half time

was blog hoppin around when i came over my friends blog..one of her entries she mentioned..
what is it like to choose between the one YOU WANT and the ONE that you know loves you?..
its such a big risk in a way if one were to choose for the one YOU WANT cus you wont know if that person has the same feelings for you too..(risky eh) hahas..
Oh wells..hasnt been doing any proper bloggin on my previous entry..reason being..my mind was in total blank..
Exams are nearer..access paper was over. It suck big time..oh wells its over i aint gonna whine about it..
Lets back track..
hmm..i've been swimming for 3 days back on Fri-Sun..hmm..not bad everyone says im Tanned..hahas..im ''AN-NE" hahahas =x..
went to the COMEX fair on Sunday..omg..the crowd kills me man..all the typical singaporean cant wait to grab those "GREAT" deals..omg..hahahs oh well..
My com is running real SLOW!!! must be my sis..kept playing online games..wonder what virus has she got for the com once again..omg..
there's training this Thurs and Fri there would be a friendly match against Tamp ITE..hmm..i guess i'll most likely be the reserve..the benchwarmers..hahas..
i wana watch "THE BREAK UP"..
heard its a good movie..hmm..
i wan more "TAnning" sessions..oh ya..
and maybe more clubbin sessions.. =x
i've finally seen for myself the actual "ButterFactory" omg..its real small..something lyk Coco Latte..just that Butter is more crowded..
i've gotta learn the right way to POP the tequilla man..the second time i did it myself..there wasnt even bubbles.... oh wth..

PEOPLE LETS PARTY OUT! hahas..
2 weeks time..wahaha..
Devilish Seduction- :p

rest

tired!!!!!! Exams faster OVER!!!!!

time flies-

Time flies..
we're together for almost 6 months..=))
there were definately downs and ups..
times when we didnt know what to do of the relationship..
times when i cant stop irritating you..
the first time we held hands..
the first song we dance to..
your hug..
that smile when i irritates you..
There's this unique feature of you..
That's something that kept my love for you ongoing..
-i love you <3>

Was a real LONG day today..
woke up in the morning and went to my former sch..met up with ken,bf,paul,willkie..
nothing much changed from that sch..just that almost the teachers that taught us..all gave me kinda the same comment..."You've put on weight"..basket...arghhh!!!!...
nothing much..hahas..every teacher said bf was a rocker..hahas..that's what u like people to call ya dont ya?..hahas..
After that companied dear to CDC..he had driving lesson..i tagged along to book my FTT..argh..kinda embarrassed by the way the recep. person talked to me..."Ah..you've failed FTT twice..why dont u join the school..u'll be able to pass easier...." well..I DONT WANT! bleah! hahahs..
well..it was raining cats and dogs today..aaahh..hahas..met iza at the centre while i was waiting for bf to finish his driving..she was there for her driving lesson too..
after bf finished his driving we went over to his place for a while..said he was tired needa rest a while..so i went over to watch DVD..oh well..hahas..
Since we cant go out tmr..as dear has work..yeap i said work..DEAR'S FINALLY WORKING..lol =(
oh well..not gonna grumble bout that..
thus we celebrated our 6th month today..went AirPort's Fish & Co..hmmm..had soooo much to eat..DIE! ading back the KGS!!!...
It was a sweet date today..it's been a long time since we last went out on Dates..i want MORE DATES..wahaha..nahhs..jus joking..

After meeting up with dear..my sadness just fades away...

-awfully fat with happiness-

A shoulder

Was totally fucked up today..
Currently moddless to reply anything..
First it was some issue with you and me..
next it was work..
work was disastrous..was real late for work today..the moment i reach there..i see rain and adam doing the tables in the maple room..which means..there is a function gg to take place tmr..they always do the setup last min..because..the maple room is actually meant for dining in too..
quickly prepared myself for work..my uniform looked kind of sloppy. i felt real depressed not sure why..for a moment there wasnt a customer insight..next thing i know...people were walkin in..being rude and stuff..
i was blur for the whole day..did the wrong things..not listenin to instruction given..resulting in customer unhappy..sort of quarrelled with adam..sort of..
was suppose to go to inter Macs to study..brought my stuff for studying and shit..in the end..i went home..
i need a shoulder for me to cry on..i seriously need it alot..i cried while i was on my way hm..tears kept rolling down..
i do need someone there for me..i do need u..but i made u angry..
i dunno..
why am i so unlucky today?..nothing went well for me..nothing.

let me die..

stoned-

im tired but i refuse to sleep not sure why...
BFD book is in front of me..but i lazy to study..wth is wrong with me..

Went out with Dar and Mas today..followed Mas to Art Friends..to get his art stuff and then off to Bugis to do a little shopping..hahas..Dar bought me a Tee..hmmm..i guess i needa buy smth back for him too..hmm...
After the shopping..went to meet Josh for dinner at Changi..had Hainanese Chicken Rice..hmmm..was alright?..cus i guess i was too hungry till i lost my appetite..

=)) i like the tee dear bought..
Life is mundane now..Most of my days im STONED..
too many things on my mind..
cant wait for the holidays..

for the time being..im off..and away..

oh wells..

Oh wells..wasnt doing anything meaningful just now..just slacking away..
after i got back from work..Saw ah mah and Kookoo came over our place..they're still over at our place..i guess we're having deinner together..missed my Ah Mah =)) hehe..

Waiting for him to wake up..hahas..that pig..luckily i didnt wake him up after work..doubt he has enough rest..he's starting work soon..oh well..
Not in the mood to talk to anyone online..signed-out early..
Ok..aint gonna continue blogging..sis is back with food..LOL..shall take a look at it..=x hahas..


gone-

Pondering-

Woke up real early for sch ytd..just to do my AFD test..it was alright i guess..just some careless mistakes..and the stupid staff welfare thing..oh well..not gonna grumble bout that..OFA was slacking period..played games..and i made my fren angry..sorry.
After sch..went arcade with von,van and aud..hhahs..we went to play pool..hahaha..welll well well..haven been touching much of pool for quite a while..had fun taking pics..aud took a few pics of me..and i found the angle real nice!! doesnt look like me! LOL..very sweet sia! =x self-praise not shy..=x shall upload the pics once i got them from aud..hehe..after we got tired of pool..we played Daytona..HAHAHAHA I AM THE CHAMPION!!! the 2nd round was scary..cus at the last lap von caught up wih me..tail-gating me sia..and i tink i drift! LOL...and won her..wahaha..=x who's the next challenger? LOL..we played DDR too..LOL..brings back primary sch feeling..hahahs..so old sch man..hahas..after the madness at the arcade..we went to have some food..hahas..had free chicken wings ..nice =) and off to the NTUC to get the ingredients for brownie..hahahs..von could not join us cus she is working..

