Far away

I'll be departing at 910am today to Kathmandu.

This vicious cycle still lives within me. A part of me concentrates on school and the other, lost. I thought I was able to handle it, but it keeps haunting me. I cant seem to focus. Bits and pieces kept recurring in my mind. I have to smile and maintain positive when Im outside . Can I turn around this time? can I hide away for a while?.

I dare not think of anything, I just kept myself busy, to make myself exhausted. I cant have silent moments like this. Im scared. Really. How long this has to go on?..

Have a great weekend.. =)

Stress

Coincidentally my English assignment is to create a flyer for students in SIM to teach them on how to relieve stress or release stress, when I havent come up with a method for myself to relieve stress. Yesterday was madness, I literally felt like jumping down with the Maths book man. geez~

Time literally slips away balls. Im no longer within grasp of my time management. Crazy. It's driving me up the roof. Having to juggle with work and school, I cant even spare a weekend this week to do my assignments with my group, it is definitely giving me a hard time. I can feel how equally anxious they are bout the projects and I've got long flts on weekends!! This is so terrible. With the holidays coming up real soon, I hope I'm able to fork out more time to meet my mates and storm the assignments!.

I need a maths tutor, please :(

Second week

It's my second week of school, so far not that good. LOL. But slowly able to catch up with the pace. Though Im not as experienced as my classmates that has the experience in their jobs easier for them to relate. Im definitely not saying that I wish to drop out now, not exactly. Unknowingly, it's coming 3 weeks since I fell. Slowly standing up. At least now I can touch the wound and clear it slowly. No more tears rolling.

My nonsense died down, more quiet now?, or Im still using mask around. It feels quite handicap sometimes, when I stare at my phone, it just doesnt react the same way anymore. I just feel that I should just turn it off since no one will call cept for rostering.. nah, not gonna blabber on anymore..

My Ipod died on me! forgot to charge. I'll listen to the commuters on the train today I guess..

Ciaoz~

Assume

Thought it can work out. Im just driving myself crazy. Endless crying has caused blur visions and it's getting irritating. I cant see clearly and my eyes are getting smaller each day.

Will be having lesson again today. Bought my necessary stuff for school, found my bag pack and bought my foolscap paper and files from Popular.

No one asking where am I, what's taking you so long, you only like to drag till late...etc. Kinda miss that. Hahas, I promise myself not to cry today. Enough of it already.

Hope you can make a decision soon. At least let me know something. Dont leave quietly.

Test of patience

Just when I've settled with school, Emirates is recruiting!! #$^#@$%
Yes, like what Aunt said, it's always something better planned for me. For a split moment I wanted to go for the interview and get out of here. That's stupid. I'll just stick to my studies since MI has approve my studies.

2 and 1/2 years aint that long. Must not let myself down, it aint easy getting the money for studies. Give me the strength, be it good times or bad.

New challenges

School has officially started yesterday. It's like information overload, but should be fine after reading it through again from the textbook I got from Ken. Thanks dude!. I feel the pressure on me. Lucky there's a primary school mate in my class! Im happy for that already. I've formed up my group members for projects and I've got 2 assignments on hand already. Will be heading to do some research on my assignments.

Never listen should never be in my dictionary again. Devastating.

JIAYOU to me!

so near yet so far

It's merely a day or two. I lost the confidence I had. Im dropping at an alarming speed to the bottomless pit. Im turning blind real soon from this. What am I thinking?. Please stop already. Why it hurts even more now?. I lost it. Losing myself.

water tap

I feel the intense sadness. It's getting to me quite badly right now. Give me the strength please. I dont want to break down.

Hungry

I was feeling too hungry when I woke up. I ransacked the fridge and found my birthday cakes!! yes not one or two but A FEW!! I was really hungry, couldn't help it and took the smallest box of it consisting of a slice of black forest and mango moose. I finished the black forest hoping it doesnt comes up with any reaction later in the day. I dare not touch the mango moose, it tasted a little weird so all in all my cakes are going to a waste, I threw it away. I've still got the chocolate cake and one more dunno what cake..omg. I guess they've all gone bad by now. =(

Im still hungry. UGH.

unique

Recently I was being introduced to this new milkshake store, " once upon a milkshake" it is SUPERB! super fattening but nice. LOL, I went back there again to get another try. hahaha. I wanna try more unique stuff in this small lil island of Singapore. But at the same time I've put on quite a lot weight. Damn depressing. How to fit my uniform like that!!! UGH!.

