NAFA

ARGH!. Good Morning!
It's finally TUESDAY!, a day which I dread the MOST.
We'll be having NAFA today @ 2pm. BOOOO!!!
Seriously, cant they just do off with that?, it feels so secondary school man. Damn.
People are telling me to take the 2.4km as a slow jog..when I got to clear before 15mins, else I got to retake!! eeeeyur, damn.

My fruit diet didnt started afterall, in the morning I had OILY CHICKEN CHOP, followed by flavour bust raspberry again when I met up with AUd and dinner was GRILLED CHICKEN! @ Cartel..OMG.
I've SINNED. I broke my own promise to myself. DAMNIT!
And I didnt attend vball training! eeeyur.

I was laughing so much when I met up with Aud ytd to study, ahahas.
Cash budgeting was giving us the headache, but the laughters cured them. I was laughing so hard, till I felt the cramps in my stomach. LOL.
We took pics from Aud's macbook and I was laughing awaay, our dumb faces, shall get the pics from aud and upload them soon!! wahahas.








Enjoy!! =) wahaha

Edited--

I remembered what I wanted to blog initially..
It was a bad dream I had that woke me up this morning.
It's like a past haunting me once again, must be too much of such nonsense jealousy talk that I dreamt of that whoever and that whoever together.
I'm like wtf in my dreams, like that stupid betrayal feeling.
I hate that so much. TOO MUCh.
And to think that she wasnt that decent afterall.
She was smoking in my dreams, LOL like WTF!!!!!!
Okay this is yet random but haunts me.
Pouts.


Morning =)
I feel so weird right nw after taking the diet pill..my heart is beating so fast and it seems as though I cant really control my limbs, my arms feels so gittery. :(
Omg, I dont think Im gonna continue with this pill.

I feel so lazy to have to work again. =(
Kay, gotta go prepare alr..

Long Day in Heels!

A very long day spent with my heels, killing me with each step I took.
Damn the heels man! Fuck Mo**o!! Stupid heels of theirs.

Made a few friends today, namely-Adeline,Michelle and Rosline and a few others which I cant recall their names.
They were extremely friendly and out-going. =)

This is gonna be so random, okay therafter I went to roam around MS,Citilink,Raffels City,back to MS and Suntec, before I finally decided on Swensens at Suntec.
That explains why my feet hurts so much now.
I went to have my lunch alone at Swensens while waiting for time to pass, as I was suppose to meet Fang,Sheryl and Gela for our "waxing session!!!!!!" ahhhhhhhhh!!
hahahs, it's located at Dhoby Gaut-Dhoby Express, not sure what's the salon's name.
Yes you're eyes arent playing tricks on you, we went for WAXING!!! ahahas.
At first I was making fun of them as they started first, then at last it was my turn!! oh damn!! it was freaking painful I would say!
The lotion or the "waxing cream" lol, the minute the lady apply it on me, I can feel the "heat" sensation, lol. Then she'll paste a strip of paper or what sort then she'll say breathe in! then "zzzzzzzzzzzziiiiaaaahhhhhhhh" the tingy came off with your facial hairs on it..........
Oh yea, I didnt said what waxing it was.. lol
It was..........

UPPER LIP WAXING

Cause of faggots that made fun of me bout the cute lil "moustache" I had, I decided to do off with it.
You better SHUT your mouth from now on FAGS!
hahas, Damn, it's painful..but I had some means thoughts, if guys were to bully me, this shit is gonna land on ur face, and I wont feel sorry for you. LOL. GOOD LUCK.

I'm tried..
Nites =)

Forget it.

TRUST IS HARD TO GAIN BUT EASY TO LOSE

How true is that..
i lost mine.

My rantings..

I feel tired, having to wake up each day to think of a way to handle my fringe, that fringe made me felt horrible. And I horribly miss my long hair. This is my HUGE mistake, to horribly went to the salon to get it snipped off.
2yrs of keeping it and now it's gone for good, I just kept convincing myself that my hair will be better when the new ones grow out. At least it's not frizzy anymore.

It's painstaking to start all over again, to wait for my once "long hair" to grow back again. Yes, people might think that Im being a retard whining bout hair that could be grown back, maybe because I'm too concious of how I look in others eyes, in other word- VAIN. Who isnt vain AT ALL? hmmm?.. =(

But I got to surpress that thought and not go for hair extension.
I'll just stop looking at myself so often in the mirror,reflections etc, etc.
I'll feel better that way, maybe wear a cap for a change, or maybe just find new ways of styling my hair, yea maybe new ways.
Freaking rebonding costed me $200. Money that literally went down the drain.
Horrible lesson learnt. I'm $200 poorer, and that means I'm gonna work more this month I hope or maybe next month.I'm trying my best to cut down on spending, today I spent $1 which I felt kinda guilty cus it was spent on flavour bust-Raspberry.
I've been dying to have an ice cream so I bought myself one on my way home from work just now.