Took a cab to my place to pick up my dog..hahas..and off to Van's place..her dog is super HYPER! AND HORNY!! lol..the moment he see my dog..he chiong for it..hahahs..omg..hahahs..it's lyk wana rape my dog sia..lol..poor keith gotta be locked up behind the fences..and coco..a naughty girl..she pooed everywhere and peed too..argh..SORRY VAN!!! the baking session was fun..Von next round join us we go van's place to cook..hahas..i wana learn sweet sour pork from Aud..den can cook for dear..hehe =x

After i got home..i went to bathe immediately..cus i reek of Coco's smell..and my white shirt has become brown..lol..after bathing..i rushed out to meet him =)) brought along the brownie..hahas..they rated it quite well..dear rated it 8/10, kenneth said wasn't sweet..., paul rated it 7/10..and josh rated it 8/10 wahahahaha..=x

missed him alot..i guess its better to lyk meet him only like thrice a week?..wahahas..i'll tend to be sweeter i guess? =x hahas..missed his hugs =)) hahas..and he offered to piggyback me..i didnt ask for it..he offer de..hahas..met him only a while..cus they heading off for fishing..i didnt tag along..no space..hahas..oh wells..=))

*out for work.-

Transferred

Back from the clinic..waited for lyk 45 mins..argh.what a long wait for Doc Tan.
Just received a call from HD manager..told me i am officially transferred to Tembling. No more grumbling of the journey to Raffels City..suddenly felt a pang of sadness striking me..wont able to see monster, kelz, ym, ah cek, serene, YY, Diana!!!!!!! omg..i'm out of RC for good..OMG..i actually miss working with you people..=(( visit me at Tembling?.. lyk what fen said at first..the saying goes for me.." wo bei da jing len gong le" not wanted anymore at RC..reason being..they've hired too many staff and im the only one living nearest to Tembling..

I wanted to voice out that i want to transfer to CS..but..but..but..but..haiis forget it..
I'm always like this..ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!
aiya..

sick once again..

wanted to be stubborn to go to school but he wasnt happy about it..and i did promise not to be stubborn anymore..so now ended up..me at home studying on my own..and i've to go school tomorrow..when quite alot aint going back.. =(
exams are nearer and it brings back the feeling when i had back when i was retakin my O's..im afraid of taking exams now..
Might be heading down to macs or something to study..or maybe my house downstairs..i just can't concentrate studying at home..wondering what's happening in school..can't attend training today =(
in total..i've missed 4 trainings..=( tt's alot to catch up =(
I'm upset. Not sure of what exactly it is..i've been missing out quite alot with the Nan Quans..didnt meet up for a long time already..
Whereas for Mantianal..well..schools been busy..and Uni has started.."Tong Ren Bu Tong Ming"
Where you people go?..or is it where have i been?..
Life's been mundane for me..lately..it's not that i want it my way..
It's just that..everything and everything seems to be getting in my way..( is this considered wanting
my way? )

I want to be extremely CHEERFUL once again..
i miss my crazy laughter..
i miss those late night outings..
i miss so many things in life..
i don't want this obedient life..
i miss BEING MYSELF..
i miss going to the Ktvs..

Saw lifen ytd..asked me out this Sat..not sure if i can meet her..Missed the Dewgongs too..
After so much of pushing down their outings..they don't call me anymore..
Maybe i might have time to meet you people for lunch or something..
I think we can work something out here..

anyway..i've dragged long enough..i've seriously gotta go see doctor..but currently..im feeling better already...

i guess i better go..
bye

all in me..

It's all cus of me, myself and i

im just a fucked up bitch.

im fucking ANGRY..so fucking angry..so fucking worried..
CAN U PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?!!!!!..

u have blood in ur phlgem..(if tt's how u spell it..) im sorry i yelled so much..because it
WORRIES ME!!!!.. =(
why is it so difficult to talk?..
I know my temper towards you aint nice at all..
not the way to treat you..But i'm seriously pissed that ur're taking this matter so lightly..at least see a doctor and see what's wrong..at least something right?..
It's your holiday now..i don't want to make you feel fucked up not being to play game and all..thus i dont make much noise when you gotta hang up and continue with your game..It just worries me if you are falling ill..
You might or might not bother bout this blog..or maybe you don't even view it at all..i miss you..i do..
I just don't want to pick a fight about it..you should have your own free time too..do what you like to do..i don't to be a irritating fuck..unhappy about this and that..causing too much nonsense for you..
Just want you to enjoy your holiday..
I really did take my med in class today..I didnt forget about it..Aint wasting the money for the medicine..

I only feel more useless..i've downgraded so much..simple things gone..
i don't want to say anything..i don't want it to be my way..
and i dont want this relationship to be one sided either..
Do you remember what you told me last night?..

Im pist.

ANXIOUS!!!!!!!

Roleplay tmr..OMG!!!!!!!

Alright, i guess this is going to be a fast one..
Met Dear for dinner today..saw Audrey..hahas..she gave me a fright...hahas..oh well =)
Wasn't out for long cus they going back to play game..whereas for me..im still sick..

i'm wondering whether to quit HD or not..not sure yet..no decision done..what should i do?..
not told dear bout this..difficult to discuss with mum..Sweetie how?!!
haiis..what should i do?..
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE WAKE ME UP?!!! IM NOT PUTTING IN EFFORT..=(

arghs..i want to pass ITE and move on to POLY..
i want to have enough savings so that i wont need to depend on anyone..
i want to pass my driving and get myself a car..[that's the near future]
i need a holiday
i want to slim down
i need a MAKEOVER
i need sleep..
i need fun
i need to learn it the hard way..

I WANA BE CHEERFUL LYK BEFORE..=(
im so RIDICULOUS..
im uttering yet once again..another NONSENSE..=(
gotta slp already..waking up at 5am later..
niites everyone..

Too all the sickly people..FALL IN!!!!

I'm finally DOWN..my cramps got me and im down with fever..37.5 hahas..minor shit..

Got all the things i need for Monday..ooo so excited =)) kinda anxious too..TIMING is soo IMPORTANT!..if i screw this shit up im dead..

My plan FAILED!!! I GOT SABOTAGE by my manager..kept tempting me with the food..i could not take it..and had a BITE..the after taste was so HEAVENLY!!!!..maybe its due to lack of NORMAL food..lol..oh wells..AGAIN I'LL TRY..FOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
hahahas...Went over to dear's place today after work..met him like 5 plus..supposedly 4.30 but he had stomache so we met up late..FINALLY i've got my cheque =)) should be able to get it by Wednesday =)
Dear and i went to Bedok NTUC to get the ingredients for dinner..fettucine, sauce for the pasta, crabstick, button mushroom..hmmm. hahas..preferred cabonara though..oh wells..must try new things mahhs =))
By the time we finish shoppin it was bout 6 plus nearing 7 already..Oh ya..saw Michael at NTUC too..with his gf..very pretty girl..yea..Dear agree too...
Before heading to dear's place we tried Shop and Save..to see if they have "Bacon Bits" but nahhs..they dont have it..so off we head back to Dear's place..
Rest a while, read the newspaper to see the daily horoscope and started cooking. Had trouble opening the sauce cap..thus dear tried using the spoon..the cap came off..i was lyk FINALLY..but to my HORROR!!!!!!! i saw a broken piece of glass and blood started flowing out from dear's fingers!!!..OMG..i swear i didnt noe wad to do man..i tol dhim to rinse his finger in the running tap while i searched his cabinet for plaster..saw a FIRST AID kit and quickly took it out..it looks brand new.not touched before..i tried taking anything out i see..wanted to use guaze..but i know that's definately wrong..his sis came back just in time..took her handkerchief and tied his fingers...so as to add pressure to it and preventing blood from flowing out..i feel so useless..simple FIRST AID and i can screw it up..=(( oh wells..luckily dear's finger stopped bleeding..continued cooking the pasta and the sauce..well i guess my estimation wasnt that good..=(( there was too little sauce and too much fettucine..but overall it was alright..=)) watched a little of liverpool vs..ermm smth starting with " S" smth Wednesday de..watched half way his grandma came home..so gotta let her watch tvbee..so we watched "Hard Gay" on his com..hahahahaha..FOOOOOOO!!!!..lol..
A really NICE gay man i must say =) hahas..he helps people. Just that his eroctic poses are some what embarass to look at..lol..but overall..funny..hahas..

