attention NEEDED!!

I think I'm deprived of attention. LOL!
Went out with bf today for a little shopping trip @ non other but our favourite Tmall.
Well the reason why we're there was to get a vball for my sis.
Arguments happened once again. =(
Well, but the bad aura is gone. We're fine again. hmmmmm..
My conclusion would be that, I shall never ask bf out anymore.
Hahas, I have my reason for that =p
We saw this girl and he thinks she's HOT okay, fine I agree.
Saw Allan and his gf while waiting for my monster to arrive.

Well, it was nice just to have bf around..BUT!!! I cant stand it when he wants to irritate me..
He carrying me today..LOL..I'm SHY!!! okay..and I was told to lose weight..argh..
HAhas..
Went down to try the vball with my sisters..LOL..
The ball was kinda HARD..but I guess it's okay..yeap..

Outs'

Contradicting love..

Love is just so complicated.
Love grows when time gets by..
and my love for you is growing strong..
Orh oh..that is a bad sign..
Whenever I fall deeply in love..things gets bad..
I dont wish bad karma to happen all over again.
I love you..I hope your love for me is true too..

Went to work once again today,
was dead tired..
I missed you so much today..
and u gave me the cold shoulders..
And even to the extend of scolding me..
Saying that im irritating you..

Now that you have finally told me the truth..
I Love you!!!! ;) hahas..
Yes silly boy..I wana meet ya too..
Just cus u were asleep..that's why i didnt meet you..
U silly dumb MONSTER!!! hahas..

I love you =)

bored

Im feeling so bored!!! and the project is boring me out more.
Im left with 1/4 of my project before its done.*PUKES*
Argh, projects...they're just a BORE to me. Luckily im completing it soon.

Okay, I guess I'm not meeting him today.
Seems like, we've only met up like one day this week.
OKay. I miss him!!!!! =( oh well.
I better get back to my project, I needa puff!!! argh..

when the missing goes bad

miss you alot today..
was nice when u called me..but i didnt had the chance to talk to u..cus work was busy..
Guess u're mst likely sound asleep..

Didnt had much appetite at work today..
When i ate a little..i vomitted..urgh..
Guess was due to the night before..
I didnt eat anything almost the whole day..
Well..guess the gastirc is kicking up..

JH has FINALLY sent me the pics..
hahas..shall upload it mayb tmr or Sunday.

alrights..
gtg..
nites'

whines..=(

I guess it's only me and my blog now.
I dont wana whine to him or else he'll say im irritating him again.
I just dont seem to have any motivation to continue doing my project. I just feel so emo all of a sudden. He called me after i msged him =) but it lasted fer a while and my emo feeling is back to sit in and makin me feel so lonely all over once again.

People msged me early in the mornin today, let's see..
the classic one was by sh..her whole group of logistic people were out to Sentosa today and she jst wanted to show off that to me..well, I did felt a little jealous that's all! humph. hahas..
Nothing much for me to look forward to.
Maybe work, but I dread it, feel like skipping work but what you said to me still lingers in my mind, WARNING me..

I guess I'm just dumb.
When I got the attention, I ignored.
Now that I don't I feel like some sore loser.
DUMB it is, I wonder what's wrong with me with all these negative thinkings.

I hope it aint coming.

Oh ya, I've got to get my sis her vball soon..

Why would people continue to wait when they know that, the person they like/love has a bf/gf? i've got no idea, but it's said that it was worthwhile even though they know that the outcome in the end might not be what they expect.
That's so complex.

oh well'

Busy.

Schools' getting more busy lately.
I've got BFS oral presentation coming up and BCM co-currently too.
And now since I'm home. Finally sitting down to sit in front of the computer.
So I'll do some research and at the same time update my blog =)

I've learned how to put on make-up. Some say I look better, whereas for some they say I look better without it. Well, not really into it already.
Went to work Aranda on Monday, worked with Ade =))
The moment she saw me, she told me to cut off my hair.........argh, cus she said the condition was bad. =(
It's still best working with collegues u know.

Worked at Haagen Dazs ytd, fen came down she lost alot of weight, 47Kg sia. I think i wana go Vivo and torture myself and lose some weight. hahas..

And for today, =))
It's actually the 8th month of Dar and me =))

No doubt we don't really spend much time together. I guess understanding is needed here.

I Love You.

IN Town

Woke up real early today, bout 10plus? and received a msg from Audrey.
We went for free eyebrow shaping stuff. =))
I like the shape now, no doubt it's only trimming and stuff, it looks neater =))
Wasn't really into shopping mood today as I was having 'The Thing of The Month' so I was like very quiet. Sorry Audrey =(( but we're gonna have fun soon!!! ;)

Audrey helped me make-up woot'
We went to tried on clothes at Top-Shop,Zara..hahas..
Gossiped, took loads of pictures and I was literally staring at myself in the mirror whenever i get the chance to. =p

And now i can't upload the pictures!!
I went anal today. Must be 'that thing' that made me feel this way..
I grew so sensitive, not the way it's suppose to be.
Picked fights. Was sent home.
TOTALLY DUMB MOVE. MY lost. =(
It just wasn't my day. Wanted to meet him so badly, but no. I screwed it up once again. I just needed that attention. Dumb. It nearly ended once again.

Went home like some sore loser, crying her eyes out once again.
Fell asleep while crying and now im up blogging.
I just wanted to meet him, well he was right, he had a long day in school, would had been tiring for him. Sorry i wasn't understanding. I got too carried away as I wanted to let him look at my make-up, guess it was dumb.

I've got to change for the the better.
I've got to work on my attitude. It's driving Bf nuts. =(
I feel like i miss him alot all of a sudden, but the next thing i know, we'll be quarrelling.
Argh we're tired of fighting to the extend where the situation would be DRASTIC.

Bf called me just now, talked things out nicely.=) It's okay.
Changes and more changes, I'll try.

