INSOMIA!! =(

Couldn't sleep last night, tossed and turned, my mind just simply refuse to stop thinking and let me sleep! =(
I was typing random thoughts on my blog last night but decided to delete it and re-write a short post. My random thoughts was rather nasty, a selfish thought, so I decided to delete it.

I wont be joining ken and the rest for the countdown taking place at Expo. But no worries people, the 3rd of Jan' 07!! ..wow, 2007.
I bet I'll be having flashbacks once again tonight. ALOT. I chose to catch fireworks tonight.
May everyone enjoy themselves at the countdown at whereever they are. I'll be at Marina. With my primary school friends.No drinking for me on sucha day. I might just blabber out my Darkest Secrets . Ha!
Oh boy, gotta go prepare for work. =(
Will be wearing a dress tonight. I will be dressed BLACK from head to toe.
"Welcome to the Black Parade"..

Hugs to all.Enjoy this day, which marks the end of 2006 and a new year ahead.
Toodles.

A night away before New Year.

It's a night away from New Year.
Good nights.

All by myself.

Slept my day away. It's like I've not slept for a long time. And today I was a good girl. I stayed home.
My friend asked if I wana go MOMO today, was tempted, but I rejected it. I chose to stay home to sleep. No more drinking session for me.

Was suppose to meet up with yl,ak at inter mac. But it was still rainin when I woke up around 8plus?..so yeap.We were all lazy. Kinda worried for that girl. I hope everything is fine for her.
I went imeem.com to upload songs to my blog. Was listening to a few of X japan's song. Yah, and it didnt made me feel any better. It just made me felt worse. Was very tempted to go MOMO, wanted to drink. But NO. I stayed home.

Meeting up Audrey and the rest to do the TPS project.
At least something for me to do tomorrow. School's starting soon, will be working a lot next week to clock in as many hours as I can.

What is wrong?..
nites.

That's how i feel right now.

Listen to the song and look at the lyrics.

Forever Love

I can't walk by myself anymore
The winds of time are too strong
Ah, what a wounding thing
I should have gotten used to it, but right now. .

Ah, hold me the way I am
My heart, damp as it is
Is being changed at this moment
If unchanging love is there

Will you hold my heart
Catch my tears
All my heart is ready to break

Forever love, forever dream
Only overflowing thoughts
Terribly, sorrowfully, bury all time
Oh tell me why

All I see is blue in my heart
Will you stay with me
Until the wind passes
All my tears start to overflow again

Forever love, forever dream
Be with me this way
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn
Oh stay with me

Ah, I wish everything were ended
Nothing is ended in this night
Ah, what a loss it is
There's nothing at all, only you

Forever love, forever dream
Be with me this way
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn

Ah will you stay with me
Until the wind passes
Now more than anyone else, with me

Forever love, forever dream
I can't walk farther than this
Oh tell me why, oh tell me true
Tell me what it means to live

Forever love, forever dream
Amidst overflowing tears
Until the shining season changes to eternity
Forever love

Reminiscing

It's my off day for today. A long night for me yesterday. Couldn't sleep. My head still feels a lil woozy. Exactly how I felt yesterday while I was at work.It's like the alcohol effect still hasn't go off.

I never learnt from my mistakes. Never. =(

Have nothing planned for today.Maybe I'll be sleeping my day away.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay Im back, can't get some sleep, can't get my eyes off the com.
Read my past entries, and I've like 201 posts including this entry.
Didn't really read all of it. After reading through my past entries, it's like everything just happened yesterday.
How did it turn out this bad?..
Those unhappy stuff that happened.It was seriously very minor matters.Why did I feel so sad at that point in time?..and made sucha big fuss bout it?..

I told people, Im fine, I can pull through.
But don't ask me how long I'll take.

I bet people that views my blog feels like giving me a tight slap. It's like I've said I would forget but in the end, here I am, repeating my misery. Is it due to my PMS that Im feeling like this.
Hais.
Sorry people, I just feel this way.

Melancholy

This is just not the time of my life.

The Pump Room

Von,Me, Ryan
Von and I (Suzhen and Me)
( Look at the Barrel, 3.5 Litres omg)
( My beer and Martini)

Spent my Christmas working away.Eyeing for the double pay hahas.After work went down to Bugis to meet up with Von and the rest.Headed down to Clarke Quay-The PUMP ROOM, Edmond was working there so we decided to head there to check out the new place, hmm, the atmosphere is nice, they have live band, and NO SMOKING =)
Von ordered one barrel (3.5 litres) it taste like Hoegarden to me.Hmmm..
First there was only Von,Ryan and me. Ryan dared me to bottoms-up. Hahas.
3.5 litres was way too much for the 3 of us to complete, we needed backups.hahas, we called down SuZhen, she brought along her friends, DK came down too with his friend.
So yeap in total, 8 people. Suzhen can really drink man, she bottoms-up with Ryan,her friends and me. Wooah` she can really drink man. Suzhen and me had extra order of Green Apple Martini, OMG, EDMOND!!! IT TASTE LIKE CRAP!!!!! I would prefer Lychee Martini man.
Von went a lil haywired, hahas, gotta company her to the ladies now and then.
Silly girl!!! PLEASE! IF WE GONNA DRINK ANYTIME SOON, I think you drink fruit punch will do.hahas, but she was fine after she rest a lil.

TO YOU
Im sorry for giving you so much nonsense.

Well, it wasn't really a nice Christmas celebration.
With everyone around asking "Where's your punk bf?"
all I can do is just "HUH?, =) oh we're not together already"
But they just wont stop there, they will go "How come?, When?, Who broke up with who?"
Okay I know it's just concern, but, repeating the whole thing time and again.
I just refuse to reply further, I just shrug and walk away.
I've just got NO MOOD for anything.

Can't wait to see the happy Joanne once again.
I need someone, someone who can help me pass this soon.
I'm tired of smiling and act as if everything is fine.
TIRED.

Sorry people if my reply to you is kinda cold.
Merry Christmas people.

and J, stop your blardy attitude, I don't wish to scream at you on Christmas Day.

MOS-ed last night.
Made a fool out of myself once again. I gotta learn man. So gotta learn.
Now my head is feelin so big and heavy! URGH.