Oh ya..while we were at NTUC dear bought me "Robitson" cough mixture..bloody ex!!!! it's lyk $9.45!! i can buy a "Baby Fresh" cologue for my baby coco man!!..which is only lyk $9.35
But Dear has his sweet intention..just worried bout me..Because i've been "singing" alot lately..hahas..=))

Realising that it isnt early anymore..i went home..and now dear's playing warcraft..hahas..and me..hmm bloggin =))
Alright... SAY! SAY! SAY!! hahas..
Okkkkkaaaayyyy!!!!!!

HAHAHS..NIGHTS EVERYONE =)

cramps!!!

argh..i've to retrieve the key and open the restaurant tomorrow.. :(

Wee..so happy with myself..im actually following the "plan" =)
wonder if i can still control myself tomorrow?..
Currently my left nose is giving me alot of problem..just gotta keep stuffing tissue..
Down with FLU and COUGH.. =( where's my "nurse"? lol

Not sure where's dear now..but i guess he's cycling somewhere..i dont know where is it..not gonna wait for his call alr..working at 10am tmr..aaaaahhhhhh............ :(
i'm once again too free to view blogs again..arghz..oh well..need rest alr..

Not sure of how to go on anymore..
I just have too many things in my mind till it's lyk over-flowing with too many thoughts..
don't wana know..
Hope it's not for the worse..

Oh ya..thanks D.K too for sort of cheering me up..lol..

JH told me im no longer that cheerful anymore..lyk my laughter not from the heart..
hahas..oh well..[economy bad] hahas..
only sh knows what im saying..this period will be over soon..
sleep sleep sleep!!!!!!

i guess tmr wont be much of gg anywhere..bf needs rest too..don't want him to company me go walk walk if he's too tired..[i'll understand]

good nights-

aiyaaaaaaaaa

im so tired now..not sure whether to rest or not..finally my DARKEST DAYS are here..better dont pist me off..i'm very very nasty..

Stayed in school till bout 4 plus today?..everyone tense up bout the roleplay for monday...meeting 7am!!!!!! i better have enough sleep on Sunday night..
My throat is getting from bad to worse..am afraid that i'll lose my voice before Monday..argh!..
nothing much happened in school today..well everyone seems to have their " Bad Day" so did sweetie..but i guess she's fine alr..hahas..

Missed him alot today..looking at pictures makes it even worse..so i chose not to look at ur pictures..hahas..=x oh well..did u miss me?..haiis..oh well..
I'm too tired to type anything..i go slack a while..byeeeeee

People..do tag or smth so that i know u've viewed my blog.
-wonder if you still bothered about this blog of mine....

faint-
ssssssssscccccccccccccrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Im happily coughing my lungs out..the coughing sound is getting more dangerous.hahas..
Was another long day in school..Was late for my com. lesson and i guess i've missed out quite a bit..
AFD is currently covering "Bank Reconciliation".. Whereas for BFD......hmmm.....i fell asleep..hahah
Had roleplay rehearsal after school lasted till bout 5 plus?..Finally my awaited number appeared on my phone..a missed call from him =)
He sounded kinda sian though...made me think of so many things..so many thoughts on my mind..
waited for Aud and Von, headed down to TM..went to get my stuff for the roleplay..

didnt ask me bout school today..
i saw tt person again hahas..=x

Missed his hugs =) that warm feeling =)
but still i feel weird inside..am i thinking too much?......
*thanks gal esp SZ!!! a sweetie ya =) wrote me a card and a lollipop =)
*my sweetie..hahas..companied me during the darkest hours..=) u noe who u are =x
*aud and von not forgetting u gals..who leer me from the sadness =))

MUACKS!!!!!! =)

currently dar's out with the usual..=( i want my holiday soon =(
i've fallen too deep...

PMS!!!!

Yes i'm having the bloody PMS!! i can so feel the cramps on the way..

Steer clear from me..i'm nasty..
-i'll be quiet so just let me be..
-if i tear might be due to the cramps
-if i am moodless.. don't bother to cheer me up

was a long day for me ytd, 2 consecutive days it seems to me that i didnt meet up with him.
after everything and everything, i don't know what to say?.. stuffs....
I don't want to expect anything anymore, just want everything to be back to normal..*i wish*
It's definately not easy, even that few minutes that i thought it was all over killed me fast inside.
I can't believe i said that..when i can just learn to accept?..
Why do i give up so easily?..=(

Im sorry for HURTING you time and again..
neither do i want you to suffer..
i know you don't mind it..
But if one is suffering, i rather you not suffer..
This shows how lousy i am..
That i didnt change AT ALL
BE IT THE PAST OR THE PRESENT..
i'm still the same after all..
i'll try to change but this change might not bring the old me back..

Where is the love?

im broken.im crying.
im dying inside.

'i was dying inside to hold u..
never believe what i felt for u..
dying inside i am dying inside..
i couldn't keep myself from loving you...''

When you had a bad day.

Was real tired ytd..slept through AFD..hope she's not gg through the exam revision papers today..don't feel like gg to sch..seriously no mood..but i cant.

I still dont get it. My mind in a twirl. Stop questioning me.

A Chain of Strange Events

I guess i just can't stop all my nonsense..

currently moodless to do accounts, my accounts all fucking cant balance..FUCKED UP.

Last Day of Fireworks

oh yeaH!! =) at least i manage to watch the last fireworks!! =) very nice esp the last part..hahas..but bloody hell the bloody trees were taller than me blocking most of the fireworks that are shorter in range. BASKET!!

First before i set off to watch the fireworks.. i went over to dear's place first to pick him up..LOL..just went over to meet him cus the BUM is LAZY!!!!! i brought muffins over, as he was real hungry and i can only find muffins at hm so i brought it. But he said he last min found food at home..basket..hahas..but oh wells the muffins was self-voluntary..so yea..hahas..

We were sort of wearing couple wear ytd..hahas..white top,fade jeans,black shoes.hahas..=x

Alright, we left his place bout 7 plus and we called josh on the way, as josh wanted to watch the fireworks and take some nice shots of it. Meeting him at Raffels City. The bloody train even at Tana Merah was DAMM jam pack..basket..The human crowd was even worse when we reached Raffels City, OMG>>>>>>>>>>>>

oh well, we walked out slightly to the bus-stop opposite Raffels City to wait for Josh....
After he arrived, we took the Shuttle Bus to Millenia Walk..even the road was jammed up,many people sitting outside Supreme Court..tons and tons of humans..omg..
and i was so afraid that i'll catch the fireworks on the bus...but luckily no. hahas..

we reached millenia about 8.45, wanted to walk up the bridge..but..nahh..forget it too long way.
One joker tried to change from the 4th lane to the 1st lane, in front of a TP!!! tt stupid shit kena from the TP! lol..stupid idiot..we walked str8 into the park near esplanade too many people too many trees..so we had to run further down..and i was running away on my own..leaving bf and josh behind..hahas..eventually..we reached together bout 8.57pm and found ourselves a spot hoping that the trees dont block us..but....... oh wells...better than nothing..

Everyone took out their hp, digicam, all sorts..raising them high in the air..ahhas..basket block my view...when the fireworks actually started..Dear carried me up!!!! =) so sweet of ya..to take my weight sia..he carried me for quite a while so i quickly ask him to bring me down..and we watched the fireworks..it was really nicce..i liked it alot..=) thanks dear =)

After everything, everywhere and anywhere was so full of humans..we walked a few places and we meant WALKING...that feeling sucks man..i wanted to like just disppear into thin air,away from all these humans..it was like half or 3/4 of the sg nation all at the same place..argh!!!!...
Finally we manage to pass this ordeal and out again from that sick underpass..hahas..count ourselves lucky to be able to board a cab..