"It's not easy, but I'll WILL try cus of US."

im back =))

ALright how long have I not bothered bout my blog this time round?..hmmm

Well i'll start with the Sentosa Trip on erm..Tue 24 Oct 06

Meeting everyone at 10am. Met up with Ken and Jh at Tamp plat frist followed by Josh at Simei and Mas at Tana Merah. All alighted at Bedok plat as Mr Daryl was late once again.LOL
All were so excited about the trip as they expects to see LOADS of HOT CHICKS. Argh, don't understand them, they look like desperado's. What made it worst was my bf joining in the hunt. =(
We reached there around erm, 12plus?..We freaked out when we saw the humans at Harbour Front. The queue to the shuttle bus was way too long for us. Therefore we went for lunch first and took cab down to Sentosa.
We headed to Siloso Beach. Urgh, boring. I was left with nothing to do while the rest started hunting. Taking pictures, urgh horrible. =x
Was like acting SINGLE once again. Oh well, and they played soccer with my vball which landed high up on the tree together, resting nicely right between the coconuts. And the advance player was MR Daryl once again.
Didn't play much games, I guess their motive there was to LOOK AT GIRLS, so I just sat on the sand, look after our stuff and build my own sand castle. JH sat beside me so i chatted with him, hahas, or else there was really nothing for us to do. I grumbled alot to him both DAryl, bout how girls checked him out and how he smiled back and stuff, hahas.
In conclusion- The whole day was spent looking at girls, even BEns & Jerry's girls were unique to them.
Urgh!!! guys out there! where have all of you gone?!!! =(
I WANT ATTENTION TOO!!!! boohoooo`

And i didnt meet up with the girls..=( boohooo girls i miss u.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

25 Oct 06

Nothing much happened, or is it cus i couldn't remember?..hahas
Went to school per usual and went to work.
Was like a dead zombie, I need batteries, hahahs..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

26 Oct 06

Finished school at 4 yesterday and I had choosen my oral presentation for my BFS.-Credit Cards.- Wooohooo i've got to start with my slides omg, I've got to rush man =(
Met up with Bf and the rest for dinner at PRS central and went over to Paul's place to slack, and there we looked at our secondary school day's pictures and we laughed our heads off and DAryl has to LAUGH AT ME!!!! urgh..

I'm getting more and more ugly, hais.

Home

Spent my whole day at home.
Talked to Daryl on the phone this afternoon.
It was suppose to be one of those "teasing" each other conversation.
And to think that it turned out to be another fight.
The content was some what unreasonable and insulting.

Been having porblems going on these days.
Kind of big prob for me.I hope days get by soon.
I can turn to no one when i've got a problem.
I'll learn how to cope with it. It's not that im acting strong,
I don't need people to resolve my problem, just need someone there for me to lean on for a while.
I don't even feel like turning to you if i have problems.
I doubt you will view my blog either.

Kind of depressed lately, my own problems, fights that Daryl and I share almost everyday.
No comments further.

Recalled what my BCM lecturer Mr Hari told us.
It's actually a joke.
He told us that his progression students have some problems with their command of english, maybe it's due to the frequent use of abbreviations that they grew used to it.
Well the student was suppose to hand in his project to Mr Hari, as the student could not locate Mr Hari, he texted Mr Hari a message and it goes like this.

"Mr Hari, I've stuffed the thing in your hole..it was difficult"

Maybe by plainly reading it through my entry the effect won't be there.
But i was laughing like mad when Mr HAri told us that.
Me and Audrey, we laughed like mad.

The student was actually saying that he has left his project in Mr Hari's pigeon hole and he had a difficult time putting the project into his pigeon hole as there were too many things in it.

Oh ya! We actually have a MEDAL!!!
We came in 3rd!!!
And we got a MEDAL!!!!
=)
i'm happy bout that.
JUst that i left earlier that's why i didn't got the medal.
It's with Melissa now, gonna get it from her on Monday =))

Seems like i've blabber enoughed.

Gone'

Whole Day

I slept my whole day away yesterday.
Daryl was out fishing with the usual gang, and I was sleeping all the way.Hahas.
Went for singing club yesterday, hmmm, i'm not sure how if I would turn up for the next session because the lesson was a little dry on the theory part.Hais, see how it goes.

I hope things would be better for us.
I always thought I wanted it that way, but no.
I believe we could be better to each other.

misses'

tired life

School has started and i'm like very tired lately. Falling asleep real easily.
Many things to blabber about but nahhs..
Had too much things happening all at once that i nearly did something real foolish.

Went for competition yesterday with my eyes barely able to open. I didn't had rest the previous night. That feeling of losing someone. I was like some sore loser crying my eyes out. I went berserk. My parents thought what happened to me. I was shocked with myself too. I think i really can't handle my emotion well, that feeling was scaryt it's like i'm literally going crazy. But all is fine now. =)

We lost the match, was pist with myself. I wasn't performing at all. NOT AT ALL.
Now it's all over. No more competition. Until next year. Hais.

After match i went to meet Daryl.
Went over to his place.Fell asleep at his place.
Met up with the usuals for dinner at 85.
As we ended our dinner early around 9 plus, we decided to head to Daryl's place for a round of Mahjong.
They played their Mahjong while i happily fall asleep as soon as i hit the bed.
Only to wake up every 10-15 mins? When they have finish one set and Daryl would pull off my blanket waking me up. Trying to make me cry huh! hahas, because the other time at the chalet, I was feeling real tired so i fell asleep but he came to disturb me and I CRIED. hahas
We left Daryl's place exactly 12 MN and wanted to take cab. But since the cab could not take 5 persons, we companied him walked back to his place and we took cab from there, thereafter. People involved in sharing cab was JH,Ken,Paul and myself.

I still feel very tired. Argh. Feel like skipping school today. BUt NO!
Meeting the girls at the interchange later.

No doubt sh wants to JUE JIAO with me. LOL
Thanks girl for being there for me yesterday =)
Your're sweet! (Not kidding)

Alrights got to go prepare already.
Bye'

First Day of School

Alright alright, it's the first day of school yesterday. Which marks the start of Sem2!
First day of school and we're late.LOL =x
There are 2 classes for IAC woot' and i'm with Audrey in Ms Belinda Ng's class.
Hmm, the format for the Trading, Profit and Loss which i USED to know is TOTALLY DIFFERENT! hmm, and i've got COMPETITION today and will not be ablt to turn up for lesson! oh no!!!! and to think that lesson proper starts today argh!!
And for my elective, i am in BFS (Banking and Finance) different for Audrey and the rest, DK was BAD!! real BAD! HUMPH!

