im beat.

i totally suck today..it was so fucked up.
ran for track and field today and it was shit.

came in 4th position for 800m and 4*400m
im sorry gals..i didnt put in extra more effort..

wad was worse was Dear watchin the race..i asked him to come down to watch me..which i guess shudnt had cus he saw the lousiest times of me..i sucked at runnin to hell with tt man..i was so into runnin in the past..but i guess it was all over...i hadnt been runnin fer 2 yrs and i guess..my "talent" gone..hahas..

well i embarrassed myself in front of so many ppl..fuckin frustrated woth myself..y the hell am i panic bout sia?..i guess anxiety got over me and i didnt breathe properly?..had this sudden chest attack tt NEARLY made me stop on the spot...but many ppl would be let down so i decided to push on..but it was too late..i cock up the whole ting..im so sorry gals..

but i was at the same time happy tt Dear was there fer me when im down..= )) i love u dear..
Dear was real encouraging..even though it was just to cheer me up..i really appreciated it = ))

we talked abt things and some other problems..and i cant help but cried..yupps..dat feeling is awful...u were so brave..

i guess i better stop here..gotta bathe..I STINK = x hahas..