We went back to Tamp inter, met with ken and mas..the usuals..and we went rounding..hahahs..as i was feeling kind of hungry..had ba chor mee again..hahas..at the jhoo chiat there..after tt..we just went around singapore..ahhas..went to harbour front, mas school, the place near indoor stadium..and then back home..whew..what a night..=)

Alright i've blabber enough..gotta do my BFD props already..
Byeee..

I hope it works.

I hope im not doing any further stupid things to worse anything. *Fingers Crossed*
I just felt like it has to be done, it's the only way.
Now im sort of feeling weird inside, but at least something.
At least it's something! *Fingers Crossed*
Omg Omg, i cant believe i did it.

I just hope it helps in a way, or else im jus A DUMB FOOK!!!

im dead.

NIGHTmaRE!!!!!!

Was home real early today, wee =) had alot of hours of sleping but...i broke out in cold sweat sia..
i didnt know what the dream was all about, only remember parts of it..well i was having dinner with sz,zhek,angela and jun..haha..not sure why they appear in my dreams..and i bumped into sh and xz at the restaurant..hahas..stupid shit..den it seems like all of us know each other for a very long itme like good frens for a long time..hahas..

Not sure where we're heading..hahas..and we ended up in a bus filled with loads of indian and Thai's..omg..and one by one all ps me and left the bus leaving me alone on my way home..thus i not sure how to get home i went down to ask the bus driver for directions and i left my Bag at the to deck..it was a double decker bus..and i didnt noe why the hell i left my bag at the top deck..BASKET!..when i return back to the top deck a Thai guy was holding on to my bag i grab it back fiercely and an indian started to snack it away from me! Fuck tt bastard!!! NO DOUBT ITS ONLY A DREAM BUT IT BLOODY SCARES ME..!!!!!!!!!!
i tried calling the police but it was in malay i dont understand don;t understand y..hahahs,.

Tt bloody dream shock me kinda bad..=x


oh wells..spent whole day rotting at home today..warm up the food and had my dinner..
Kept eating the whole day..was surprise no one came home early today..leaving me alone till bout the late evenin..oh wells..

jus did a personality DNa test..
and it states thast im a "Encouraging Dreamer"

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!!!!

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!!!!! SO OLD!!! 41 YRS OLD ALR!!!!

Im up too early, gg back to sleep after blogging...
Finally i went to watch "Tokyo Drift" kind of disappointed in a way, because it's like the Jap version of "Initial D" preferred the first two "Fast and Furious"..But the cars are nice, i like the Fairlady =)
And i like Han. =) too bad tt happened to him. I dont want to spoil the story for those viewers who hasnt watch "FAst and Furious Tokyo Drift"..hahahs..

I actually crashed bf's lecture..LOL!!! his bloody class only had like 28 people!!! but the lecturer was fine, i guess he thought i was one of his students =x It was kind of fun in a sense, the class was kind of rowdy, but fun people.

We sneaked home, after bf's group did their presentation.hahas..and went over to his place to put down his heavy Bass guitar first before heading down for movie and dinner.We were hungry like mad!! But gotta go down to Aranda first to get my pay.
Oh..i saw bf's Dad too! hahs..very friendly..

STUPIDEST!!! Thing ever happened, as the cheque didnt had my english name, i went to take my boss's pen to write my name..and its in DIFFERENT INK!!!!! argh!!!! the cheque is void already!!! i needa head back down to ask the accountant today, to write me another cheque =(
STUPID ME,ITCHY BACKSIDE!! =(

We had "AGISEN" is this how they spell it?..oh well..i dont like their ramen, not nice. =x nearly got into trouble for that..because in the first place i said i would share the noodles i take his and he take mine i forgot about it!!! and i just said the noodle wasnt nice, he gave me his and i didnt like it either..said i preferred the dry one, he was kinda angry about it though..

Something was wrong with me ytd, i kept hearing things wrongly causing bf to be kinda pist off about it..i guess it's my turn to be HEARING IMPAIRED. oh wells..

Alright enough said, im heading back to sleep..
which i highly doubt i could, hahas..just try my luck ya. Niites.

current location: Ngee Ann Poly
Time: 1.55pm

I'm so stress!!!! hahas..im in NP to accompany my bf =)
Too STRESS for me!!! if only i was student of this school or smth..Oh wells..Not THAT BAD after all, at least bf's friends are friendly =) so yeap no prob with that..

Woke up real early today..about 5am?..hahas..as i wanted to prepare "breakfast" for bf..oh wells..i only woke like 5.45? after so many times of pushing the alarm on my phone to the next 9 mins..hahas..

It seems so fun being an FSV student, no doubt there's loads/tons of things to do. I dont mind being in the course, at least in a way it's kinda linked to "MUSIC" =) But..haiis..oh well..they dont take in ITE students..so ya..We reached bf's sch bout 8am? somewhere arnd there..hahas..went to take the 48 track rm key and went to draw equipments..bf's fren ke song showed us a video meant for the song..OMG..hahas..its gruesome man!..lol..luckily i wasnt feeling sick after watching part of the video..hahs..after setting up of everything, we waited for Rahman to come and Don with his frens helping out for the vocals, gutars,bass and drums..
They were awesome man! kind of makes me wana take up some music courses for myelf too..esp electronic guitar..so cool mann..LOL..but it was serious work..loads of tuning to be done..
To some certain extend there was kind of like a little screwed up here and there..and i wasnt able to help just sat there and watched them..helpless...=(
The only i guess i could do to help bf relieve a little stress was to give him a good back massage..
As more of his classmates came into the rm..i felt real out of place..thus..i left the room.. sitting outside the studio..blogging away..hahs..oh wells..

i wana go IKEA later =x wonder if the plan will work out..hahas..
alriites..shall continue with my spider solitaire..hahas..
Bye..

Sick

Finally im down. Im finally sick. Went to sch for bout 5mins today..hahas..why the hell did i tap my card for?,..hahs..eventually i'll go home..oh wells..
After passing sz her paper, i went to see the doc..my gawd is so ex! it's $56 bucks..omg..luckily mum was with me so i need not pay =x hahas..Some infection shyt and ya i've consulted the doc bout my face too..and he gave me a lotion form thingy and a box of tablets..omg..

Im craving for potato chips right now..omg..sinful temptation, aint doing my face or weight any good. *CONTROL!* i guess i'll rest for a while, and head of for work later.
I highly doubt i'll be gg to school tmr either, doc asked me to rest more, but since i gave schedule at work already, and i highly doubt there will be another staff companying me tonight, i beta not report sick. Or else..i dont know.hahas..

i'll go catch some rest now..ciaoz

Exercise for me.

Wasnt really something to talk about tt happened last night during the phone convo.

Mas came to pick me up after pickin up da and headed off to josh's place for badminton session..LOL..can u believe it, we're actually having a healthy lifestyle =)
Had some problems once agaiin. This time round -for a moment i thought i was going to die on the spot.

He said it out himself. (Tears formed immediately)

I've got no choice but to let him know of my situation. I don't think it's anything nice or fascinating to talk about espically it's about my family life. No doubt he's my bf, i don't want him to be so worried over me, he has his things to worry about too..i dont want him have extra stress/burden.It's stupid. my situation is fcuked up.

My weekends are over, it's already Sunday..
Got to do my BFD project tmr, no more delay. And after which, i've got work. =( arghs..

i miss dear in many ways.
But at times it seems like we're both too drained.