Im officially taking a step back, alined with friends.
I aint gonna go further. I know where we end.
It was very clear to me last night.
"I dont love you anymore"
It just pierced straight into my heart.
I knew the facts but I just wanna avoid.
Afterall, it still feels better to be friends.
and STOP SAYING MY PARENTS NAME!!
LOL..

Friends =)

Okay just got home not long ago, and now here I am, once again to blog about my day.
Went Bugis with Audrey, she INSISTED on getting me a gift.She was feeling unwell at first when we met up. SILLY GIRL!, please STOP SNACKING!
She looked real sickly when we were at Bugis, I wanted to head home, wanted her to rest, but she's jut stubborn!..hahas..
We went Bugis St shop arnd and finally decided on a top =)
I bought a bag from BagLady, people you should check out this shop, their bags are real nicey =) it's located on the sec lvl.
I bought a shoe or is it considered heels? Mine was black while Audrey's was Red,woot`..just kept myself occupied the whole day, madness with Audrey.. =))
We shop and shop and SHOP!!! OMG, I cant believe I can actually do hours of shopping, I guess it's cus of Audrey's presence, hahas..
We disturbed Van and Von while we were at Bugis, hmmm, they seem real busy.
I took picture with the Christmas Tree, was real nice..made from ermm, soo kee?..if Im not wrong?.

With Christmas round the corner, I felt lonely once again, no doubt I have loads of plans on my mind, and gatherings to go to. I just felt like...
What you said to me still lingers in my mind, it's like a player that keeps repeating itself. Promises that were made..
I don't know why, but this feeling is kinda shitty. =(
I hope Im fine and not go berserk.hahas..just kiddin ya..
Im tired.
Working full shift tomorrow at HD..aaaahhhh

I needa cancer stick.
Out`

Okay Im back with my life. Went topsy turvy lately, I flipped yesterday night. Hahas.
It was nice having a small lil dinner with them.
Okay so now im officially 19 and ya, gonna kick the bucket soon. LOL..nahhs..
Okay I met my manager in the noon for lunch at Fish & Co..and the people there sang me birthday song after we asked for bill..omg..that was embarrassing. I was made to stand on the chair and hold a sparkle high up.That made me look like statue of Liberty..hahas..okok..after lunch we were DEAD FULL!! hahas..we went shoppin a lil, the candy shop is in centry square bullock cart!!! I was like searching for it high and low..hmm..hahas..no la..just searching..and now its in Century Square =)
Took pictures with fen and she bought me a strawberry erm , something for me to massage my back, selling at Mini Toons..=))
And dinner was at Seoul Garden, thanks people for turnin up once again!! I appreciated it loads =)) oh ya..Thanks Shi Hui Sweetie and her bf for the cake!..sorry i was tooo full to finish it up. =( But i liked it alot with that special name ON MY CAKE!..hahas..
After dinner, went ADDICTED, with Ken,JH,Paul and JZ for drinking session,instead of clubbing. Drank to my heart content I guess but I'm still sober, no worries, I still know what I was doing, ya I was msging nonsense I guess.Sorry for that. I guess people are the most daring when they get to drink, hmmm, boost confidence?..hahas..
Cried to my heart content, I hope I wont tonight. Meeting Audrey sweetie i guess?..woohoo..just 3 days and I've gained back all my FATS!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! and it's not even CHristmas yet!!!! aahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! hahas..
Enough of me crapping, going for a jog, needa breather.
I'll keep that "Just between the 2 of us" promise.

PS:People if u happen to be at ADDICTED, go see what i wrote on the wall..hahas..=x
Out'

I just dont feel like accepting it.

Once again, it's another TIME OUT..
I'm afraid of the distance, so no confidence that I feel it's better to let go.
But, a part o fme just wont want to. I'll just wait. I hope eventually it would be the final answer, we had too many TIME OUT..

I feel so iritated by myself everytime this happens, questions kept popping up in my mind.
K was right to a certain extend, what has it got to do with this?..
I'm just holding on to it, holding on.
Thought everything was fine once again.
But, it was merely a thought.
Went for a long jog last night, felt better not thinking of anything and just running.

10 more days to go.Will it be a happy one?.. =(
Just a lil more space for u..
It's killing me inside.


I hate.

Had a heart to heart talk last night, was both happy and sad..
Sad because the love is nt as strong as before..
Happy..cus we've finally got the time to talk about us..
Dear felt real guilty to only come to realise what had become of our relationship..
Things could improve if there's more understanding..
Dear has too much work to do in school, I'm getting my fair share of stress from school too, I hate last minutes deadlines to meet,LAST MIN projects given by the blardy course..ARGH!..
I feel like doing smth special for him, just to cheer him up a lil..
hmmm..that idea just popped into my mind..=x
Hmmm..I tink that's what I'll do!! =)) hmmm..kinda excited..wonder hw will his expression be like..=x..

okok..
Out'

Zouk-ed last night, the place was real packed with all holiday goers. AAArrghh..
It was okay for last night. Mambo was playing me and Daryl's song once again!! aarrgghh..BF where are u!!!! =((

Oh wells, wanted to meet him today, but after I've chnaged and all, I no longer feel like going out..I wana save money for something special..

Died laughing today with VOn,Aud and Van, the first time all 4 of us were laughing like mad. Audrey was our merry maker =)) Skipped BFS once again this week.
Me and Audrey went home first, we skipped our elective, was kinda pist off with the role play script thingy, was unhappy with Annie Koh..luckily Audrey eased away my anger..hahahaha..i used up all my energy laughing. =))
I slept all the way till Dear called me around 6 plus?..It was nice to hear his voice..=))
Miss you so much, if only u appear below my block like the past, which I highly doubt EVER. Im just dreaming =)

I miss secondary school days, when friends were genuinely true to one another.

To a certain extend, I guess I was just dreaming. =(

Hmmm, just got home not long ago from a slow slow jog with mum. hahas, her stamina is worse than mine, no doubt she plays badminton every alternate Saturday.Hmmm...