Got to reach school by 7am later, that's the reason why i woke up so early.
Going Bukit Batok to play match.
WOOT'!

I hope everything turns out well today. (wishes real badly)

Bf CUT HIS HAIR!
He went to cut morahwk, comp0naied him back to the salon yesterday to trim his hair, layered. Nice.
Now he thinks i love him for what he is not who he is. =(

I hope things could get better.
Now that school has started.

i got to go get ready already.
ciaoz!

WISH ME LUCK!

JUST FUCK IT.
LOATHE IT.
WE ARE ALWAYS LIKE THIS.
HATE MYSELF BECAUSE OF YOU.
IGNORE ME FURTHER.
MAYBE I DESERVE IT.

WHAT'S LOVE.

pouts'

Woke up real early today. Reason being, Daryl called me.Hahas.
Was wondering if i was angry and stuff for not meeting up yesterday. Nah im not.
Talked so much about his "hair". So promises could be broken with fingers crossed.
That's something i just learned.Ha.=(
Ranted,shouted,laughed, giving me reasons and excuses for not cutting his hair.Hahaha.
Oh wells, up to you to decide, i ain't going to nag any further.
Since i was up so early, i did some uploading of pictures to my yahoo photos and i've linked it to my blog. Check it out under my "Museum".
Arguments surfaced when the conversation went on.
"Love me for who i am"
Hmmm..okay.

After uploading my pictures and nothing to do, decided to call him. But he didnt pick up my call, guess he fell back to sleep or just doing his stuffs.
So i went blog hopping once again. One of my friends blog hit me.
It's bout relationship once again. Which i found was applicable for going on a long term r/s.

When you,me and everyone would be thinking if they were with the 'right' one.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, it would be all sweet lovey dovey aka 'Honeymoon Period'. Anticipating their phone calls, their touch, and everything of them.

It's easy to fall in love, when the feeling is there, when you tend to crave for more of the person. Even simple messages received would send us up to cloud No.9

But, after a few mths/yrs feelings fade.
The natural cycle of every relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls becomes a bother, touch is not always welcomed, and everything about your partner becomes a nuisance to you.

HOWEVER TO MAINTAIN A LONG TERM R/S, IT IS NOT FINDING THE 'RIGHT' PERSON. BUT "IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND"

Sustaining love is not an experience. It'll NEVER just happen like that.
"Lasting Love" can't be found just like that.
You have to put in effort.
That's why there's an expression called "The Labour Of Love".

Intriuging is it?..well i copied and paste, didn't really rephrased this entry.
But in a way, i kinda understands it.
Well, there's differnet opinions i guess?..

off'

3D2N

Im back! after the 3D2N chalet.

The first day of the chalet didn't do much, because i had to go back school for training.
So by the time i got back to the chalet i was kinda tired already.
Played MJ and some PS2 games.Hmmm, yups that's all that happened the first night.
As all crammed up the sec level, i slept downstairs on the mattress with dar.
The people upstairs complained about the air-con the next morning because they were freezing upstaris, espically Paul hahaha.No doubt i was tired but i didnt really sleep well cus bf was snoring, and before he could really sleep, i was disturbing him like crazy, hahas, i kept singing songs to him, irritating him.LOL, but we quarrelled after that and it was quite bad, he wanted to hit my phone on the wall. Argh.

The next moring, all woke up real early, around 7plus 8?
As jz got to leave for his driving at 11am. He was kinda furious as Josh didnt came back as promised to return jz's bicycle.
Evening came, and it was time for BBQ.
Little crop ups happened. But all was fine after Dar,Irvin and Mas went to Josh's place to get the foods.
People did turn up. No doubt it was little, but still appreciated that the came =)
For those that didnt, it's alright as they had valid reasons.
EVe and LW,Pei Shi,Irvin,Andrew,Jerald,Willkie,Wee Siong,Nicholas and gf,ShiLin,Keng Sian,Joan..hmmm..yeap thanks people for turning up =)
Took pictures with Eve and PS, hahas was nice seeing them.
Had drinking sessions thereafter, and i guess all were drunk and high.
Woke up with splinting headaches and not remembering much of what happened.
I better not drink so much in future. Woke up to and empty chalet, with only Paul,Andrew, Dar and me left. I remembered Kenneth was saying he felt fucked up..LOL..the rest can't really remember.

Overall, the chalet was okay i guess?..

Oh wells, working at 5.
The PSI level is up once again.116 [yucks] bad air.
enough said.

-Out-
First night..Dar and JH playing PS2.
Me playing MJ with Mas,Ken and JH
2nd Night BBQ =) [ps,eve and me]
Me and Eve
Me and PS

argh.

Just when i thought i could have some peace at home.
SHE has to bring her bunch of friends home, it's nto that i don't welcome them.It's just that my place is in a TOTAL MESS.TOTALLY.
I just dont like the feeling of having guests at my place when my place looks like CRAP.
And now that they are either in the study room or bedroom makes me feel more unhappy bout it.
I would get real mad if their in my room, hogging on my BED!
I'm trying to control my temper now.

And if they're in the study room, my stuff is all over the table!..
argh. Hate this.

Going to bf's chalet later, waiting for him to pick me up.
Been a while since i've been to chalet's or anything that gets me packing my bag.
I guess it would be nice, away from home for a while.
Will be back to work on Sunday, so within this 3 days i HOPE i have FUN, and enjoy myself.
Not much people going, not sure bout tmr, hope ppl do turn up.

Not gonna go much into details le..

I HATE YOU!

nowadays.

It's more of just a few minutes of phone conversation.
Haven been seeing much of each other.
Called me last night, but i was way tired. He was tired too.
He didn't had dinner nor lunch.
Wonder if he's up already.
Was his last day of work yesterday. Got "tekan" real bad.

Many thoughts ran through my mind.
Good and bad.
What's the feeling like right now?..
Wonder if your're up already?..