The tv is fcuking noisy! I guess my dad has some hearing problem, he turned on the volume so loud i hate it..argh!
Might be gg for a jog later, don;t know not sure. Depends.

looking back.

Once again, im looking abck at my past posts. When me and u first got together, how awfully shy the both of us were, to a whole new different thing now, as though we knew each other for more than a few years..

Through time, people changes. People are everchanging. Changes so fast, grew tired of things easily, resulting in contradiction. I seriously can't get back to sleep i've only manage to like read my Feb post till about April's post and it took me about an hour already. I smiled at most of my post, because through those post it brings back all the "Honeymoon Period Memories" with da. We were so sweet back then, it's not that we're not now anymore, it's just that..we're more different from the past?..Well when people are in the relationship long enough, we'll somewhat know or understand our partners to a certain extend. Ya i guess that's how i can put it. No doubt we're fighting more than usual now, even to a point when both of us can just ignore each other, walking in the supermarket, but aint talking to each other and just acted normal with friends but aint with ourselves. Hurtful things/words came direct into our faces, no more giving chances. No more giving in. It felt kind of stupid to an outsiders point of view becuase we never settled our matters calmly, the way we approach the matter was like at times, shouting, with all the "fuck this fuck that,fucking this fucking that"..maybe its not me to use all these FANCIFUL words, seriously. But to dear it's normal for him cus all these while he's been saying all these.
From the starting when Da was so protective of me not wanting to do anything to hurt me physically, till now...we can pinch each other, flicked each other, even when i told him my left finger which i hurt it a few months back while playing basket ball that index finger on my left hand, up till now...it's hasn't fully recovered yet!!! and it hurts even more when it's being cracked!

Maybe it's due to too many rounds of fight we had that, at times we can't stand each other. But eventually, we'll recover and be loving again. It's like we're acting in a story, for a moment we can be real sweet, the next moment u know it, we're fighting me throwing tantrums and he like a wild beast..yes..he's like a beast at times when we quarrelled...

Quarrels makes relationship turn sour, real sour to a point when sometimes you just felt like letting go..But i know it'll hurt even more if it actually happened. We say things that we don't mean to when we quarrelled, it's like the both of us are real stubborn, neither of us wants to give in, fight till the end. That's how our relationship works..

Watched movie with the usuals.."The Click" a real touching movie i must say..I cried. It's real sad..
Imagine if i had that remote and everytime me and dar fights, i'll fast forward that page..omg..i don't want to fast forward my life man..

Seems like i've grumbled quite alot of things..
=(
wth..it took me bout 15mins to blog..OMg..how long winded am i?..
* i still wana watch fireworks =(

cant sleep

For some reasons, i can't get back to sleep. Therefore i've got no choice, but to turn on the com so as to company me till later.I'm still tired. But i can't get back to sleep. I guess for these few days i'm gonna be back to a zombie, like the past once again..argh! i hate this.

-unwell.

arghhhh

arghhh..i feel hungry, tired, feel like gg for a swim, i don't know what im thinking.
The Excel exam was a killer for ME today. I've missed out quite alot of things, i didnt autofit the columns, landscape one of the reports, omitted my index number, instead of using &Date, i went to typed it out manually, argh wtf, i guess my marks are all gonna be deducted...ya im STUPID..
My arms are once again swelled. After receiving the terrible spikes from my coach, it has resulted in some slight bruises on it.

Had prawn bee hoon soup for lunch once again with aud,van and von. Spicy like mad, with lots of chili padi, sets my tongue on fire..hahas..but the feeling was shiok! hahahs..which made me feel more hungry after it.stupid shit. hahas..

National day coming real soon =) there will be a few more days of fireworks after National Day, saw the notice on TVMobile today while i was on my way to school, hehe =))
I don't think i wana go to school on Tue, some post National Day celebration i guess?..well im just thinking only..not confirmed yet of anything or whatsoever.

Working morning shift tomorrow at HD =(( i getting kinda sick of that job, somehow.
Some ppl just talked to me online, hahas..weird. I aint in the mood to reply..
I guess i'll just catch a nap now, since I'm home so early today.
I've forgotten totally abt the BFD project..suppose to stayback today to get it done, feel like skipping work tomorrow, i don't mind doing BFD project cus i don't think it's gonna take 5-6 hrs to do..just simple things i guess?..hahas..don't know, not sure. haiis..
gtg..
byee

tired.

im so not in the mood of going to school.
It's gonna be a LONG day in school, lessons till 4? or is it 3? and then training till 9pm. I exaggerate things, takes dumb project so seriously, simple slides takes me few weeks to fucking complete. Ridiculous.

I no longer feel like explaining anything anymore. I wana sleep at least 24hrs away.
I'm working at HD this sat, morning shift. Work and more work, I'm working Mon,Wed and Sat at Aranda next week, which means i'm gonna miss the fireworks on Wed. HD called me ytd and i didnt pick up their phone, reason being- I guess it's about my schedule... IM LAZY.
If it's isn't cause of handing in the project, i feel like skipping the OFA lesson to have more sleep. I doze off in the study room with my working uniform ytd, woke up in the middle of the night walking around the house lyk a zombie changed out of my uniform and get back to sleep. Im lazy to even go iron my clothes, i guess i can't make it on time once again to meet von at the interchange, hahas..
Set my priorites right--
It nearly ended.
Dear hasnt been sleeping much lately, he has tons of things to do. Lots of test coming up, have more rest when u can dear. U need slp too.

Saw HER ytd.

Dear found a job. Till then both of us will be working alot.
argh, it looks like it's gonna rain outside real soon, can smell that familiar scent before the rain.

never found solutions, never knew.
-actions speaks louder than words- What have u got joanne? ( I think to myself...blank in my mind)

-silent mind in troubled moments...-

-

well, im suppose to be sound asleep, but oh wells..i cant. Im wide awake for god knows what reason.
guess i'll continue with my project..im having bad outbreaks once again!!! arghs!!!! =(
kinda hungry right now, cant eat! cus it's bad to snack in the middle of the night, esp at such hours..arrgh..wth..

was so FAT conscious today..hahahs..oh well..
It happened in school during lunch. People involved were, Audrey,Von,Van,SZ and Nysha. hahas had a hell of time at Campus Heaven, i had Set A for lunch..consisting of Chicken fillet, rice and colesaw. hmmm, i guess i was real hungry..manage to complete my meal. hahas..and von,van,aud can still say they're on diet, lol..they had pizza and chicken wing. LOL..omg, aud and van was fighting over who should eat more of the chicken..lol..crap but darn funny ending up with me and von laughing lyk mad..

Wasn't really a fine day for Dear, he's stressed up with the recording tingy, haiis..=(
irresponsible people, i dont want go into detail.

Went back to Aranda just now and made dear company me. wanted to see him...
Adam made a tropical drink for me and dear to share. Mixture of pineapple and erm orange?..hahas..cant rem..well..it taste alrights..getting my pay on the 7th!!!! omg..7 more days of struggle..OMG! i forgot to wish fang her bdae!! msg her now..lol..
alriite im back, omg time really flies man, zoom past!..we're growing old man!! turnin 19 soon!! eeee!! i dunwana grow up..=(

Was talkin to dear on the web cam when he got back home..hahas..he looks cute and at the same time real attractive, handsome. just felt lyk huggin him then and there..hahas..hugging the screen?..i guess i would be crazy to do that..hahas..

enough of my bullshitting..
good nites everyone. =)

with love,
joanne

im happy =)

i was late for work by an hour today =x
Eve gave me a shock at TAmp's MRT platform, i wasnt paying much attention to the passer-by and she was lucky to sneak up in me and gave me a shock of my life..hahas..that gurl..YOU LIED!!! says who that u put on weight !!!! Ur're still the same !!!..SKINNY!!!..and one thing for sure..she is getting PRETTIER!!! I SWEAR!!!
well, was kinda busy at work today, customers came in all at once, busy till it was time for me to knock off and head down town to meet my dear! =)

Well, i wasnt informed by my bf that they had gone to HMV, therefore..i gotta walk back to HMv from WIsma..oh wells..i should had called again upon nearing the destination. hahas..i aint blaming or anything..so yea.