Speaking of work, OCS has shifted to a new location, it's at the old Gan Eng Seng School, which is kinda ... hmmm it's not accessible, mum is trying to persuade me to quit, but..I'm not considering that as of yet. Maybe when I found another better paying job.

I'm beginning to aim higher, as in the usual average pay I get now, doesnt seem to satify me anymore. Maybe cus Im starting to buy stuff which I use to find them pointless to get. Or maybe it's cus my shampoo and all are no longer sponsored by my mum, just base on my dail necessities is already around $30 odd, that doesnt include my facial wash, or body wash. It's only shampooo!!. =(

Hais,the monetary issues again..


This looks like a rather long entry..
tired.

Mind over Body

Im just very tired, my visions are starting to blur.
Yet, my body and mind refuse to rest, I'm just thinking of the negative.
The negatives and the "what if's"..
I dont feel the way I should be feeling..
Some stuffs which I dont know how to describe. I just felt like doing so manny things at a time that most of the time I'm just staring blankly..just plainly thinking of what to do more than what are the stuff that got to be done.
Am I not making sense..hais.
Anyway as I was saying..
It still feels best to have things not within your reach, because when you eventually did..there will be 2 outcomes..
It's either:

1. You'll feel accomplished or whatsoever..or
2. You'll feel that it should not had happened.

See, Im back to the contradictions.
And, I still have my doubts.
This is not what I'm suppose to be feeling right now, but damnit why is it so??..

Home-ed

Was literally home the whole day today. Oh wells, reason being- I overslept once again, I was supposed to go jogging at the Tamp Stadium with the fellas, and I nearly missed it. Ha!

All in all, I've received 17 missed calls =p Sorry MH & Ed
So we jogged, hmmm they jogged, mine was the combination of jogging and more of walking..ahahas, and I've only managed 3 rounds. Pathetic! Damn.
After which it was Subway! I had their " Oven toasted Chicken Breast Meat Salad".
Yeap, I had SALAD. It was "not bad" but I'll still prefer Swensen's Salad.
Walked home, and tada! I'm stuck to the com till now..

Alright, I'll go watch tv, my favourite show is coming up next! ;)

I'm home =)

Like Finally!! ahas, mmm mum brought back ayam masak merah and nasi brani and pineapple tarts that are extremely DELICIOUS OOOOO la la =p

okay im lazy to blog further,
jus uploaded some pics I took for the past few weeks or days..

[ Went CANELE with Fang, Nana and Kiku.. hmmmmmmm yummm! :p ]

[ FUCKD UP..]

align="center">

[ Was Left alone waiting for the rain to stop at Tanjong Pagar...]
[ Ah Gong ]
[ Me and my lovable ah mah <3>

Exhausted

Im drained out, extremely exhausted, for the next few days coming up, I'll try to be a good girl.
Attend lessons, and sleep in more often!.
Yes, this will be my temporary short goal for the upcoming events..


-27th Jan ( Jayden's 1 month )
-7th Feb 2008 Chinese New Yr!! & Nana's Birthday!
-16th Feb ( OCS CNY Celebration )
-20th Feb ( Kiku Tuang's Birthday )

Before all these, I got to make sure I :

-Am eating lesser
-Get my hair extension done.. ( hmm, got to negotiate this..)
-Get my "Chu 2" clothes
-*My secret wish come true
-Get a memory card for my Camera!! ( ROAR! )
-Repay my debts
-Get my nails done

Hais, but above all these..
I WANNA QUIT MAHJONG!! LOL

It has cost me alot of investment, lol. Very little income, therefore, I'm gonna quit that for "a while" hahaha.
Was extremely angry yesterday over 2 issues, one was that monkey had shaved his bloody head and joined the army, so...my $$ got to wait all the way back to the 27th!!!! I believe he's gonna come out with another freaking lame excuse, hais. Must be my KARMA man.UGH.
And second..hais, I dont wish to comment further, it'll just make me age faster..

I have a hintch is that how you spell it, that my day for today will be a LONG one. =(
Boo, Im extremely tired, not enough sleep!!!
NO MORE MAHJONG FOR THE TIME BEING!! I WANNA SLEEP!!!

Oh yea oh yea, MY HAIR SUCKS TO THE CORE MAN!!!

Kay, Im off to work..
toodles!

Im fucking FAT NOW!!!! freaking 55kg!!.

