll lie down a while more. LOL.

Patiently waiting, 4 more days to go..