Yesterday, went to school late. LOL as per usual.
First it was training, and then it was the friendly match against NYP.
woot`
it was nice though. The communication was there, had so much fun, we dived for the ball, i wasn't really on form to do the spiking but other than that, we ahd fun =)
Though we didnt win, but the morale and all were there, that feeling that was lost for quite a while all came back to me. It was like back to sec sch days man.Nice =)

After everything, went over to my cousin's birthday party, at first it felt kind of outta place, cus there were lots of her classmates there. But after that my uncle and all came hahas, so yea.
Ate alot, till my stomach can't take it.

Should i or should i not?..
not sure.
I guess things are better off kept to myself.
Making so much comments and chats just won't help eventually.
Because people won't understand what im trying to tell.
I guess its better i shut-up.

Not sure what im saying,ha.
That's the idea.

vball! woot!

As per usual, went to work today, nothing much happened.
After work, went for training, wahaha, that's where all the stuff began.
Was having loads of fun, playing sets, 3 on 3 and stuffs..blah blah blah..
hahas, had a last minute friendly match at Bedok erm..the Khaki Bukit there.
And something which you only get to watch on tv happened.
A ROBBERY!..
A real life robbery, hahas 3 guys went to chase the robber, brave people huhs..trainin their stamina.But none of us really paid much attention to it cus we were starting the match.
I was so nervous, as per usual..haiis..
But overcomed it after a few games.

It's kinda down the drain yesterday.
Because of small little things and the matter blew up.
Don't wish to continue further, but..
I was real touched by what he did.Serious.Aint kidding.

But right now, he is having fun.
So yea, i shall go sleep.
Because i believe calling wont help a shit.
He didnt pick up my call just now.
Blardy shit!
i'll go sleep alr.

SHIT.

woot-

yeap im back about my life. haha =p

Phew it's nice to have a long hot bath after a long dayyyyyy at work. hehe.
Well, have I been missing for quite a while?..
Well, my tag still seems active.hahas..
Alright people, for this whole week, im gonna be busy with work and training. Will be working 6 days this week. I'm going to earn $$ to keep my survival on-going. hahas,crap.
Alrights, work was kinda BUSY for me, and i MEAN IT!
Reason being, Roland came down. Yes sh laugh at me. I bet you would when u read this entry. =p
I kept myself busy packing pints, giving my ever best service to customers?..hahas..hmmmm, and er..had bad stomache. LOL
There you have it. A BUSY day. LOL. I'm lazy to go into details. hahas.
Alright, yesterday was worse! =( but luckily, IT'S OVER! =))

As I was saying, yesterday was worse, because I was working at the restaurant and there was HUGE function going on. A wedding banquet.
Luckily i wasn't on the banquet side, bleah. But i aint having a good time on the restaurant side boohoo.We were running like a blardy full house at the start of the night shift.
Tons of customer flocked into the restaurant. In a funny way or other, Willkie came with his family for dinner!!! what a day! hahas, lucky him i don't know his parents name. Wahaha..Sorry im kinda lame, just kidding, but his mum sure wasnt nice to mess with i guess?..LOL..
I was literally on the ball man, BALL!! hahaha, Had so much to do, serve menu,serve bread,fil the CUPS with drinks, Wine, Customer, and blah blah blah.Whew, typing everything out sure would kill my poor fingers. So im not gonna continue. LOL.

I'm working 10-6 tomorrow, people do visit me if ya free?..hahas..
Hmm, Mr Daryl is out with Mas and Co. not gonna mumble anything to him, hahas, Im fine alone at home enjoying the tv =)) serious!
He was mentioning that he saw some hot chicks today, and my reaction was like, Oh..okay good for you, AND HE BLARDY WENT BERSERK..hahahaha..well, not really berserk, he just wants me to flare up but i just feels that it wasnt necessary, he sees hot chicks i see hunks..wahahah..
Does it really kills to literally SEE people?..wahaha, I don't know.
The mysteries lies in the eyes of the beholder...wahahah..
Sounds familiar?..well it's from the "No Fear" tee-shirt.
Aint sure why i can still remember that quote that well..hahahs..

Alright im off
-Out-

IMVU

went for work and training, lately tt's my lifestyle. Work and training.
Wasnt really a good day for me ytd, cus sort of lyk had a little conflict during training, i wasn't on form and the morale of the team was kinda bad.
Well, and i was having fever, hmmm, what a day.

Woke up kind of early today, and was excited to try out the IMVU thingy. lol
And it's kind of fun to me, sort of Sims-lookalike. lol..
Had fun chatting with van in IMVU..
AUDREY!! YVONNE!!! d/l IMVU!!! hahas..then we can slack in starbucks and chat le..
lol..

'out

Hong Kong Cafe part II

Aright im back here to blabber once again.
Just came back from work, feeling kinda exhausted though i didnt do much at work today.
Well took alot of pictures today, hahas.

Alrights bout last night.
Met up people of East View Primary.hahas.
Had dinner at Hong Kong Cafe.
People involved-Fang,Pei,Phei,Jun and Na..
hahas..we laughed so much, we ate alot and we had DESERT! whoot`
what a dinner. =))

Alright i guess my mind is too dead to blabber too much..
hahas..
i'll try to upoad pics now.

Missed my bf ):
Though we quarrelled and all,
I melted when he just treats me sweetly.
I miss your bear hug!..
Will most likely be seeing him on either Thurs or Fri..not sure.
Miss you.

Dinner at HOng Kong Cafe

Met up with the usuals for dinner..wonder if im able to upload the pics.
After meeting up with them, my moodswings all gone. hahas.Funny bunch of nonsense people, never fail to brighten up people's day. =))
Argh stupid blogger is giving me probs. Shall upload the pics other time.
Got to go, working at 10 tmr.

nights.

okay, so i've failed.
No matter what i do, fucking things happens.
I kept very calm, tried talking nicely on the phone.
And i fucking missed out on the submit request part!..
I was so engrossed on the blardy class details shit, i omitted the submit request part.
Just cause i wanted to get the the submission thing over and done with soon.
It resulted in more shit. Now he is left with some crappy module, seriously i feel bad. I hate doing this kind of things.Yes, no doubt it's something very simple. Yet, I SCREWED IT UP.
Yes, i don't use my brains, yes its all my fault. Why the hell they only open up so little vacancies.
When i was in the page, it was left with 4 vacancies, but i screwed it up.
Yes, I've SCREWED IT UP.