Was kind of hungry as i didnt had lunch at work, was too busy though. Met up with bf,mas and kenn at HMV and we shopped around a while..Dear bought himself a pair of earrings. hahas..looks kinda small though..but oh wells, gotta do with it first =) hehe.All of them felt tired, as i was kind of hungry and being the fact that they cant really make decisions lol, i've decided to head to the nearest- Cine Leisure, to have my late lunch..hahas..i had Yoshinoya. yummy =)
Followed by KFC popcorn chicken wahahaha..so much for dieting =x

After all the resting and sheat, we made our way to PS. Just to play guitar freaks. I own my bf =x hahahs..well..he's good too..he own me at Drums..hahas..after the "jammin session" lol, we headed home. Sorry bout it MAs and Kenn..hahas..well..went over to dear's place..we talked about alot of stuff =)
i like the feeling of just lyking on dear's chest and just talk about everything and anything..our plannings..lol..
It felt so "future" =) hehe.
He's my 1st bf ever that could just talk out everything on how we felt..just anything..and i kinda liked that feeling =) chatted till bout 11.45pm when his mum came back..so we head of for supper at 85 hahahs! OMG..im gaining back the FATS..=x

alrights, i guess i gotta crash soon..meeting my p.sch frens tmr at 12pm..omg..its nearing 3 and im still so full of energy..must be the oyster omelette.
gonna take loads of pics tmr..hahahs..
alrights. good nite readers =)

[Dj still going strong =) ]

true or conincidence? for u to decide..

---------------JANUARY BABY--------------------
pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

----------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

------------------APRIL BABY -------------------
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. hot but has brains.

-----------------MAY BABY -----------------
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

------------JUNE BABY ------------- You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

----------------JULY BABY --------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

------------AUGUST BABY ---------------
utgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------
Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music. ]________________________________________________________________________

life..

Most of the time people are contradicting themselves,
sometime people changes real fast that you aint sure if tt change is temporary or true..

How should people of my age be like?..
What's a lifestyle of a 19 to be?..
What will my future be like in a few years down the road?..would it be happily ever after?..
I guess that only happens in fairytales..
I guess im uttering nonsense of my own once again.

Aint sure of what im blogging these days, hahas..oh wells..

Met up with dear just now..no doubt its only for a while..just missed helding his hand..
missed his hugs too..hahas..= ) im afraid of falling deeper, till there's no return. Or is it, i've fallen into the pit of love. There's always some part of the past haunting me.
Afraid that history repeats itself once again. But i have the trust in him. It's only bad past experiences, that creates some form of phobia in me.
The more we dont get to see each other much, the more my feelings grew.
It's the absence that made me miss him even more than usual. =)
I hope its not a bad thing, i've fallen deeper in love with you.

"I LOVE YOU"

Aching

Was it meant to be?..

Finally its the weekends again. I can finally rest once again. MIssed entrepreneurship meeting once again, hahas..well it just slipped my mind =x

My whole body is aching due to the vball training yesterday. aRghs..Both arms swelled, due to the spiking of my coach. argh...my knees feels like its been locked, unable to bend them. Thus giving me lots of problem walking, especially climbing of the stairs, had cramps today, PAINFUL! Had accounts test, hope i can get 100 for this.

School overall was kinda slack today, working tmr morning...hope there wont be much customer?...feel like taking mc =x

Sometimes people wonders, what it would be like to be with so and so..
Up till now..people still wonders...
I wonder...haiis..
It's like u came the wrong time, wrong place...
At times it felt wrong, or is it most of the time for my case..
Believe it or not..i always feel like a 3rd party..stupid sheat..
Well you cant control what people are thinking, well..i just can't help thinking either, cus i was never in the league. Just a spare.

Well..getting my pay in like 3 days time? =x hahahs..yesh! finally..
What would you do if you were in my situation?..
Well, i guess no one does cus i aint saying anything about it..
Just keep it that way, short and sweet.
i dont have to say anything to you.
Deep down inside. kept within.

a day at Toy R' Us

Was a tiring day in school today. Felt real lethargic. Manage to push myself to complete my accounts. Wasnt really active in school today.

Met up with Dear after school, as we had to return the Dvds we owed for like about a month plus? hahahs..
i wanted to renew my library book but i was lazy to go to the library..wait till tmr bahhs..hahas..

After returnin the Dvds, we went TM to walk around. Walkin aimlessy till we were exhausted looking for a place to sit down. The weather was so hot today, it's like the air-con have malfunctioned.
After walkin for so long, we went into our favourite shop Toy R' Us..
It was real hillarious!!! ahhahs.. we played soccer, Star wars returns LOL..i was laughing till my stomach can't take it. LOL..It was fun spending time in the shop. WE played soccer till we got scolded by the sales person..=x

Actually wanted to follow Dear to meet up with the usuals for dinner, but i was too tired so i went back hm first.

i guess tt's all abt it..
bleah =)
love u.

What A Day.

My mum didnt wake me up at 9 today as what i asked her to. Reason being, she was at work and her boss was around therefore unable to call me. Mr Tan said he would wake me up. But neither did he. i woke up on my own at 10. Was like a "gan jiong spider:" Rush ironin of my clothes,bathe and do a quick pack with stuffs i need and out i left the nest.

So now i've finally know my way of going to UBI. Either i take 65 or 22 from Tamp interchange and then alight at some stop and wait for 93. And "TADA!" im at UBI Driving centre. Well lame..alrights alrights. After the test, Dear came down, as he wanted to book for PDL. But eventually, lol we didnt book anything. After dear got his queue number. We went down for lunch, by the time we got back up, the counter was already CLOSED. ahahas and Dear went down for nothing...well....just treat it like u went there to pick up ur gf who just failed her FTT?..arghs..gotta rebook agains..

Went Suntec to watch "Pirates" not bad, preferred the first one though. Even though i've like forgotten the stroyline for the part 1. Looking forward to part 3 seems like more things would be revealed. SOrry Dear,, for making u watch it with me for the Second time. Had B&J lol..we shall buy one bowl each the next visit =x ahahs

Headed off after that..wasnt really a good day once again. My eyes feels heavy and itchy right now. Too much of getting back at each other. I can't help myself from going away from him..so i was the one doing all the walking up to him. Till a point where i just felt like staying stagnant. and Dear thinks tt i dont bother bout him. Well..i "layan" if tt's how its spelt. "Layan" me sometimes ar..=(
Im kinda sad though when it feels like this. and Dear is real stubborn..lol..stupid shit. If he doesnt wana move means he doesnt wana move. Nothing stops him. Not even me. I guess must be like some "powerful figure/person" has tt ability to bring him down?.. =x

Everyone changes everything changes. You wont expect this person to be the same 10yrs down the road. It's always the starting of the relationship tt is fun and sweet. After that, it's up to u to decide. Maybe i've caused him to change back to what he was sort of like in the past?
How do i help to make situations better? Are expectations too high here?..
I don't dare to think about the future..
I'm afraid the future freaks me out.
think about it.
Self-refelction.

