failure.

Wasnt really a good day today.
Met up with PS and yL..walked around Tm as Ps wanted to get jacket for work..
She needs a total white jacket..but we found none..
After shopping and having dinner with them..
They headed home..while i went to meet him and the rest.
Well..he was complaining that he wasn't really feeling that good..
But i didnt really bothered..
I remembered once when he was ill..
I skipped my first main team training..for touch rugby..just to take care of him..
Now he's sick once again..
Had a little quarrel..and both gave the cold shoulders..
throughout the whole of the time..
He was feeling real weak..
After smoking..he got worse..thus we went back by cab..him,mas and me..the usual 3
I alighted first..
i shouldnt had alighted..should had gone over to his place..
He was right..
I only cared about myself..
I did had the intention of going over to his place..to take care of him..
But i didnt..
Not sure what i was angry about..
I left him alone....im so FUCKED UP..
Wasnt there for him when he needed me the most..
now im worried sick..feel like just takin my dad's bicycle and go over to his place..
But what can i do?..it's already late..and i don't know my way to his place by bicycle..
I regret not going over to his place..wtf was i angry about?!!!.. :(
I guess the only thing i can do..which i would..is to appear at his block downstairs tomorrow..
Call him around 11plus?..or maybe earlier..and bring him to the doctor..
He did call me when he reached home..but he didnt do anything..
Not even taking the panadol..
He's running a high fever....
Dammit..im so fucked up..
FUCKED UP.

Dear,im really sorry. I should had gone over to your place..
At least i could be there to sponge you..and make sure u take ur medicine..
But i wasnt there to do anything..
What have i done?..

I deserve nothing man..
I feel so tired myself.
Fucked up.