I'm way disappointed with my capability. Seriously, what am i good for?.
Nothing i suppose, N-O-T-H-I-N-G
I'm only good at whining,sleeping,crying my eyes out for all the stupid reasons.
It's all my fault, what can i do to make things better?..N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
Bascially, i've did nothing right. Nothing to make him happy.
Therefore, in conclusion- A B-U-R-D-E-N to him.
Yes, a BURDEN. Nothing but a BURDEN to him.
I am neither good in studies, nor do i follow instructions well.
What the hell is wrong with me?..
People yelled at me for the same reasons.
Everyone, all of my boyfriends.
I do see this problem, by why can't i fix it?..
I fucking suck to the core.
Why can't i get things done correctly.

A senior crew who doesn't do the part of one.
A student who failed in her studies.
A girlfriend who failed in doing anything right for the relationship.
A daughter who failed - (one that would do the parents proud.)
A friend who people rather not have.

I'm afterall- a failure.

Enough said, my day is busted.

mandatory IS modules

Im up so early today because i gotta sign up an IS module for bf, as he got work, i gotta help out.
I don't seem to understand what the e-mail was trying to say, it seems like they are writing in some gibberish language which i dont understand. Hahas.
I bet i got to be real calm when i call him later at 12pm to do his IS module thingy.
Everytime when i got to do this kind of thingy, i'll get so pist, as it's like i'm the one viewing the thing not knowing a clue on how to go about with it, while he is the one knowing what to do but can't view it and will have to try his best to explain to me. IN conclusion, with both impatient people trying to work out something on the phone would mean D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.
I hope i don't piss him off. If i do and he hangs up the phone, there goes his IS module.
The stupid computer would randomly allocate him. And if that happens, I would be in deep shit.
Therefore i got to be real NICE and i MEAN it. I won't want the computer to randomly pick a stupid IS for him, and eventually it's whose fault for that...not him, not the com, not my parents, not his parents..ITS MY FAULT. So yea, im in a sort of stressful position myself too..
Hahas, enough said, i've got to get ready.

'Out

busy day at Tembling

Loads of customers today, i was late.hahas, as per usual.
Saw my primary school friend, Cheryl.Gave her discount.
Had "zui kuey" for dinner, hahas very nice! =)
My manager went to buy K800i when he went to got us dinner. IDIOT.
Meeting up with my primary school friends tomorrow..Whee` =))
Currently waiting for my hair to dry before heading to bed, so during the meantime, i'll just surf the net or something.
I've seem to misplaced my Ftt receipt.OMG, and i've forgotten the date.Im D-E-A-D.
Alright i've seem to lose the talent of blogging nonsense on my blog..
Enough said..
Im off

When love comes around'

just woke up;

Just woke up!..omg..half a day wasted..LOL
Actually woke up at 10 plus this morning, but i felt that it was too early for me..
After heading back to sleep, i only woke up now. Damm.
Now my eyes are still so swollen, arghs. hahas
Going to work soon, gotta go prepare soon. hmmm,
How's everything?..

'Out

my eyes are feeling real tiny..hahas

Finally!! i've finally complete watching the whole show of Full House..all the Dvd..wahahas..
and my eyes feel way so tiny..hahahs..
and i guess its bed time for me..*yawns*
A very nice show which i wont feel bored watching it over and over again..
No doubt they are always bickering at one another..but, in a way..its all in all a feeling which is difficult to explain..only be felt with the heart =))

I can feel exactly what they went through..
This shows brings out the cuteness of the character of ji en..
Her acting is awesome, her facial expression..when she gets mad..being provoked..
hahas..she's really very cute..tt's why it made Rain "Ying Zai" fell so deeply in love with her, she has a unique character that attracts him to her.
She gets along well with people and she makes every little thing seems so enjoyable doing..
She's a simple,innocent girl..that never allows others to bully her..
A strong and independent girl..on the other hand..as she is innocent..her thinkings at times would be kinda.."ben ben de"..hahas..
Well..it's a MUST WATCH drama series..

It makes u cry.laugh,and feel her silliness..
hahahs..overall a nice show!!!..
my eyes are way tiny now..lol..
and my nose hurts!..
loads of tissue used tonight..lol..due to my tears..hahas..
mum gonna nag at me again..=x

Went to work today, was quite enjoyable..
worked with fen and jean sure brings the gossip queens together man..LOL..=p
dear came to pick me up after work, so sweet bahhs?..hehe =x
guess he's either still playing game, or asleep at Ken's place..
shall turn in already..
im working tmr..6-11 pm at Tembling Haagen Dazs..
bleahs..

' Love =))

at home-PArt 2

Woke up around 1 plus just now..
woke up to an empty house..no one around..only me and my dog..
wonder where have my sisters gone..but oh well..it's good to be alone at times..

went out for dinner ytd..met up with bf.
had rojak for dinner..and we headed to CS's arcade to play the Drums.
Was suppose to be having dinner with ken and the rest, but all came late, so me and bf have our dinner first.
After playing at the arcade..mas came and the rest has arrived at the mutton shop..so we went over to meet them. And off we headed to Ken's place..

After trying for about 4 hours or more?..lol..on the guitar..i manage to play "Holiday" starting base part and "Guang Huai Fang Shi" starting part..hahas..all half past six..=p
Dear went in to Ken's rm to rest while i continued playing on the guitar..watched tv all the way till bout 5..after Oprah's show..went homez..

Bf felt that i didnt show any concern for him ytd, as he was still ill..and he's grown numb to my "sorry's".Well seriously, i mislooked that part out. I thought he was feeling better and everything, and that he was playing games with ken and mas at first..so i was left playin on the guitar..for quite a while..i don't know..

'Out

alone at home

hello mr daryl..view my blog eh..wahahahs..

aiya..it's so difficult to upload pics to my BLOG!!! argh! =((


yeah! can upload the pic alr..hahas..i wana buy this bag..wahaha..it's only 39 bucks..wahaha..im gonna get u! next month..ahahs..

and that was my lunch..hahas..bleah

the bag i wana buy..wahahs..

well..im bored at home..wahahs..

oh well..i noe i look stupid..but its my PROB!! hahas..

im just sick with this CRAMPS!..its driving me nuts..

bleah!

bad =((

i am currently PMS-ing officially NASTY
The cramps are officially killing me..
i skipped singing club for today..
disappointed =(
can't sing!!..
was looking forward for today..
at first i was lazy to get out of bed to prepare for Singing Club..
But when i finally got up to prepare..
The cramps attacked me...
AAArrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

not in a good mood...dont mess with me..i bite!