Why the jog?..Well, before that I was at my GREAT GRANDMOTHER's place, it was her erm..90+ birthday I guess?..hmmm..
Ate alot!!..the celebration was suppose to be held at some teochew resturant in Orchard, but my great grandmother had a bad fall, the celebration was held at her place.
Felt kind of sad when I saw her, she seems to be so much older as compared to CNY, a few months back. She seems so much frail. =(
Went over to ah mah's place today too, was nice being able to see her..miss her so much =))
Hmmm, bf is out to Funan to do his sound set-up for tomorrow, hmmmm..he'll be working..so am I..I'll be working at Aranda tomorrow..hmmmm..work and more work, I've yet complete my homeworks!!!..urgh..there's BCM project, still on-going..hmmm..=( after this project there will still be TPS project..OMG..=( holidays BURNT I guess..since we are gonna graduate in yr 2008 March..so as to be able to proceed to Poly there after..which means there wont be much break for me..AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH... =((
Is this what it's like to compensate back the 2yrs I've lost..=(( hais..

gotta go bathe alr..I smell ;p hahas..
Away`

PS: Some pictures I found at my Ah Mah's place.. the baby is Joleen.

Dear just got home not long ago and gave me a call, hmmm i find him real sweet when he's drunk..but that's NOT THE EXCUSE for more drinks LOL..=x
Well, I shall not go into details with the contents..

Was working ermm..hmmm it's already 5.34 am Sunday..
So yea, while working mmmm, yesterday.
It was kinda HARDCORE..
Working at Aranda in the mornin and Haagen Dazs in the night.
Hmmm, I liked working at Haagen Dazs yesterday no doubt it closes at 11.30pm, just slightly later than usual. But I was workin in the kitchen the whole night, was kinda BUSY..hahas..
Was quite satisfied with myself that I manage to turn up for work and not trying to find any excuse to skip work. It was fun working with Cheryl,Victoria. Okay our manager (Marcus)..hahas.. He found a FHM magazine in the cupboard and I was like "WOW!!" and I browse through a little, I guess Marcus took it home x) lol..
H came down!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!
That's the first time I saw him, and I guess the impression wasn't really that nice I must say, =x
The way he talk to Marcus and stuff, I just turn away..hahahahaha =x
Bird came down too to look for Marcus, just dropping by I guess?..hahas..He had a HAPPY FEET PLUSH!!!! SO CUTE!!!!!!!! he said he didnt want it and I wanted to take it, but since Cheryl liked it too I gave it to her..because it looked a lil fake x) hahaha

Oh ya! I played the video me and shi recorded, they were like "HUH?!" hahaha..I was just laughing away, there were hmmm, 1 dumb customer today, but ohwell, hmm, I feel so much more energetic after Dear's phonecall, hmmm, I'm dead I cant get back to sleep!!! hahass..

Miss my monster, he sure can't recall what he said to me just now..
Should had recorded..
YOU went ZOUK!!! argh!!! BABI..hahas..
Love you monster =))

Out`

Hmm, I'm real tired right now..
Had so much fun just now..LOL..
Met up with Shi fer dinner. Woot`
We went to Whitesands..woah it's like alot of changes I must say, with better shops and most of all..there was BENS n JERRY!!!! hahaha but I didnt had that fer today.
We headed to the foodcourt for dinner and after which Downtown East to walk around, initial plan was to go to the beach but ermmm, on the way there the route was kinda creepy so we gave up the plan. Shopped around the new lil shops at Downtown East and we proceed back to the townpark and played the see-saw..hahahahahahaha..
I had videoed down the funny stuff shi did, but ARGH, my lousy phone. It was too dark..
Shi was real funny =))
There were a few "kids" around. They were real cruel, they smashed the fish they caught by laying the fish below the see-saw and used the seat to smash the poor lil living thing till it was real flat. =( HEARTLESS ANIMALS.. =(( they were preverts man, they were having so much fun smashing up the lil fish =( argh.Dammit. Kinda disturbed by their actions..=( Hais..
I'm so tired laughing so much..
Working two places tomorrow =((((((

ARGH..
Dear santa, maybe I've not been a really good girl this yr, can I have a small lil request?..
I don't really ask for much but I want to spend my time, everyday of my life, being able to face up with obstacles and difficulty with an optimistic attitude..
And everyone around me and defiantely my monster deary, HAPPY,HEALTHY AND NO WORRIES =).

nites`

(hahaha, i guess shi is gonna kill me fer that =x )

Last night was nice, seriously. I liked that feeling =)) It's like it's been a long time since we were like that..
Happy 9th Month anniversary Dear =))
We watched Tenacious D..Woot` Dear was having fun watching that show, hahas.
I love you =) *promises*

Okay, im now in class..im so BORED~!! hahahas..
oh wells, went for S&W today, ran only erm 3 rounds. =p
Zhen's stamina!! OMG!!! she ran like 6 rounds in 11mins++ ARGH!!!!
and now it's BCM lesson..hmmm..
Im bored now..
Friends..hmmm..I was talking to Zhen just now when we were having our break after SW..hmm..true, totally agree with it..
SH call me soon okay?..
PS!! when is our next dating session? LOL!!..
YL & Eve!!!! come out soon too..hmm..a ladies day out!!! to ermm..SENTOSA!!! woot`!!
Please please please~!!! hahah..=))

okay i've crapped enough =p
GTG

[DJ, renewed =) LOVES!!!!]

Done with my bathing, had a long slow jog at the park..
Bad move I guess?..I had headche,DUMB! haha..
Hmmm, it's like I've not been training much for quite sometime now.
Maybe it's time to slowly pace back my stamina.
In a way, it made me tire myself out. =)
I've too much unnecessary thoughts on my mind.

It's so difficult to understand.
And it's not easy to figure out.

nites'

I'll wait for you.

Holidays are you comin soon??!! =( *CRIES*!!
Now that i've sort of cleared my presentations, up next will be "ROLEPLAY" argh!..
Yes, it's once again another roleplay =( *CRIES*
This time round,it's not giving us any ample time for us to complete as the assignment is only given like today..ARGH.
Shall return to revise my IAC..
Away`

Sometimes I just hate it being left feeling like this.