Back by popular demand, LOL.
But very tired, work and school is tearing me apart.

Stupid Wahjong..
Everyone!! signup at viwawa and play mahjong with me online!,,
lol.

Im 20.

Finally Im 20.
I'll remember the 19th's.

Spinning out of hand, I lost myself.

" I don't deserve it,.."

It felt like the past, when you called and yelled at me..
Ever felt like you're here but you're not really there?..
Im not making sense alr..

I just kept dragging.

You're like a tattoo..

This came real bad on me. I wonder if anyone bothers anymmore.
I seriously didnt realise what has become of me..
And I didnt even realise everyone was leaving.

Left alone, no one to turn to.
I dare not even call up anyone.
I realise I dont have anyone to fall back on too.
Dont despair..Im equally pathetic.

Yea fucking do something about it, better than fuck here fuck there.

This coming from someone who was "my best pal.."
Thanks alot.
I guess if you didnt chided me. I'm still being as,.. I cant find that suitable word to describe,
basically..
I've let people around that used to cared down..
and now..they're slowly drifting away from me..


why do i feel the ache so much?..
Maybe it's best that everyone leaves me.


Can i jus end this life....
I hate myself.

Sometimes I envy others that have really great pals around, remembering you.
Celebrations..etc etc.
Fun filled memories, long table filled with people, friends.
Filled with laughters and joys.

I dont remember any of mine like that.
Hahas. How awkward this feels, now I know why I dont want it to happen at all.
And Im not saying I dont have great pals around okay..hahas. =)
Im just feeling very "Emo-tic" this morning.

And I seriously cant recall...arrgh. My memories are failing me.


Im so not looking forward to it.

Tired.

Tired. Extremely tired.
Lethargic.
5 pills.

goodnight.

When you've got no faith, no confidence, no nothing, what will you tell yourself?..
It happened before, and I told myself, everythings gonna be okay, it's gonna be alright, yet, things still happened. Im holding back this time round, no longer having the courage to take another step forward.
It was nice sitting down talking bout the good old times, yet at the same time extremely depressing, sitting side by side with the once called "Love/Dear"..
Yes, memory lane, extreme killer.

I've cried myself to sleep once again.

"Now we've lost it all, nothing last forever..
I'm sorry, I can't be ..."

I've choosen not to say so much..
It's not within our control..
That piercing pain. I've not really gotten over it.

goodbye.

Holidays

Holidays are like just a day away , consider the fact that it's already 2.31am Friday.
In about another 4 hours time i should wake up and prepare for school..

Im seriously very lazy, but Im gonna try and push myself. I guess I've chose not to go for the photoshoot later on..
So i guess my plans for Friday would be to go to school and thereafter head home to nap a while before meeting Xinyi for gym, which I hope I'm DETERMINED. lol. Man, I needa lose weight.
I've gained another 2Kg just like that..BOOm..

shall continue later..
nites.

-----Edited----

Okay, so I've just WOKE UP. Fucking hell. =( I manage to give my friend a MORNING CALL at 6.30am, yet I SLEPT back. Damn fucked up. =(

Called the people regarding the photoshoot, hais. See, lack of determination, everything gone.

Hahas, I knoew what to wish for Christmas this year; to lose alot of weight. hahas. Damn.

Alright, alot of pictures to upload, shall start with yesterday, then followed by Mr Ryan's 21st Birthday. Lazy to bore you guys out, enjoy the pictures..

[ The Outing with the ladies yesterday ]

( The top I intend to get.. =) on Sat. )

Pictures from Ryan's Chalet...

[Jo & Andeline]

[ Andeline & Suzhen using my phone to camwhore!!! and even set as wallpaper!!]

[ Me and Bird Day Boy.. ]

[ Getting the BBQ started..]

[ I've forgotten what Ryan was talkin bout..hahas..]

[ I just look like some dumb fuck..hahas.]

[ I didnt realise Ed was tryin to steal the limelight. ]

[ I LOVE Sweetpotatoes.]

[ Makan Time! =) ]

[ Handsome Ed's " feng huang dian qui xiang" ]

[ Me and Jieying ]

The Attack..waaha.

Slow yet torturing

Okay, knowing that at the end of the month you will get at least a pretty sum of money, gets you going each day.
But as days goes by, the health is deteriorating.
I've lost appeal in food. Been a long time since I sat down had a nice dinner, and a good laugh.
It sounds so bloody pathetic as Im typing this out, man I need some entertaining shit man.
I'm losing myself, I've worked hard, yet I dont feel the accomplishments.
So difficult to comprehend aye?..

