Deceived?

Apparently I still don't get it. Am I really that simple minded till the extend that I can't even tell if this person is good or bad. Im not talking about 1st impression. Maybe more like how much you understand this particular person.

To me, I only see skin deep that's all. I trust too easily. That's my downside. Till it literally slaps me in the face, then I will realise what I am facing. I don't feel any bad vibes seriously, but I do have my doubts.

Looks can be deceiving. I've heard this many times, still?..

What say you?.

First Hand Experience

It was close shave with death last night, but not close enough yet. Till the next time.
Off to prepare for work once again.

My weekends burnt once again. Lucky there's Vi today =)
I bought Ettu Sai's acne concealer, hope it can create miracle. $36! and 2 MANGO tank tops =)
love loves.
Seafood platter for 2 was a killer, I feel so bloated now.

Now they are calling out to me. Eh ah pui. zzz
Thanks so much for that mum and dad. IDIOTS.

Off to work`

Gullible.

Apparently, I trust people too easily till it backfires. How great can that be, it's like the saying goes " people farts and you Tarik ".

At least the tide is over.

Good nights.

Edited--

Preparing for work now, just take a look outside the window..Oh man.. I wanna sleep in too.. Nic is sleeping so soundly that she is snoring right now..Hahahs!! yeap she came over my place to meet up for a while. Oh God I dont really ask for much, but at least a decent load for today, Im so nervous once again. And apart from that, Im feeling sleepy!!!!!! zzz. =(

It never gave me the accomplished feeling. Like it's finally a dream come true!, to me it's just another shift job. Whinning Jo.

Alright, I guess I need to be a little positive, a little more positive. Im looking forward to today's flight and that letter Nic said she dropped into my mailbox. I wonder what it is =))) hehe. It's not a love letter from her, please dont misunderstand, it's from the office. Keke, I wonder and wonder.. =))

Off to prepare now..
Ciaoz`

Blink of an eye

Just with a blink of an eye, my leave is coming to an end. Tomorrow would be back to square one. WORK. Man, I feel as if my leave should have been a longer one, hais. Greedy me. At least it keeps my mind off stuffs, looking forward to Friday/Saturday. Okay maybe Sunday, cus Saturday would most prolly be a sleeping day. Or should I join after work? which is like past midnight?.I guess not. Let him be. Else I'm like a 24/7 glue that sticks to him everytime he books out.

Had another nightmare, this time it was me wanting to leave Mantianal. Holy crap. I can't remember why, but I was devastated in the dream, for reasons I don't know why.

I guess I'll just do some read ups, tomorrow would be my JCL SNY, like FINALLY they planned me a day. To Phuket.

I asked myself that question, and I dont know how to reply.
So dont bother asking me, I'll tell you the same thing that I told myself too.

Jo.

I dont understand

Why?. I thought this phase has long past me, and it wont come back for good. Why? why is it bumping against me again?, what have I done wrong again to be reminded of it once again?. Can't you just find someone else to talk to? Yes. If you have not known, PARANONIA is back.

I cant be bothered anymore. Seriously. Enough is enough.

Grief

So many unhappy events happening around me, till I'm suffocated. I need a breather. My mind has to stop thinking for a while. New problems added, I know I cant help everyone solve everything, but I guess it's my nature, Im simply concerned nosy about everything. Headaches been bad lately, I don't know why. Been popping painkillers, doesn't seem to be of much help. I need to relax..rest. This upcoming 5 days leave would be a breather for me. Hopefully I recover.

Headache is killing me.

Iron and broken nail

Woke up with bad headache this morning, thus I skipped driving. Hais.

This morning felt weird. I had difficulty waking up, as those something is surpressing me. Guess I was too tired, I'm not sure if it was a dream or im subconciously awake, but I remembered hearing noises coming from the living room, that's why I tried to wake up but it was so difficult. I tried shouting but to no avail. No voice came out even though I used all my might, it took me a while maybe a good 5-10 mins? Im not sure but I was struggling. I kept shouting, till finally I hear myself. I woke up both arms numbed, and my head felt heavy. Too tired I guess.

Met up with Nic for lunch at TM - Tori Q =) been a long time since I had that, and it's still good. The tenderness of the chicken and the pickles and the sauce for the rice. It all blended perfectly =) more KGS added. Slacked with Nic at level 4 gossiped and more gossips. hahas. Nothing better to do, we just go on and on, till it was bout 2 plus when she had to make a move. Proceeded to Courts on my own and bought the new iron, as the one at home gave way this morning. My nail broke half way and it hurts like hell. The acrylic came off, and now it's my own nails that's left, freaking ugly.

[ The one that gave way.. ]
[ Pink is the new love =) ]


[ Just look at that fugly nail. ]


A call that caught me offguard.

Thoughts

I wonder if I'm really sensible enough, reasonable and neutral enough?

Many past memories had been entering my head lately, how this happened how that happened, how I went overboard with it, how they treated me. So many flashbacks.. all jumbled up. Worried, sad, angry all filled up in me. Worried of what's happening around me, sad when I had no one to turn to, angry when people vent their anger on me. Many more. I still can't see what my future would be like. But enough is enough, many said my motivation lifespan is way too little, no self discipline on that. And I can see for myself if Im not working on my life, it's not going anywhere in the future.

I need to slap myself up. I've lead an aimless life and it's enough for me already. 20 years of having fun. It's time to buck up and work for something that I want in the future. My aim is simple, just to lead a well to do life. Well to do as in able to provide, to shop, to tour around once a while, my own home. Okay maybe I can stay with my family, just revamp the rooms will do. =)

Step by step I guess.
Nites.

If you just realise what I just realise...

Problems aside

Problems aside for now. I wish I have my own room, I've decided to take the study room as mine. I will start changing it during my leave. Which is coming very soon. 11 Oct-15 Oct.

Think ahead. Think for the future.

Long

It's been a while now since I last updated and I almost forget what was my password.
Many things have been happening lately and it's still ongoing.

My head has been hurting like mad lately.