Who am i?

wish me luck.

Having my FTT tmr..11:35-12:45 if im not wrong..well hope i'll pass this time round. Dear will be accompaning me dwn to UBI to do his PDL and hopefully mine too..
Considering whether to take auto or manual..haiis..Well b4 i get to tt..i've still gotta pass my FTT first..arghs..

Well lets recap what happened today..
Went to work as usual..was in a world of my own at work..because im working the mornin shift so i got the rest of the day to enjoy myself =) Didnt touch any homework today..OMg..School starting on MOnday..argggghhhh..i want a longer holiday man! arghs!
So far my project only has like 3 slides..and im still stuck there..lazy to continue man...

Alrights after finishing work..i went home straight..and Dear came over my place to slack..hahas..cus i was lazy to go over his place..poor thing sia..hahas..the initial plan was to watch "Pirates Of the Carribean.." but oh wells..preferred going out to meet the rest to slack..don't really have the "feel:" to watch Pirates..well..yupps..

Dear has been asking me all these weird questions lately..like "Will be angry if i looked at other girls?"..well dear..i'll use back the same example u gave me today..put urself in my shoes.
Well...actually it depends..just watching doesnt really mean anything. Unless u went to continus fantasizing over it..and talk on and on abt it and all..well u noe...Dats kinda too much los..=x i mean "IF"...
Stupid Dear smacked my head real hard today...idiot..it HURTS! u stupid shit..hahhas..i didnt ask for much did i? i just wana bite ur face..=x hahahas..dun ask me why but i always feel like biting him..=x
In a way just holdin hands with Dear made me feel love =) dunno wad tt shit head tinks?
hahahas oOopps =x
tt's jus how i love to call him..lol..but u noe i love u dear =)
feeling real tired now..i guess i'll read through one more round on my FTT book before i crash..
as promised..

good niites people..wish me luck
peace out.
Dj still going on strong.

gaming and free meals

Yeap no doubt, i said FREE meals..hahah..shall not go into detail bout tt =x

Well..let's see, i woke up abt 11plus today? and yea was online all the way till about 4plus in the noon..doing my project and at the same time changing my blogskin..hahas..i liked this blogskin better than my previous..wanted to search back my older one but cant be found.

Dear called asking if wana go play lan game..hahas..got kinda addicted to "Battlefield" intro by dear and the rest..hahas.. bleahs..
Well, imagine tt even while gaming we could quarrel! arghs! felt bad though cus i use parent's name for my character name..and ya you should know who's i used... I tried changing it..but i don't understand why my changed name wasnt appeared on the rest of the guys screen..and well..i was kinda pist off myself..so i quit the game and went into maple..hahas..and i saw ms heng shi hui inside..lol..sorry gal..i use those "code words" lol..

I saw my ex at katong..omg.He looked lyk bangla man..ahahs..but tt wasnt the main point..so yeap.

eh i have a secret to tell u..smoking is bad for health..hahas =x

well i guess being in a relationship..you gotta let go of quite a number of things. Things like hanging out late into the night with friends..you know just hang out, chilling..nothing bad alrites..well..i still hang out with friends and all..but i wont miss out my bf =) dont want him to feel insecure..
you just gotta put urself in ur partners point of view of what they think of how he/she feels with the what you are doing and stuff like that..im bad to a certain extend cus i tend to be selfish at times only to pity myself when i find that the things he did hurt me...But actually im doing things that hurts him..tt's y we got into quarrells and stuff..Well..is it due to the ego? hahahah =x
Well both of us are bad! =x after reading through his blog..i do see a chnange in him..in myself too..Both changing for sort of the worst! lol..but we're sweeter than the past =) Cus the complicated love of ours is growing fonder for each other? LOL..what am i talking about man?!!! LOL..readers sorry for the "hard to digest fact of mine?" LOL bleahs! alrights alrights! i'll try to stop my nonsense with the parents name shit..and me being kind of vulgar..i must say its through the influence of you! Mr Daryl!!! hahaha..i dont use horrible vulgarities before if u realise..=x i think its cus of the gaming too..OH NO!!! urgh! uncivilise =x..

enough of my nonsense...gotta go slp now..tiired man..
nittes =)
love u (",)

shutting down.

My eyes can barely open man, feeling real tired. Keeping myself awake by reading my superman's blogs.hahahas..im calling him right now for the 3rd time. 'ring....'
Hahahs that pig! should had bet with him! he COULD NOT WAKE UP TO DO HIS ASSIGNMENT!!!!!!!!! arghs!..oh wells..what should i do?!!! arghs..he's definately sleepin throughout man...

Was working 2 places today once again..
There were bout 13 people today for lunch..one was the usual people..the Aranda staff and the other was just some walk-in customer...
arghs i'm lazy to blog the whole shift man..oh wells..the gist was that i liked the ballons meant as a gift for that lady's birthday.very nice =)
knocked off at 2 and headed down to haagen dazs. At first i was kinda lazy to start work..But after a while..i just crapped along with cecilia and monster..hahas..and kept myself busy..
Times passes real fast today, i realise i didnt had the time to even look at the clock today, or should i say i could not be bothered? ahahas..was thinkin of my guy today at work and i cant help it but msged him..i miss u alot today da =) ALOT!! arghs..

im dead tired now...'yawns'
nites people
sweet dreams..

eye sore

My eyes feels heavy, and are smaller than usual. Suppose to wake up at 5 to do my hw but i drag till now. Thanks for ur kind testi Ms Heng. I'll remember that. hahas..well the other day meeting at Simpang sure was fun and me ordering a second serving of "Tissue" oh man..sinful indulgence..LOL..
I went to view everyone's profile on friendster to kill time lately. Hahahs, bad rites? Well i find it alrights..=x just anyone and everyone. Be it in my friend list or not, i just view view view. =x Well am i considered kaypo-in? well im sorry if you think i am. No offence ya? But i've just got nth better to do. Do add me as friends ya? hahas..i dont mind making more friends though. But im attached ya? hahas..
A long day at work ytd, but the total cover was only 11. hahas..
First time slpin at Aranda, and i had nightmares alr. i dreamt that Dar was being attacked by something..i guess it was snake or smth?..i've forgotten once i woke up. I jumped up immediately from that dream. Was scary though.
i tried to remain as my usual self at work, but was in the toilet for a while. Returning back to work with swollen eyes.Peep at work like Yan xian, asked me what happened... i just tried to divert away the question. I made myself hot milk with sugar and a little cocoa powder. It taste real nice =)
Yes i know it sounds a little weird but ya i don't drink milk..i wanted hot chocolate. So i tried my luck =x LOL
I close cashier fast and went home straight after. Logged onto the net for a while and headed for bed. Chatted with him for a while on the phone and i doze off fast after we hung up. Not able to think much, because of my splinting headache.
I scribbled on a paper at work, and it turned to be like of some song lyrics. A sad one. I dump it away after scribbling for a while.
sigh~ Enough of me blabbering nonsense..
i'm heading back to complete my accounts. Having lessons later.. ciaoz.

day went by.

was real bored at home today. intended to meet up wif sh earlier to bake cookies. a surprise for dear. But dragged the whole day as i wasnt really in the right mood to like go out and all..
Eventually..made up my mind and meetin sh at 5.
it was kinda fun baking and cookin..lol i helped out in cookin as i have not touched cookin for a real long time. Packed a little of the food and the cookies for Dear..
well i guess there's room for improvement?..
Met up with dear and the usual people for yet another slacking session. After which was joy ride to Jalan Kayu. Felt kinda bad cus jz wasn't able to follow us there cus the car was packed.
Some things happened at jalan kayu. But it was over soon..nothing much.
feeling tired now..
wana slp.. good nites.
i love u dear, im sorry for not being myself lately, i promise it'll go away.
i love u.