Oh well, went out to study with the girls today, woot a very strict day today I must say. I was strict with myself, made sure I was focus and studying, and I was. But it only lasted for a while, and I started my nonsense..hahas..
Went to the toilet, walked around, went to shop a lil, hmm..
I just kept reminding myself to do well for this upcoming test, kept reminding myself what I want my future to be like, hmmm, if I'm thinkin bout that while i'm studyin, hmmm, am I studying?..lol

Okay, i'm just bored at home right now, downright bored. ARGH.. =(

It was nice to meet up with Eve,Shirl,and ps..=)
Eve and Shirleen was so serious, I just kept myself focus and no fooling around.
So i guess it's considered a fruitful day today?..just that not much pictures taken..aaahhh..hahas..nvm..there'll always be time for next time!!! =))

Shall upload the pics soon.. =)

Okay Okay one last entry before i end my day.
Will be meeting sec sch girlfriends for mugging session, WOOT` =)
There will be a newcomer, shirleen (eve's buddy) WOOT`
I'm goin out tmr!! hahas, after one long day at home, boring myself to death, I guess i just needa get out.
Currently missing my monster soooo much =( *cries*
Dear i miss you =(

hmmm, I have so manythings on my mind,
Oh ya!..sorry felicia I cant turn up for your celebration today..
Sorry sherry I turn u down too..=(
Omg..seriously i feel real bad, it's like I've turn down Sherry plenty of times =( dammit..
and fer Catherine, i didnt turn up for work..aargh..

Weekends are gonna be over soon..aaahhhh!!!!
Save me from the boredom, need to keep oneself hyper and active..hmm..are they both the same meaning?..hahas..
Oh wells..
My head is starting its random beats once again, better rest soon.
Nites people =)

It was the biggest joke ever today.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Neither had I king horses or any kingsmen. Hahas..
I only had 4 angels and not forgetting my Darling Daryl.
I fell in my own toilet!! my own, HOME toilet.
The floor was real slippery, one foot in and I just slipped and fell hitting the back of my head against the hmmm was it the tile or the metal?..
Everything happen within a few seconds and I'm down, flat on the floor.
The pain was extreme, i held on to the back of my head.
When I've finally settled myself lying downwards on my sofa, I took off my hands to realise that my hand was filled with blood.
But nothing much happened. It was only a small cut, and a few bruises here and there.
Thankew my sisters "jo's", Pei shi ( my personal nurse ), Van and of cus Dear =)
im fine =)
My mum just helped me clean my wound was painful, feeling slight pain and headache.
Oh wells, shall turn in now, tired.
Working at 10 tmr.

Nites'

Blardy hell!!! i just cant get to sleep =( argh.
i so happened to pass this person's blog, and im tryin out the quiz now since i needa do smth to make myself feel sleepy.

What i'll answer when people ask me these questions:

[WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THAT]
me: cus I'm like that?
[I JUST REALISED NOW THAT I LOVE YOU]
me:then how?

Okay its a little stupid I shall nt continue with the quiz..her last part of her entry was..

love dont mean changing who you are to be
who somebody wants you to be.
nobody got to belong to nobody's.

I cant seem to get back to sleep..
Reached home alr?..
Don't know what I'm thinking about now.
Quite a number of our classmates still online, all rushing project.
I'll go do mine too since I cant sleep.
Bye'

[2.40am]

Im back again.
I seriously cant get back to sleep.
ARGH. =(
Some random thoughts on my mind.

[4.46am]

im still hanging arpund cant get to sleep.I went bloghopping, was stuck with Dar's blog. From his past entries till his current. I miss the "honeymoon period". The times when we were so sweet to each other.The first time he waited for me below my block to give me a "flower" =) He thought I dont feel surprused or anything, actually I was just that I didn't show it. I was just too surpried.

Few months back we were like missing each other so much, meeting almost every night below my block, now it's like everything has died down.

The randoms thoughts in my mind. Is it more interesting to be mysterious to others so that they don't know what ur're thinking and they want to know you better, spend more time with you?..just like our starting, I miss the beginning. That's only like the first phase of our relationship, there is still a long way to go.

Now it's only the second phase we're going through, he is going to be real busy with schoolwork, I'll try my best not to irritate you.

Sorry means nothing much, maybe once or twice, but it has happened more than those few times. Everytime I get into shit I apologise, now the "Sorry" means nothing, don't give a damn. Dear's very stress with his schoolwork. So am I with mine. I hope things don't turn drastic, we were so pist with each other that the bomb was nearly dropped once again. ARGH.

Now it's 5am already, and i've yet to get some sleep still. =(

I need you.

Will all these go to a waste eventually?..when was the last time we had a heart to heart talk,

I miss lying on ur chest and talking about us.

I miss having shopping with ya.

I miss the messages you used to send me.

I miss having fun at Toy R Us.

I miss you hugging me.

I miss just having you beside me.

I miss you.

Bad Day

It was totally crap today.
I've screwed up my BCM.
Didnt called BF after I've finished school, went down to Bugis to pass Kenneth the CD instead.

Maybe its due to the hectic workload.
It's like it will just happen anytime.No longer able to be able to put up with it.
Kept silence,
Wish I could just turn back time.

argh, hate presentations

Once again, I was vain =x

Thought my days of staying up late to complete the presentation slides had paid off.
But it's still not up to Ms Chan's standard. Now she tells me my focus is a little wrong.
I've had enough, I'm not gonna edit any further. =(

Met up with SH,her bf,YL,JKSS last night and we went to the Khaki Bukit CC and ktv-ed the night away.hahas.
Bought SH two small slices of cake from Galilee.I use the excuse of meeting Daryl, LOL
Left early and reached home around 11plus 12?..as I had to catch the last bus and return home to help dear burn the CD he needs.
My dark circles are coming out and there are visible zits on my forehead, aarrgghhhhh
Took come snap shots when I got home, my phone's camera was real lousy, the quality for camera is still my K750i instead of Z610i.

Load off me =)

Finally!!! Finally the paper is over!! =) but =( BFS is coming up and I've got in total 2 presentations for tomorrow..urgh..

I've just completed 2 of my presentations, I can sing to my heart content tonight =)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MS HENG SHI HUI!!
Kinda lazy to blog further, shall upload pics hahas..
The coffee was disgusting *yuckks*
It's time for EXAM!! urghh

presentations

Okay so I guess it's not only the Poly students who gets to feel the stress of presentations that has deadlines which are drawing near. I am facing that crisis too. ARGH!!..well it's not only me but everyone in class and the whole of accouting and other courses students.