Departure..Not

My khaki is leaving, both sad and happy. More of the sad though.

Happy that at least she's not stressed up anymore.

1 thing I learn from drifting. It drifts further. Im afraid this would be another drifting friendship. Hais. It's always like this. When Im really comfortable with this person, some reasons have to happen and people starts drifting.

True we can plan something and maybe meet up and all. But I've heard it too many times. I'm one person that cant stick to the plans, always having something coming up at the very last minute. I've lost touch with my secondary school babes. Even that handful is difficult to meet up with them. I've tried planning to meet up, but same thing goes again, something crops up. Or I went awol without any msgs.

Independent loner I guess.

Got appointment for my nails. Got to go prepare already.

Ciaoz.

The call

Received an unexpected call. But I didn't answer, no point.

Last night Chelsea vs Man Utd.
It was so exciting! Chelsea nearly lost! whew, close shave luckily Chelsea scored else the botak would be so upset bout it. He wore his camo helmet running around the living room, it was so hilarious, he's abck in camp :( come back soon.

Tomorrow would be our J class training, batchgirls!!! :)
Picture taking session. GOssips!! hahas. Can't wait.

Prepare for work now.

Ciaoz =)

My Best Friend's Girl

I love it! =) I like this show alot. Dane Cook is good. He fits the role perfectly. Anyways, I just love slacking out on Saturday Nights. Though the initial plan was clubbing but we were kinda lazy so Movie was decided. And Im glad I chose to watch it. Because it was worth it.

Not too much of details here, I ain't no spoiler. Go catch it. =)

Im still eating alot, but surprisingly I couldn't finish the popcorns for once! for people who knows me well enough, will know that at the end of the movie, Im always left with popcorn all over my seat and myself. LOL. I don't know why, but yea. =p

Edited.--
Im changing my daily routine =) see how it goes.

Alright good nights people.
Have a good rest Joanne. Let your god damn mind rest for once.
Peace out.
xoxo,
Jo.

Pain

It's hurting so much! Crap. The tummyache is killing. =(

Para

I fucking hate it. I cant stop thinking bout it. No point yelling either.
Fucking why must what they say be true. What the fuck am I suppose to do now?

Thanks for playing this over me over and over again GOD.
Why put me in such situation. If Im gonna lose it, Im not gonna fucking brood over it anymore.
It's not te same anymore. I knew we lost it.

Weight issues

Seriously, it's getting on my nerves, the munching just goes on. Is this a problem or it's just me that is having problems controlling myself. Im binging man. ALOT. Till it's pretty bad. I've gained so much since he POP-ed. Im not trying to put the blame on someone but yea. Im eating alot, maybe cus my stress level has gone down like way and alot and Im more optimistic lately, that everything I do got to do with food. It's been such a freaking long time since I had weight problems, and now it's back to HAUNT ME again! Freaking crap man, where's my gym sessions and all gone to! PRocrastinations, blame the weather, blame the mood Im in. Everything boils down to me. Why am I popping food into my mouth! is there any alternatives?! Im gonna goggle and see the reasons to why Im binging.



Just last night, I bought black pepper seafood pasta from Swensen's to Dar's place. 2 set. 1 for him and 1 for myself. I ate more than him! ARGH!
He looks freaking slim right now, I wonder where that belly went. UGH!
This is so irritating, the tummy is bulging out already yet I still cant stop EATING!!
This is the side effect of quitting from........but if you wanna live a healthy lifestyle you got to quit that. CRAP THIS SHIT MAN!

LOL. Omg, Im going on and on bout my weight problems..haha.
Oh yea, watched that " Forgetting Sarah Marshall " movie at his place



seriously they are motivating me to work out like real soon, okay i believe people that knows me know the fact that when I say it motivates me, last for maybe the most 3 days, and Im back to square one.



FAT CHUBS is back, I hate it when he calls me CHUBS. Like I rather people say Im slim and all.
Stupid. Nothing will work when Im just ranting.

Fuckomofo.

BORED!

Today I feel a little tired, a little lazy. What a week, this week is bad. On a lighter note =) POP LO! hahas.

Shall upload the pictures soon.

Happy belated birthday GIRL =)

Goh Pei Shi.

PS: This is your 20th birthday.

Sorry wasn't able to celebrate ur 21st this yr, but nonetheless, hopefully there's a meetup soon. =(

Tired

Basically I just feel a little tired today. A little less motivated to work today. =p
But eitherways, Im leaving home soon, be back in the evening.

That's all folks. Im BEAT.

Random

Been reading her blog for quite some time now. Each time I read it, my heart aches, everyone's supporting you girl please don't give up. It seriously tears me apart whenever I read her entries, she is so brave to pull it through till now, if it were to ever happen to me, seriously I wont be able to continue. Hang on girl, the rainbow will reappear soon, dont despair, we're all here for you.

------------------------------------------------------------------




Went for a haircut at Gatomore today. Hahas, cute name and a cute hairdresser.HAhas. =x
Im like so excited, will be doing my nails tomrrow. Needed a little pampering for myself lately. I need to stand up for myself, these words kept repeating itself in my mind. Enough of people worrying for me. I need to be firm, no more Ms Nice.

Had my long gossip session with Nic today, awesome. My bottled up thoughts all unleashed. hahas. Man it feels good.
Another off day tomorrow, then followed by a Kuching flight.

This week is coming to an end, as in the weekends are approaching. =) and the weekend getaway. It feels good to be alone for a while some time.
These are just some random thoughts, nothing much.

Suicide is not chosen;
it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.

quoted from her.

Golden Bride

Been sick for 2 days now, with fever that's running at 38.3 degree celcius.Stucked at home so might as well watch something to let time pass faster.

Im currently stuck at Episode 35 waiting for it to load finish. It's so infuriating, it's so realistic. I know attractive people always attracts loads of attention.