My leave is coming up, school is starting soon, money is running low and my tummy rumbles after every 2 hours!!!! WTF?! Im back to the original FAT JO. Mum has reinstated my name "Ah pui" again. %$#^#^$

Got to go prepare for work now..
Ciaoz

depress entry Day 1

im fat and depress now with full of pimple outbreak! #$@#%#^$ CRIES!!!!!

TODAY!

Had been going to STC for the past 2 days for my recurrent and Im glad everything is over. It was tiring but fun, especially the second day whereby you get to do more hands-on. Not much of batchgirls doing the recurrent together this year, only Ziana and Sarah. The rest are mixtures of CICs and other batches. But it was fun. =) and the coolest part of all, I get to have lunch together with my 2 uncles at STC!! hahahaha! one of them was having recurrent as well and the other was in office doing ground duties for a while.

The weather is so good this morning <3 I literally slept through the alarm. Guess I better go prepare soon and head down to SIM. Making my payments today. Orientation would be on the 18th which is like next week?. Cant wait man. =) Back to school. It feels good in a sense. Test of my endurance.

The weather is making me lazy. But nahh, not gonna waste my off day. Have a pleasant day people! =) Ciaoz!

minimum

Im really tired. It' my 3rd day today. I cant even wake up earlier to prepare. Look at the time now. I got to go bathe already. My eyes are shutting and my body is aching mad. SAVE ME! =(

Happy thoughts

Happy thoughts shall be my 2010 resolution. =) short and simple.

The closure of 2009. The grand finale. =)

Im glad 09 is going to be over soon. It was a mad roller coaster ride for me. Tough patches here and there. But Im glad, it's still considered a happy ending for everyone out there. There has been so much that went on the past few months, regrets, guilt, and lots more that words cant explain. I've lost quite a number of important things in my life from where I am now. Some stuff just couldnt be brought back again like my lost camera with my memories in it, and my Levis watch. Both which happens to be my 21st gift. I was devastated. Hurt. And plenty of other things that happened.

I've made selfish choices along the way which I know hurt plenty. I blame myself pretty much, it haunts me every now and then. Times when I gotta struggle with my conscience. Not that I've killed someone or something. It might be something small, but to me every little stone, setback gives me quite a massive attack. It took me quite some time to get over it, but Im really glad everyone is fine now. I see pretty much a happy ending.

This happy thought in me will last for a while Im sure. Im happy that people around me are happy. That there's no more grudges amongst the whole. It's the process of everything. And it's playing like a flashback in my mind as I sit here thinking of every single moment of 2009. Be it if Im still considered a friend of your's or not. I wish for peace and happiness for all of you out there!! \nn/

As long as people around me are happy, Im more than contented. The ride still has to continue.

Happy 2009 everyone.
Thank you people for entering my life.. <3

XOXO
JOjo =)

almost

My tooth is almost done now. Left the crowning part and it'll all be done. But Im kinda lazy to do the crowning. It'll cost me $XXX so Im considering delaying it. I've got better things to do than spending more than 1K on my freaking tooth. =(

Im starting my "mang ka li routine" very soon. I've got to start to be ngiao. Something I hate alot! UGH. But I've got no choice. I've got to do some sacrifices to save my ass. To save for my studies.

Im going back to my old survivor mode. Back to secondary school days. The way I spend money.

JIAYOU!!

xoxo
Jojo.

Sunshine

Little Ms Sunshine just brightens up my day. Watching her as she sleeps so soundly in my arms, nothing to fear. How I wish I could turn back into a baby myself once again..

Xoxo,

gotta prepare for work once again..oh ya! Avatar 3D RAWKS!!!!! \nn/

in a flash

Everything seem to happen in a flash. Im back from my Batam trip like so last week, and Christmas has just passed with now-it's boxing day. Many things happened in between, situations where I was left feeling stupid, and confuse.

It all happened on Christmas eve and early Christmas itself. My sister and myself attended the family gathering. Whereby there were tons of food, moutains of dessert. And I finally had a taste of the blue cheese. It gave a weird smell, which is difficult for people to have a liking for. But it was nice. Okay, it aint that perfect but it goes real well with wine. Had a few cups too much to drink, cus my uncle kept refilling. The second dosage of sparkling red wine, was kinda killer. Couldnt really hold wines that well. So I had my cut off limit for it. It was a silent killer. After gathering there for a good few hours, we left earlier as we've still got other programs on.