Well, I just manage to complete my presentation slide for my BFS, which is like happening today ( 21 Nov 06 ) at 2pm!..argh..well, this time round my slides werent done with much effort. Disappointed with it. Yet, I'm not going to do something to it. There's too much information that I've come to realise that I've missed out only- NOW.
My topic is on "Credit Cards", I know it sounds simple. But seems like I'm just not putting in enough effort. After today, I still have BCM presentations on Wednesday. ARGH, everythings too last minute to be completed now. I wonder how bf can complete it last minute?..=(
Not only do we have presentations on Wednesday, we also have our IAC exams as well. DOUBLE STRESS!!! =(

Okay,enough about school work.
Met up with Bf just now, had dinner =)
Kenneth came to meet us, chatted and stuff, well got a little, just a little bored when their convo was on games, which I am alien to. Oh well, therefore I took Bf's phone and "Spot-Check" I guess that wasn't a pleasant move. I felt the pang of jealousy hitting on the door to my head, but I just ignored the knocking, and calmed myself down.
The feeling soon subsided, I kept telling myself inside that I should trust him.So yeap.
Mas came after and we headed down to JKY. Was speeding on the expressway, and the cool breeze made me shiver, hahas..
Argh, holidays!! when are you comin?!! please come soon?!!! =(

Everythings gonna be alright,
Everythings gonna be okay.

It's not the end don't give up!!

Welcome to the black parade

Currently, Im stuck to this song.

Went out to study with SH ytd, well, im still stuck with quest 3 & 4.
Slacked till the wee hours, met up with 2 other of our frens, slacked and crapped the night away.
One of my fren was having CHICKEN POX!!..i was so afraid that i might catch the virus, at first we wanted to catch a movie, but nahhs, by the time the my fren came it was already too late to catch any movies.
Therefore we ended up in Macs.

Went gym before meeting them, had fun tryin out almost all of the machines besides the weights.
The culprits involved were, nysha,von, aud and me.
There were this group of girls, me and Aud were on the treadmill, and i felt weird that this particular 2 girls were standin behind, I thought they were waiting for their turn to use the treadmill. But actually they were being childish?.. Well, kids this days.

Some random thoughts on my mind.
I need to talk to someone but who?..
Its a whole new matter all together.
I can't cope with this.
This is not my life anymore.
I just wish that nothing happens to my family.

joanne's BACK!

Just some little problem lately, all is fine now.
Problems resolved. Friends constant advises and all..Thanks alot ppl!
Especially, Yvonne,Audrey,Van,Dk and MY ever best listeners!! SHi Hui and PEi shi..

Thankew guys fer listenin to all my nonsense..

Things are going for another higher level,
It's just whether we'll be able to pull through or not.
Through these 4 days..
And what you had told me today.
I guess I'll learn to slowly let go.
I wont hold you down anymore.
Life gotta go on. Be it with or without you.

Love you =)

i jus died.

Back from school, feeling like im missing something.
Was miserable in school today. I cant sms.
IAC was alright. But BFS was crap.
I didn't studied for the test and I gave rubbish answers.

Nothin much for me to blog.
bye.

Im getting more unreasonable these days,
Even I myself at times cant stand what Im doin.
The deadly question appeared in my mind.
As it ever happened before, Im afraid it'll happen on me.
Im sorry, but my unsensible ways are getting me all out.
I wanted to end stuff last night.
He told me to talk tomorrow.
I feel so lost. I know it's not his fault things has come to such an end.
I've grew toooo sensitive that Im no longer sensible to handle stuff.
I've become sensitive, unreasonable and worse of all, childish.

It's all so wrong.
Im sorry.

PIST OFF

PIST OFF!!!!!!

I cant msg/call..I CANNOT DO ANYTHING....
I can only stare at my bloody phone and do nothing, maybe taking pictures..that's all..
Arghhh, hate this.
My phone just wont ring the whole day.
Hais, so now I know.
Im the one who always calls out or irritate people with my msgs..
I have not collected my pay at Aranda, hope I'll be able to wake up early tmr to go collect it.

My life now revolves only around-HOme,Work,School.

Never again..

I'll never want to do anything to my hair anymore for the time being.
It's very short =( I miss my long hair..
Met up with bf last night after work and he told me it doesn't look nice..=(
Hais..
Was working yesterday, skipped school, was boring at work as per usual, did a delivery at Kim Chuan Rd..was damm creepy, as it was on the factory side, and it was a Singtel Bldg.
Rained heavily, was afraid that if I were to be caught in the rain, my head would be dripping with purplish-red water. hahas..Luckily I wasnt caught in it.
After went back to Tembeling, I guess I was feeling way tired. I started with all my nonsense.
As yong li had to go over to Springvale to collect the weighing machine and Kat gotta go over to Springvale to work. The shop was left with me and Kelvin.
I went to wash the dishes and the next thing heard were "enchanting melodies" LOL, in total I broke 3 glasses, or was it 4..hmmm..not long after Yufeng and Yong Li came back, and it was about time for me to leave, talked a little with them, about the ghostly encounters once again. Hah, it kept me awake,Ha! chit chatted.

I was blardy tired last night. The moment I've reached home, got my self changed and doze off soon after I've hit my bed. Woke up suddenly around 1.20am and called bf, he was still awake..ahhas..as per usual..
Didnt chat much, just kept making fun of each other, so now I'm called tutrtle to him.
Urgh..
I cant be bothered to look into the mirror for a second look anymore.
Self-confidence another level down.

And I've not done my homework.
Not in the mood for it.Argh`

Gotta prepare for work soon, workin at 5 today at Suntec HD.
Drop by people,
I need another honeymoon period to tide over this.

Feeling real tired easily lately, no doubt I don't do project and stuff..
Not sure what I'm tired with..
Dear been very busy lately, we chatted about our relationship..
There's stuff for me to chnage..
I'm not going to be that irritating to bf anymore..

Oh ya..went for highlight today.Now it looks better I guess?..hahas..
Went with Audrey..hahas..she had her golden highlight..was kinda obvious..
The whole session lasted about 4 hrs plus?..hahas..
We went TM to shop and had lunch..
No doubt it was rainin heavily, I still turned up for training.

Oh yupps, currently I wont be able to reply or make any outgoing call, temporary my line is cut off..but u guys can msg or call me..I'm still in a way, reachable..hahas..

Nothing much happened today..

I miss you.