Apparently this show is about a 21yr old Vietnamese girl who married a Korean man just by looking at his picture as she wanted to go over to Korea to find her father. Eventually she fell in love with her husband, who is handsome but down with a illness that's haunting him for 3 years. "Obsessive disorder". She- Vietnamese girl "Jin Joo" helped her husband " Kang Jun Woo" to overcome this sickness, and he was able to pull himself out of the nightmare.

Now the episode that I'm watching is all about "JEALOUSY". THe killer of all relationships. As Jun Woo is working in a company called " C&P " which his junior "Chan In Kung" is working in. They are sort of like team members at work, she did so much things that seriously made my blood boil. LOL.

ARGH! Im lazy to type out the things she did. But I can so relate to it. It's because of such woman that at times makes the victims lost confidence in themselves, thus doubting in their relationship and all. And the men, always clueless of what's happening. We woman, when faced with such problem, usually would be sensitive, we pick up signs fast but guys always push our signs aside and said we're overreacting.
Now I know. It really reminds me of alot of stuff. SO much. Too much.

Anyway, it's just a show. Im not saying Im facing anything now, it's just something I felt like sharing, hahas. Oh well, this kind of vicious woman, woman with BIG ambitions, to me I think that this woman "Chan In Kung" is nothing. So what if she's a uni grad. She is doing such ... how do I describe such person?! hmm, DESPICABLE!, pain in the ass! hahas, she is playing mind games with Jin Joo, hurting Jin Joo,UGH!

Okay the loading should be done now, back to the show =p

UGH. There goes Taiwan.

No doubt I dont get to alight and walk around, but at least Im going there. Now my anticipation for it is DASHED. They returned me my off day on my freaking Kao Shiong flight!!!! BOO!! =(( now I'll have to keep waiting once again. KHH flight is like so rare to me man. =( The only flight Im looking forward to! and now it's dashed. WTH! =(

APPLE STRUDEL!! Ease my anger!! HUMPH!

Ching!

There goes my $$. I've spent it on
-Biotherm Men's facial wash
-Biotherm traveler's set for combination skin. ( Wanna change brand =p )
-ZA's concealer
-Johnson Bb powder
-Lipbalm
-Cotton Wool from Watson
-Dove Bodywash

G!! no more shopping with you! lol. I thought it was just to get my toiletries and I'll be done, but I guess I overspent. =(

Was late for dinner =x met Sher at Tamp for some Sushi dinner =) Had sushi craving for the whole of today, and it felt great to satify my cravings. It was a major discussion today, which I enjoyed alot. Never ending discussions on what the future has to bring and what do you expect of it. We're expecting almost the same criteria's, just that Sher's are definately of higher standards.

Thoughts,lingers in my head.

Lately

There's been a lot of floating thoughts in my mind, will the plan we had work? Am I working it the right way, did I miscalculate anything. I'm like stuck at the junction once again, to turn left or to turn right? or worst still, U-turn?

My ring broke yesterday, so i got to head down Perlini Silver later, hopefully it could be repaired. It's so fragile. I know how I want my future to be like, but I don't see the improvement, or any effort that I've put in. WHy am I still that insensible, not understanding?..That's me is it?, why do I need so much attention hmm?. Am I stuck now? how to clear the obstacle?. Self-talks lately.

My memory is failing me drastically. Like it's so extreme. I can't even remember the conversation I had with Daryl over the phone, or what my mum just told me a few minutes ago. It's not registering into my head. " Bird Brain".

I was feeling unwell last night, I guess it's the apple juice. I vomitted out all the apple juice and my tummy still feels weird now. The outcome of being greedy, I drank the whole carton yesterday hahas. Was watching "Golden Bride" for the whole of yesterday after my flight. HA!
Kind of addictive when I start watching drama series, I just cant wait for the cable to show the next episode at night, I just chose to find it on crunchyroll. =p

There's one more carton of apple juice in the fridge, should I try it again? hmm. =p

Alright I got to go prepare, it's a long evening later =)
Byeee.

MAX

Totally exhausted to the MAX. Just came back from Cochi not long ago. Freaking tired I must say. I didn't sleep at all throughout the flight, but it was a good flight. The crew were very funny =)

Update later, resting now. Drop it like it's hot!
Madness overwhelms me when Im freaking @!$%#@ TIRED.

Adios suckers.
LOL.
Nites.

Oh ya..I'll end with a joke of the day..

" if an egg takes 5 mins to boil, how long will 5 eggs takes to boil? "
Please tag your answer ya.. =))

Monday

It's Monday once again.
Weekends was madness. After the flight from Friday 15 Aug.

Friday was supper at 126's Dim sum and DURIAN!! omg. Believe it or not, did I mention in my previous entry?, yeap I had DURIAN's! lol. Mum and sis liked the durians alot. Freaking cost $46.80 for 3Kg. Hmm.





















16Aug.
After the flight from Yangon. Met up with Dar for dinner at NYDC and movie at PS. =)



































17Aug.
Woke up late, wasn't able to go for our breakfast. Headed down to Siglap for some Javanese Massage and lunch at Cartel. =)

After which it was driving lesson down at Ubi. =)) It was extremely fun! can't wait for the next lesson. I've stalled my car once, but it was funny. =) The instructor was so noisy! he made so much noise during driving, trying to distract me aye..HAHAS. Back to Dar's place after driving, had dinner and it's his book in time. =(

18Aug. Today.
I'll be on flight to India again. Back tomorrow morning, 0615 hrs. BOO!!

Got to prepare now..
Byee~

Xray/MRI

Went to RMG yesterday to find out what's happening to my knees but to no avail. All they did was referred me to do an xray which shows no problem, and thereafter they insisted on A&E. Doing an MRI scan that freaking cost a BOMB. I guess I'll just continue taking the medication first and see how it'll go. The MRI is not worth it, 900 plus ain't no joke. Where the hell to fork out that amount man. =(

Thanks Nic for companying me to the Doctor yesterday.

Had 126 for dinner, and believe it or not I had DURIAN after. LOL.
I only had 2 and that's it. Hahas, too creamy. I couldn't take it. It tasted horrible, slightly bitter. Not sweet.
We're feeling very tired, thus the temper was kinda bad.