I wonder where it's heading

Some say move on some say you're not ready to move on.
Im sticking to my own grounds, I cant help it at times.
I'm still stuck. I definately let a few people down. Some say, this is something only I can help myself with, some thinks it's a very small matter.

If all these "some says" made sense, am I too stubborn to understand that?.
I know Im trying to prove something here, but.
I dunno how to put it. Damnit.
This definately gonna affect people around me, be it one way or the other.
Im shutting myself up these days.
Shutting those thoughts, having sleepless nights, great.

Things Im suppose to use my brains- Accounts, studies, refuse to be in use.
Instead issues like the matter of the heart, the mind, me-myself, people around me.
I cant..just cant..
Okay maybe I can if I stop telling myself I cant..
But seriously Im contradicting what I belief and what Im thinking.

----Just now..
Was watching Heroes, now Im watching it again on StarWorld. Hahas, now Im stuck to this show which is not doing me any good, it's past bedtime, hahas! like I really sleep that early.
Now Im like a psycho talking to myself..damnit.
" Kiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll You! " hahas, Achmed something if Im not wrong, hahas.
Oh yea, "Brothers & Sisters " seems like a nice show to watch too, but my mum is kinda irritating while watching that show with me just now, she just cant stop commenting on how FAKE people could get, come to think of it..at times you seriously cant help it, dont you?..

Phew..this seems like a long entry or it isnt?..
There's just too many things on my mind man..

Like what I told peishi..
I've isloated myself. Hahas.

Transit

This is what actually happens when you insist on watching " Transit ".
It ended around 3 plus am. Thus, I overslept and missed out the first 2 hours lecture, just completed photocopying my stupid resume thingy for CDP.
Im dreading school alot.

My stupid printer is giving me tons of problems, my friend tried to help me the other time through MSN, it was seriously cool, watching others controlling your mouse and everytthing, which I'm not suppose to mention a word bout it..hahas. Anyway, the printer wasnt fixed. It can only scan/photocopy.

I feel so lazy now to even move my butt out of this chair. =(
Alright should head to school now, CDP at 12pm.

Ciaoz.

Been very tired, must be the hangover.
I literally dozed off the minute I sat down on the sofa.

This week seems to get by real fast.
36 months..
But humanly impossible. 23 Nov 2010.

Waiting.

36 months..

What will you do?.. 36months..
Let fate decide. Time will tell..

Fuuny how things have changed, now I'm slowly sliding back..
I hope I did the right thing, funny how my thinkings contradicts me.
Everytime I wanna hold you back, apart of me takes 2 steps back.

Someone please slap me awake.

I kept asking myself.. "why?.."

Hasnt been having adequate rest since dunno when, this week seems to be dragging.

It happened again, while I was at Suntec..
Entwinded memoirs.. tears streamed down..

That 6 page long message, I just felt like calling back..but I slipped my phone back.
Cus, I always remembered, in the past whenever I tried to call back/ replied, I'll get the same scolding.."Dont you understand English?!" hahas..
Funny..how things changed..

Im feeling so giddy now, not sure if I can pull through for work later..
2 days absent from school..alot to catch up.
Busy working next week, I need rest, plenty of rest.

I simply cant stop thinking for these few nights..
What have I done?..

I walk alone.

Burnout

My mood isnt that fantastic today, with people asking me for "...." early in the morning aint making my day any better.
I will remember to pay, my pay is coming in only on the 15th please bear with it. =( Damn.
At the rate im going, I guess I'll really burnout on Sunday, one more day to go. Perservere.

Today will be like "full shift" Clinique in the morning and rush down to Expo in the evening.
I feel so fucked up. I hate being threatened.
So I woke up feeling grouchy. FUCK THIS MAN. =(

AAAARGH.! Bear with it, I cant help but whine, fucked up shit, damnit.
Stress and nothing seems to go the right way, aaaaaaaargh.
Crap, just downright fucked up. It's all HER fucking doings man. argh, FUCKED UP SHIT.ARGHHHH..why she just cant let me take off!! ARGH! =(

Super Import Night

At first it was nervous, stressed out, standing very still like a block.
Waited and waited, my partner was late. I was left all alone to "stand around".
It was an eye opener, there were loads of pretty girls and awesome rides.

Stress level up!..

Falling down in circles.

Work all the way till Sunday. Hope it tires me out.
Even if it couldnt be helped.

Missing out..

Been missing out on the good old days when I just sat infront of the com and gossiping, catching up and more gossiping with Ms Goh on Msn!! and a few others like Ms Heng that will irritate the shit out of me with her-"do you miss me?, do you love me?.." all her nonsense shit. Hahahs, damn, I'm outdated alr..
And I know I'll get bombarded back if I said " People let's meet up!!!" cus I'm always saying that and yet I'm always not free..how ironic is that.

