went to meet up wif dear at his sch ytd..alighted a stop earlier and had to walk up to NP..was kinda having butterfiles in my stomach..cus its my first time goin to clementi to fetch my bf..= p tt feelin is weird didnt noe hw to describe tt..hahas..= ) i was lyk cursing and swearin over the phone bout the sch being so fucked up as it was a damm big campus?..hahas..and dear was lyk laughin on the other end..hhahas..he was lyk tellin me e place was filled wif china ppl hahas..didnt bring along my WMD..we headed fer ikea no knowin which stop to alight..hahs..was lyk lookin around in semi-darkness..had swedish meat ball,pouched salmon,one-bite of hot dog and nestle cookies..den it was time to head home....
y did it all had to end up tis way?..i didnt gave the very best of me?..never ran through my mind wad he was thinkin?..wad have i become..he's my bf and yet its lyk he's suffering all the time wif me..was the way i handled tings wrong?..my bf is important to me..yes i want to see him everyday..but y?..y cant i sort of compromise?..
y did i made him felt lyk rubbish to me?..he aint..
was suppose to hab a class outing today..i cancelled dat alr..gg to collect my pay later..and head back hm..cant fuckin msg,call or see him today..
did i changed?..or was it lyk tis all along jus dat no one said anythin bout it?..
i didnt lyk it when u suffer on ur own..even though its difficult fer u to tell me wad ur're feelin at least.
i didnt lyk forcin u to tell me tings..
i miss the times when we jus talk
i miss the times when we had ice cream wif a few entertainment..
i miss laughin at ur silliness..
i miss msgin u..
im lookin at our pic..
and my visions are slowin blurrin out..
a tear rolled dwn my cheeks...
i jus miss u.
i hate myself.
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