Photographs speaks a thousand memories.

Went over to Dar's place to bring him to the doctors..
Was not in a ease of mind, having to press the doorbell and making the grandmother answer the door.
Because somehow..i know that his family members doesn't really like me..
Dar was still having high fever..he was like sort of bed-ridden..
Helped him put on his clothes..and brought him to the doc.
I didnt really treat him nicely..i kept using the towel..dapped it into the pail of ice water..and smacked it onto his body..hahas..kinda mean..=x
Well..after bringing him to the doc..and company him back home..helped him dish the porridge and fed him..like a big baby..=x..
but he was ill..real ill..so i tried my best to take care of him..
After makin sure that he has his med and barley water, his grandma cooked..rested for a while and i left for home arnd 6..

Did nothing much at home..i bought fruits on my way back..
watched tv..and chatted a little with my sis..
took out my photo album..laughed at the pictures..
and some memories..

and i found my diary..that's like so long time ago..
afterall..its nothhing..
im gg to school for the singin club thingy..
aint sure how many will show up...
just try my luck..maybe after that drop by dar's place and check on him or something..

good nites.

how long more?

how long more can i still endure with all the hurting words?..well..i dont know..
It's like the rubber band is stretching longer and longer..and it aint gonna hold back..it's just stretching the band to the extreme limit..
I've grown numb..
you knew i didnt liked being scolded to a drastic state..
Why is it that at times like this you make me feel that ur're so insensible..
i'll take that ur're sick and not argue back with you..
But that doesnt mean that you can jolly well..take me for granted..
You've always said that i hurt ur feelings..have you considered mine?..
I know all these vulgarities are in you..you cant change that..but at least try when you want to use these words on me..
i'm just telling you..this rubber band is stretching...
please dont use all these strong words on me..
It wont salvage the situation..it'll just make me walk away. far far away...

failure.

Wasnt really a good day today.
Met up with PS and yL..walked around Tm as Ps wanted to get jacket for work..
She needs a total white jacket..but we found none..
After shopping and having dinner with them..
They headed home..while i went to meet him and the rest.
Well..he was complaining that he wasn't really feeling that good..
But i didnt really bothered..
I remembered once when he was ill..
I skipped my first main team training..for touch rugby..just to take care of him..
Now he's sick once again..
Had a little quarrel..and both gave the cold shoulders..
throughout the whole of the time..
He was feeling real weak..
After smoking..he got worse..thus we went back by cab..him,mas and me..the usual 3
I alighted first..
i shouldnt had alighted..should had gone over to his place..
He was right..
I only cared about myself..
I did had the intention of going over to his place..to take care of him..
But i didnt..
Not sure what i was angry about..
I left him alone....im so FUCKED UP..
Wasnt there for him when he needed me the most..
now im worried sick..feel like just takin my dad's bicycle and go over to his place..
But what can i do?..it's already late..and i don't know my way to his place by bicycle..
I regret not going over to his place..wtf was i angry about?!!!.. :(
I guess the only thing i can do..which i would..is to appear at his block downstairs tomorrow..
Call him around 11plus?..or maybe earlier..and bring him to the doctor..
He did call me when he reached home..but he didnt do anything..
Not even taking the panadol..
He's running a high fever....
Dammit..im so fucked up..
FUCKED UP.

Dear,im really sorry. I should had gone over to your place..
At least i could be there to sponge you..and make sure u take ur medicine..
But i wasnt there to do anything..
What have i done?..

I deserve nothing man..
I feel so tired myself.
Fucked up.

a song felt with memories..

I guess Bf would be real upset to know tt im listenin to Jay Chou's latest song right now..
i cant help it..seriously..his songs are real nice..i swear..

Was listening to Bai Se Feng Che..oh mann!..i swear..that song sure was meaningful..
It made me well..cried. Yupps..i cried, because it brought back memories of me and my once best friends back in RC haagen Dazs..
They were very nice people..aint sure what was the reason..all of us went our seperate ways..and im only in contact with fen..cus we're now working at Tembling..
Reminiscing back of the past..when we went to Mt Faber, while kelz drove us up there..LOL..
It was so much of funny episodes running through my mind..
They were the colest collegues i ever had in RC..bestest wroking kahkis..the unbeatables..lol..

Well..i dont mind meeting up with them..
But i believe things would be different now..
It's like those feelings were lost..
Never brought back..
and that..they have their new groups now..
yupps..
nothing much..

packed.

Well i just got back home after fetching my sis back from school..she had fever and was stuck in the sick bay..thus i've got to rescue her..lol..

let's back track..
Accompanied sh to a few shops ytd..and she got her "gift"..hahas..after which..met Audrey..companied her down to Novena..we didnt had to get out of Novena as we saw her cousin whom, her friend wanted to head down to the headquarters for an interview..so all Audrey had to do was to pass her the stuff and off we head to next destination..
Bugis..wahhas..
We went there to look for yvonne at the same time..Aud went for the interview..
von was real hyper ytd..seems like after her clubbin session..she cant stop dancing..
she was dancing away ytd when we saw her at her store..wahahs..
i bought a white watch..hahas..i knda like it alot..but still it cant replace my adidas..hahas..

After everything..Aud and i head back to Tamp..it's time for our GYM session..LOL..yes i've said GYM!!..hahhas..
On our way to the GYm..i saw her..what a day!..i'm not sure what was her problem..but she still has that look back then in school..well..can u wake up girl?!!..no one lives in the past?!!..and her stupid POPEYE friend..trust u to have this kind of friend..the sight of that POPEYE irks me..yucks..
Oh well forget about it..it's ur lost girl..not mine.. ;p
We hit the GYM and finished after about an hour plus nearing 2?..Aud did the treadmills for full 20mins..while i went around doing the weights and stuff..hahahs..LOADS of nonsense happened..
hahhas..before we did the treadmill..we tried doing cruches and sit-ups..we tried hooking on to each other's leg and proceed with our sit-ups..but i cant help it but kept laughing..hahahs..so full of nonsense..there were many people there ytd night..thus causing me and aud a little shy..hahahs..