miseries.

people tend to self-pity when they are alone suffering.
it's so stupid.cus at tis point in time. one tends to think of oneself, discarding the feelings of others.
i am one of them. its so fucking stupid.
go away. don't come near me.
im selfish.

awake

Had weird dreams last nite. hahas it's like im in a fantasy world. Was like saving the world with bears,and some other cartoon animals..lol..omg..dumb dream it was..
The first thing i did when i woke up was to check my hp.there was a miss call i was hopin it was bf.But it wasnt, just my fren.
Didnt went out with sh this mornin as planned, cus my cramps was hurting alot..wonder if it's necessary to see a doc? =(
im feeling better now after the long rest. Wonder if there's any plans today?
Wonder where is bf...
I hate wondering so much..arghs. i guess i'll go do my hw now..
bye.

miss

i miss u.

haiis

arghz..i've been slpin for tooooo long!!!!!!! whole day gone just like tt..just cus of the cramps..ah!!!!!
=( i guess he's asleep alr..didnt answer his phone.

a lonely night for me i guess..time when i start to let my imagination run wild.once again.
beeen thinking too much lately. What if it really happens? DO i know how to handle it? arghs..
missing bf alot now..

He's been real nice to me lately..for the past 2 days..hahas..i miss him alot now =(
Feel like calling him a few more times..but what if he's aslp? i don't want him to be grumpy though..hahs..
Never really go out with bf much lately..and my situation now..i doubt i wana go out either..
the bloody cramps!!!!! arghs!!!! =(
currently doing nothing jus online chattin with frens..

i miss u like crazy..
niites.

wrong.

it was a bad move.

alone to myself

finally a whole day of work off loaded. =)
all by myself me and com. At times i would think to myself about things..........
seriously, what would it be like without u?
that thought that just pop up in our conversation. Would u continue with ur pursue? hahas..well just can't help thinking and there's something weird about me, i'll usually encourage my bf to go for tt girl..hahas..guess i'm weird? I'll think it's not worth if my bf were to like give up on someone he really likes alot. This always happens. In all of my relationship.It's not about comparing or whatever. But i can't help it just thinkin of stuff like- what if i didnt appear in his life? i would have been a nobody till today. Just work, friends and maybe more work.
Don't ask me why but i seriously look down on myself.
Low self-esteem.

What would it be like in the near future?
no one knows a clue about it. neither u nor me?
What would u do if a teleporter existed?
What does true love means?
What am i talking about?
It just felt weird. Suddenly.

when im with u.

doesnt matter what we do just as long as im with u =)

we've been on the rocks lately, ending up in bad situations. But its always sunshine after the rain. =)
being able to see u, just chase away my sadness. It's raining outside right now.
wanted to go over to his sch to meet up with him but well as per usual, im late =p hahahs..tt's nth new man. Always happens hahas.
So i just meet him at Clementi control. Well guess where we headed? right back from where i left. Tampines!!!! argh! i was thinking we might be having dinner at IKEA or smth =x arghz! but oh wells. missed him =) cant wait to see ya! hhahas..
Bf was real irritating! arghz! disturbed me all the way throughout the trip..but poor thing though..he gotta stand all the way back to Tampines =( sorry dear..didnt offer u my seat.
We're up for Pasta! craving fer pasta hahas! =)
so we headed straight fer Pasta Mania. And i guess that's where Dear grew kinda upset.Cant wait to leave the place? hahas..cus we saw TM. Actually if he didn't approach us. we wouldnt even noe he was outside. I can see Dear wasnt really happy bout it. Understood that. But we still stayed on to have our pasta.
That feeling of awkwardness. MY bf and my ex. But i don't feel anything. Cus my feelings fer bf is way much more =)
NO DOUBT.LOTSA TRUST. BF i LOVE U!

vexed.

Call me a noob. i seriously can't find any relevant pictures for my project. and thus i've yet started on it. I hope i don't waste my time like this.

Feeling moodless lately, might be due to the lack of sleep i got. But i woke up quite early today. Woke up bout 11 plus. My only off day. I'm working 2 places tmr once again. =( Kinda sick of working. I've like locked myself up from my social life. It's now only me and work. Even the time spend with bf is little. Just phone conversations. Friends are worst. Not contacted at all =(

Seems like the little exposure from people, i grew more sensitive of things. Feeling lonely in a way =(
It's like no one understands me. More of just going with the flow. Working seems to pull me down alot. It's hard to act strong anymore. Breaking down real easily lately. I don't wana cry so much. I hate that " sour feeling "

vexed.

work

Been working lately, and have yet started on my project. Didn't really have the time to sit down in front of my com and blog about my life.

Went to my class chalet lately. Almost whole class was there. Had BBQ and slacked around. Played cards and took lots of photos with Audrey,Zhen,Von,Zara ahahs..wacky pics we took. Didnt stayed long.

Lately, i've been drowning myself with work. Feel kind of tired. Wanted to quit that job. But NO! i wont. Gonna Prove u wrong. It's like im immune to the "tidious" workload. i've learnt how to cope with it. School's starting soon. Homeworks yet completed. I'm so dead. I need some awakening!. I wana have fun than just work! arghz. NO $ how can i have fun? stupid contradicting shit. =(

And with mums ranting. Arghz! i just can't afford to be jobless.
i'm uttering nonsense once again. Gotta go prepare already. Working at HD @ 5pm.
byeeee.

i failed.

i failed in my promises.
i made u pist off once again.
i feel so useless.
the way things said ... i was seriously hurt, but i guess i made u felt worse. because i've been hurting u all along.
if ever to come a day, when we will never see each other again. please. hate me to the core.
At times i really felt like im not worth any bit.
im tempremental, unreasonable, insensible. It was already a blessing in disguise when we fell in love.

recall the past.
When we were at Bedok Reservoir talking bout everything. WHat was that feeling can u recall?
can u recall the times when u were ill and i tried buying luo han guo for u to drink?
a holiday over at genting & KL
the Dvd marathons.


Mayb the past is a bad thing to recall.
i love u.
seriously i do.

Yes its all just words. But if u felt with ur heart.
...
it's how u and i collide.


im still loving u.

all clashed together..
having class chalet today and goin out with nite cyclin clan..for u know what.

I guess I'm lacking of sleep, feeling so tired right now. Been lazy to blog lately, won't be pleasant either if i were to blog it down. It was me and Dar's 4th month together and we went Hard Rock to celebrate =) yummy!
Had Nachos, very huge serving! lol Dar had the honey-pork chop and i had hmm..i've forgotten the name for it..lol but it's with marcoroni cheese ultra DELICIOUS!!!!! i feel like uploading the pictures we took at Toy R' Us but i guess i better keep my promise of not showing to people how funny the both of us looked when we had those plastic wigs? lol on our head =p i can't stop laughin man! =x

After having so much fun we went back to tamp to meet up with the usual ppl for soccer cause it's screening on the Big Screen at the big field beside Tamp Mall..the atmosphere was there. It was so cool, and we were all shouting like crazy hahas =p

oh ya! and Dar cycled me back home after England's match to change to shorts and refilled their bottles. hehe
Tompang me a few mre times ah! go get a bicycle! =p

alright i'm too lazy to blog further..lol..byeee..