That's when my spasm neck started to give me some problem. It literally tilted to the left, freaking gave me a shock of my life. And I was suppose to meet Daryl for midnight mass. Imagine that scene, anyone who was with me, would have like died laughing at me. But no. Daryl was extremely pist. He felt that I was showing disrespect to his religion. C'mon it wasn't really on purpose. But yea, the night when horribly wrong. And I felt horribly guilty. It was all due to the drowsy effect I had from my food poisoning jab I had earlier in the morning. =(
Everything went haywired. It was a horrible scene, which I hope it will never happen in the near future. And Im definitely not showing any disrespect.

In the end, everything went picture perfect. And the whole incident became a joke for us to fall back on and laugh. GEEZ~ what a night I would say. Whereby I had to rush to the clinic at the airport like twice on the same day. GEEZ~ Damnit.

Christmas day was well spent. I had hell of a time laughing my lungs out. And I caught Cyril the magician on AXN. His moves are so great that I seriously salute to him. He's moves changes right in front of your eyes!. He can change a bowl of chicken noodles to Laksa and the stack of card to literally stick to the ceiling revealing only the card that you had in mind. Just simple illusion tricks caught me real fascinated. Geez~ =)

Received santa mail at 11plus. Slot beside the flower pot of my neighbour!! LOL!! wth. Thank you santa claus! =)

Alright enough bulls,
gotta go prepare for work alr..

Merry Christmas once again people! =)
Xoxo,
Joanne.

Dilemma

Im stuck in this situation whereby $$ is such a big issue. I guess this problem has been consistantly stucked with me. It gives me a bigger headache now.

Im in debts, SIM has accepted me and what else.. my bloody tooth cost me a bloody big bomb!. I need a bank loan. This is so shitty.

Another will be, Im tired already. I feel like leaving. But this shouldnt be what I should be thinking. I'lll be totally out of my mind for wanting to get out. Im stuck here. Been enjoying so much so that I've not saved a penny. And Im paying more shit these days. Im drowning in debts. I feel like seeing the dental and to ask them to just pluck out my tooth, forget bout the freaking root canal shit. I aint no rich mofo to spend on a tooth. I see a huge obstacle infront of me now. The letter in my hands.

What am I suppose to do?
Crazy.

Feels like the 21st!!

Updates of my birthday celebrations will come up real soon, for the mean time, I've got tons of Xmas stuff to do. Just wanna thank everyones wishes,gifts,presence,msges,Fb's..etc. MAN I FEEL SO LOVE!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!!

And a big thank you to Daryl for giving me an unforgetable 22nd that feels like 21st!!!! MAY I STAY AT 21ST ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA. =)

MANY THANKS I WANNA MAKE!!!

A VERY BIG THANK YOU TO:

My Haagen Dazs friends for celebrating my bday.

-Pei Fen

-Yiming

-Andy

-Xiao Kel

-Mw

-Cecilia

-Qiao Fen

My Ku & Mr Ong - for the mini celebration at Marche =)

-Ms Nicole goh for attending my celebration though you gotta work early the next day.

My SecSch BItches!!

-Shihui

-Peishi

-Yanlin

-Kenneth

-JiaHuang

-Willkie

-Josh

The Riders

-Nel

-Mark

-Cong

-Collin & Chantelle

B.O.S.S

-Joel

-Thierry

So many special thanks.. =)

And if I missed out your name, aint because I forgot bout it, it's cus I haven totally wake up while writing this.. =)

I seriously feel so love this December..really so many surprises that made me cried okay!!! this feels more like my 21st than last year!!!!

For the first time I felt your effort so greatly. Im really touched, it feels so sweet. Thank you so much Daryl. =)

Sunny little island

In another mere 5hours we got to bid goodbye to tis small little island. First day was hell for me when there was so many bites all over me given by e blood sucking mosquitoes of Batam..the weather varies like Sg rains and at times extremely hot weather..and today,our small little hut that we're staying had a little electricity trip. Lol! We've experienced almost everything..even candlelight dinner was accompanied by fireworks! I'm lucky or wad? Hahas..okay e electricity man has fixed e prob out fer breakfast and tanning soon :)