After our gym session we took pics..lol..and headed for....erm.........dinner..
LOL..well i ate Bah Chor Mee..and Aud Yong Tau Hu soup..she wasted her rice..hahas..
and yeap..i headed home..
rest,watch tv,upload pics
took med..and i doze off real soon..
hahas..

alriights shall upload some pics..
and back to tv..hehe :)

oh yupps! it's dear off day today..so i'm gonna company him..;)
tatas!

K-tved.

Yeap! went ktv-ed yesterday, with sh..kind of disappointed. My singing has gone down the drain..=(
Ktv-ed till bout 7..and went for dinner..
Dinner-ed at Tamp swiming complex's Sushi restaurant..well the food aint that bad?..kinda nice though..well after dinner was shoppin a while at Pasa malam..well..

hmm..after that, i headed home..nothing much..went home.
Felt kind of nauseous, not sure..maybe i'm still sick and everything..

hadn't check the net about the prices for the best package to Thailand..

well i have nothing to further scribble on my blog..
gtg..working at 6 today..
but i'm heading down to Cs today..
to return sh her phone..

Full House

A holiday which i long wanted..but not sure of how to spend it..
therefore im watching Full House all over again..hehe..
No doubt i've watched this show b4..but..still...i like Ji En and Ying zai..they rawks..such a cute couple..i wish i had those kind of life..
Well..should i go for a holiday?..hmmm not sure..Dear called me last night..telling me bout the holiday plan..well. i like holiday..but..i've not save any money..monetary issuse is a big problem for me..Dear was planning on Thailand..hmmm..i wana go there!!! hahas..but since $$ is in the way..hmm..maybe KL will do..=)) i don't mind that..hehes..oh well oh well..
Dear's been working hard these days..he got home only bout 4.35 AM! poor him..=( and he should be awake by now..needs to reach HarbourFront by 1.30pm.. hmmm..hasn't seen each other for like 4 Days already?..
Well..many things happened..sometimes..i miss him alot..sometimes..i just feel like being alone...well...currently..we're fine once again..
Yeap..that's about it..
It feels kind of weird not going to school..it's like i'm used to going to school..at least my days were like faster to get by.Now that i'm working at Tembling..there's seriously nothing much for me to do, just sitting on the counter and watch the cars go by. Will be meeting Sh later..gg to K-tv..wahahs..it's been a long time since i last went to K-tvs..hmm..wonder if she can wake up on time mahhs..she got home only like 6plus AM..well..everyone has everything to do during the holidays..should i start my dieting now?..hehe..

Alrights..back to my show..
Oh! you just signed in..=)) its been a long time..

back' couch potato..
misses-

a rainy day at work..

It's another day at work..well..hmm..openin as usual..well..there's nothin much..
Only 2 customers..from 11-3pm..hahas..

Yu feng came in early today..so yeap..i cud sit back and watch the on-going entertainment..hahas..
Nothing much done today, got home changed and time to sleep..
thought there was friendly match today..but it was cancelled..so yeap..
SLEEEPPPP!!! ZzzZZzzZZzz..so shiok..hehe

It's nice to jsut stay home and sleep in..=))
I was being locked out!!! when i got home..cus i didnt bring my keys..again..arrgghh..someone please remind me bout my keys..hahhas..
aarrgghhh........

Tembling people aint that hostile after all..
and guess wad..hahahs..one of the manager lives just opposite my block! wahaha..

im back with HD..

HeyHeyHey..im back.back again.Back working my arse out at Haagen Dazs..hahas..well..it wasnt much work..serious..the customers that came were countable..
ermm..i guess total in all less than 10 customers..wahahas..
Im working at Tembling..bleah hahas..
Heard that its closing down..but aint sure when.."going CS" wHhheeeee!! =)

Nothing much done at work today..just slacked with fen and catch up the times we had missed out on. So much to talk about..wahahas..no doubt..theres like a little awkwardness bwtween us..or is that how i feel..yupps..im not sure how to put it..but it just felt like..err..not shy of what to say..there were a few moments of silence here and there..

I see my old-self in fen..she's so like my past..
I miss the times..
I use to be so talkative like her..
it's like me and fen had swopped positions..
she sure is enjoying her life right now..i feel happy for her..=))

Im not sure of certain things, not sure how to put it,
some times, or many a times things fade.

Well..aint sure what im saying once again..
welll




BLEAH!..

Todays' mood: Moodless.

woooHHHOooo!!!

Finally!!! EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!! woohoo!!!..
oh well..screwed up m y paper..but oh wells!..its finally my long awaited holiday..
arghh..but it also means i've got to start working already..bloody hell..my managers are fast man..they dont give me a break......
But on the other hand..no work=no $=cant go out and shop or have fun..
haiis..................

Thanks to Audrey,Von,Van,Dk,Ryan,Zhe Wei..some help from Edmond,Jie Yin,..u people rock!!!!..thanks for helpin me out in my AFd..=))

Stress period finally over..
Now..i just hope that everything turns out fine for everyone..

good to go =))

After 12 hrs+ of slp..im good to go =)
sorry von..didnt went with u to study last night..i took med and i drop dead..sorry sorry..=(
went over to bf's place for a while ytd..met up to see e doc together..LOL..i was terribly coughin..
At first it was just companying him to see e doc..But after hearing me cough he cudnt stand it anymore..so i've got to register to see the doc too..arrrghh..=(
Went over to bf's place to rest..cus i was having headache..bf slept real fast!..lyk within 2 mins..omg..and throughout i could not sleep..cus of the thunderous SNORING..ZZzzz
i tried using Audrey's method..pressing his nose..LOL..i did all sorts of nonsense just to stop him from snoring..i even covered his nose and mouth for few secs..
it did woke him up..it did stop..BUT ONLY FOR A WHILE!!!!!..argghh..
so i tried sleepin on the floor...arrgghh..its too cold for me..so i got back up and tried to cover his nose or something..ARGH!..i gave up hope..i jus lay there..feeling more sick than ever..was having fever..felt so so so uncomfortable..i didnt want to make noise cus i guess bf's real tired..he hadnt sleep much lately..so i jus lie there and listen to his snoring..left his place at 6.30pm..groggly..rush to the ATM to draw money and took cab home..i was real sick at that point in time..
The cab drive was nice..told me to take care of myself and everything..cus i was coughing real badly..now my throat feels so dry and painful when i try to swallow down my saliva..aaarrgghh...im losing my voice..wahahas..
im sorry to everyone whom called me but i didnt pick up their calls..SORRY PEOPLE!!!..
June i dunno if ur're at Macs last nite or not..im sorry too..the medicine that i took almost most of it causes drowsiness..SORRY PEOPLE..really sorry!!!..=((
alot of AFD to catch up today..for today..and only today..I'VE GOT TO HOLD ON!!!..