It's another working day for me, please don't let me be S2, I can't bear the pain.
GMT +6 1/2 =( what am I gonna do. Lucky Sheila's working with me today. =))

I'm feeling down. Can someone cheer me up/ crack some joke?

What I want?
What do I see?

I wont back down.

I will never this time around. So what if your name appears again. I want to face you. And see what's up your sleeve this time around. Might be cus I'm lack of sleep that Im cranky right now, but I won't be afraid to face you straight in your face.

We shall see who has the final laugh. I wont back down. Not with you.
You made me feel like shit. Like what they say. Make friends not enemies.

I WONT BACK DOWN.

Edited.
Shit Im having dizzy spells. Leaving for work in 15mins time.
I feel weird like im blacking out soon.

Roster Check

I'm gonna make sure I check my roster before I do a flight from now on. Now I know what it means by after doing an evening flight, you can't operate a morning flight unless you have alot of energy. I touchdown at bout 2035hr yesterday, and I'm suppose to operate Manado which departs at 0925 hrs today. I only slept at 12 yesterday, cus I washed my hair, and I was watching tv. =p
Now I know why Dad drinks red wine before he sleeps, it's so COMFORTABLE!, like you won't have to toss and turn till eventually you fall asleep. Red wine's like an instant sleeping pill, you feel warm and cosy, so all you wanna do is just fall in. LOL.

I feel so exhausted now. Today's my 3rd day of work, I MUST PERSERVERE!!!!!.
I'll operate another 10 hrs, that including me returning home and bathed and everything. I will knock out till maybe bout 2200 hrs?, and wait for my 2230 hrs show, and then it would be THURSDAY!!!!!! GOSSIP DAY!! lol. Can't wait. Nic's meeting me for Cartel's Breakfast. YOu bettter not fly kite alright! HUMPH! hahas.
Okay I feel so much better now, prepare for work! =)

Lucky day

Sher's says Im super lucky today, and I believe it too! hahas. Cus SB's on MC today!! WAHAH! And I was so prepared for the flight, like what I'll expect from it, then it came out fine. =) The crews were VERY NICE =) all was good. There happened to be a birthday crew on board today, and I wasn't aware of it till she told me herself. Anyways, Happy birthday to you girl =) At least today's flight was a good one. =)

Waiting for the call, and the 10.30pm show!! woots! tomorrow's my 3rd day of work followed by an off day. Can't wait can't wait!
It'll be gossip day on Thursday!! =))

TOmorrow would be Manado back bout 1710 hrs. I'll be back with more updates.
Cheers ;)

Red wine, my love. =)

Choices, Changes, Expectations.

People make choices everyday, but not every choice we make are the right ones. Changes nontheless, comes along. As you grow, your mentality changes, follow suit your expectations. Adaptibility comes into place, it's either you adapt to the changes or it'll take you a long time to digress it. All these takes time, it's whether long or short?.

Habit- is a killer to me. I've got loads of bad habits that are difficult to change, but it's possible, I'll just take a longer time. A change for the better I would say.

Attitude- mine has been quite bad lately. Very negative. But it doesn't last long, it happens mostly when I'm preparing for work, I'll release tension like what Dar said. I'll just curse and swear, hahas. This is me, I aint no dainty girl caring bout what's glam or unglam, I'm at HOME, so I'll just be myself, and do what's BEST for me. Scream and shout. hahas. At least I feel better at work =) . It's not that I've got bad crew or what, it's just those you know, days when you just feel like running away from everything?, yea. I'm a bummer, a bummer that prefers working for 3 days and have one month's rest. LOL!. I'll definately be working for nothing if that happens. Hahas.

Forgetful- I've a tendency to be forgetful. So I tend to jot down stuffs be it on a tissue, or anything I can find, as in at work. Just so that I dont screw up my side orders or anything. Maybe it has it pros and cons. The positive one would definately be that I wont be angry with that particular person for long. No matter how angry I could be. After a while I'll forget why I was angry. LOL. Blessing in disguise?, hahas. Here comes the negative, some stuff people taught me, I tend to FORGET too!!, oh my.. hahas. Any idea how to improve on my memory?.. it's not absorbing much.



Expectations- I expect alot from myself, but at the same time disappoints myself alot. So I start off with small expectations like cleaning of my dressing table, vacuum the floor once a while, go for jogs, etc. Small expectations, and slowly move up from there, at least it's at a comfort level for me to improve, because I'm a procrastinator too, so if it's small stuff, I'll be able to push myself to complete it.



Changes- I believe that from years of trying to understand myself, I do see a change in me. I'm somewhat stronger, fatter HAHAS!, more conscious of what I say to people, but to people that know me, I wont bother to think before I speak =p My patience level has slightly increased?, my sleeping hours decreased, hahas. My expenditure increase, so does my commitments. Come what may, it's part and parcel of life. Learn to overcome it, not skip it.



So the morale of the story is..
I'll not take MC today! hahas. It's a secret =))




Just for laugh, me when I was in Sec 3. LOL.

Bad things comes in 3

Watched "Love Guru" after my Friday's flight with Daryl. The show was so-so not as hilarious as I thought it would be. Had Shokudo Pasta before the movie, it was delicious! I had the prawn and eel pasta, while Dar had the cabonara bacon. Mine was better off than his. Hahas, had Macha ice cream!! =)) hmm, what else, hmm, had the mashed potato pizza which wasn't that appealing. Should had tried the prawn,scallop and squid pizza instead..the clam chowder tasted like MISO SOUP hahas. And it was arcade thereafter. The basketball game, we scored 225 ptns thus wasn't able to hit stage 3. We were so close!! 25 ptns away only! Argh! hahas.