TIRED`

Im DEAD exhausted.
Well, nothing much in school today, skipped BCM once again and accopmanied Audrey to Novena. I seriously think that "MC" is worse than my previous work place. They can actually delay so many staffsssss pays. Yes you heard me, not one not two but STAFFSSSSSSS, take note of the "s". But we left earlier, cus I went to meet bf.
Me and von left first, sorry Audrey..
We were suppose to just draw money and leave the mall..hahas..but we loitered around and ended up in Cold Storage.LOL

Von bought a whole spring chicken for her dinner, LOL and I bought Sushi, Choc & coffee biscuit and Ruffels for bf.
Eventually we took cab, hmmm, the driver was some wad scary..hahas..but i just ignored it.
Talked about loads of stuff while we were on the cab, hahas..
Well, perceptions of people..hahas..or rather we were doin the usual..GOSSIP hahaha..
It's nice just chit chatting, I miss my chit chatting sessions with all the girlfriends..hahas..People please meet up with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahas..Oh well, after dropping von off, she sent me a text msg warnin me of the driver, hahas..
Seriously speaking, the driver was kinda reckless.
He was constantly tail-gating other vehicles, that's scary..
hahas..
Oh well but I reach bf's place safe and sound.

I wana know what you were thinking!! you only told me half and not the other!!..
I wanted to follow bf to the air-port but he refuse to let me do so..
So I was abandoned.LOL
I left for TM and shop ON MY OWN.
And witnessed another sad incident, a young girl's feet was trapped in the escalator towards the 4th level. It was a scene, with everyone crowding around and stuff, well, nonetheless, I was one of those suckers that wana know what happened. hahas..
But the resuce team came shortly and the girl was saved. Luckily it was only bad bruise and blood clot i guess?..I didn't had my specs on. LOL..

Oh well, my thoughts and feelings for the whole situation is that, SINGAPOREANS are defiantely KAYPOS, they form a crowd fast and disperse fast too..hahas..
But seriously, I guess there should be more precautions against escalator and stuff, to prevent any more harm done to anyone.

Bye for now,
Im gonna rest before heading back to study.

attention NEEDED!!

I think I'm deprived of attention. LOL!
Went out with bf today for a little shopping trip @ non other but our favourite Tmall.
Well the reason why we're there was to get a vball for my sis.
Arguments happened once again. =(
Well, but the bad aura is gone. We're fine again. hmmmmm..
My conclusion would be that, I shall never ask bf out anymore.
Hahas, I have my reason for that =p
We saw this girl and he thinks she's HOT okay, fine I agree.
Saw Allan and his gf while waiting for my monster to arrive.

Well, it was nice just to have bf around..BUT!!! I cant stand it when he wants to irritate me..
He carrying me today..LOL..I'm SHY!!! okay..and I was told to lose weight..argh..
HAhas..
Went down to try the vball with my sisters..LOL..
The ball was kinda HARD..but I guess it's okay..yeap..

Outs'

Contradicting love..

Love is just so complicated.
Love grows when time gets by..
and my love for you is growing strong..
Orh oh..that is a bad sign..
Whenever I fall deeply in love..things gets bad..
I dont wish bad karma to happen all over again.
I love you..I hope your love for me is true too..

Went to work once again today,
was dead tired..
I missed you so much today..
and u gave me the cold shoulders..
And even to the extend of scolding me..
Saying that im irritating you..

Now that you have finally told me the truth..
I Love you!!!! ;) hahas..
Yes silly boy..I wana meet ya too..
Just cus u were asleep..that's why i didnt meet you..
U silly dumb MONSTER!!! hahas..

I love you =)

bored

Im feeling so bored!!! and the project is boring me out more.
Im left with 1/4 of my project before its done.*PUKES*
Argh, projects...they're just a BORE to me. Luckily im completing it soon.

Okay, I guess I'm not meeting him today.
Seems like, we've only met up like one day this week.
OKay. I miss him!!!!! =( oh well.
I better get back to my project, I needa puff!!! argh..

when the missing goes bad

miss you alot today..
was nice when u called me..but i didnt had the chance to talk to u..cus work was busy..
Guess u're mst likely sound asleep..

Didnt had much appetite at work today..
When i ate a little..i vomitted..urgh..
Guess was due to the night before..
I didnt eat anything almost the whole day..
Well..guess the gastirc is kicking up..

JH has FINALLY sent me the pics..
hahas..shall upload it mayb tmr or Sunday.

alrights..
gtg..
nites'

whines..=(

I guess it's only me and my blog now.
I dont wana whine to him or else he'll say im irritating him again.
I just dont seem to have any motivation to continue doing my project. I just feel so emo all of a sudden. He called me after i msged him =) but it lasted fer a while and my emo feeling is back to sit in and makin me feel so lonely all over once again.

People msged me early in the mornin today, let's see..
the classic one was by sh..her whole group of logistic people were out to Sentosa today and she jst wanted to show off that to me..well, I did felt a little jealous that's all! humph. hahas..
Nothing much for me to look forward to.
Maybe work, but I dread it, feel like skipping work but what you said to me still lingers in my mind, WARNING me..

I guess I'm just dumb.
When I got the attention, I ignored.
Now that I don't I feel like some sore loser.
DUMB it is, I wonder what's wrong with me with all these negative thinkings.

I hope it aint coming.

Oh ya, I've got to get my sis her vball soon..

Why would people continue to wait when they know that, the person they like/love has a bf/gf? i've got no idea, but it's said that it was worthwhile even though they know that the outcome in the end might not be what they expect.
That's so complex.

oh well'

Busy.

Schools' getting more busy lately.
I've got BFS oral presentation coming up and BCM co-currently too.
And now since I'm home. Finally sitting down to sit in front of the computer.
So I'll do some research and at the same time update my blog =)

I've learned how to put on make-up. Some say I look better, whereas for some they say I look better without it. Well, not really into it already.
Went to work Aranda on Monday, worked with Ade =))
The moment she saw me, she told me to cut off my hair.........argh, cus she said the condition was bad. =(
It's still best working with collegues u know.

Worked at Haagen Dazs ytd, fen came down she lost alot of weight, 47Kg sia. I think i wana go Vivo and torture myself and lose some weight. hahas..

And for today, =))
It's actually the 8th month of Dar and me =))

No doubt we don't really spend much time together. I guess understanding is needed here.

I Love You.