Pei finally uploaded the pics we took during her birthday..hehehe..
shall upload one pic of me with tt famous pose..lol..
did i mention that i waited for bf outside his house for half and hour ytd?..hahahs..my bloody line got cut off for a while and i could not reply anything or call anyone..argghh..basket..
oh wells..im just DAN BAI..
bleahs..
OH yeap HAppy Belated Birthday to DK..it was his bdae ytd..
they celebrated his bdae at the Macaroni Cafe..cutting cake w/o waitin for US!..lol..
it was a tiramisu cake..=x so i only ate the chocolate part..
yeap..tt's abt it..
byee
DAN BAI

FINALLY!!!!!!

Finally..
finally BFD is down :) left AFD to go..
Was coughin so badly while doing the paper..felt so bad..its lyk so disturbing to others..Sorry People..
Used one whole packet of tissue for the runnin nose..arggh..sick..
now im not feeling so stress..but there's still stress..hahas..cus im afraid of my AFD..haiis..i've been coughing so badly that it feels lyk my throat is coming out soon..
i guess i'll go rest a while first..
niites

im sick sick SICK!!!!

Have been coughing and sneezing for the whole day..it's getting real irritating..
i rested a while bout 2 hrs..im still feelin kinda tired.."ahhhchewww"
argghh..there goes the sneezing again..
Study so much till i cant take it anymore, so many things cramped up in my mind.
He woke up at 7 plus..now over at josh's place..
The phone convo was a little silent..like not sure of what to be said, i feel hurt. But the thought of last night just simply wont go away from my mind this time round.

I needed someone to hug today, but no one.
I needed someone to take care of me today- but none.
I didnt msg or anything..didnt want to disturb..
Didnt know i was ill till i told him so.
I want this exam to be done and over with.
I've not started with AFd..i know no SHIT.
I want to break down and give up everything.
But i cant...

"ahhhchewww"..basket..

im nasty-
go away.
i miss the cheerful me in tt pic.

Exhausted-

Im sick! omg..im down with flu and slight fever..was coughing the whole night..waking my sisters up..sorry about it..i wasnt able to sleep at all last night..i guess i only slept at 3plus..

Had been going to the Macs to study...only studied BFD..omg..im afraid i will fail my Major.
If i really failed..i guess i just drop out of school..and work..my parents arent happy that im still wasting their money studying..They dont trust me..they doubt me..With these kind of attitute to me..It's not encouraging me to study well..i just got more depressed..its all about the monetary issuse..
Went out to celebrate Pei's birthday..initial plan was to bring her to Chai Chee's CC to sing karaokae..but...cus there were so little people..so change of plan..we went to town to shop and eat SUSHI..wahahas..we ate so much till we couldnt eat anymore..therefore..we gotta hid the sushi's in the plastic bag..and threw it away..(sssssshhhh)
After eating and all..PS gotta go alr..left me and sh to walk around..were kinda tired..
I want to join the Brazilian some sort of martial arts combining with music,dance and martial arts..it's really nice..we stood there to watch it for quite some time...
After that sh bf came so we went to look around for food to eat..
ended in ThaiExpress..i wanted to have the fruit salad..but..nahhs..they didnt have mango..so i chose Sour Plum drink..which i only drank like 1/4?..lol..
Bf came soon after so we went our seperate ways..sh and her bf went their FoodFair i guess?...
While me and him had some problem..
Wasnt happy bout alot of things..things which he felt..i shouldnt had done..
I know im sorry to kinda expect so much from u..Sometimes..i just dont want u to get into trouble..
It made me realise i wasnt tt good after all..Please dont walk away..i cant afford to be chasing u back all the time..

im no longer who i use to be..
accept me for who i am..

Oh my goodness-

After the long hours of studying im finally gg BERSERK...(is it spelt tt way?..hmmm)
Studied at home ytd..and Tamp Mac..omg..BFD whole day...
hmmmm..currently i can smell Bak Kut Teh fragrance twirling around me..hmmm...yummy..wonder which unit is it coming from..wahahas..
Oh wells got up like an hour ago..and here i am once again..hahas..
Dear hasnt msg me..guess he's busy...
Went studying at Tamp Mac last night..me and ACT sweetie =x
We ACTUALLY TAWNED!!! can u believe it?! LOL..wahahha..went home bout 5 plus?..6?..
We studied till bout 3plus and the bonkers mode came to us..we just pick on people to talk bout and laugh our heads off man..hahahs..we were lyk some drug addicts on cracks or smth..LOL..
I laughed till snorting could be heard..and i gave the person sitting kind of beside us a shock..LOL..oh wells..madness always hits me in the wee hours..=X
Before gg to mac to study..i went over to Suntec groggly to meet Dear after an angry phone call from him..LOL..oh wells..what to do?..a gf got to do what a gf got to do..so yeap..not gonna whine bout tt too..or else he'll think i dont love him anymore..hahahas..
I guess after gg to the toilet to do my big business..im off to the STUDY room..to study my BFD before heading off to mac to study AFD..
i feel lyk uploading a countdown counter in my blog. hmmm..but aint sure how to go about with it..
Omg..all the BFD shit are rotating in my head..argggghhh..gotta store them till lyk the 11 Sep..unleashed all the knowledge i know on the bloody paper..i gotta PERSERVERE!!!!...
alright alright i gtg!!!
the sheat is coming out!!!!
oooooohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!