And I still owe Ms Goh- Ikea, Hard Rock..etc Omg.
This month is an extremely BUSY month.With more work assignments, and school assignments pilling up, I'm dreading school once again. Damnit.

It's weird how sometimes, minor stuff can be triggered especially among friends. And the victim is innocent. AAAArghhhh, this is seriously CHILDISH.

Shopping!!

Extremely tired. EXHAUSTED!!. Finally I'm home, phew. For the first time I dread shopping, maybe I'm shopping for stuffs I dont really wanna get, if it's not for the job. Hais..

I've bought:
-Boots ( black ) $80
-Eye Liner $8
-Fake eye lash $4
-Eye lash glue $8
-Ball bearing- tongue. $5

All thanks to mummy, LOL. But!..I've got to pay her back when my pay comes in. =((
Finally found the boots at Far East, sign of relief, woot. =)
I had alot of stuff to blog about before I sign in, now it's all gone. DAMN!!.
Resting time!!!


[ Look at this Lambo.. ]


[ Just felt a lil koo koo... ]

[ ROUND FACE... ]

Pressure.

Went for extreme exercise just now. hahas.
Thanks for the "company" Xinyi.hahas.
2 rounds around the big field, followed by the back route to Poi Ching Primary and down to the stadium-6 rounds. Freaking 2.4km HAHAS. I realise my endurance level dropped alot. Man..

So the matter has been resolved, Sharon has allowed me to work morning shift on Sat, 10-5pm.
I didnt like the way she threatened me. No, nope. But it's not her fault to use this on me, since I used to "runaway" when I was suppose to work.
But when she told me to return my uniform in one of the msgs, I felt very down. Way down. Not sure why, maybe it's due to the pms. Ha.. It actually affected me. Im always disappointing others. Why am I feeling extremely down now?..ha. But the matter has been resolved.. okay..im tired alr..
Most likely I'll be heading out later..

Sorry Paul didnt reply your msg.

School.

-School-

Alright so school was kinda slack. I woke up real late this morning, I woke up around 7am. We-Aud,Van,F Word and myself gave Audit a miss and headed to level 3 cafetaria for breakfast. F Word was trying his "black magic" on us once again, this time round I've got his trick and it made me feel kinda dumb. LOL.It's actually very simple. =x
After breakfast, we headed for the next lesson- Accounting.
HAHAHA, I was having hell of a time taking pictures of everyone, laughing at every single nonsense.
So this is what happens to me on every Friday. I go berserk doing extremely nonsense stuffs..hahas!
Here goes.....

[ The joker of the day, F Word Our Man-Nigger. LOL ]
[ Got home in the pouring rain... ]
[ When lesson was stressing the hell out of us.... lol!!! ]
[ I cant help but to NAP a while.. ]
[ Cash Flow statements..AHHHHHHHH ]

[ When extremely tall people are asked to write on the board......]
[ This is what happens..YOU HEAD BANG, HAHAHA! ]

[ And this is one smart fella..LOL tryin to write as high up as possible.. ]

=)

Okay time to change a new template, I kinda like this one alot.. =)

Some Random Pictures..

[ Aint this lil one so ADORABLE!!! Omg omgomg!!!! ]

[ Audrey and F Word- Nonsense Hot-Key! ] lol..
[ We're just posing..lol ]

[ The men in action.. ]

These Days..

Got to head back to my Audits..having some test tomorrow, pardon me man, I seriously dislike the Audit lecturer. Maybe I'm just not flexible enough, but I get pist off easily, especially during her case-study. Her information is so vague, she doesnt do a proper introduction on Auditing, just goes ahead with it. Hmmm, how?..Damn, just try my best to digest her "informations" .

Mr Siew is back! hahas, met him after school and headed for lunch, received my goodies! which I'm not gonna disclose, it's P&C! hahas..Oh! we caught "Superbad" too, hahas! but..it was a lil disappointing. I was expecting it to be a lil more hilarious. Oh well..

Ended class real early today, and we headed to C1 for lunch per usual. Had loads of stuff to eat today..Banana prata with choc sauce, Chicken Mutabuk and Karrage Chicken- whatever it is spelt..hahas.

Sorry for the indecisiveness Ms Chua.. x) saw your upset face..-SCARE-ED!!- We still love you!!

The weekends are nearing once again!! woots! =)

Damn, I'm working this Sunday! Booooooooo..so farrrrrrrrr awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy...

At least I've got Van as company. =) *Phewwww*

- Omg..I cant make up my mind, one cant have the best of both worlds..and it's freaking stressing me out.-