IN Town

Woke up real early today, bout 10plus? and received a msg from Audrey.
We went for free eyebrow shaping stuff. =))
I like the shape now, no doubt it's only trimming and stuff, it looks neater =))
Wasn't really into shopping mood today as I was having 'The Thing of The Month' so I was like very quiet. Sorry Audrey =(( but we're gonna have fun soon!!! ;)

Audrey helped me make-up woot'
We went to tried on clothes at Top-Shop,Zara..hahas..
Gossiped, took loads of pictures and I was literally staring at myself in the mirror whenever i get the chance to. =p

And now i can't upload the pictures!!
I went anal today. Must be 'that thing' that made me feel this way..
I grew so sensitive, not the way it's suppose to be.
Picked fights. Was sent home.
TOTALLY DUMB MOVE. MY lost. =(
It just wasn't my day. Wanted to meet him so badly, but no. I screwed it up once again. I just needed that attention. Dumb. It nearly ended once again.

Went home like some sore loser, crying her eyes out once again.
Fell asleep while crying and now im up blogging.
I just wanted to meet him, well he was right, he had a long day in school, would had been tiring for him. Sorry i wasn't understanding. I got too carried away as I wanted to let him look at my make-up, guess it was dumb.

I've got to change for the the better.
I've got to work on my attitude. It's driving Bf nuts. =(
I feel like i miss him alot all of a sudden, but the next thing i know, we'll be quarrelling.
Argh we're tired of fighting to the extend where the situation would be DRASTIC.

Bf called me just now, talked things out nicely.=) It's okay.
Changes and more changes, I'll try.

"It's not easy, but I'll WILL try cus of US."

im back =))

ALright how long have I not bothered bout my blog this time round?..hmmm

Well i'll start with the Sentosa Trip on erm..Tue 24 Oct 06

Meeting everyone at 10am. Met up with Ken and Jh at Tamp plat frist followed by Josh at Simei and Mas at Tana Merah. All alighted at Bedok plat as Mr Daryl was late once again.LOL
All were so excited about the trip as they expects to see LOADS of HOT CHICKS. Argh, don't understand them, they look like desperado's. What made it worst was my bf joining in the hunt. =(
We reached there around erm, 12plus?..We freaked out when we saw the humans at Harbour Front. The queue to the shuttle bus was way too long for us. Therefore we went for lunch first and took cab down to Sentosa.
We headed to Siloso Beach. Urgh, boring. I was left with nothing to do while the rest started hunting. Taking pictures, urgh horrible. =x
Was like acting SINGLE once again. Oh well, and they played soccer with my vball which landed high up on the tree together, resting nicely right between the coconuts. And the advance player was MR Daryl once again.
Didn't play much games, I guess their motive there was to LOOK AT GIRLS, so I just sat on the sand, look after our stuff and build my own sand castle. JH sat beside me so i chatted with him, hahas, or else there was really nothing for us to do. I grumbled alot to him both DAryl, bout how girls checked him out and how he smiled back and stuff, hahas.
In conclusion- The whole day was spent looking at girls, even BEns & Jerry's girls were unique to them.
Urgh!!! guys out there! where have all of you gone?!!! =(
I WANT ATTENTION TOO!!!! boohoooo`

And i didnt meet up with the girls..=( boohooo girls i miss u.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

25 Oct 06

Nothing much happened, or is it cus i couldn't remember?..hahas
Went to school per usual and went to work.
Was like a dead zombie, I need batteries, hahahs..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

26 Oct 06

Finished school at 4 yesterday and I had choosen my oral presentation for my BFS.-Credit Cards.- Wooohooo i've got to start with my slides omg, I've got to rush man =(
Met up with Bf and the rest for dinner at PRS central and went over to Paul's place to slack, and there we looked at our secondary school day's pictures and we laughed our heads off and DAryl has to LAUGH AT ME!!!! urgh..

I'm getting more and more ugly, hais.

Home

Spent my whole day at home.
Talked to Daryl on the phone this afternoon.
It was suppose to be one of those "teasing" each other conversation.
And to think that it turned out to be another fight.
The content was some what unreasonable and insulting.

Been having porblems going on these days.
Kind of big prob for me.I hope days get by soon.
I can turn to no one when i've got a problem.
I'll learn how to cope with it. It's not that im acting strong,
I don't need people to resolve my problem, just need someone there for me to lean on for a while.
I don't even feel like turning to you if i have problems.
I doubt you will view my blog either.

Kind of depressed lately, my own problems, fights that Daryl and I share almost everyday.
No comments further.

Recalled what my BCM lecturer Mr Hari told us.
It's actually a joke.
He told us that his progression students have some problems with their command of english, maybe it's due to the frequent use of abbreviations that they grew used to it.
Well the student was suppose to hand in his project to Mr Hari, as the student could not locate Mr Hari, he texted Mr Hari a message and it goes like this.

"Mr Hari, I've stuffed the thing in your hole..it was difficult"

Maybe by plainly reading it through my entry the effect won't be there.
But i was laughing like mad when Mr HAri told us that.
Me and Audrey, we laughed like mad.

The student was actually saying that he has left his project in Mr Hari's pigeon hole and he had a difficult time putting the project into his pigeon hole as there were too many things in it.

Oh ya! We actually have a MEDAL!!!
We came in 3rd!!!
And we got a MEDAL!!!!
=)
i'm happy bout that.
JUst that i left earlier that's why i didn't got the medal.
It's with Melissa now, gonna get it from her on Monday =))

Seems like i've blabber enoughed.

Gone'

Whole Day

I slept my whole day away yesterday.
Daryl was out fishing with the usual gang, and I was sleeping all the way.Hahas.
Went for singing club yesterday, hmmm, i'm not sure how if I would turn up for the next session because the lesson was a little dry on the theory part.Hais, see how it goes.

I hope things would be better for us.
I always thought I wanted it that way, but no.
I believe we could be better to each other.

misses'

tired life

School has started and i'm like very tired lately. Falling asleep real easily.
Many things to blabber about but nahhs..
Had too much things happening all at once that i nearly did something real foolish.

Went for competition yesterday with my eyes barely able to open. I didn't had rest the previous night. That feeling of losing someone. I was like some sore loser crying my eyes out. I went berserk. My parents thought what happened to me. I was shocked with myself too. I think i really can't handle my emotion well, that feeling was scaryt it's like i'm literally going crazy. But all is fine now. =)

We lost the match, was pist with myself. I wasn't performing at all. NOT AT ALL.
Now it's all over. No more competition. Until next year. Hais.