3 consecutive days, 3 bad flights. 3 spillage. =(

Dar went back to camp on Saturday. =( So I'm left alone for Sunday. But it was a very tiring day for me. Had facial early in the morning, wasn't able to meet fang and the rest for the BW. hahas. And thereafter facial, I headed back home to rest till evening. Off day wasted!.. Facial yesterday was weird, Auntie Anna had this tool that sounds like those "mosquito killers", hmm you know? those look like a racket which is actually meant to kill the mosquito. Well, aunt Anna had this that looks like a highlighter, but produces that noise!, that going onto my pimples!!! The feeling was so .. I can't explain that feeling. But I felt the little jolt of electricity when she dots it onto my pimples. Hahas. It was said to prevent the pimples from coming out that easily..hmmmm.

Driving lesson was cancelled yesterday, like what Sherry mentioned; Human Error. =(

The instructor thought it was 6pm when his initial message that he sent me was 7pm. =( BOO! and I was so looking forward to it.

Met up with liying a few days back with Sher, and we headed for Swensen at Bugis. Ahahs, and thereafter Keppel Bay is it?, where you get to see nice yatch and stuff. Very cosy area, better than cosy bay. =)

And now, I've got to prepare for flight again. To PHUKET once again. Tomorrow would be Kota Kinabalu. I'll be flying with SB tomorrow! wow, scary shit.

[ Friday night out ]
[ Sher, Myself and Ying ]

=)

I'm so glad you're here once again. =) But it's gonna be a short one. Back there on Sat. =( BOO!

Phuket. I'm loving it. Back to back. 3 days roster. How great. My weekends are ruined. They use to give me so good rosters. Man, what happened. I'm looking forward to Nov/Dec, hopefully something more delightful will happen to me. Maybe for now I still dont fall under the catergory of " Shower Joanne with all your love, bring her joy and chase away her tears. " LOL. What bulls. I'm stilll a troublemaker at work, lol. Still so clumsy, but enough is enough, enough of me with my stupid lack of confidence. Be it right or wrong, I'm gonna voice out. Enough is enough.

TGIF.

I'm a happy girl this weekend. =)

Preparing for work.

Just finish preparing and I'm good to go. But I'm just too stubborn to be early for work. I feel so lonely suddenly. Must be my PMS once again. My temper has been very bad lately. Everyone got it from me. Hahas, I felt bad about it. And what Nic said made me think a lil harder.
"Reflect on yourself first, think through if this person deserves being scolded/hurt by you." So now I'm trying to control my temper, and try to talk nicely to my family members. '

It's been so long and I'm lost without you..
What am I gonna do..

Off to work.
Ciaoz.

Looking forward to tomorrow..It's an OFF DAY! =)

Nightmare-Genting

I believe my nightmare happened at Genting. I guess it's a holiday/tour thingy. Cus I dont see familiar faces with me on this trip. I witnessed the faulty tracks of the mini roller coaster, hearing a weird screeching sound and when the cart was doing the upside down turn, the whole cart which consists bout 6 people dropped down instantly like those you see in cartoon. It happened straight infront of me. And the next one happened on the viking. I guess it's either the viking went out of control or something that people started jumping out of the viking. 2 mens survived, they manage to swim away. Oh ya the viking was somewhat in the water. And a few others followed. It was fucking freaky. I hate this nightmare.

Crap.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 more days and counting. I'm going bersek.

Miss you like crazy.

3 more days to be exact. Im waiting patiently.
It would be disastarous if they call me later. Cus I'm still awake. Standby for the whole of 4 Aug.
Please don't hit the jackpot. NOOO =(

Time waits for no one

Last night, the ladies met up and headed down to Central Mall for Fang's Bday dinner. I forgot the name of the restaurant! lol. Azibo Shabo is it?, hahas. Anyways it's at level #1. The food was okay. The serving was just nice. I didn't know bout the bento set, but mine was adequate. Been spending my days/nights out all day. As long as I've got time to spare, I'll just head out. Till I feel so tired. Exhausted. Even cactus said I looked "qiao cui" = shagged. LOL. Oh no..not a very good sign. I need sleep already. Woke up late as per usual today. Damnit, I still couldn't find the gloves that I've lost. Crap. Is it that difficult to search for one?..hmm. Anyone have any idea where to get one?..It looks like this just that I want it to be in yellow colour.







I'll upload more pics when I've got the time, as for now, I'll lie down a while more. LOL.

Patiently waiting, 4 more days to go..

Tired.

I am contemplating. Tired. ROAR!!

A complete 24 hr

Time is never enough, so make full use of it. That's what Im doing when I get off days. Even just slacking at Starbucks makes me a happy girl. Raj told me to do something out of the ordinary everyday. So today I tried using my sisters toothbrush to brush my teeth. HAHAS. So random, cus mine gave way, and it's high time I changed mine, so yea.

Has anyone used a toothbrush for like >3 yrs? Holy crap.

I'm just trying to make myself feel happy by blogging. Which apparently it's not really working. Cus it doesn't chase away the fact that I'll be working later. Hahas, like wth.
Yea, Im full of contradictions. Like when I said I dont wish to gamble anymore. C'mon who actually believes me?..hmm? hahas.

Ugh it's 11.19am already, should be calling cab anytime soon. I don't like feeling so useless at work, I wanna blend in! This fear should stop, I should be enjoying. HUMPH.
I'll not be stepped upon by you, you, you, that one, you, and YOU. HMM! LOL there's actually more "YOU's" but Im too lazy already. hahas, okay okay, self talk is good in a way, I feel a lil happier now =) Hahas, what is this. LOL.

Talking to myself, easily satisfied.

HUNGRY! ROAR!!

Starbucks

Enjoying my potato salad now as I'm typing away at East Coast's Starbucks. LOL.
Eeew, the garlic is stinking my mouth. It feels good just chilling out. Another working day tmr..Hais. It's a dread lately, with those unpleasant events happening, but nonetheless, this is life. As the saying goes, " No one dies a Virgin, cus Life fucks you up." LOL. How true is that.
Was so looking forward to taking part in the 31 Aug event. But now my hopes are dashed. Cause I've got an evening flight that day. Argh. Oh wells. Half a day gone just like that, thinking of tomrrow. Hais. Oh mannnnnnnnnnn..

Dread.Dreadful.Dreaded.