After match i went to meet Daryl.
Went over to his place.Fell asleep at his place.
Met up with the usuals for dinner at 85.
As we ended our dinner early around 9 plus, we decided to head to Daryl's place for a round of Mahjong.
They played their Mahjong while i happily fall asleep as soon as i hit the bed.
Only to wake up every 10-15 mins? When they have finish one set and Daryl would pull off my blanket waking me up. Trying to make me cry huh! hahas, because the other time at the chalet, I was feeling real tired so i fell asleep but he came to disturb me and I CRIED. hahas
We left Daryl's place exactly 12 MN and wanted to take cab. But since the cab could not take 5 persons, we companied him walked back to his place and we took cab from there, thereafter. People involved in sharing cab was JH,Ken,Paul and myself.

I still feel very tired. Argh. Feel like skipping school today. BUt NO!
Meeting the girls at the interchange later.

No doubt sh wants to JUE JIAO with me. LOL
Thanks girl for being there for me yesterday =)
Your're sweet! (Not kidding)

Alrights got to go prepare already.
Bye'

First Day of School

Alright alright, it's the first day of school yesterday. Which marks the start of Sem2!
First day of school and we're late.LOL =x
There are 2 classes for IAC woot' and i'm with Audrey in Ms Belinda Ng's class.
Hmm, the format for the Trading, Profit and Loss which i USED to know is TOTALLY DIFFERENT! hmm, and i've got COMPETITION today and will not be ablt to turn up for lesson! oh no!!!! and to think that lesson proper starts today argh!!
And for my elective, i am in BFS (Banking and Finance) different for Audrey and the rest, DK was BAD!! real BAD! HUMPH!

Got to reach school by 7am later, that's the reason why i woke up so early.
Going Bukit Batok to play match.
WOOT'!

I hope everything turns out well today. (wishes real badly)

Bf CUT HIS HAIR!
He went to cut morahwk, comp0naied him back to the salon yesterday to trim his hair, layered. Nice.
Now he thinks i love him for what he is not who he is. =(

I hope things could get better.
Now that school has started.

i got to go get ready already.
ciaoz!

WISH ME LUCK!

JUST FUCK IT.
LOATHE IT.
WE ARE ALWAYS LIKE THIS.
HATE MYSELF BECAUSE OF YOU.
IGNORE ME FURTHER.
MAYBE I DESERVE IT.

WHAT'S LOVE.

pouts'

Woke up real early today. Reason being, Daryl called me.Hahas.
Was wondering if i was angry and stuff for not meeting up yesterday. Nah im not.
Talked so much about his "hair". So promises could be broken with fingers crossed.
That's something i just learned.Ha.=(
Ranted,shouted,laughed, giving me reasons and excuses for not cutting his hair.Hahaha.
Oh wells, up to you to decide, i ain't going to nag any further.
Since i was up so early, i did some uploading of pictures to my yahoo photos and i've linked it to my blog. Check it out under my "Museum".
Arguments surfaced when the conversation went on.
"Love me for who i am"
Hmmm..okay.

After uploading my pictures and nothing to do, decided to call him. But he didnt pick up my call, guess he fell back to sleep or just doing his stuffs.
So i went blog hopping once again. One of my friends blog hit me.
It's bout relationship once again. Which i found was applicable for going on a long term r/s.

When you,me and everyone would be thinking if they were with the 'right' one.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, it would be all sweet lovey dovey aka 'Honeymoon Period'. Anticipating their phone calls, their touch, and everything of them.

It's easy to fall in love, when the feeling is there, when you tend to crave for more of the person. Even simple messages received would send us up to cloud No.9

But, after a few mths/yrs feelings fade.
The natural cycle of every relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls becomes a bother, touch is not always welcomed, and everything about your partner becomes a nuisance to you.

HOWEVER TO MAINTAIN A LONG TERM R/S, IT IS NOT FINDING THE 'RIGHT' PERSON. BUT "IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND"

Sustaining love is not an experience. It'll NEVER just happen like that.
"Lasting Love" can't be found just like that.
You have to put in effort.
That's why there's an expression called "The Labour Of Love".

Intriuging is it?..well i copied and paste, didn't really rephrased this entry.
But in a way, i kinda understands it.
Well, there's differnet opinions i guess?..

off'

3D2N

Im back! after the 3D2N chalet.

The first day of the chalet didn't do much, because i had to go back school for training.
So by the time i got back to the chalet i was kinda tired already.
Played MJ and some PS2 games.Hmmm, yups that's all that happened the first night.
As all crammed up the sec level, i slept downstairs on the mattress with dar.
The people upstairs complained about the air-con the next morning because they were freezing upstaris, espically Paul hahaha.No doubt i was tired but i didnt really sleep well cus bf was snoring, and before he could really sleep, i was disturbing him like crazy, hahas, i kept singing songs to him, irritating him.LOL, but we quarrelled after that and it was quite bad, he wanted to hit my phone on the wall. Argh.

The next moring, all woke up real early, around 7plus 8?
As jz got to leave for his driving at 11am. He was kinda furious as Josh didnt came back as promised to return jz's bicycle.
Evening came, and it was time for BBQ.
Little crop ups happened. But all was fine after Dar,Irvin and Mas went to Josh's place to get the foods.
People did turn up. No doubt it was little, but still appreciated that the came =)
For those that didnt, it's alright as they had valid reasons.
EVe and LW,Pei Shi,Irvin,Andrew,Jerald,Willkie,Wee Siong,Nicholas and gf,ShiLin,Keng Sian,Joan..hmmm..yeap thanks people for turning up =)
Took pictures with Eve and PS, hahas was nice seeing them.
Had drinking sessions thereafter, and i guess all were drunk and high.
Woke up with splinting headaches and not remembering much of what happened.
I better not drink so much in future. Woke up to and empty chalet, with only Paul,Andrew, Dar and me left. I remembered Kenneth was saying he felt fucked up..LOL..the rest can't really remember.

Overall, the chalet was okay i guess?..

Oh wells, working at 5.
The PSI level is up once again.116 [yucks] bad air.
enough said.

-Out-
First night..Dar and JH playing PS2.
Me playing MJ with Mas,Ken and JH
2nd Night BBQ =) [ps,eve and me]
Me and Eve
Me and PS