Help!!!

My coco baby is shivering when she walks. She cant even stable herself.
Sending her to the vet now.

BOO!! =(

Where's my next stop..

My throat is seriously killing me. I woke up this afternoon with the throat feeling so dry and uncomfortable. =( Flt retimed. Reporting at 2015 hrs today. Damnit. Back only bout 0700 hrs. ARGH. Must be the weather. Hais.

Many thoughts running through my head as the date gets nearer. What have I accomplished?..
Do I wanna continue with my studies while Im working?, or is this it?. Do I stop here?, or should I get at least a private Dip. At least something for me to fall on. I've only got an ITE cert for accounting, do I wish to continue with accounting life?, or should I try NIE?, can I take up NIE for part time studies?, my second dream is to be a child care teacher. HAhas, yes laugh at me, I know my tolerance level only reaches a certain limit, but apparently, I've used to take care of these 2 rascals for bout 3 yrs before?, no matter how naughty they can get, I still find it amusing. As in I'm watching them grow day by day. Took care of them when they were ill, watch them sleep in my arms, fed them, when they welcome you when you go over their place. It's beyond explanation. =) Now the rascals have grown up, but still as cute as ever. =)

But how do I go from here?, this is so challenging. Where should I start from?, how do I go about with my queries?..

Pot Luck

Is this how you spell it? Pot luck?..
hello =) . Im back. Tiring day. Felt so sick today, I guess Im gonna fall sick very soon. The virus is all around, everyone is falling sick. My throat is hurting and I can't equalize my ear properly on board. ROAR!.
Tomorrow =) looking forward to tomorrow. =) Another overnight flight. Nes said we bring our own food to cook, lol. Sounds interesting. Another olive oil night. *Private joke.

Let this be a smooth flight then I can rest in peace for Saturday and Sunday.

Nites..

Obsession.

I guess I'm too obsessed with this blogskin. I kept clicking back to look at it!, so irritating. LOL.
Well I snowballed my debts well, and it's skyhigh man. OMG. I wanna return it SOON.

Been planning on jogging on a few occasions, but still didn't manage to go for a decent jog, and Im happily eating and EATING!. The weighing scale is moving higher and higher. Ms ROUND is back. =( BOO!! Now I cant wear nice tops again. Back to basics. Back to my stupid tee's =(

My mouth just cant stop munching, I finished the Marks and Spencer biscuit within 1 DAY!, even though I wasn't feeling hungry at all. Such a bummer life!, I don't want this to happen!! I wanna be able to get nice clothes!. Damnit. Any other stuff besides food that can replace my cravings!, it's seriuosly driving me nuts. Mind over body man.

My throat is hurting and I'm still feeling so sleepy.


Back to basics.

Thank God I Found You..
98 Degrees and Mariah..OMG.
Enjoy. =)

Love it =)

I love this new template. I love it like that. =)
Simple.

Post Monday Blues.

Nothing beats a standby. When you don't know if you should just try your luck and head out.

Nonetheless, the weekends was well spent. =))
Had Sun and Moon for dinner on Sat =)) followed by a lil shopping, walking around town. Caught in the rain, more walking, I think I saw Joanne Peh, very tall, taller than what I've always imagined. Ha~ last but not least it was "The Dark Knight", freaking AWESOME movie I would say! seriously!!. It was DAMN GOOD. I was damn uptight throughout the movie. If you know me well enough, Im scared of the Clown, and apparently the Joker's face resembles one. And it wasn't a very good sight seriuosly. And his famous line " Why...soooooo SERIOUS? " Oh man, whenever that line comes up, I just felt like leaving the cinema, Im not sure why, but I guess it's due to his hideous look, pardon me, Clowns are a big NONO. I can stand gore movies and all, but when it comes to CLOWNs. I chicken out. The joker loves to use his blade to slit people's faces whenever they were nervous or something. With that quote line. It was PERFECTLY FREAKED OUT Joanne sliding into her seat. But I LOVE THE STORYLINE. Everything man. I don't wanna spoil the show by spilling the beans. But yea, "THE DARK KNIGHT" is a MUST WATCH MOVIE OF THE YEAR man..
And now Daryl loves to use that quote, which simply sends chill down my spine, cus everytime he uses that quote, I'll have the flashback of the Joker's face.. EEww..

And for today, I manage to pull myself out of bed. And notice the fact that I only got home like 4 plus am. I rolled down at 1030am, prepared and met the ladies for breakfast at Cartel. =)) It was nice, full attendance for today. ALL. Everyone. =)) As per usual, we joked, we crapped, we gossiped. We did what we do best..hahas. MAhjong sessions, facials..and more plannings.. WOOTS. Oh oh! and also baking session with Sher..ahahas. Hmmm, cookiessss..cakes... =))

Too bad I didn't bring along my camera during the weekends so no pictures to upload. =(
Oh well, I guess this is an extremely long entry?, consider the fact that I went on bout my stupid childhood phobia that still haunts me till now?..

Mind games, hmm interesting. DARK KNIGHT ROCKS MAN!! I know I've said it umpteens times, but IT SERIOUSLY ROCKS MAN!!!!. LOVE IT! =)
Alright time for me to head to sleep, need it badly.

TLC,
Jo.

A PAT ON MY SHOULDER.

Smiling from ear to ear, I had a peaceful sleep.

And now, Im ready for tonight's INDIE's flight. OVERNIGHT.
I'm loving it!!'

Surprise =)
This is SO RANDOM. But it felt GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD =D

Minimum crew. WHY?!!
My latest favourite drink : Carrot Juice. Ooo lala.

Should I bring along something to entertain me tonight?.. Feel like bring along my Mp3 it has FM function, wanna check out different radio stations.

Coconut Oil tonight. OMG. I LOVE IT SO MUCH MAN.....

Dhoom Machaleh!!

Waruku.BakerzInn

[ The J2's Unagi Don ]
[ My Kaikiage Don ]
[ Bacon and Asparagus ]
[ Sher's Ai Mori ]

16 July 08.

Met up with sher and the rest for some sumptious dinner. It was yummisinfulicious.

And I regretted ordering the fried tofu. Apparently I prefer the one at Sakae. =)) Now I know.

Ohoo and the Banana cinnamon pizza at BakerzInn is GODLY. But I chose to take very lil of it, due to WEIGHT conscious. =p

17 July 08.

Nervous.Nervous.Nervous.

It takes one to know one.

Your're not the only one playing this game.

Dinner.Slack.Starbucks

It's like a norm now, to have dinner then continue with our gossiping session at starbucks. hahas.
Was intending to meet up with Nic for dinner and thereafter to the gym, to stop myself from procrastinating, I brought along my shoes, towels etc. But we still ended up at Starbucks after dinner at Cartel. LOL!.
We gossiped so much till we only decided to leave only like 11plus pm. Reason being, I had no choice, cus I'm having flight today.
4 sector! I'm ready for it! bring it on =))

Went for a jog this morning, phew my timing sucked man. 17.45min for a mere 2.4km UGH!

Therer was this old man, he was very funny, motivates/distracts me from my jog, he was doing the "laughing theraphy" he went "hohoho,hahaha..." for like 10 mins while I was doing my jog. Very interesting, he wasn't bothered but how others was looking at him..
I like jogging at the stadium, I see many interesting people.. =))

Alright, I'm ready for the day =))

I miss Simpang Bedok's Seafood Agolio!.. Yummylicious =p

Sleeping through

I was practically sleeping through the whole day. Manage to wake up at 11 plus to talk to Nic on the phone for a while before retreating back to dreamland at 2pm. Woke up like half and hour ago, it was too late for gym. ARGH. Maybe tonight..hmm. I need the jog, seriously.

Why does day seems to pass faster during my off days. It'll be another day tomorrow. 4 sector. My first time trying it. Wonder how it's like. What worries me the most would be the load. I wanna jog!! ARGH!! Oh wells, time to bathe. Meeting Nic for dinner.

WHINE IT UP!!..
love,
Jo

When I went " THAT's HOT! "

Here goes my rantings once again, when I'm stuck at hm, with literally nothing to do!. I'll surf the web and more or less be some other suckers that would be stuck on some people's blog and enjoying what Im reading.

They've visited many countries and tried many delicacies. And most of all, they've got the package- the looks, the hot bod, and their confidence. Apparently Im those sucker that would just stare at the com and complain and whine bout myself, as in why Im not anything like them. But in a way, at least I get to lead a normal life, being beautiful, having a hot bod and loads of attention is only a plus factor, as long as you love what you're doing and you love your life? why not?..

Dar said looks are part of what you expects from your other half. Okay, in a way I agree with that. He commenting on me gaining weight is one that triggers my boiling point. LOL. Seriously, he loves to comment it only after I've had my meals, tidbits. Crap. Ha!

Just some randomness.


[ Ain't she hot?.. ]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back once again, went to pack my dressing table and found some random stuff.


[ Before..]
[ My "fav"...wadeva. ]
[ After =) ]


[My old sch specs..]
[ My fugly nails..]

Nurse

Today I'll be an in-house nurse and at the same time on standby. Is there such term? hahas, oh well.
Apparently ytd's flight made me knock out. I knocked out immediately after my bath. All the way till this morning bout 9 plus when Dar called. He's booking out today, having high fever. As he wont be able to attend the other upcoming trainings, and staying in wont help much he might as well come back. Running at 38.4 degree celcius. Poor boy.

And now missy Tan has to sponge him, check his temperature, and monitor his condition. He's very exhausted and smelly..HAHAHA. =p Snoring away while I'm typing.

Seriously I dislike people falling ill, especially when it comes to fever and all. They'll tend to be very lethargic, no strength, so I worry the most. Like no attention given to them. I was ill before, and it seriously felt like crap, no one was there for me, no one to sponge me, no one to get me drinks. I know how sucky that can be, so I prefer to be there.

My best pal went in on the 8th of July like 2 days ago, called me up and told me he was bored to death, LOL. They were only told to sit down for HOURS. My god, lucky ones. Cause he was in PES C that's why. For 2 consecutive days, they were told to sit down. LOL. Poor thing too aye. They cannot take physical trainings no nothing, afraid that they might injured themselves further and blah. So PA aint that bad aye?. As compared to Dar who has to do so many nonsense, so lil rest. That's Army.

"BMT" period for us ladies still ongoing. We worked, met with good and bad, high and low. Ups and downs, we're progressing I hope, hopefully I'll see them on my flights, I miss working with my batchgirls, at least we own the galley and we don't face the pressure, well we need some time-out dont we. We've been in this uptight tension for quite a while now. So yea, I wanna unwind for a while, chill a lil. Met up with Fang the other day, headed out for dinner at the new Aston located at Bedok the serving looked small but filling though, followed by Swensen's at TM. =)))))))
Awfully sinful. But it was fun, had my fair share of laughter, maybe cus I was too exhausted, I tend to go cranky when Im way tired. =))

Alright got to check on the fella..
Ciaoz

much love,
jo.

Tired

Day after day, time passes by so fast.
It's already July, 7 days gone. Mid-July is coming =)) Waiting..

An off day spent like that.
In a way I felt bad, I feel so guilty. Words came out without going through my brain. That's how I hurt people.
And it's even worse when I can't explain myself, or allowing the other to understand what I'm saying.

Things hasn't improved more stories heard. I'm so freaking pist. WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN?


Good nights.

First time

First time I experienced bad weather. Till it has to be diverted to Sub. It was very bad, visibility was way low. Time extended and I wasn't able to return to Sin as per estimated arrival. It was a good experience, when you learn to treasure life and people around you.

Met up with Nic for dinner after I came back. We had a good meal =p
Bought loads of shampoo and conditioner to stock up hahas. So now I know where to get extremely discounted shampoos =)) total damage was $34.20

-2 Loreal Orange Shampoo
-2 Loreal Conditioner

Its like 2 for the price of 1!! =)) I didn't wanna get too much though, I guess 2 to stock up is good enough cus I've just bought a pink L'Oreal at Giant like on Tuesday only.

Places I yearn to dine at once again.
-Shushi Tei
-Waraku
-Shikodu
-Wheellock place that Jap restaurant which I didn't manage to get hold of the name..
many many more.

July is a crazy month!, so many people's birthday!!!!!!!!!!
HUGE BOMB!

I wanna get Guess's perfume, so nice! I wonder why Nic hates it.
I wanna get nicer dresses!
My bank dropping once again.

Oh when oh when,
Dear pay, please come in real soon..


Love,
Jojo

godly hour

First time in my whole freaking life, I need to wake up so early to prepare for work, 0300 hrs. I wonder if I still have the energy later after work to run my errands and stuff. Today would be to BPN once again, this time round it's minimum crew. My gosh. Please don't let this be another heavy load, I believe it's on a 319. Alright, be back for more later after flight as for now, I needa prepare already.

Oh yea, anyone wanna company me to do gel for the nails?. My nails are freaking horrible now, chips like hell, and Im sick of painting, removing and painting already. My nails are too weak.
Enough of my nonsense.

Ciaoz.
0317 hrs.

How long more?

How long more do I have to live through this agony. Yes, I call it agony. It pisses me off that I'm such a slow learner. I'm keen honestly. I want to do my job well, but why do I always fail myself?. I've been showing this cramped up face for quite a while now, and it doesn't reflect good on me though. 3 sector. I need to survive this. I believe I'm able to choose my role for today, and I must choose wisely. I'm not going to avoid it this time round, cus eventually one fine day, I'll face it again. So why not take the chance now and GO FOR IT. I'm prepared to receive negative vibes. I'm all ready. Today I don't wanna be blur anymore. I wanna prove to them that I can make it. I will not back out. I will FACE IT!. I know Im a slow learner, but Im WILLING TO LEARN!. YES, try and try. I'm not gonna give up. Im not gonna go to the clinic for the dumb MC, Im gonna face it today. Yes, positive vibes please be with me today, keep me cheerful throughout. Let me have the confidence, let me count my meals properly. Let me have the WILLPOWER! Teamwork, communications, take the humble pie. Use the magic words!. Yes, shall continue tonight after I'm back. LEARN, LEARN, LEARN. CANNOT BE SHY OR WHATSOEVER. MOVE!, PROGRESS~!

Now I feel the vibes man, give it to me!.
I'm not going to disappoint myself !!, I wanna change!!

Solo

This is awfully scary. I'm still unfamiliar with my stuffs. Please let things turn out smoothly today. Think fast act fast.
1350 Balikpapan. UGH. Breathe in breathe out. 3 or 10 deep breaths man. OMG. Nervous, nervous..NERVOUS!!
I've met nice people all along, they taught me alot, it's just me. Whether I know how to apply what I learn or not. This is so challenging. I'm prepared to get an earful.

Challenge Everything.

LOVE ME PLEASE.omg.

to be continued tonight...

handle me with care. ARGH.

jo.

1 more day!

One more day to my off day. Can't wait can't wait!!. Yesterday was bad, turbulence was bad, storm. Hmm, anyway looking forward to tomorrow ;) OFF DAY! ROAR!!!!!!!
People were nice, in a way. Learnt,learn,learning. Everyday there will be something new for me to learn. Hear me do my announcements man. It's like wth?. LOL. I read passage that wasn't suppose to be read, anyway I doubt they know/hear what I was saying, they were too busy taking out their belongings and all.

Counting down 4 more days. Woots` :)

Hmm, which is the website to use for my blog man. There's like so many, wordpress, LJ, Multiply,etc. Apparently I seem to have all! lol. Just that I update more in Blogger.Random stuff of mine.
Off and away once again.

Ciaoz

Eve of Grad

Tomorrow's our graduation, our big day. I'm running out of time. All of us will go on our seperate ways, doing solo from Saturday onwards. So many thoughts ran through my mind, INDEPENDENCE, RESPONSIBILITY. It's time, that I carried out these duties on my own. No more escaping, no more faking MC's. This aint odd jobs which I could just choose to leave. We signed the bond, it's as though we've sold our souls to the devil.

" We are the best, and we'll STRIVE to stay the best..."

Nights.

If you just realise..

Happen to see this on someone's blog, and I remembered receiving this email before, and now as I read it again, it seriously made me teared too...


"On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.
I was a strong and a happy groom.This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid,I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn t help doing so, I moved Dew's hand aside and said, You go to select some furniture,O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly,she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew’s body. This was the means of my entertainment.One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.Once again, Dew said to me, Honey, divorce her, O.K.? Then we will be able to live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got somethingto tell you, I said.She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? . I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn t want anything from me,but I was supposed to give her one months time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn t want him to see our marriage was broken.She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.I didn t tell Dew about this.I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not becauseI was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said.To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy.I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

Sinful

Im back! hahas, been eating alot lately, so much so that I feel the dark side coming back to me. UGH.

Instead of 27th, now I've got to wait till the 28th. =( Waiting and waiting. Patience.
So now we're down with 2 fellas. Both in the same company different platoon. HA! how cool is that.
Now I feel so free, I dont know what to do at times too. I'll just stare blankly literally.
Went out with Sher and gang last night to some Sushi place at Wheellock, the food was awesome, but I just dont seem to have appetite. But I woke up this morning, staring at a bloated face in the mirror. OH NO!! Need more joggings!!. ZZZZzz

Pics updated later..
Ciaoz!
;)

Politics.

Donald T is awesome. So if you think you're right, answer the question straight to the point. Who would you rather choose to have on your team?, wow, that struck Moona. He is awesome, he just needs your direct answer no long story no nothing, no life experience no nothing. He just wants your answer straight. Wow, this is so cool, I cant even answer these questions myself, seriously.



Only the best ones stay, this is a scheming show man. Surprisingly Moona's fired. Woah.





[ Grumpy me these days. ]